I'll be posting my experiences as well as accepting submissions. If you have any crazy online dating experiences, or general life experiences you wish to share, submit! Follow! Ask!
Recently, I've heard of a dating app called "Tinder." Now, many of you might have heard of said app, but for those of you who are looking at your screen like "what???" let me give you a short summary. The basis of tinder is easy. You're given a picture of a potential significant other. If you're interested- swipe their picture to the right, if you're not interested and that person appears like some foreign creature who you wish to never lay your eyes on (or so help him)- swipe to the left. If that person swipes right for you- it's a match! And the rest is history.
So I guess I'm here to tell you about the "rest is history" part. Not having much dating experience (I'm talking about zero here) and with much persistence from my friend, I decided, "why not?" and signed up for an account. What's the harm with talking to a few more people, right? Oh boy was I wrong. I think the biggest problem with online dating for people my age or any age for that matter is the uncertainty that comes with it.
This uncertainty comes in two forms:
Who the heck is this person I'm talking to?
What did I do/say wrong?
Now the first type of uncertainty is definitely the scariest. Since you're giving your trust to random people online, who knows what's going on in that other person's mind? They could be absolutely crazy or they might not even the person in their pictures/bio. Who knows?! That's why you should be absolutely careful when agreeing to meet them in person. Always choose to meet in a public (preferably crowded) area. Y'all watch movies right? Nothing goes right when you are WILLING to meet a stranger in private. Heck sometimes it doesn't even go right meeting them in public. But don't let that discourage you from doing your thang.
The second type of uncertainty hits closer to what I've experienced.
Tinder's a matchmaking app, so people on it are looking for relationships, right? Wrong. I've found that most people on tinder aren't looking to be in a relationship but are there to find people that are willing to have quick sex with and then casually go back to being strangers again. Don't get me wrong, not everyone is like that. But come on! I'm here to get to know you, not to get to know every aspect of your body.
For the matches I've gotten that seem absolutely perfect (ex: doesn't flat out ask to have sex/mention sexual activity) our conversations last for a few days and then suddenly I stop getting a response. It's as if they've dropped off the face of the universe. It makes me question, "What did I do wrong? Was it something I said?" Can someone please explain why this always happens to me? Things are going really well, we'll have lots in common, and then BOOM- no more responses. Of course the thought in everyone's mind is: "it's because you wouldn't have sex with them." But I don't think that's the case. It can't be, right?! I mean not everyone is like that. Maybe it's part of the uncertainty. What does the other person want? I tend to take things a bit seriously, but perhaps this is all a joke to that other person.
I try not to be overly attached or crazy so if you don't respond after my second unanswered message, I'm not going to write you anymore. It's as simple as that. But to those perfect matches- I really do wonder, what did I do wrong?
