This is basically what my physical therapist had me do for my back problems last year and it helped with the pain so much! Also walk for at least thirty minutes a day, even if it's just in small chunks throughout the day.
I think "fuck you, I hate your work and I will do it myself and I will do it better" is a really funny and epic sentiment. i started publishing poetry because an ex boyfriend of mine was publishing really ass poetry in a bunch of journals and I was like "Jesus christ, this is garbage, I could do that, and I could do it better." now I have a page in the Academy of American Poets and I've published a full length collection and his website says "former poet." You should win by succeeding way harder than they do. Spite is a legitimate energy source.
lemons/limes (this needs to make up the bulk of the fruit being used, like at least 80%)
whatever other fruits or fruit scraps you want, plus any herbs/other flavorings you want to try. by fruit scraps I mean things like cherry pits, apple peels, pineapple cores, strawberry ends, things like that.
granulated white sugar, the coarser the better, 50% by weight of total citrus rinds + 100% by weight of any additional fruit. you'll measure this after you prep the fruit.
water as needed
equipment:
a few nonmetallic mixing bowls
a mesh strainer
a chinoise, ricer or some cheesecloth
a kitchen scale
a citrus juicer or reamer (manual or electric)
a potato masher
juice the citrus through a strainer - saving all rinds - and refrigerate the juice for the time being. dice the rinds and other fruits if any, keeping the rinds separate. make note of weights, and measure your sugar.
Place sugar in a large nonmetallic bowl. If using non-citrus fruits and/or any other flavorings, mix them in with the sugar and mash with potato masher. add diced citrus rinds, mix thoroughly, and mash again. cover and let stand at room temperature for at least 4 hours. this allows the sugar to draw out flavors that would otherwise get discarded with the rinds, and the rinds' acids should be enough to dissolve the sugar into a syrup.
Afterward, mash one last time, then collect the syrup by pressing the macerated mixture through a strainer/chinoise or ricer, or squeeze it through cheesecloth. if you want, this can be saved as a standalone syrup at this point, for use in cocktails or desserts. if not, slowly pour the reserved juice through the solids to to help get the remaining syrup out, and squeeze/press again. do the same thing one more time with warm water (roughly the same amount of water as juice). discard solids (or try making sangria with them!).
taste the mixture and add more water if necessary. a stronger mix is totally fine if you anticipate serving over ice on a hot day, or adding booze, or if there was a lot of non-sour fruit. keep in mind that it will taste a bit less sweet once it's chilled. pour into a pitcher and refrigerate.
citrus oils will float to the top, so stir/shake before serving. love you. enjoy.
some tried and true flavor combos:
straight lemon or lime, or any combination of the two, is of course an untouchable classic
lemon & strawberries (that's pussy babe!)
lemon & orange with a hint of vanilla (creamsiclemonade...?)
lemon & apples or apple peels with cinnamon/ginger/allspice (for late summer)
some cocktail type combos, booze optional:
lemon or lime & berries with basil + gin
lime & mint + white rum
lime & ginger + dark rum
lime & cucumber + gin
lime & orange (berries optional) + tequila
lemon, orange & cherry + brandy, bourbon, or rye whiskey
In no scenario of my life would I ever be able to envision myself having the energy to do all of this but damn it sounds amazing.
I saved it in my draft folder in case I wake up one day with the energy to macerate fruit and sugar through a cheesecloth or ricer (neither of which I own).
Crawling out of my hole to remind people that with this current update to Firefox (version 144) they've gone and dumped in their lot with a buncha lil AI tools, namely Perplexity as a new search engine.
So if the sound of that leaves your mouth tasting of tar, here's what you want to do:
In the url bar, type in about:config
It'll give you a big scary warning page that you might poke holes in your browser. Good. You want to do that. Click continue.
One by one, you're going to need to put each of these into the search bar in the page, not up top:
Each of these are gonna have a lil toggle icon on the right hand side that looks like a funky double-ended arrow. Click that and the value next to it should change to false. It all auto saves as you go. Some of these might already be set to false by default and that's peachy.
The next best thing you can do for yourself is to set your default search engine to udm14 or Qwant, but for now, we're just tidying the garden a lil bit.
Yeah I did this with my phone company and they were like ‘we can’t cut the price but we can give you an extra 25GB of data for free every month use this magic code’ so I was like aight that’ll do
This weird song and dance---in which you call a service provider, threaten to cancel for a competitor, and they arbitrarily lower your price to keep your business---is as old as the Deep Magicke. It doesn't make any sense, it feels like a waste of time... but it fucking works.
My spouse does this every couple years with our internet provider (he's better at playing chicken with customer service types than I am). It's utterly ridiculous, and it shouldn't work this way. Yet it does!
More tips:
Businesses Will Happily Give You HUGE Discounts if You Ask This Magic Question
“Charlie Kirk did not deserve to be assassinated, but I’m overwhelmed seeing the flags of the United States of America at half-staff calling this nation to honor and venerate a man who was an unapologetic racist.”
– Pastor Howard-John Wesley, Alfred Street Baptist Church
Considering a big purchase? Competitive bargain hunter? Just trying to save money? Here's everything you need to know about buying stuff.
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need To Know About Buying Stuff for Cheap
How to pay for stuff
Buy Now Pay Later Apps: That Old Predatory Lending by a Crappy New Name
Businesses Will Happily Give You HUGE Discounts if You Ask This Magic Question
Dafuq Is a Down Payment? And Why Do You Need One to Buy Stuff?
Ask the Bitches: Should I Get a Loan Even Though I Can Afford To Pay Cash?
Season 2, Episode 10: “Which Is Smarter: Getting a Loan? or Saving up to Pay Cash?”
How to pay less for stuff
Why Name Brand Products Are Beneath You: The Honor and Glory of Buying Generic
How To Save Money With Affordable Car Repairs
How to Save Money on Your Beloved Pets
How to Get DIRT CHEAP Pet Medication, Without a Prescription
The Pink Tax, or: How I Learned To Love Smelling Like Bearglove
Blood Money: Menstrual Products for Surviving Your Period While Poor
Understand the Hidden Costs of Travel and Avoid Them Like the Plague
7 Totally Reasonable Ways To Save Money on Cheap Entertainment
How to buy stuff ethically
Ethical Consumption: How to Pollute the Planet and Exploit Labor Slightly Less
Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Consume Ethically AND Frugally Under the Trump Tariffs?”
21 Ideas for Sustainable Swaps That Aren’t Shitty, Expensive, Greenwashed Garbage
Fast Fashion: Why It’s Fucking up the World and How To Avoid It
You Are Above Bottled Water, You Elegant Land Mermaid
Kara Perez’s Debut Book “Green Money”: How To Use Your Money To Save the Planet
Wallet Activism: Using Your Money for Good with Author Tanja Hester
How Can I Justify This Deeply Unethical Purchase?
How to buy stuff secondhand
Almost Everything Can Be Purchased Secondhand
Our 5 Best Secrets for Secondhand Shopping Like a Frugal Warrior
The Library Is a Magical Place and You Should Fucking Go There
Your Library Lets You Stream Audiobooks and eBooks FOR FREEEEEEE!
How to buy big ticket items
Bullshit Reasons Not to Buy a House: Refuted
Season 2, Episode 2: “I’m Not Ready to Buy a House—But How Do I *Get Ready* to Get Ready?”
How to Pay Hospital Bills When You’re Flat Broke
Our (Ridiculously Simple) Method for Choosing the Right Healthcare Plan For You
Buying a Car with the Bitches, Part 1: How to Choose Your Car
Buying a Car with the Bitches, Part 2: How to Pay for Your Car
The Only Advice You’ll Ever Need for a Cheap-Ass Wedding
You Deserve Cheap, Fake Jewelry… Just Like Coco Chanel
How To Pay for College Without Selling Your Soul to the Devil
Splurging on Kids: When It Works, and When It Doesn’t
How to buy gifts
The Anti-Consumerist Gift Guide: I Have No Gift to Bring, Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum
How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-giving Expectations?
In Defense of Shameless Regifting
Traditional Wedding Gifts Can Burn in Hell Where They Belong
Other People’s Weddings Don’t Have to Make You Broke
How to buy food
To Hell and Back for Cheap Groceries: The Epic Investigation (and Shocking Results) of My Grocery Store Price Comparison Quest
How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss
Cosmic Truths of Cheap Grocery Shopping: 12 Universal Rules to Save Money on Food, No Matter What You Buy or Where You Shop
The Ultimate Showdown: Cheese Crackers, Ranked
If You Can’t Afford to Tip 20%, You Can’t Afford To Dine Out
We Ranked Chocolate Sandwich Cookies by Taste and Price So You Don’t Have To
Confessions of a Thanksgiving Lunatic: Why I Spend $500 Hosting Every Year
How to avoid buying stuff
How to Avoid Lifestyle Inflation … and When to Embrace It
The Magically Frugal Power of Patience
Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool
Status Symbols Are Pointless and Dumb
Here’s What to Do With Those Credit Card Pre-approval Offers You Get in the Mail
Your Yearly Free Medical Care Checklist
How to COMPLETELY Insulate Yourself From Advertisements
6 Proven Tactics for Avoiding Emotional Impulse Spending
The Subscription Box Craze and the Mindlessness of Wasteful Spending
Everything I Know About Minimalism I Learned from the Zombie Apocalypse
That’s all for now, bitchlings! We’ll periodically update this list as we post new content. In the meantime, if you’d like to support our mission of [checks notes] scathing reportage and dank memes, donate to Bitches Get Riches on Patreon or PayPal with the buttons below!
if you use Firefox, there's an extension called ClearURLs that removes a lot of these automatically, or you can paste in any messy URL and it'll clean it for you
Femme Fatale Guide: How To Reduce Social Anxiety To Boost Your Confidence, Make Friends, & Become Magnetic
Some practical tips to reframe your thoughts going into social settings to help you boost your confidence and step into your power. Here's how to hold your own in every conversation, connect with anyone, and use the art of seduction, influence, and charm to become a social magnet to level up in every area of life.
HOW TO MANAGE SOCIAL ANXIETY:
Everyone Is Self-Conscious: Remember that, like yourself, everyone is more focused on (and critical of) how they’re presenting themselves and their actions, not yours. People care too much about how they look to overanalyze what you do. They often forget most (if not all) of the things you say in a casual conversation by the next day. Realizing that we all are too self-focused to really care about the small things others do or say is freeing. This reminder can help calm your nerves and reframe the situation to ease anxiety when you start to worry about what others are thinking of you in a social setting or during a conversation.
Prioritize Self-Presentation: Consider how confident you feel with your actions and self-presentation when interacting with others before worrying about their impressions of you. Focus on how you can show up as your best self when engaging in social activities and conversations. People notice when others like and feel comfortable with themselves. This quality is attractive to others and will make them feel more at ease when speaking to you. Interactions flow better when your conversation partner is relaxed, so finding ways to stay calm when speaking makes it easier to manage social anxiety. Allow your self-assurance to speak for itself. This ability to hold your own will radiate through your words, tonality, delivery, and mannerisms during any conversation. Simply put – People like others who already like themselves. Who you attract into your circle reflects the person you've decided to be.
Listen. More than you speak: This tip kills two birds with one stone – it allows you to sit back without worrying about what you need to say while allowing the other person to feel heard. The easiest way to be well-liked is to give people the space to share their thoughts, have them be valued, and feel understood. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Practice active listening to increase your charm. Use the information you uncover to drive the conversation. You don't necessarily need to be chatty or extroverted to be charismatic (more on this point later).
TIPS FOR SOCIALIZING & MAKING FRIENDS:
Get Curious To Connect: Follow-up questions are your best friend if you get nervous and anticipate a wave of social anxiety. These questions have a dual benefit: You’re allowing others to indulge in subjects or experiences that resonate with them and helping to guide the conversation. Listen to ways that you can branch off into related topics, mutual interests, and shared emotions or experiences. Ask relevant questions to keep the conversation flowing and demonstrates your interest and desire to connect with the other person. There’s no quality more charming than making others feel special and understood. This interpersonal skill allows you to connect with others without feeling like you need to fill up air time or be more vulnerable than you’re comfortable. It can be especially helpful to remember this advice when conversing with a stranger, authority figure, or someone else you want to impress without looking inferior (teacher, boss, industry leader, partner’s parents, etc.).
Read & Develop Interests/Opinions: Expanding your knowledge base provides an entry point to more people, engaging conversations, and opportunities. It’s easier to speak to people when you have some understanding of relevant topics others are discussing around the table or are of interest to the person in front of you. Take time to read about and study topics you’re interested in. Stay on top of cultural topics (movies, music, books, TV shows, etc.) and news within your chosen industry (or one you’re hoping to break into), different destinations you’ve been to or want to go to, favorite products, etc. Develop some robust opinions (don’t share those on hot-button topics like politics and religion) on these subjects and current events. Having the ability to listen to others' perspectives on a topic with an understanding of the subject matter and dive further into the topic with a distinct POV makes for an engaging conversation (and a potential new connection).
Learn The Art of The Follow-Up: If you hit it off with someone, exchange contact information (social media, phone number, email – depending on the context of the situation and level of initial connection). Send them a relevant message at some point over the next few days to stay connected. Try something related to the conversation – like an article on a topic you discussed, or a recommendation for a coffee shop in the area. Or, get more personal if you’re comfortable, and ask how a meeting went, if they ended up liking a certain show, movie, or book, or whether they want to grab lunch at that place they mentioned they love. Remain thoughtful and interested without looking desperate. People want to know others are thinking about them as long you’re not obsessive.
BEING EXTROVERTED VS. SOCIABLE:
Extroversion vs. introversion is about how you recharge. You can’t change this part of your nature. For some people, being around others for too long makes them feel exhausted no matter how comfortable they feel in the situation or enjoy the company. As an extroverted introvert, I’ve noticed that learning to be sociable is the key to connecting with others – even if you realize mid-conversation that you might need a week of reading a book in bed to bounce back from attending a couple of events.
Learn how to present yourself with relaxed, open body language. Smile, and make eye contact (but not too much). Speak slowly and carefully with pauses, so your conversation partner latches on to every word and is intrigued to hear more. Use your tone of voice to communicate the emotion behind your words. Ensure the other person is done speaking before responding. Nod your head to acknowledge the person’s talking points and show they’re heard. Laugh at the correct times to bond and share your sense of humor. Shake their hand firmly. Wave and hug goodbye (when appropriate).
Bought my uncle a burger and milkshake in exchange for letting me disrupt the holiest day of the week, NFL Sunday Football, so I could install a Pi-hole and free the household of ads...the thing abt the specific boomers I live with is they told me not to trust people on the Internet but they do not understand the algorithm or online advertising and think that Facebook has their best interests at heart. And every time I have tried to explain to them that no, blorbo from my dashboard is not selling my kidneys on the dark web but Google from your capitalism is definitely selling your web searches to every advertising company on the planet, they think I am paranoid. How could their personal friend Mark Zuckerberg want anything bad to happen to them etc. I am fighting battles I did not know existed!!!
Update I have had Pi-Hole successfully installed for two (2) hours and have since learned that 40% of the web traffic in this household went to advertisements. FORTY FUCKING PERCENT. We live in hell. This is the greatest gift I have ever given my family that they will not understand or acknowledge or feel any gratitude for.
Update #2: it was rising all night but the number it finally settled on was...60%. 60% of the web traffic in this household went to advertisements. I can't tell if this high number is bc I live in Silicon Valley and probably am subject to the Algorithmic Internet in ways people outside of Silicon Valley are not or it is normal to have 2/3rds of your web traffic be ads, but it did make me set up a recurring donation of the EFF lmfao.
Okay I have had multiple people ask, so here are the useful websites that me and Beryl used to muddle our way through:
Using Pi-hole and Raspberry Pi (on the Raspberry Pi website, really good overview of what Pi-hole does)
Tumblr-archived Twitter thread about one household's experience with Pi-hole (this is what sold me on it. Also the tweets were published in 2022 and Pi-hole is actively being developed, so I think some of the teething problems he mentioned might have cleared up or are at least being addressed.)
Pi-hole website (gives broad strokes of the software and imho is not actually that helpful, however this proves that I am not making shit up)
Pi-hole documentation (read prerequisites carefully, you do NOT need the newest model of Raspberry Pi to run this thing!! You don't even need a Raspberry Pi at all, you can run it on a bunch of Linux systems however I'm very stupid when it comes to Linux and when my options are install and learn a whole ass new OS or spend $$ on a Raspberry Pi and hook it up to my TV with a wired mouse and keyboard I will unfortunately be spending money)
Privacy International's guide to setting up Pi-hole on a Raspberry Pi (bro this one saved our asses)
You guys can ask me questions if you want but I guarantee I will not know the answers bc I don't know shit about fuck, I just followed the directions and reaped the rewards. It did take us 2 hours to set up bc I'm bad at following directions (and it's kind of complicated if you've been out of the software game for a while like I have), and you do have to be sososo brave about fucking around with your internet provider's configuration. So make sure you eat before you do it!! However it has been so worth it for me so far, given that now all my devices at home are running faster and I'm not seeing any ads while web browsing. We will see what complaints my family comes up with, but I love it so far.
Also!! if you've never heard of Raspberry Pi, which I realize are not all of my followers are lost in the Silicon Valley sauce so you might not have, here's is their website and their page for using Raspberry Pi at home.
(And here is the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a nonprofit that fights for digital privacy, free speech, and innovation, if you, like me, were presented with cold hard data about your personal internet usage and suddenly realized that our internet is fully a dystopia. haha.)
After a few months with pi-hole, I recently switched to AdGuard Home. It was recommended/is co-promoted in a pi-hole discord server, and it seems to be blocking a bit more successfully/consistently for me than the pi-hole did.
I also use Blokada on my phone when I'm not home and have the Windscribe browser extension which includes 10GB of free VPN traffic and has uBlock integrated into it. (AdGuard does technically make things that do this but I like those better; ymmv).
It all takes some setup and tinkering, but I highly, highly recommend taking steps to clear out some of the internet garbage and protect your info.