Burnout By Day, Lover By Night

27 | 5’7 CW: ??? HW: 182 UGW: 110 | New York, USA https://onlyfans.com/madi_13 I don’t know how to talk about the rabbit hole without accidentally inviting you to follow me down it

[evilnicegirl]

what they dont tell you about those little hand baskets in the grocery store is if you put enough things in them they get heavy

[aurol]

i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot

[yms1]

actually tumblr should pay ME for sticking around this long

[sikvybz]

for fucking real I’ve gone thru 6 separate stages of character development on this blog

[perrfectly]

[sophiedaisy]

[feral-ballad]

Claire C. Holland, from I Am Not Your Final Girl: Poems; “Ginger”

[Text ID: “I got cursed, in every way a / woman can. / You kill yourself, over and over, / to be different.”]

[dmrphn]

I came close over and over. I’ve died a little a million times.

[der-eremitw]

The thing about opioides is, they dont feel like drugs. They feel like friends, family, lovers. It feels as natural as sinking into sleep under a warm blanket after a stressing day. No comedown no hangover. And when the cravings start, its not like alcohol, cigs, coke - a pure craving for the high itselfe. Its like missing someone, feeling alone. Quiting feels like loosing someone you love.

Its like Burroughs wrote in 'Junky': 'You can not avoid the feeling that junk is in some way alive.'.

[dmrphn]

This is so real. Plus, the withdrawals feel like they‘re alive as well. A sinsister monster always waiting in your shadow. Heroin withdrawal is like going through hell, and you‘ll go through the starting symptoms 2-3 times a day if you don’t got more stuff ready every 8 hours/can‘t use because of work/family/are trying to space out using as much as possible so your tolerance doesn‘t rise and you have to use more every few days to stay well. At the very least you‘ll wake up in withdrawal everyday though, even if you used right before going to bed. So the withdrawal will remind you to take more, and then the harsh contrast when you use your first dose of the day, when you‘re suddenly well again. It‘s impossible to describe. I‘ve often thought that this feeling is better (or worse) than the actual high, it’s the real devil. It’s the reason why I can‘t stop. That and what op described.

[velvet--c0ffin]

[resqectable]

“We’re afraid others will see our flaws, weaknesses and insecurities. We’re afraid if others really knew us, they would reject us. We feel like fakes and frauds in a world that seems to have it all together.”

— Dave Earley

[bitterswtdvll]

[hannoufff]

keep it real or keep your distance

[thequotespot]

“I stopped missing people who only showed up when it was convenient.”

[traumasurvivors]

People love to say “At least you survived” as if survival erases the cost. Survival can be painful. Survival can be complicated. Survival can come with grief. You do not owe anyone gratitude for experiences that broke you open. Your feelings about what happened are valid.

[ilovesleeping136]

:(

[perrfectly]

“I like how sleeping next to someone means more than sex sometimes, the body’s way of saying ‘I trust you to be by my side at my most vulnerable time,’ you have no defenses when you are asleep, you tell no lies”

— Eric Shaw

[sylvanslut]

[h0m1cid3]

hi i’ve been mia for a while but im 4 months sober from heroin and fentanyl 🫶🏻