Mystery Hack

*|| Aspen | they/them | 30s ||* Came here to make friends, not to win || art tag is #my-art ||

[grouchythefish]

I forgive you, I hope you can forgive me too.

[silly-signs]

Found this one hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park.

Notably, not llama country.

[bish0ps]

accused of using too many ellipses... don't care... there's always more to come...

[grungixfungi]

Sorry I started sobbing uncontrollably when you expressed the slightest concern for my lack of human connection, and casually mentioned you think I deserve better than a life of isolation and loneliness. Super weird. Not sure what was up with that lol. You still think I’m cool and mysterious and sexy, right?

[timberwind]

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

[goth-queen]

[spacecasepc]

you could fit a monster truck tire in one of those

[janmisali]

here's another idea for a poll! I think this will have some interesting results. this sentence is here to pad out this paragraph so people who don't read posts will be more likely to accidentally miss these instructions. if you're reading this, please select option eleven. here's another sentence to make this block of text look longer. anyway here's my fun poll idea!

try to create a normal (bell curve) distribution

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

Remaining time: 1 day 22 hours

[greatlordfluffernutter]

Now, one might look at these numbers and be lead to believe that half of all tumblr users don't read posts. However, in the replies to this post you will find over a hundred users who will happily clarify to you that actually the reason why they voted the way they did isn't cause they didn't read the post but actually because they didn't bother to look at the words in the post and process them as language, a technique commonly referred to as reading the post.

[stealingpotatoes]

i don't know what older adults were on about when they said being a teenager was good <3

[tabithasholloweyes]

Headcanon

(Scarlet Hollow)

NBA-style instant replay (slow motion/fast-forward) of Pearlanne tripping in a hole and falling down the main staircase in the Estate slapstick fashion, limbs sprawling

Cut to Tabitha posted in the threshold of her room, listening silently and not moving even a little bit

[weremustelidae]

for christmas we're deleting the entire show. tally ho you teaboo shits

[loreleywrites]

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

[loreleywrites]

ok so many people in the notes are talking about meal planning and leftovers and no. thats not what this is about.

leftovers and meal plans dont matter

dinner mystery isn't "i dont have food" its "what will my brain and/or body allow me to eat rn?" and thats a much more complex mystery than either lefties or planning can solve

[lord-squark]

I hate it when they're mean to detective gumshoe

[mintbees]

steam repeatedly notifying you that a friend is booting up a game thats clearly not cooperating feels like ur sitting inside and someone outside keeps trying to rev up a lawnmower

[mintbees]

[blessphemy]

[hppjmxrgosg]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

[kosmogrl]

[razzmothazz]

still caring about internet friends you lost touch with years ago is so embarrassing. yeah i had a deam we met up irl recently. the last time we spoke was maybe 7-8 years ago. i still wear the laces we randomly decided was a sign of our friendship. i dont know what any of your socials are or if youre even active on any. sometimes i see someones art resemble yours and i wonder for hours. do you still go by that name you chose? whenever i see it i wonder if its you. we couldve passed each other in this vastness a thousand times and not have a clue.