Grimoirenby

tax-paying adult who blocks on a whim - høn / hønde

[grimoirenby]

¿jan lon li toki e toki pona?

[miscosasalberto]

[tony-hawks-prole-skater-2]

[xxrie]

That’s why you should never accept the excuse “Well it was a different time.” They knew it was wrong. They always knew.

[lliveonthesunn]

i get why people don't believe in marriage as a social construct but legally it is the best and easiest way to say "this is who i trust to take care of me when i can't take care of myself" and i'm so glad gay people fought for that right bc when shit gets scary at least i know im in good hands

[dawnthekitty]

People don't remember how one of the worst things to happen to someone in a same sex relationship was having the love of your life hospitalized and all of their medical decisions put into the hands of family they'd cut off years ago. Of having no right to attend, much less plan, your wife's funeral because her body was released to her next of kin. Of not being able to say goodbye because her parents told the hospital you were not allowed to visit.

Marriage equality is so important.

[gender-under-construction]

Happy Enby Day!

Graphic via San José Public Library (fuck yeah, libraries!).

[cunt-force-therapy]

Wait a minute, who put our day right on top of Bastille Day?

[bettyrightnow]

blogging is too dignified a term for what i’m doing on here

[foodffs]

[foodffs]

SMALL BATCH OATMEAL CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

Really nice recipes. Every hour.

Show me what you cooked!

[nofeelings-things]

[gondwana]

Divorced dads do not wear pants at home. It keeps their pants cleaner.

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[thememedaddy]

[voltaspistol]

[rockergiirl]

yeah sure whatever

[animentality]

[poppyseed-art]

[avatarfandompolice]

Oh great another female character for NATLA to butcher and throw to the side

Sorry…but…um…WHAT ABOUT HER NOT BEING FEMININE MAKES HER LESS “HUMANIZING”??? WHAT???????

If anyone is a Toph fan and is defending this then you’re not a Toph fan. Sorry.

[genderkoolaid]

btw i have seen some people using ''birthday girl'' to refer to transphobic trans women and i Do Not Like That. don't do that shit.

primarily because i think its fucking weird to have catty little insults for trans people we disagree with, even and perhaps especially when we disagree with them over actually harmful things they've done or rhetoric they contribute to. its unhelpful and adds fuel to the fire of emotion-first "my pain justifies being an asshole, if you want me to be kinder you just don't get my suffering" trans infighting, and no matter how good it feels i do not think it is right! it hurts all of us whether directly or indirectly because it contributes to a toxic culture, and it is genuinely poison to organizing socially and politically against patriarchy.

but also, on a practical level (which as a pragmatist i do not think is actually separate from the ethical level), its a bad fucking look! it is weird and shitty that people are so invested in coming up with catty little insults, or just adopting pre-existing slurs, to describe trans people they think are being transmisogynistic instead of just saying they are being transmisogynistic, and i think it is illustrative of the trends prevalent in the "transandrophobia isn't real" sphere that this is a thing people engage in and defend so much. if you agree with that point, you should understand that turning around and calling trans women "birthday girls" weakens that criticism! it makes it look hypocritical and easily written off!

when done right, taking the moral high ground should strengthen your arguments by making it so that people cannot argue you are being cruel or vindictive or bigoted when you make your point. it may be less satisfying but it is all around better for all of us. if you genuinely want there to be less cruelty from trans people towards trans people, you have to take some responsibility for the role you play in that. we all do! if The Discourse is really pissing you off, find ways to process that anger and frustration and pain that don't contribute to the very thing causing them in the first place.

[mossdotjpeg]

[genderkoolaid]

#get peer reviewed#also for fuck's sake do NOT pull out any variation of feminazi.#i've seen it once or twice and if you pull that shit you are being a bigot#incredibly counterproductive and DEEPLY embarassing.#no I don't care what they said to you don't fucking do it.

get peer reviewed x2

never let your opponent dictate what the moral high road is, but that doesn't mean you stop giving a fuck about morality. taking a firm ethical stance on how you engage with other people, especially other oppressed people, will ALWAYS do a million times more for actual liberation than the cathartic mud-slinging ever will. you are hurting everyone when you pull this kind of bullshit.

[subaru-copilot]

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

[aropride]

youre monogamous? oh… it’s ethical, right? ethical monogamy? okay good for you! i mean pretty much every monogamous couple i’ve met didn’t work out but maybe you guys will beat the odds! haha. so is it a sex thing? you guys have sex with- just each other? huh. how does that work? i could never do monogamy, i’m too jealous, i’d worry my partner would leave me for someone else instead of dating us both… how do you deal with the jealousy? is it hard? like, how hard? extremely? do you think you’ll break up? i mean in the long run these things rarely work out,

[houndmother]

Consider: it is the healthiest and most normal thing in the world to go to your close friends and loved ones with problems in your friendships and relationships. Not to gossip, not to talk shit, but I go "Hey, me and (x, not related to my current partners) are on the rocks right now, can I talk it out with you?" and then you get input, advice, you get to process your feelings through conversation, then you're probably more equipped to go back to the person and go "hey I've been thinking and processing, I feel xyz."

Two major thoughts here:

Don't let anyone convince you that this type of conversation should only exist in therapy. Your friends and loved ones are there for you. Its called a support system for a reason. Getting advice and comfort is entirely different from talking shit.

If someone gets upset with you for talking about your interpersonal problems with your friends, its worth examining that dynamic. Why are they so worried other people will find out how they're treating you? This isn't like 100% always a bad thing, but like. Consider if there's other parts of the relationship that feel controlled. Consider how listened to and respected you feel, how safe you feel, how independent and free to act you feel.