"Professional" Adult @ha-nice-joke - Tumblr Blog

ode-on-a-grecian-butt

art by @niochemblyat

ode-on-a-grecian-butt

I always know its getting toasty out in the world because girls start reblogging this post like crazy

#me after working next to ovens all day #at least i smell like chocolate muffins #(and sweat)

risenshiney

Paint’n studies I did on my Wii U gamepad earlier in the year.

sony-official

on your what

tiktoks-for-dead-pope

2-point-5

i like being a lesbian and all, but holy shit, men are so cool. i hope all men reading this have a wonderful day.

basilpaste

i like being gay and all, but holy shit, women are so cool!!!! i hope all women reading this have a wonderful day as well!!!!!!!!!

2-point-5

[image description: the epic handshake meme. one arm is labelled gay people and the other is labelled lesbians. in the middle it says "fuck yeah bro". end id]

2-point-5

hey guys, quick reminder! this post is about uplifting other people!!! tags like 'ugh, but men are gross lol' or 'op has never met a man' are not welcome and will recieve an insta block! men are cool! women are cool! thank you for coming to my fucking ted talk! :-)

twistcmyk

mortified

boo-topia

Pride

ltwilliammowett

The Danish training ship “Georg Stage” (1934) dresses in rainbow colour, 2021

dragon-in-a-fez

not the kind of gay ship I’m used to seeing on tumblr but cool

dubiousculturalartifact

ship georg is an outlier but SHOULD be counted

cozyrogue

the "rip ___ you would have loved ___" meme is inherently more fun with ancient characters. rip clytemnestra you would have loved morse code. rip theseus you would have loved the airtag. rip callisto you would have loved wearing shorts.

newsiesiswhyimhere

rip Icarus you would have loved parachutes

theunsubtleknife

Sci-fi short stories are so efficient; they take 15 minutes to read and then you think about them for the next 5 years

bonediggercharleston

Hey guys, what if *puts the most horrifying mindblowing concept into your head with about 15 pages*

broken-horn-of-equius

#so many #soooo so many #Harrison Bergeron #There Will Come Soft Rains #honestly even blurbs from larger books #like grapes of wrath #holy fuck iykyk

mewnosodenwyma

perhats

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

powerbottombrucespringsteen

butimnotasexyrussian

Reading the replies is giving me anxiety. Listen to me, children, if you are in the US and your company offers a 401k or some other sort of retirement benefit, get in on that shit. I believe most companies will do some sort of match, so for example, if you put in 3% of your paycheck into the 401k, the company will also put in 3% on their end, which means you're getting 6% a year in your retirement fund (not including any stock market gains or losses, which historically has been an average of about +7% a year, even factoring in the years it crashed). Even my grocery store job (ily unions) and the shitty temp agency I worked for for 2 weeks without a college degree offered a 401k. However, if you do not work for a place that offers a 401k, you can sign up for an IRA (individual retirement account) or Roth IRA through a brokerage firm. Mine is through Fidelity.

I didn't think I'd make it past my 20s either, but you know what? Maybe one day you'll wake up and realize damn, I'm 30/40/50. It's easier to put away even $5 a month now and leave it alone to compound interest than it is to wake up one day realizing you're in your 60s and have saved nothing for the future. (Obviously if you can put away more, do.)

And if you do die young, you can name a beneficiary (family, friends, a nonprofit, etc.) for the money you've accumulated in that 401k. This is a good primer. (Shout out to investopedia, which saved my ass more times than I can count in college.)

I also recommend @bitchesgetriches, who are great at explaining financial advice in an easy to understand way.

It's not too late. Better late than never.

bitchesgetriches

Thanks for the shoutout, baby. You're absolutely right: it's never too late to start saving for the future. Even if you think that future is an apocalyptic nightmare landscape, I promise you'll still be better off going into that shitstorm with money. When bad stuff happens, it is always the poorest, most marginalized people who are hurt the most. So if nothing else, prepping for a wealthy future will put you in a position to help others. We talk about that more here:

Season 5, Episode 1: “Why Save for Retirement When the World Is on Fire?”