i’m still here…

Slowly recovering MDD & c-ptsd girlie

[greeniery]

no matter how terrible everything gets i will always have sitting on the bathroom floor

[gumforlunch]

Never mind, I’m just going to kill myself. How many painkillers do I have to take for it to kill me? Do I have enough? I’m not sure. I hope I do. I need to leave. I need to leave and kill myself. Maybe if I go to the park. First I have to buy something to harm myself with, then I have to leave. Leave and maybe if I feel better after harming myself I won’t need to kill myself. But maybe killing my self is the right option. Who knows.

[gumforlunch]

Time for a relapse baby! I hate myself so much I should’ve bought razor blades when I was in the dollar store earlier today but I didn’t. He doesn’t understand me, the person who’s supposed to get me the most in the world, he doesn’t get me in fact he just rubbed salt further into the wound. If everyone hates me, that’s fine. I deserve it. I deserve to suffer. Clearly I do. Clearly I do. Clearly I do. I have no money. No nothing. What does it fucking matter man.

[gumforlunch]

Maybe I’m not cut out for this after all

[digitaldeathx-deactivated202605]

self-awareness check, list five things you like that aren't media pieces in the tags now ‼️

[captainsugarbomb]

Lo and behold, my dearest comrades! My old sketch with Joshua which I did a long long time ago. But I’ve grown fond of it since then and still love it

[lacquerheadd]

hold your breath and just wait, someone else will pay for your sins.

[lacquerheadd]

Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones…

[noah-wyles]

all i want for 2026 is that gigantic rancid AI bubble to finally burst in such a catastrophic way that the consequences will be so good and i'll never have to see another AI generated image ever again

[gumforlunch]

I am not fine, but my partner is doing way worse right now so time for that to take a backseat

[gumforlunch]

Kind of miss the control I felt during an ED, but then again I’m so grumpy when hungry

[gumforlunch]

Would be so fun to relapse into an ED once uni starts omg hilarious

[dooandpoo]

STINKY BABY

(and a wild heart eyes howell appears)

[gumforlunch]

Scratches

Butterfly scratches

Tickle down my back

Light the matches

No going black

There’s a hole in my nail

I put it there

Trying to speak in braille

Communicate the wear & tear

Walked so long that

Legs give out

Pus goes splat

Bodily drought

Observation deck

The forest floor

A nervous wreck

Wanders yore

All the creatures are shrieking

But she’s not speaking

[kosmogrl]

september was practice… in october I’m getting my shit together

[kosmogrl]

in november I'm getting my shit together

[gumforlunch]

I tried

Its calls run deep

A dread that grows

Even while I sleep

The fear simply knows

I don’t want to get better

But do I want to get worse?

Do I return to her?

Will this be my curse?

A momentary tingle

Of high pitched pain

blood begins to mingle

it twirls down the drain

A cheap box cutter

But it shall do

Blood won’t splatter

A new go-to

Another day another relapse

Check out my new tracks

[gumforlunch]

I’m so stupid. I’m such an idiot. I wish I could kill myself. I’m an idiot. Such an idiot. I wish I was wearing black. I wish I didn’t exist. If I was wearing black then I could just rub all this snot off and not be concerned. Not to mention makeup. I got all dressed up to give myself confidence and then it just gets destroyed like this. This is gonna be in my nightmares rotation for sure. I’m so stupid, I’m so so stupid. I wish I didn’t exist. I’m so dumb. I hate myself. I hate hate hate myself. I need to self harm or something. Remind myself I’m an idiot. Fuck. I’m so embarrassed. I don’t want any of my friends to know. I swear to god if it happens again I’m gonna collapse in tears and just slit my wrists right there. I need to stop crying, I’m gonna have to leave this area eventually. I just don’t wanna be here. How do I stop crying. Or do I just say fuck it and go out crying. I should go to the bathroom. Contain my crying enough so I can go piss girl, blow my nose, wash my face a bit, then go to the dollar store and buy a nice blade, and gum and makeup remover. Or maybe I won’t need makeup remover, I don’t know. I wish I smoked, I could use a good cigarette right now. Or a good bump of cocaine- just any drug to numb the pain. He was so nice, I don’t deserve it. I want to kill myself.