Worlds Sleepiest Guy

they/he/she — ao3 @eatingbooks

[puckwanger]

— dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

[knifefightscene]

[lilylikeswords]

@heatonice I have no self restraint and too much free time. I apologise...

[sillyimage]

x

[i-suggest-poly]

I have a suggestion

[isuggestswiftmarketregulation]

I also have a suggestion

[i-suggest-poly]

I think I'm in love with you

[guys-im-literally-spiderman]

In 50 years i’m gonna go crazy for the Trump Bible the same way middle aged men yearn to collect WWII propaganda

[freezethismoment]

saw a post that said shane is the most Boy to ever boy and i love that so much. he is so Boy.

and now i’m thinking about how he loves to be romantic and chivalrous to ilya— like when they get to the cottage and shane carries ilya’s bag in. he’s a great Boyfriend(husband.) he holds the door for ilya every chance he gets, and ilya (not so) secretly Looooooves it. when they’re at the bar with their team, shane will ask ilya if he wants a drink and go get it for him, hands it off to ilya with a little here you go, baby and then sits at a stool at the bar and ilya leans back between shane’s legs. at team cookouts, shane will tug on ilya’s arm as he’s talking to people until he’s sitting in his lap and ilya will go willingly without even pausing his conversation. shane will grin and wrap his arms around ilya’s stomach, kiss his shoulder. when they’re out to dinner and the bill comes shane will put his card down and ilya will make it a big thing, like oh thank you shane you’re sooo sweet and shane will be like ah it’s no trouble baby (they have a shared bank account.) he loves taking care of his baby!!!!!!! there’s been a rare time or two where shane and ilya are at a club and shane will let go and have a few drinks, get wonderfully tipsy and ilya will drag him out to dance. shane will hold ilya’s hips as ilya dances against him.

this doesn’t really connect to shane is such a Boy. anyway shane is such a Boy who loves taking care of his ilya

[lucylehane]

"The sex tells the story, so it never felt gratuitous to me. The sex is character development. The sex is what is moving this relationship forward, and watching it change over time."

Jacob Tierney on It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[swagsmeister]

mother's day 3/3

[medrawawi]

❤️❤️!!

[remusfruitloopin]

Sirius calls it 'fucking'

Remus calls it 'shagging'

James calls it 'doing it'

Peter calls it yazoinking/sha-bamming/boinking/Skoodilypooping/going capital B beast mode/boom-baya-boom-bala/'really-in-depth-secret-handshakes'/woohooing/scary

[projectloon]

I’m still so fucking salty about 9-1-1: Lonestar getting cancelled. I’m still 50/50 on Nashville. original recipe (9-1-1) is PISSING ME OFF. (Buddie canon never atp). I want Tarlos and Tommy and Paul and everyone back NOW.

[gaylizardpersonn]

9-1-1 writing staff: okay so we’ve got all of the plots for all of the characters for the finale done! We’ve just got Eddie left!

Tim Minear: ughhhh okayyy um… just rip off his shirt and cover his tits in blood

9-1-1 writing staff: ummm are you sure we shouldn’t write something more substantial for him?

Tim Minear: Cover. Those. Tiddies. In. Blood.

[animentality]

[needyilyarights]

Sameteam!au where Shane and Ilya are both young and stuck on a team with a god awful losing streak and one night while drowning their sorrows they drunkenly hook up and the next day the team plays incredibly and they win. The very superstitious veteran captain insists that everyone repeats everything they did the night before so Shane and Ilya hook up again and they win again and they keep hooking up and winning and now the team has a complete turn around season and maybe a chance at playoffs but oops uh oh now they also have feelings for each other

[cuntessa-lestat]

Tim stealing everything from buddie fanfics except the buddie fucking part

[argillaforma]

shane: 🧍🏻‍♂️

ilya: hollander i need to fuck you so bad it’s not even funny

[guys-im-literally-spiderman]

watching 9x17 PRETTY SURE I READ THIS IN A FANFICTION

Tim Minesr has nothing on ao3