I Don't Know

Just me being me! they them pronouns/ Capricorn/27/ USA/ Not much else to know about me!!!

[3000s]

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

[3000s]

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

[rosewind2007]

Remember children—this tactic is really annoying to the police, so YOU SHOULD NOT become floppy—it’s frustrating to them and makes them look bad and is a waste of resources and no one wants that…

[tarragonthedragon]

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Every summer I forget how much I fucking love spiders I’ve drunk one every day this week

[goblinwithblankets]

Drinking spiders??!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

You put ice cream in a glass and pour soft drink over it. It creates a thick layer of delicious foam on top of a sweet, creamy drink with ice cream in it.

And yes I did attempt to get a picture by googling “Australia spider” like a fucking moron.

[thecybird-deactivated20250228]

I think that’s called a float in the states. Although we usually plop the icecream into the glass after the soda. Similar effect though.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

We wouldn’t be able to call it that because the word is way too easy to confuse with a floater, which is a meat pie floating in a bowl of pea soup. It is every bit as delicious as a spider though. I should get some pies and pea soup.

[kitstacean]

I would like to announce that this is not a standard Australian food, it’s exclusively a South Australian one and the rest of Australia is just as appalled as the rest of the world.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It’s not our fault that the rest of Australia is incorrect about food.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#WE HAVE SPIDERS IN AOTEAROA and they serve CUNT#im gonna steal ice cream from work this weekend and make spiders with it. i will steal the fizzy from work also#i fucking hate my boss 

Living your best life I see

[blatantescapism]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in South Australia and BADLY misinterpreted our survey question,,

[mariaalenkoshepard]

[ladyelainehilfur]

real paramedic x golden retriever firefighter AU energy with this

[beanytuesday]

Animal Crackers for Zoologists

[herpsandbirds]

Harpy Eagle (Harpia harpyja), family Accipitridae, order Accipitriformes, Colombia

photograph by Nancy Elwood

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you are now a cat in the warrior cats universe! Spin these wheels for your name!

Do you like it?

YES!!!

yes

eh it's okay

no.

IM MOON MOON

results/other

Remaining time: 5 days 13 hours

note: I (the owner of this blog and maker of wheels) am not into warrior cats! I just thought this would be fun to make

(prefixes and suffixes from @yarrowleef)

[angrychicagoan24]

NO. THIS CANT HAVE FUCKING HAPPENED TO ME NO

[bgm05]

Went outside and saw a bat flying around. Then i saw a toad in the yard. Straight up like a witch’s brew out there . Stay safe

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah I saw the lovecraftian horrors and didn’t succumb to madness. What- no I’m not a cultist, James. For Christ’s sake. What you’re forgetting my friend is that HP Lovecraft wasn’t a flexible man. His brain simply wasn’t stretchy enough to take it all in. I however, have short term memory issues. Flexibility is the name of the game when you can’t remember if you ate lunch or not. What’s the size of the universe? Big. You knew that already, James. Come on now. You don’t need to witness the terrifying ocean at the base of the entirety of reality itself to know that. Pass the brandy.

[what-even-is-thiss]

You must imagine the character I’ve created here wearing a suit and a monocle, by the way.

[thesilvertophat]

During a Eldritch Horrors based tabletop RPG my character was a young dandy who wasn't particularly interested in all this monster mystery stuff but his father (my brother's character) was a researcher who WAS very into it, so Bertie went along to make sure the old man didn't get into too much trouble. It was your average Eldritch Horrors RPG in that you don't make your characters with the expectation that they will survive for very long, both the game itself and the genre are very intent on turning your characters inside out, driving them insane, and blowing them up in no particular order.

The thing was, everything in this nightmare hellscape just seemed to keep coming up Bertie because the man was too stupid to realize what genre he was in. Every time he had to roll for a sanity check whenever he saw something crazy, the dice treated him so well that he just... didn't get it. Gee that sure is a funny costume. There's something wrong with that dog. These mean guys in stupid hats are trying to hurt that young lady, we can't have that! I had not built him this way, his intelligence stats weren't even that bad, random chance just made it so that this man was living a scooby doo adventure while everyone else was being consumed by The Horrors. The final straw was at the end of an adventure when Bertie escaped from the cultist headquarters by breaking out through the mansion's front window on a motorcycle with a hot rescued sacrificial maiden clinging to his back and leading the cultists on a merry chase through the hedge maze while the other adventurers escaped. His sanity score? HIGHER than when the adventure had begun. He had found the whole experience quite thrilling and felt very good about life in general! Bertie retired from adventuring to marry the maiden he rescued and care for his aging father and delight and bemuse his friends at the gentleman's club with stories of his 'wacky' adventures. I didn't want to risk breaking his ridiculous lucky streak.

[clayorey]

So many herbs, so little thyme

[sirdiskscratch-deactivated20150]

im really mad at you for making that pun

but thank u

[i-cant-think-of-anything-to-say]

hunting down Tumblr posts i see on Pinterest part 758

[myfootyrthroat]

"It was just a joke!"

Sure. It also wasn't very funny and it bombed. And now you have to deal with that.

[myfootyrthroat]

"You can't even tell a joke anymore!?"

You can and you did. And people can react to it. Here we are.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Relatedly, this is one of my pet peeves about people who use shock humour

Shock humour only works because there's a high risk of failure. The idea is that you are saying something socially shocking - something that your audience knows is "wrong" to say. It winds your audience's emotions up tight, like a spring, so that they have to 'release' into a response.

You're hoping that response will be laughter, to break the tension. Often it is. The "I cannot believe you just said that" reaction. A famous internet example is "I also choose this guy's dead wife".

But, it very well might unwind the other way, into visceral rejection, and you have to be okay with that. It was only funny because of the risk of failure! You can't throw a fit about it if it does, in fact, fail

[headspace-hotel]

*grabs your hand earnestly* we're going to a place with 930 leeches per square foot. it's called...Illinois

[headspace-hotel]

https://www.twincities.com/2016/08/08/wisconsin-mans-prosthetic-leg-found-in-beaver-dam/

Wisconsin man’s prosthetic leg found in beaver dam

WABENO, Wis. — A Wisconsin man has his prosthetic leg back after the lost limb was discovered sticking out of a beaver dam by two canoers. E

today on “here’s a funny little patch of internet, absolutely do not ask me how I got here”

[inlandwest]

[ketrinadrawsalot]

Gen 4: Cretaceous Park

[guineapigfluff]

I'm feeling sad about Sheepity Beepity. I went to get her a transmission fluid change, and it turns out that her transmission is a closed system. Meaning that once her filters are clogged, that's it. It's either a new transmission or a new car.