grumpy disabled feminist @grumpy-disabled-feminist - Tumblr Blog

I wish people would stop believing US ruling class propaganda nonsense about what the lives of poor people in the US are like.

For every person making a half million a year, there are over ten without clean water (and that’s not even counting the 43 million people whose water systems are considered “private” and are not included in EPA water safety laws).

The wealthy eat gold covered donuts while 40% of the US has vitamin deficiencies.

The bizarre nature of the US economic system means that poor people in the US can have a smartphone (under $30) and a choice between 20 different colors of $1 socks but then have no choice but to die of a tooth infection because that costs hundreds of dollars in order to access treatment.

This shit that “nobody starves, doesn’t have running water, has untreated parasitical diseases, etc. in the US” is flat out nonsense. And I can’t imagine how these beliefs could withstand any actual extended contact with poor communities in the US unless someone was intentionally refusing to acknowledge what was right in front of their eyes.

survivaltillacure

No sleep for the chronically ill

minga2glo-deactivated20160127

Those of you with migraines or chronic illness, don’t you get bored with replying “fine”? Here are some alternatives…

it-is-ok-i-am-ok

Even when I go to a doctor’s office because for a specific reason because I’m in pain, I’m still so used to saying, “Fine” that I say it even to them. Even when I’ve gone in with a boot cast, or when I came in in screaming pain.

LOL spoonie life~

goosewithajob

See also:

I’ve been worse

The same way I feel every day, Pinky

All my limbs are still attached, which is nice

I haven’t daydreamed about ripping my (spine/arm/leg/head) off yet today, so that’s good

The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

Still haven’t gotten my Hogwarts letter, which sucks

I’m not dead yet! (in a Monty Python voice)

Asymmetrical, but in a purposeful, artsy way, not like I just can’t center things

Not great, but the desire to scream bloody murder has lessened somewhat

I feel like that one part of Bohemian Rhapsody- you know, that one?

Like I spent the night roaming the countryside feasting on unsuspecting victims who didn’t sit quite well in my stomach

Like I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee

Slightly better than a hungover college kid who just remembered they have finals today

I saw (animal) so that’s always nice

Alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright!

greedlingtheavaricious

Hi umm can you like or reblog this if you believe that invisible illnesses (chronic Lyme, other tick-born infections, autoimmune diseases, chronic pain, etc.) actually exist?

I’m going to write all of your urls down to prove a point to my neurologist, who thinks everything — including my seizures — is in my head, and that my diagnosis is “a bunch of malarkey”.

chronic-adventures

Please please please reblog

goosewithajob

Who the fuck gives these kind of people doctorates? How do they possibly qualify?

latenightpanic

mavwren

Let’s get one thing fucking straight

The Las Vegas shooter was not mentally ill

He planned this out

Picked the weapon

Picked the event

Picked the hotel

Picked the room

He knew damn well what he was doing

He is sane

And he is a fucking monster

Stop trying to humanize him

Stop dragging those that actually suffer with mental illness under the bus

Stop acting like we’re the problem with gun violence

Stop IGNORING how this monster LEGALLY got his hands on 17 semi automatic machine gun –modified them to make them automatic– then got enough ammo to kill 59 people and injure over 510 more

Stop letting people say that this isn’t about gun control

Stop tolerating the bullshit because it’s the easier thing to do

Start speaking the fuck up because you don’t know when you’ll end up watching people die around you just because you went out to have some fun

thestoicgod

He gambled on average $10,000/day for almost two weeks with one day blowing $30,000.

He was an accountant by trade: methodical, meticulous.

He had a net worth of just over $2M.

He followed all the “rules” in buying guns.

Criminal profilers across all divisions of law enforcement are “…stumped. He fits no known profile.” Yes. Yes, he does. You people just don’t want to admit it. But at least CNN did this morning: White men.

what do other people have against subtitles? like bitch,.. my ears are Not Friends with my brain, let me have my captions

entitledrichpeople

Reminder that high medical costs are mostly due to rich people making profits off of healthcare, not due to how much resources are needed for patient care. Not that anyone should be deemed “too expensive” to live and to have access to a good life even if it were down to resources, just a reminder that somehow we are seen as “too expensive” for existing as disabled people instead of people looking at medical costs and acknowledging it’s the ruling class that is too expensive and a drain on society. Stop giving more moral weight to their profits than to our lives.

thetownwitches

i don’t like texting because it fosters this idea that we have to be accessible to others and to interaction 24/7??? stop that!!! if im not texting back, it’s not bc i i hate you, it’s because im just chilling, ok? and interacting is draining. i don’t think every person should have to be accessible to everyone that has their number literally every second of every day. stop apologizing for not texting back “on time.” do you, live ya life on your own time okay????

stayspectacular

YES!! THISS

surfeit-of-stoats

Laziness: I’d rather sit here than pick up those clothes

Executive Dysfunction: I need to pick up those clothes I need to pick up those clothes why am I still watching this thing on Netflix while sitting down c’mon stand up I need to pick up those clothes I need to pick up those clothes I need to-

violent-darts

The Kind Of Actual Pathology-of-Motivation Associated With Major Depressive Disorder*: I know I need to pick up those clothes, and if I don’t pick up those clothes my quality of life will continue to decline, and theoretically the consequences of picking up those clothes are ones I don’t want, and if I don’t pick up those clothes they will get wrinkled and dirty again and I won’t have clean clothes to wear, but my life is an undifferentiated mass of grey and despite knowing all of these things I cannot actually make myself fucking care I will just stay here and stare at the clothes while Netflix plays until it stops. And tell myself how fucking lazy, stupid and useless I am because if I weren’t I would realize that I need to pick up those clothes and make myself do it. This is totally fine.

[yes, this is actually separate from executive dysfunction; it’s also a symptom of illness, a potentially really serious one, and tends to spring from complications due to anhedonia, or lack of the ability to experience positive stimuli] [it is also often COMORBID - that is, happening at the same time - with executive dysfunction]

warpedellipsis

Can you expand on how “i just can’t care” is different from “lazy”? Is it the internal ability to care, that it’s just lacking, whereas with laziness you have the capacity to do the thing, you just choose not to. I’m having trouble with cementing the actual explanation. Laziness is a values thing and the rest is a base-functionality thing?

violent-darts

In terms of what I meant, the crux there is cannot make myself.

Say I’m being lazy with my afternoon, and someone I know comes in and says, “You need to stop being lazy and do the thing, or Bad Consequence will happen.” And the consequence is genuinely bad.

For instance, say I’m Not Cleaning the Kitchen and someone comes to me and says, “You need to clean the kitchen or you’re going to get ants”. And they’re even right.

If I’m being lazy, and I agree that now that I think about it, ants aren’t good, I don’t want ants, I kick my own ass, get up and clean the kitchen. This is based on the ability of my brain to literally experience a Reward, a Positive State, from having a cleaner kitchen and not having ants.

If I’m having catastrophic anhedonic motivation failure? That doesn’t work. It’s not that I want to stay on the couch more than I don’t want to have ants. It’s that I can’t make myself care about EITHER state because it’s all fucking horrible. Nothing gets better. I might as well fucking have ants. I deserve ants. Look at me I can’t even fucking keep my kitchen clean I don’t even WANT my kitchen clean obviously since I’m still lying here so fuck it, I’ll just lie here and have ants. Oh look now I have ants. Isn’t that fantastic proof of how fucking awful I am.

Of course the entire thing is usually not that articulated in the brain, you know? This whole thing is an example. Usually it’s more like:

Laziness: … meh put away clothes later. Executive Dysfunction: *want to put away clothes* *constantly stall on the initial cognitive step of How To Put Away Clothes* *get more and more distressed/stressed about not putting away clothes* *keep stalling* *cry* Anhedonic Lack of Motivation: *lie there. stare at clothes. know clothes should probably go away. can even think of whole set of steps to put away clothes.* *cannot fucking feel anything about putting away clothes* *stalls out forever in pit of ‘why do i even fucking bother i should lie here and rot’* *uses fact that clothes have not been put away as evidence*

But the original form is pithier and has better rhythm.

warpedellipsis

So, it looks the same to a third party, but it feels/behaves differently on the inside

violent-darts

Well yes. They ALL look the same to a third party, at least casually - that’s the point.

If you know the person it’s pretty easy to see the difference (the general aura of misery and disinterest in anything else in the universe is a big hint).

da-staplerthief

This is something I wish was more widely understood. Executive dysfunction has become known about in my irl circles and while there’s definitely one or two for which this a problem most of the rest seem to use it as an explanation for the symptoms of unmanaged depression. As a society we are really bad at recognising the flat, empty, grey gaping maw that eats time and quietly lets us ruin our lives through neglectful apathy. Because that’s laziness, right? So I can understand wanting an explanation that doesn’t relegate blame. The problem is the most easily accessible, without further stigma (eg. depression as a moral failing) is an incorrect one, and genuinely unhelpful. Not the same strategies to address, plus depression can use more brain broken to feed to ifs narrative of I Hate You.

violent-darts

I mean: executive dysfunction is also a symptom of depression, and like I noted they’re often very much comorbid. I have had whole periods where what made my life fall apart was the total demise of my executive function.

But yes, executive dysfunction and anhedonic lack of motivation are actually different things, and they also require different things to fix.

And gods yeah, I think that the way that anhedonia - the actual impairment or destruction of your ability to experience positive emotions and stimulus - is something that needs way, way more attention, w/r/t how it works and how it affects your ability to function.

phantoms-lair

Another thing to drive home the difference to people who just want to paint it as lazy. It affects fun things as well.

Laziness: It’s more fun to play video games then do laundry

Executive Dysfunction: I literally have nothing that needs to get done since I did my laundry yesterday and I’ve been wanting to play this video game. I just need to turn on the system. It’s only a foot away. Any time. I’m totally going to do this. Oh, it’s been six hours and it’s time for bed

Anhedonia: There’s no point to playing a game or doing laundry. Nothing will bring joy and satisfaction.

surfeit-of-stoats

Laziness: I’d rather sit here than pick up those clothes

Executive Dysfunction: I need to pick up those clothes I need to pick up those clothes why am I still watching this thing on Netflix while sitting down c’mon stand up I need to pick up those clothes I need to pick up those clothes I need to-

violent-darts

The Kind Of Actual Pathology-of-Motivation Associated With Major Depressive Disorder*: I know I need to pick up those clothes, and if I don’t pick up those clothes my quality of life will continue to decline, and theoretically the consequences of picking up those clothes are ones I don’t want, and if I don’t pick up those clothes they will get wrinkled and dirty again and I won’t have clean clothes to wear, but my life is an undifferentiated mass of grey and despite knowing all of these things I cannot actually make myself fucking care I will just stay here and stare at the clothes while Netflix plays until it stops. And tell myself how fucking lazy, stupid and useless I am because if I weren’t I would realize that I need to pick up those clothes and make myself do it. This is totally fine.

[yes, this is actually separate from executive dysfunction; it’s also a symptom of illness, a potentially really serious one, and tends to spring from complications due to anhedonia, or lack of the ability to experience positive stimuli] [it is also often COMORBID - that is, happening at the same time - with executive dysfunction]

warpedellipsis

Can you expand on how “i just can’t care” is different from “lazy”? Is it the internal ability to care, that it’s just lacking, whereas with laziness you have the capacity to do the thing, you just choose not to. I’m having trouble with cementing the actual explanation. Laziness is a values thing and the rest is a base-functionality thing?

violent-darts

In terms of what I meant, the crux there is cannot make myself.

Say I’m being lazy with my afternoon, and someone I know comes in and says, “You need to stop being lazy and do the thing, or Bad Consequence will happen.” And the consequence is genuinely bad.

For instance, say I’m Not Cleaning the Kitchen and someone comes to me and says, “You need to clean the kitchen or you’re going to get ants”. And they’re even right.

If I’m being lazy, and I agree that now that I think about it, ants aren’t good, I don’t want ants, I kick my own ass, get up and clean the kitchen. This is based on the ability of my brain to literally experience a Reward, a Positive State, from having a cleaner kitchen and not having ants.

If I’m having catastrophic anhedonic motivation failure? That doesn’t work. It’s not that I want to stay on the couch more than I don’t want to have ants. It’s that I can’t make myself care about EITHER state because it’s all fucking horrible. Nothing gets better. I might as well fucking have ants. I deserve ants. Look at me I can’t even fucking keep my kitchen clean I don’t even WANT my kitchen clean obviously since I’m still lying here so fuck it, I’ll just lie here and have ants. Oh look now I have ants. Isn’t that fantastic proof of how fucking awful I am.

Of course the entire thing is usually not that articulated in the brain, you know? This whole thing is an example. Usually it’s more like:

Laziness: … meh put away clothes later. Executive Dysfunction: *want to put away clothes* *constantly stall on the initial cognitive step of How To Put Away Clothes* *get more and more distressed/stressed about not putting away clothes* *keep stalling* *cry* Anhedonic Lack of Motivation: *lie there. stare at clothes. know clothes should probably go away. can even think of whole set of steps to put away clothes.* *cannot fucking feel anything about putting away clothes* *stalls out forever in pit of ‘why do i even fucking bother i should lie here and rot’* *uses fact that clothes have not been put away as evidence*

But the original form is pithier and has better rhythm.

warpedellipsis

So, it looks the same to a third party, but it feels/behaves differently on the inside

violent-darts

Well yes. They ALL look the same to a third party, at least casually - that’s the point.

If you know the person it’s pretty easy to see the difference (the general aura of misery and disinterest in anything else in the universe is a big hint).

da-staplerthief

This is something I wish was more widely understood. Executive dysfunction has become known about in my irl circles and while there’s definitely one or two for which this a problem most of the rest seem to use it as an explanation for the symptoms of unmanaged depression. As a society we are really bad at recognising the flat, empty, grey gaping maw that eats time and quietly lets us ruin our lives through neglectful apathy. Because that’s laziness, right? So I can understand wanting an explanation that doesn’t relegate blame. The problem is the most easily accessible, without further stigma (eg. depression as a moral failing) is an incorrect one, and genuinely unhelpful. Not the same strategies to address, plus depression can use more brain broken to feed to ifs narrative of I Hate You.

violent-darts

I mean: executive dysfunction is also a symptom of depression, and like I noted they’re often very much comorbid. I have had whole periods where what made my life fall apart was the total demise of my executive function.

But yes, executive dysfunction and anhedonic lack of motivation are actually different things, and they also require different things to fix.

And gods yeah, I think that the way that anhedonia - the actual impairment or destruction of your ability to experience positive emotions and stimulus - is something that needs way, way more attention, w/r/t how it works and how it affects your ability to function.

phantoms-lair

Another thing to drive home the difference to people who just want to paint it as lazy. It affects fun things as well.

Laziness: It’s more fun to play video games then do laundry

Executive Dysfunction: I literally have nothing that needs to get done since I did my laundry yesterday and I’ve been wanting to play this video game. I just need to turn on the system. It’s only a foot away. Any time. I’m totally going to do this. Oh, it’s been six hours and it’s time for bed

Anhedonia: There’s no point to playing a game or doing laundry. Nothing will bring joy and satisfaction.

dwibatron

Okay, everybody, I don’t talk much on here but this is important and I can’t find any other posts about it here.

There’s a little app called Be My Eyes. It’s been on iPhone for a while now and on October 5th, it’ll be out for Android too.

What is Be My Eyes, you might wonder? Well, it’s a community of people helping people. Namely, sighted people helping blind people with simple tasks that require sight to be simple.

See the picture?

(for those who can’t see, the picture shows the app I’m action. It shows a phone camera pointed at two red cans of food. Text above depicts a sighted person explaining the right can is a can of tamatoes.)

In short, if you’re blind and have every had trouble finding your blue shirt, the app was made for you.

If your sighted and want to help, the app is for you too.

If you’re not, reblog and spread this so more people can see.

Thank you for reading and reblogging.

livebloggingmydescentintomadness

please do not support the puzzle piece symbol for autism.

This is fairly common knowledge among autistics, but I wanted to make a quick post explaining this for everyone.

This is an example of how it’s used:

[image description: an awareness ribbon with red, yellow, and blue puzzle design]

The puzzle piece is meant to symbolize that autism is “puzzling”, that it is a “mystery”, and that autistics have a “missing piece” in comparison to allistic (non-autistic) people. Put like that, you can probably see why we find it offensive. We are normal people who do not need to be “cured” or “fixed”, and we’d be a lot less “puzzling” if people just treated us like human beings with different needs. Autism becomes a lot less of a mystery if you listen to what autistics have to say.

It’s also the symbol of Autism Speaks, which we consider to be a hate group who shamelessly promotes and condones the abuse of autistic children. Their focus is “curing” the “disease” of autism to “get our children back”.

We don’t need a cure. We need acceptance.

A much better option is the neurodiversity symbol.

[image description: an infinity symbol in rainbow colors]

This design is not entirely specific to autism, but autism is what it most commonly represents, and it is meant to celebrate natural human variation, rather than labeling us an “other” to be “made normal”. The neurodiversity movement is about autistic self-advocacy, and about us being accepted as we are instead of being told there’s something wrong with us.

I don’t mean to make anyone feel bad if they’ve supported the puzzle piece symbol in the past, because I’m sure you thought you were genuinely being supportive. You didn’t do anything wrong in being misled. All I want to do is correct that misinformation so you can know better in the future.

If you’re interested in doing some more reading, you can browse my autism tag, or you can read from here and here.

potsiespoons

[Drawing of a stick-figure guy staring down at a stick-figure girl, who is lying face-down in the ground. Above them are the words, “POTS Problem #44: Self-doubt!” The guy says, “Whoa, Vanessa, you okay?” The girl replies, “I thought that if I just tried harder I could do the thing. I was wrong.”]

Sometimes your brain will attempt to convince you that you’re not trying hard enough–that you don’t want it enough–that it’s all your fault. But I will tell you a secret: sometimes your brain is wrong.