pinky and the brain - s1e3a: tokyo grows
episode summary: inexplicably existing in post-war japan, brain hijacks a shrink ray he just found laying around in order to make it a growth ray. he intends to dress pinky up as terrifying local monster gollyzilla, and pretend to defeat him, so the japanese people… elect him… president. of. japan.
all i’m gonna say is shinzo abe’s replacement has a hell of a lot coming to him if that’s a job requirement.
you can tell because it says “tokyo 1956″ in big letters at the bottom of the screen.
as we take a detour into acmeshito labs, senior-ly produced by tom ruegger,
we see a fellow sacrificing his shoes to the shoe gods. (sorry about that weird line at the bottom. vlc player has just decided it’s doing that now, i guess. nothing i can do about it.)
inside, some other lads, who have all been produced by peter hastings (my, the man gets around) are shrinking tvs for fun and giggles.
“at last! professor mifune! you have perfected the process of shrinking electronic devices, so we can sell them to americans for a lot of money!”
“yes, shimura, and now i say to you! miniturisation will be very,
and then they both shuffle over to stand in front of each other and laugh in a weird stilted way.
HA. HAHAHA. HAHAHA. i’m not sure if this is making fun of japanese people, or a common trend in japanese media (or voice acting?) at the time, but, um, i’m uncomfortable.
thankfully, the newly miniturised radio advertises that Legendary Prehistoric Monster Gollyzilla has been spotted, and apparently
the emperor wants mifune’s scientific opinion on gollyzilla
so maybe it’s best for mifune and shimura to get the fuck out of dodge.
so the two of them make a hasty retreat - after toeing their shoes back on, of course.
brain looks pensive. i don’t know what’s in that waterbottle, but he’s having a tiny mousie crisis. pinky is narfing at him with little to no concern for his mental state.
still, crisis or not, brain has a world to take over. he mentions to pinky that the scentific equipment before them will be “invaluable for his plan to”
“TAKE OVER THE WORLD.” we really do get one per episode, huh.
“you mean you’re going to shrink down all the electronic so only mice can operate them?”
which is a reasonable idea, i think. brain counters it with “don’t be absurd, pinky, there’s no future in minaturisation,” and clarifies that is is big things that strike fear into the hearts of humans.
like that ridiculous legend of gollyzilla. <gay little hands on hip pose>
as pinky ponders whether Kay Ballard is In The Union (sorry, pinky, she’s dead) brain explains that his intent is to alter the shrink ray into a growth ray, to “become a four hundred foot tall mouse and save the world from gollyzilla.”
“but you just. said there was no such thing as gollyzilla, brain.”
did we really need another closeup for that line, guys? really? is it not enough to have the mouse say his lines without shoving the camera into his face? must the man deepthroat the camera every time he has things to say?
anyway brain’s plan is to dress pinky up as gollyzilla and “save tokyo” from him. you can tell because the camera angle makes it look like his head is on gollyzilla’s body.
this random man takes a toke from his old timey pipe. “yes, i see.” he says. this is not explained.
as brain reverses the shrink ray into a growth ray, pinky makes his debut.
“what do you think, brain? pretty scaaaaaaary, eh?”
“yes, pinky. terrifying. stand by.”
there probably won’t be a lot left of the lab when brain is done, unfortunately.
“where are you, brain? i can’t see you.”
well, he’s clearly dead, so i guess that’s this review over.
jokes, of course. lucky for us, brain is still alive, and he has brought a little megaphone with him! awwww.
“now, go on your rampage, gollyzilla!” he’s very hype for that, it appears. pinky tries his best not to disappoint.
NARF POIT I AM PINKZILLA KING OF THE MONSTERS
AARGHGGHGHH RAAARGHGHG ARGH.
it’s this random man again. “yesss, i see.” i don’t know who he is, or why he’s here, and i am scared.
but never mind him. we cut to this adorable straight couple chilling on this bridge.
“and i love you, hershel.”
unfortunately, famously heterophobic legendary monster gollyzilla is here. “hello!” he says, cheerily. “i’m on a rampage. narf.”
fumiko and hershel get the fuck out of dodge.
still, pinky’s having fun, and that’s what matters.
though bits of his costume are coming off.
“oooh, i can’t see through this thing!”
“oh no! the giant monster is moulting!”
rip that guy, i guess. upon attempting to recover his lost glove, pinky accidentally spikes his tail on a nearby building in the process.
“egad. i’m all a tangle!”
he gives it a yank, for good measure,
and ends up catapulting himself into the abyss.
the random man is back. “yesss, i see,” he says. what does he want? what is he doing here? please don’t smoke in front of me, sir. i have real bad asthma.
meanwhile, brain is making himself “the largest mouse on earth, and hero of the planet.”
this frame is terrifying so obviously i’m making everyone look at it.
“people of tokyo! do not fear! i, brainodo, have come to save you!”
i’m not sure they’re convinced. the army have shown up, by this point.
“it’s another giant monster! even more ugly than gollyzilla!”
brain suggests that, perhaps, he is actually an artificially enlarged labmouse here to save them from gollyzilla, and maybe they could thank him by making them emperor.
the military do not agree.
so, yknow, maybe it’s best that he goes to look for pinky.
“how can i save the city from gollyzilla with no gollyzilla!” yells brain, as he steps on a school bus and either, 1, kills like 40 children, or 2, ruins the setpiece for melanie martinez’s 2019 music video “wheels on the bus.”
(no one’s watching us don’t give a fuck wheels on the bus ou ou)
anyway it’s a good thing that pinky has decided to spontaniously burst out of this lake. man’s really commiting to the role, huh.
after admonishing pinky for running off,
brain reminds him to “make the battle look realistic”. their plan, of course, depends on it.
TAKE THAT, YOU HORRIBLE BEAST
pinky sure is putting a weird amount of effort into this battle. and pyrotechnics??? yeah.
as brain unflomphs himself, and prepares to strike back, pinky comes over to see what’s going on.
“go away, pinky. can’t you see i’m fighting with pinky?”
“how can you be fighting with me over there, if i’m over here?”
“it’s a very simple principle, pinky! it’s because!”
“that’s the real gollyzilla.”
and by the looks of things, he’s not very happy.
pinky’s first instinct, upon seeing The Real Gollyzilla (please stand up, please stand up) brandishing a building at them, is to pick brain up and flee in terror.
it’s very cute. he just scoops him up and nopes him away. not today, gollyzilla. not today.
gollyzilla, unfortunately, seems pretty bloody determined to make it today.
unfortunately, in his quest to deliver brain to safety, pinky walks right into a pylon.
and unfortunately, they fell directly onto what was once acmeshito labs, which activates the growth ray in the process.
who are you??? what the fuck do you want?? why are you just smoking your pipe and looking at me like that and saying yesss, i seeeee. what do you see??? did the newslady send you??? what do you want from me??????
he gets shot by the growth ray. good. die.
the mice, as you can imagine, are not having a great time of things right now.
gollyzilla is fully prepared to bonk them on the head.
random man? is that you? are you our hero, random man? is this your redemption arc?
do you see now, random man? what do you see?
well, he just yeeted a building, so jot that down.
he seems to be preparing himself to yeet gollyzilla, too.
the mice duck out of the way as the fearsome creature is launched like an olympic sport. good thing tokyo 2020 got cancelled, i guess.
air lizard. nyoom. unfortunately they land on the remains of acmeshitu labs,
and nudges the growth ray in the process.
the mice look on, perturbed, as it starts firing at random objects.
at least acmeshito labs is going back in for repairs.
“it’s a shame we’re not giant any more, brain.”
“we are, pinky. unfortunately, so is everything else. our relative smallness remains.”
alright. that’s the end of that one, i guess. that’s going down as a solid outside influence.
brain: 5 ½
pinky: 6 ½
outside influence: 11
but oh, wait, no. is earth like, 400 times its’ previous size, now? surely that can’t be good for the universe????
what are your thoughts, bbc science focus?
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