on missing people @griefcomix - Tumblr Blog

i feel pathetic for how much im affected by this partly because ive never had someone closer to me than an extended family member die before and i didnt realize how much it would fck me up

l-amouur

grief-observed

People who have an idea of neat little stages have it all wrong.

serious

sad truth

#reblogs

i keep feeling guilty for not being more sad and i just. i dont know, how emotions work. i dont ever stop missing him but sometimes i dont feel In Pain from how much i miss him and then i feel really guilty

treating this as a trauma helps somewhat because like, trauma isn't Easy but i know it, it's something ive dealt with it helps my feelings feel more real, i guess. like i know that my trauma doesn't Go Away when i'm not actively upset about it and it helps because im terrified that any time im not feeling uncontrollable sadness over him it means it didn't affect me that much which sucks because emotions are weird for me

#text posts

i really wish i hadnt told irl people (especially my dad) about Whats Going On, mainly my dad, because he has a lot of trauma related to grief and also Does Not Understand Systems and i cant shake the feeling that he thinks im Malingering

hes outright accused me of faking sadness to get out of responsibilities on multiple occasions and hhghgh a lot of my Trauma Hangups come from the feeling that my trauma is never gonna be as valid as his and this is really, Not Helping

i really want bobby to come back but im scared if he does my dad will just take it as Proof that im a Liar and Melodramatic and i. ghhhgh

#fathers t

tfw you oscillate between crying for hours at a time and feeling like “well im not crying Right Now so that means im fine and i lied to everyone about being too sad to function”

#text posts