Spacebabies 2017

28 he/him red lobster won't hire me. Frostmourne kin. cigarette promotion blog. dont follow if you are under 18. 

[apas-95]

could it be....

secret mystery?

[earthmovers]

always thinking about this

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

1984 IF IT WAS GAY: WIG MOTHER IS WATCHING

[grillmasterxbbq]

1 MONTH CLEAN

i miss it so bad but i also dont miss what the fuck it did to me at all <3

ill keep going......

[grillmasterxbbq]

im 3 weeks clean

straight up forgot i had ocd while i was still a junky cause i was too dopey to go very deep in the irrational thinking spirals. still worried about manic episodes making a comeback

i miss being immune to it but i can self regulate but god it was so easy when i just didnt have to think

the cravings are a bit easier to manage now (for the moment i can just replace w alcohol which is not great either but im too old to keep up w an alcoholic lifestyle anymore lol its not like im having more than 2 binges in a week) (i need to look for a better solution than this cause it can become a huge problem if i let it run wild)

i have to keep remembering that its probably better to suffer as myself than to be a blissed out tornado ripping through my own life like its worth nothing because its really hard to admit it but my life is worth a lot. i need to treat myself with some dignity for the first time in my life even if it hurts right now.

its really weird. i hate it but i know im going to come out better for it. my entire identity is shifting though which is kind of hard to navigate. whatever! 3 weeks is good prog :]

[grillmasterxbbq]

sorry its all i talk about anymore but this is essentailly becoming my public diary for getting clean

but im starting to get really worried that the reason i didnt really have any big manic episodes for a couple years (i had small minor ones that lasted very small amounts of time) is because i was so doped up

but now that im off the opioids im scared of how intense my mania might get again. it was getting progressively worse until i got really deep in my addiction

[grillmasterxbbq]

12 days clean from opioids and i feel like im waking up from a long fever dream and i dont know who i really am anymore or whats happened over the past year and a half except for the fact that i fully lost myself

[thediscossessed]

I'm always saying this

[feignedremote]

Donato Giancola, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep: The Lovers (detail), 2009

[grillmasterxbbq]

i might be speaking too soon but i think my latest stint with trying to get clean after like months and months and months (i think pretty much a year straight with v few interruptions) like cleared the path because i only really was using again for a little under a month i think this time. anyways im probalby speaking too soon and im probably about to get really fucking sick but im on day 2 and the worst im feeling really physically at least is the restless legs bullshit. im a little nauseous but its not too bad. last month it was like i couldnt even keep a piece of bread down and i was sweating and shivering so much i thought i was gonna die. i think it helps that im on a new medication too but yeah idk im hopeful for now

[grillmasterxbbq]

im going to get clean fr this time

[grillmasterxbbq]

permanently

[grillmasterxbbq]

im going to get clean fr this time

[christianstepmoms]

[christianstepmoms]

[christianstepmoms]

[christianstepmoms]

[christianstepmoms]