This thursday, 18/06/2026, at around 17:15, my cat Duke passed away via euthanasia.
He had feline HIV, or Feline Immunodeficiency Virus. We knew he was infected from the get go when we adopted him, since it was the reason why his original owners abandoned him, they didn't want to deal with his expensive vet visits + expensive specialized cat food + having to be constantly monitoring his health (He required a lot of attention to any potential signs that he needed to go to the vet)
Duke was found as a freshly adult cat, already neutered, in a really really bad condition. He was emaciated, anemic to the pint of life threatening, he had a lot of problems in his stomach/liver, and with crystals in his urine. His foster mother asked us to take care of him and his medical expenses (as she was already taking care of two other cats that needed medical attention) while she looked for his owners. She looked for 8 months, (posters,facebook posts, texting, asking mouth to mouth) but Dukes previous owners never came. Duke was an expensive cat breed, a Norwegian Forest Cat, and we live in a very very very small town, its bizzare that the owners never came.
Since Duke was already neutered before reaching maturity, its unlikely that he was infected with FIV by his own, besides the fact that he was a very lazy and non-confrontational cat, getting FIV via fighting was also off the table. Sadly, its more likely that Duke's mother became infected, and passed down the FIV to her children. Him being a breed cat and neutered was already a sign that he came from a "breeder" (in quotations, because these people aren't safe and respectable breeders, THIS isnt a job, this is animal abuse.)
We knew from the start that he might not live long. Some cats with FIV live normal long lives, some dont. Duke lived 8 for years. He should have lived for nearly 20, but he didnt.
I miss him. I hate that hes not here, that ill never hear his meows again, or kiss his forehead again, of press my face in his stomach again. He was the only cat that adored getting his belly rubbed, he'd always plop on the floor and beg anybody that came near for a belly rub.
He slept right next to my pillow, often using the pillow as a head rest, and if i was facing his way, he'd put his lil fluffy paw on top of mine.
He had the cutest lil pink nose, that he'd scrunch in disgust at anything that displeased him. He was such a snob, a real primadonna, it always made me laugh so much. I joked with my mom and sibling that he was such a primadonna because he knew that he was gorgeous, so anything but the best wasnt enough for him.
I pampered him, kissed him, and told him every single day that i loved him with all my heart. He was always the highlight of my day.
In the car outside of the vet, i held him at shoulder height, so that he could look out the window while i petted him. I could see his little pupils following the birds and the trees, and i could feel his purring on my hands. I know that cats purr when theyre scared, i know that, but it was still a purr, i could still feel my baby purring for the last time, even if it was because he was scared.
He drifted away in my arms. Im so grateful for our vet, she let me had all the time that i needed to kiss him and hug him and look into his precious golden eyes and say goodbye.
I hate this so much. I miss him so much. He was so small on my arms in the ride back.
I do not regret adopting him, not in the least. Chronically sick or elderly cats deserve to have a happy life, no matter how long the have left. If i knew exactly how much time i'd have with him, I'd choose to adopt him, over and over again.
To my baby boy, what a privilege it was to have you in my life. Thank you for everything that you've done for me. If theres truly something after life, then my soul rest peacefully knowing that youre now able to walk and run again, that youre rid of the pain and discomfort. That youll never have to go through anything bad ever again. Thank you for being in my life. Theres a black cat named Mystery, that will be there to guide you and take care of you like she did for me. You'll recognize Mystery quickly, since she will accompanied by a familiar face, Mora, your old playmate. Mora its going to be so happy to see you again, and she'll be able to play and run with you so much now.
I love you, and I'll see you all one day.
Adopt, Dont Buy. All pets deserve a happy life, no matter how long they have left. It was a privilege to have Duke in my life, and the sadness that i feel now doesnt even come close to the happiness that he brought to my life.
