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@grimaulkin
Cosign.
Can I be honest with yall I don't want to hear SHIT against cishets at pride this year
"But it's not FOR them!!!" The biggest military power in the world belongs to a christofascist nation overseen by a felon found guilty of 34 federal crimes and has greenlit a gestapo with more direct funding than the entire military of Canada for the purpose of ethnic cleansing. Let Hetero Jessica throw some biodegradable glitter at a municipal parade
At this point if anyone is trying to exclude anyone benignly pro-queer from a pro-queer space I'm just going to assume you're a fed or something idk like something something destabilize the movement from within or whatever
I am making a VERY big point of the Ally flag in all my pride stuff at work.
Feel awkward about people maybe thinking youâre queer but still want to clearly signal âqueers are okay with meâ? SURE. LOVE IT. HEREâS YOUR WEIRD FLAG.
Donât fucking at me about allies right now, they are ALSO actually getting fucking killed over us. Take your puri-gay shitty tent somewhere else mine is great with peopleâs cishet friends and relatives showing up to have our backs.
(âbut what if they -â shitty behavior is shitty behavior I donât care if you INVENTED queer sex, if youâre acting like a douche iâll kick you out. wanna act decent and accept the premises of queer coexistence and freedom, cool, iâm not judging you for feeling ok with the gender title they gave you in the delivery room or being attracted to people with the other standard issue title, grab a pop).
yep yep yep yep
If you're with us, you're welcome. Sure, sometimes you have to wear the costume before it becomes the clothes, but also, some of the best people at Pride are the slightly confused moms, dads, and siblings who show up whether or not they understand. "Love is love" also means "I don't need to get it to show up for you."
the way anti-trans people speak about us, Iâve noticed that they donât actually treat trans men and trans women that differently. They simply focus their energy on different age groups. When trans men are discussed, we are only children. Teenage/tween trans men are the main focus of transandrophobia from these groups, because we fit the agenda of âvulnerable delicate womenâ who are harder to view as men or people with agency. We are less likely to pass and more likely to have mental health issues, and therefore are easier to pass off as defective and hysterical girls.
meanwhile, trans women are almost exclusively framed as middle-aged or older. This allows them to be viewed as more mature and cunning compared to younger people. In addition, older women are less likely to fit traditional beauty standards, so this gives them an easier time making a âgross ugly predatorâ argument.
however, when forced to acknowledge trans people of other age groups, they pretty much stick to the same playbook. Older trans men are no longer treated as pitiable women, but as some sort of gross third gender, similar to trans women. They are considered part of the ring of predators trying to steal your children. And, importantly, are considered ugly. Transitioned trans men are not seen as attractive to ânormalâ men or women. conversely, young trans women are treated very similar to young trans men. The âtheyâre trying to cut off your sonâs dickâ line is well-used. And they are not treated as a weird third gender like adult trans people, and rather are categorized as vulnerable boys being preyed upon by the âactual villainsâ, adult trans women.
the purpose of this post is to point out that neither trans men or women are privileged for the way that weâre treated. Adult trans men experience very similar treatment as adult trans women, and vice versa. Transphobes do not want you to know that. They want you to think their agenda is to protect trans men and ostracize trans women, because that makes them seem less hateful. But their actual treatment of us contradicts that.
hate when men complain about how theyre not allowed to be vulnerable and people will be like "and who set that system up?" as a gotcha moment. stop acting like patriarchy was funded by calling in Every Man Ever in a room and letting them all singularly decide if they wanted it. patriarchy hurts everyone in different ways, they're allowed to complain and you shutting them down and telling them to stop complaining are doing exactly what toxic masculinity wants you to enforce
âAnd who set that system up?â
Thatâs one question to ask, sure.
But when a little boy is being told by his mother to suck it up or else heâll never be a real man?
Thatâs a woman placing that systemâs constraints upon her son. She didnât set it up any more than her son did, or her father did. But she is being the enforcer of the system.
We need to stop talking about patriarchal systems as though the current men who live under it made it, and we also need to stop talking about patriarchal systems as though they are ever only enforced by men.
And, as OP pointed out. By doing the, âand who set the system up?â at a man expressing that heâs constrained in certain ways by the patriarchy, youâre dodging the opportunity to deconstruct toxic masculinity (a crucial element of the system) and are instead enforcing that over him.
in the dungeon you will have to face a monster with the nose of a tiger, the teeth of a tiger, the ears of a tiger the eyes of a tiger , the cheeks of a tiger , the neck of a tiger, the torso of a tiger, the arms of a tiger, the paws of a tiger, the belly of a tiger the back of a tiger, the the legs of a tiger, the claws of a tiger, the ankles of a tiger, the tail of the tiger, the mind of a tiger, and the power of a tiger
that's it that's the nutshell genai is in
when thinking about how oppression works, on a structural level, my guiding principle is that I must spend at least as much time looking down as I do looking up.
what do I mean by this? here's an example. when my surgery is delayed multiple times, I spend a little time looking up (there is only one surgeon in the entire area who will perform this surgery on trans people, so every trans person's surgical timeline is bottle-necked and delayed by months every time he goes to a conference or takes a vacation or experiences an injury. in other words, if I was cis, I would not encounter this difficulty in accessing surgery). and then I spend time looking down (due to nonstop harassment and legal threats, this practice now only treats adults and will no longer perform surgeries on minors. in other words, my access to surgery is predicated on adult privilege I have at the direct expense of trans youth's lack of access).
if you do not build a habit around thinking in this way, you will become the person Audre Lorde describes as "so enamored of her own oppression that she cannot see her heelprint upon another woman's face." If we are seeking to dismantle structures of oppression, rather than to simply use and climb them, then we absolutely must make a practice of looking in both directions, especially when we feel like we're on the bottom.
having a process for people who have done morally horrific things to make amends, rejoin community, and do right going forward is actually fundamentally crucial for the left. having a clear and accessible pathway for people to be socially (if not interpersonally) forgiven is how you get people radicalized against capitalism and imperialism and white supremacy and patriarchy. its how you turn "these people think i am a bad person" into "these people think something and someone coerced or forced me into doing bad things, and these people want to help me do something about that."
if you want more revolutionaries, you must have a system to turn guilty, traumatized, angry bystanders and collaborators into revolutionaries. and I say a system and process because its not "oh the drone operator said they were sorry and felt bad so its all good now :)" there is no shortcut here. but it is absolutely necessary. no revolution is comprised of morally pure people. in many cases, the most devoted revolutionaries are the ones who know exactly what it is like on the other side.
i'm also looking forward to your girlfriend's bottom surgery
^ surgeon whose rare and sickly pet lizard only eats human testicles
Stained Glass Can of Sardines : Renske van Barschot
"the world you grew up in is gone" but not in a reactionary "there are too many brown people" way more like i woke up one day and suddenly everyone is illiterate and believes jewish people are literal demonic pedophiles, raw dairy and steak cure cancer, and AI chatbots are their friends. and i want the old world back