𝓓𝓮𝓷

❝𝐵𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑘𝑢 𝑏𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑎𝑚 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑢𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑢 𝑡𝑒𝑡𝑎𝑝 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑢𝑙𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑘𝑖 𝑘𝑒𝑑𝑢𝑎 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑎 𝑖𝑛𝑖 𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑝𝑒𝑗𝑎𝑚.❞

[gumpalankertas]

Have you ever been trapped in emptiness? Like, everything around you cannot affect your own feelings. And you don't even know how to react after being surrounded by, either happiness or sadness. As a human, is it normal to feel that way?

— den

[lipikkawrites]

If life can remove people you never dreamt of losing, it can replace them with someone you never dreamt of having.

-@lipikkawrites

[gumpalankertas]

You always see me as a quiet girl. Until today, you never know that there were a lot of things I really wanted to tell you because my words would instantly tangle in my head, then hang in my eyes as I looked into yours. I could even hear my heartbeat speaking louder than my own lips but it was all silent as if your ears won't let them to reach your heart. And once again, I became the quiet girl you think I always be, just like them.

— den

[gumpalankertas]

Remember when I gave you a 3 seconds hug? Gosh, I bet you'd forgotten every little thing, which keeps the urge of me to not run away from you. Anyway, I hate the fact that it makes me really want to go back in time and give you more than just a butterfly perched on its flowers. But only this time, I let you win.

— den

[gumpalankertas]

Aku suka keheningan itu. Keheningan ketika hanya ada aku dan kamu di ruang kelas yang sama setelah sekolah usai, setelah pertengkaran kecil kita yang seperti kucing dan tikus di hari itu benar-benar selesai. Kamu di ujung kelas, dan aku yang berdiri di dekat pintu. Jarak antara sepatumu dan milikku bagaikan jeda yang sejenak membiarkan kita untuk saling merasakan bahwa aku dan kamu memang memiliki irama jantung yang sama. Yang tersampaikan dengan begitu jelas dan lantang melalui hening yang bahkan tak bergema. Damai, rasanya sangat damai setelah suara kita yang penuh benci puas bertubrukan seharian itu. Benci terhadap satu sama lain sekaligus diri sendiri karena tak mau mengakui buncahan rasa yang menggelitik ini. Saat itu, anehnya hanya kita yang tahu. Hanya aku dan kamu yang sama-sama mengerti tentang perasaan itu sebelum pulang membeban rindu, tak sabar mengecup Senin untuk segera bertemu.

— dari aku, yang pernah membenci hari Minggu, di penghujung Sabtu.

[gumpalankertas]

Still waiting for him to sing Taylor Swift's Afterglow in front of me even though it was just a dream because he never generously took away his knife that stabbed a little girl inside me, who has always wished for freedom and a happy ending, for fucking years. He scattered me like pieces of paper, watching us go from enemies to lovers and then to enemies again. I hate the way he can stop his rain even after locking me up in an endless war of heartbreak but I never let him win this game. I will find my own fire that can burn my heart—brighter than his smile, hotter than his gaze, and longer than forever.

— den

[gumpalankertas]

One day, I will find my home. My freedom.

— den

[gumpalankertas]

aku selalu terikat dengan jalan yang kalian buat. aku tidak pernah diajarkan untuk mengambil resiko dalam menentukan sebuah pilihan. kalian bahkan membuatku yakin bahwa semua keputusanku akan terus berujung penyesalan. tanpa sadar, kalian telah merampas keberanian gadis cilik yang sedari dulu mendambakan kebebasan. gadis yang kini tumbuh tanpa berhenti memimpikan laut, langit, dan hamparan rumput hijau yang lapang dalam kegelapan di sudut kamarnya sendiri.

p.s. bapak, ibu, tumbuhkan kembali sayap-sayapku.

— den

[gumpalankertas]

I look on flowers that will never bloom in the garden of my heart. And I can't help these flowers only have the chance to when I'm reading a book in my comfiest space—my own bedroom. So, there's an unanswered question lingering my head: "Whose cheeks that will get blushed reading the lines of my poetry before going to sleep every night, making them all a lullaby that leads me into a dream he never wants to wake up from?"

— den

[gumpalankertas]

you take my crown

when i fall to the ground.

and now you're the king

in a pool of my blood.

i see the blade in your hand

reflects a devil's deadly grin.

but how can you look so beautiful

dressed in that sin?

— den

[academia-cafe]

"But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for." - Mr. Keating

[sajaksesak]

Aku terkadang masih merasa takut orang-orang yang terpatri denganku tiba-tiba melantun pergi.

Jadi aku giat tahan pintu keluar itu. Biar mereka lihat-lihat dahulu, sedang ku perlahan angkat tanganku. Bersiap melambai ketika kutemukan punggung-punggung itu membelakangiku.

Lihat,

kataku.

Aku tahu kau akan pergi juga.

Arief Aumar Purwanto

[mochacinogirl]

Apparently, This is Love

It's funny how every love songs suddenly remind me of you. Taylor Swift said he's so tall and handsome as hell while Tulus said maafkan aku jatuh suka. And all I can remember is you; your face, your smile, your eyes. It's kinda strange for me to suddenly smile like an idiot whenever someone say your name. I can't even explain why my terrible day feels better just a second after I see your name pop up in my notification.

It's miraculous how you always make me happy in a simplest way. I still remember it was a tiring day for me. Fifth semester was hard. My day was not going so well until you text me, "Let's eat sushi :)"

I can't hide my smile and reply your text, "Sureee!"

I don't eat sushi. But, how can I say no when it's my chance to see and spending my time with you?

"I'll pick you up at 5 :D" Oh, now you didn't just smile. You grin. I like that.

So, I just starring at you while you were eating sushi. I love the way your eyes twinkle when you eat the best sushi in this town (according to you). I love the way you clapped your hands when you finished all meal. You look so happy and it was contagious. I giggled to see you act like a child.

Then we went to the ground floor to buy my favorite J.Co cookies and cream frappe. The ground floor was so crowded because there was a meet and greet event. You held my hand and it feels electrical in my skin (not in literal way. I just surprised with your sudden gesture).

"I don't wanna lose you. It's too crowded. You may be lose and kidnapped by freaky strager," you said, a half mocking me.

I supposed to mad at you. But I just tried my best to act cool in front of you when my heart beat so fast like it could explode right at this moment. I didn't say anything and held back your hand tightly.

It feels like that day never could been better. But, I was wrong because you let me eat your free glazzy doughnut just because you know how much I love it. No one share their glazzy doughnut to me before because it's definitely everyone's favourite--just like McD chicken skin.

"It's the best part of ordering beverage here, you know? You can't share your free glazzy doughnut to anyone!" I refused.

You pat my head. You make me fool and have to act cool for thousands time, "I give the best part to the best person. It's fair, I think."

So, apparently, this is what people called love. This is how it feels to have butterflies in stomach. So dumb and absurd.

[gumpalankertas]

When will all the flowers in my heart bloom?

— den

[gumpalankertas]

No, you don't love me. It's just a curiousity.

— den

[gumpalankertas]

Hampir genap enam tahun lamanya, potretmu masih saja tampak begitu nyata. Kau hempas cerita lama yang semakin menua dalam bingkai-bingkai kenangan masa muda. Mengapa dulu kau selalu mengusik diamku? Menyambung garis takdir yang tak seharusnya bertemu. Rona wajahku yang berdalihkan amarah palsu bahkan tak cukup mampu untuk mengusirmu. Namun kini, kau rampas senang dan menghilang. Rajutan puisiku pun gagal menuntunmu pulang. Dan pada akhirnya, kita hanyalah sepotong memori usang yang sejauh mungkin ingin kau buang.

— den

[thoughtkick]

“One day it just clicks… You realise what is important and what isn’t, you learn to care less about what other people think of you and care more about what you think of yourself. You realise how far you have come and you remember thinking that things were such a mess they’d never recover and then you smile. You smile because you’re truly proud of the person you have fought to become.”

— Unknown