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i actually talk to people for once, and suddenly i'm certain everyone is planning to leave me.
[image description: meme with an image of a bleeding soldier, on fire, holding his arms out in protection of a sleeping child, as the soldier takes all the weapons flying towards them in his own back, keeping the child safe. The weapons flying towards the soldier are labelled, “unhealthy coping mechanisms”. The soldier is labelled “dissociation”. And the sleeping child is labelled “wow I’m functioning so well!! I’m so stable!!!1!”]
My husband just asked me why I can’t just be mentally ill like the rest of us. Why do I have to be physically ill, too?
And honestly, same
Making anxious journal pages
so sad and lonely these days. steddie is the only cure.
i hate you. i love you. i'll never stop loving you. this love burns through me worse than anger and i am so damn angry. i want to tear the flesh from your bones to have you feel a fraction of the pain of what it is to miss you. i miss you all the time. i didn't think i could love you so much and hate myself for loving you. i hated you too and yet i never did. i miss you. i miss you. come back to me. come back to me. please. i'm seconds away from writing a letter, from spilling your ink-stained name on paper and on skin. please come back to me. it feels like death. i feel like death. come back and soothe this anger at this loss. why did i leave you? why did i leave when i loved you, why did you? love me. love me. don't leave me again. please be happy without me but for the love of god come back. i want to kill the love i have for you but i just can't.