started on may 3rd 2024: 03/03/24
last updated on april 9th 2026: 09/04/26
total works: 4
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≡;- ꒰ ° masterlist ꒱
i write for...
⚘ nct
⚘ enhypen
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. ˚◞♡ limits & boundaries + extra *ೃ༄
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⚘ i don't write any form of sexual content, like smut or suggestive, i may change that in the future, however at the moment im not too inclined to . i also dont do member x member. if i feel uncomfortable with any request, i will most likely not write it nor acknowledge it.
⚘ i usually write for female readers, however in most cases i can do gender neutral, especially if requested.
⚘ everything concerning likes, reblogs , comments and follows are greatly appreciated
✿ ───── in which , eom seonghyeon was bet a hundred that he can’t bag a date. unfortunately for you, you became that very date of his, unaware that you were only asked out because of the stupid bet.
first post #hopeidontflop && ik this is really long, but i didn’t want to make too many parts. so hopefully just a part 2 and then that’s that !! oh n ik this seems long but when you read, the actual plot lwk rushed 😅😅 mb for that
⚘ eom seonghyeon
ft. CORTIS, ILLIT Minju and Iroha, KATSEYE Yoonchae
synopsis: your boyfriend and friends decided to throw you a surprise birthday party ! but why are you feeling left out and isolated from your friends and boyfriend ?
GENRE. social media AU, established relationship, angst, crack, fluff
⚘ eom seonghyeon
ft. CORTIS, ILLIT Minju and Iroha, KATSEYE Yoonchae
synopsis: your boyfriend and friends decided to throw you a surprise birthday party ! but why are you feeling left out and isolated from your friends and boyfriend ?
GENRE. social media AU, established relationship, angst, crack, fluff
summary: you and jungwon grew close over time, with unspoken feelings between you. after his messy breakup, caused in part by his ex’s insecurity about you, he almost confessed but backed out and asked you to be his fake girlfriend for prom instead. thinking he didn’t truly want you, you agreed anyway, hoping it was the closest you’d get to being with him.
pairing ✧˚ · . yang jungwon x reader
genre ! established friendship, fluff and angst, arguments, miscommunication, cheating and infidelity
friends to lovers! word count: 2524
part 2
AUTHORS NOTE:: back from insane hiatus, let me know if this was okay since its been so long since ive written anything, and it feels a bit messy
senior year was supposed to be unforgettable, for you at least, prom, boyfriends, talking stages, liberated from the grip of the overwhelming academic pressures to graduate and land a scholarship at a worthy university up to your parents' standards.
you thought you had it all, an amazing friend group, friendships you cherished till the day you die, a best friend, good grades, and you were happy. everything you thought you ever wanted was there, but the more you dwelled on this feeling in your gut, the more uneasy you felt, and time was running out. you had everything right? but why did it feel like something so immense, a want, a need for something or someone so grand you cant shake it off, youre yearning for something you cant seem to put a finger on and its driving you insane.
"y/n?" there it is, the soft melodic voice of your best friend jungwon, lulles you out of your reeling thoughts, "hm?"
"thought we lost you for a second" he giggled, and you turned to see your entire friendgroup looking at you with slight concern, you dismissed the lingering looks, "sorry, just thinking about something", you replied, your head leaning against yoonchae's shoulder for support.
"probably worrying about a prom date huh" jake snickered, looking softly at jungwon, then back at you.
ah yes, prom. one week away, and you still had no plan, no date, nothing. it bothered you more than you wanted to admit. this was your last year, your last chance to make something out of it, and the idea of letting it pass by uneventfully sat heavy in your chest.
"ill figure it out eventually, unless some degenerate wants to take me" you snort.
It earned a few laughs, and just like that, the attention shifted, the table was quiet for a moment and this time toward Jungwon. there was something in the way everyone looked at him, like they were holding onto a joke you weren’t fully in on.
“speaking of dates,” sunghoon added casually, “what about your ex?”
the mood shifted, subtle but noticeable. you noticed the way yoonchae shifted uncomfortably in her seat, nudging you accidentally, and niki throwing an unreadable look at sunghoon.
you didn’t say anything, but you felt it, that weird yet familiar tension that always boiled over whenever she was mentioned. hana. she had never liked you, not really from what you saw and heard. even during their short three-month relationship, your name had come up more times than it should have. not because jungwon meant anything by it, at least, that’s what you told yourself, but because you were always there. his best friend. his constant.
“she’s still trying, you know,” hoon mentioned. “to get back together.”
jungwon scoffed, shaking his head. “i don’t care what she’s doing,” he said flatly, final. the rest of the table nodded in agreement, almost like they knew not to mention it again.
you glanced at him briefly. he’d never told you why they broke up, not really, nor did he ever even really talked about his relationship with her. and you’d never asked, you didnt feel like you needed to. that was just how things worked between you. no pressure, no pushing. whatever existed between you stayed unspoken, tucked neatly beneath the surface where it couldn’t ruin anything.
it felt easier that way.it was calm. safe. comfortable.
but lately, it didn’t feel as simple.
jungwon leaned forward slightly, resting his arms on the table, he had this look, he was thinking about something before he spoke up again, “hey y/n, can i pull you aside for a sec”
there was a pause. and you nodded slowly.
you stood up to follow him, as yoonchae looked up at you now standing, "whats up?"
"ill be right back, ill meet you in class" you say as you give her a tight shoulder squeeze and slung your bag on your shoulder. the group didnt pay attention, and hadnt really realized you and jungwon departed from the table, as the conversation swiftly changed to what color their suits and ties would be as yoonchae scoffed at the thought of jake pulling up to prom in a neon orange bow tie.
the walk with jungwon was silent, while he steadily guided you down the hall where less students would be hanging around since everyone was either in the field or in the cafeteria.
"youve been oddly quiet lately" you broke the silence, looking up at him with a slight smile, "ive been thinking about something.. and i need to know if youre okay with it" he replied
the further you two walked, the quieter it got, and the gap between you and jungwon closed, hands ever so slightly touching. you zeroed in on him, your full attention on him, like he was the only person that mattered and the world stopped spinning, time moved slower and you were at peace.
your conversations were always so soft, so endearing, you could talk about whatever, wherever for hours on end and it never seemed too much.
he never wanted you to stop talking, he would sit there and listen, eyes on you, unwavering, whatever the topic of your conversation was, he was all ears and invested, and vice versa.
but when things needed to be quiet, and you both needed the time to just sit and relax, side by side, in silence doing whatever, it was calm and tranquille, you both understood each other in a way that you felt that no one else in the world could. he needed you just as much as you needed him.
however, when he got into a relationship with hana, things between you two slowly came to a halt, not abruptly and it wasnt sudden, you knew why and you never felt wronged for it.
you spent less time alone together, and mainly talked and caught up over text or when you were with friends.
it lasted 3 months the relationship, your friends often gave you these looks that you could never figure out what they meant, you continued living out the year just as you normally would, but with less jungwon and more your friends, yoonchae stayed by your side and you were thankful.
life continued on, things were normal, you would tell yourself, its normal that a teenage boy, gets a girlfriend.
but everytime you saw them together, you felt this strange tension creeping in, you couldnt figure it out and it would often send you spiraling, and you would constantly deny your not so obvious feelings for him. hes your best friend afterall, and the mere thought of ruining that friendship just because you couldnt control whatever you were feeling, scared you so much.
as for jungwon, hana was a distraction. he knew it was awful on his part, but he needed to try to move on from these feelings creeping up on him, as for him, whether he was just a friend, or best friend, he was okay with that, as long as you were by his side, he settled for it. but he knew he wanted more, and thats why he came up with this utterly stupid idea.
jungwon confided in niki, after niki caught him staring at you. to set the scene, everyone was at the beach, the air was fresh, the sun beaming harshly, and the ocean glittering in the light, and you were splashing around in the water with yoonchae and minju.
while he and the guys were in the sand playing volleyball, he was distracted, often getting yelled at by jake and sunghoon for not focusing but he thought you looked gorgeous, he couldnt stop looking at you, unti hana grabbed his arm and pouted at him.
"focus on the game won we're losing" she whined "sorry.."
his breakup hadn’t been sudden, it had been building quietly for weeks, maybe longer. hana had grown tired of it, of him, of the way your name seemed to exist between them even when you weren’t there. At first it was small things, sharp comments, subtle digs thrown your way whenever she got the chance, all masked as jokes that didn’t quite land. but it didn’t take much to see through it. It wasn’t really about you. It was about what you represented. something she could feel but couldn’t compete with.
by the time it ended, it was almost inevitable. at a party, surrounded by people and noise and everything that made it easy to act without thinking, she cheated on him. word got around quickly, but when it reached jungwon, he barely reacted. no anger, no confrontation, just a quiet acceptance that settled in almost too easily. a part of him felt like he deserved it. not because of anything he had done outright, but because of everything he hadn’t said. because even while he was with her, some part of him had always belonged somewhere else, with you.
after that, whatever restraint she had left disappeared. the remarks became more direct, less disguised, her frustration spilling over into open hostility. and eventually, she gave him an ultimatum one that hung between them like a final line drawn. either he got back with her and proved, clearly and undeniably, that he didn’t love you, in a desperate last resort to keep him for herself and she would stop and leave you alone, let everything go, or he finally admitted the truth, to her, himself and to you, and took you to prom instead.
thats when niki cornered him and started questioning his actions. jungwon ended up telling him his feelings, and expressed remorse for what he did to hana, but admittingly would never mention his feeliings to you, worried that he could ruin this safe space he built with you.
"take y/n to prom then" niki deadpanned, "won im serious, ask her to be your date, take things slow, its a small step, and its nothing crazy, you guys do everything together anyways, what difference would it make if you took her to a stupid dance"
and that lands you back here, in the quiet of the hallway, just around the corner. jungwon had planned this in his head for the last week or so, to ask you to prom and to finally take a small step forward, as niki said. and then everything got too real and he got scared.
youre looking up at him, your glittering eyes staring into his, waiting for what he has to say, that he had dragged you all the way out here for privacy. you almost felt giddy.
when they broke up, you told yourself it didn’t matter and that it wasn’t your place to feel anything about it. but the truth settled in quietly, undeniable and sharp: you were happy. not in a loud, obvious way, not in anything you would ever say out loud, but in the way your chest felt lighter, in the way something tense inside you finally loosened. and when Jungwon came back to you, falling so easily into what you had always been to each other, it felt right in a way that made you uncomfortable if you thought about it for too long. because beneath it, there was something selfish you couldn’t ignore. you had hated seeing him with her. hated knowing that, for a while, he belonged to someone else in a way he had never quite belonged to you.
youre waiting for him to speak him, and by the way his foot shuffled, the way he had wiped his palms on his jeans, he was nervous.
your chest tightened, anticipation creeping in before you could stop it. you knew him well enough to recognize when something was coming, when he was working up to say something that mattered. and for a second, just a second, you let yourself believe it.
his eyes flickered up to meet yours, then away again. He inhaled like he was about to jump.
“can I ask you something?” your heart skipped. “yeah, of course.”
another pause. longer this time. his shoulders tensed, jaw tightening as if he was fighting himself.
you waited.
and then you watched it happen. the shift. the hesitation turning into doubt, doubt folding into fear. whatever he was about to say, whatever had been sitting right there on the edge, he pulled it back.
“would you…” he trailed off, swallowing, his voice coming out quieter. “would you be my girlfriend?”
your breath caught—
“like, fake,” he added quickly, almost stumbling over the words. “just for prom. So hana backs off. she won’t stop unless she thinks i’ve moved on, and… if we go together, it’ll be easier. for both of us.”
the moment cracked.
you forced yourself to stay still, even as something inside you dropped. he wasn’t looking at you now, his gaze fixed somewhere else, like he couldn’t bear to see your reaction.
“it wouldn’t mean anything,” he continued, more controlled now, like he’d settled into the safer version of what he almost said. “we can set rules. keep it simple.”
for a second, you just looked at him.
he had been right there. right on the edge of something real.
and then he chose this instead.
and he immediatly regrets it, he saw your smile falter and you look lost, disappointed. and now he too was confused.
you blinked, the silence stretching just a second too long as your thoughts scrambled to catch up with the shift. “oh—uh… yeah,” you stammered, forcing a small nod. “sure.”
the word felt strange coming out, heavier than it should’ve been.
he exhaled, relief flickering across his face, and that alone told you everything you needed to know or at least, everything you thought you did. If he had wanted to confess, he would have. if he had meant something more, he wouldn’t have taken it back so quickly, hidden it behind something safe, something controlled.
so this was what he preferred.
and you accepted it for what it was.
“yeah, it’s fine,” you added, a little more steady now. “we can… figure out the details later.”
you didn’t stay long after that. you made some excuse something about needing to get to class, or meeting someone and left before the conversation could stretch into something worse, something harder to hold together. "y/n wait..."
walking away, your mind spun, trying to make sense of the moment that had almost been something else. It left you confused, caught between what you thought you saw and what actually happened. but beneath that confusion, there was a quieter realization settling in.
he didn’t want you like that.
not really.
you were the safe option. the easy one. the one that wouldn’t complicate things.
and somehow, that hurt more than if he had just said nothing at all.
but still you said yes.
because even if it wasn’t real, even if it didn’t mean anything to him, it was the closest you were ever going to get to knowing what it might feel like to be with him. just for now, you'll bear it.
⚘ jungwon
➻ pretty when you cry *ੈ✩‧₊˚ y.jw
synopsis: you were always sensitive growing up, crying and weeping in your mother's arms over things in a way that few understood, until you met a boy, whose only true goal was to protect you, but failed in doing so as he got overwhelmed by his high school teenage years and left you behind
➻ pretty when you cry *ੈ✩‧₊˚ y.jw pt2
➻ just for now *ੈ✩‧₊˚ y.jw
synopsis : you and jungwon grew close over time, with unspoken feelings between you. after his messy breakup, caused in part by his ex’s insecurity about you, he almost confessed but backed out and asked you to be his fake girlfriend for prom instead. thinking he didn’t truly want you, you agreed anyway, hoping it was the closest you’d get to being with him.
⚘ haechan
➻ memory lane ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- {l.h}
sypnosis: when irritated, Haechan may put your feelings aside without intentionally doing so, his actions repeatedly leave you feeling neglected and unimportant, and as time passes, you find yourself growing weary of his attitude. Your patience wears thin, and you reach a breaking point.
(𝓹airing) — psh x fmr ꣑୧ 𝓯renemies to lovers ; fluff, profanity, & lots of kissing (𝔀ordcount) one-thousand five-hundred forty 𝓹eng's note. these pics. #iWantThat 𝓫ookshelf
𝓼ynopsis. seeing your ex in public leads to hiding in a small photobooth with your annoying student council vice president park sunghoon
“you’re late,” sunghoon says in the most agitating voice possible as you walk through the classroom door.
“i wouldn’t be late if you did your job,” you huff, walking right up to the desk he sat at and dropping the bags of decorations you had picked up from the party supplies store.
“hey! i said i would pick those up!” he says annoyed, sifting through everything you brought.
“mrs. kim said we needed them by today! why the fuck were you just sitting around?”
“geez, loosen up,” the boy gets up from his seat, his tall body looming over yours. “let’s just go decorate the gym.”
the two of you split up the bags of party supplies and headed towards the gym where the rest of the council and student volunteers were waiting.
setting up for the fundraiser was easy until you and sunghoon started yelling at each other over which color streamers should be used over the doorway.
jake had to drag you away by the shoulders to come to help him with the balloons. sunghoon felt a bitter taste when he saw jake with his arm around your shoulder but decided to ignore it.
“hoon,” jungwon calls out. “we’re out of balloons!”
“that’s why i should have bought the decorations…” sunghoon mutters under his breath before walking up to where you and jake were giggling.
sunghoon walks up behind you and places a hand on your shoulder. “we have to go back to the store.” he whispers in your ear.
you freeze at his touch but nod and say goodbye to jake. he lets go of you and the two of you walk out the exit leading to the parking lot.
the two of you get into sunghoon’s car and he drives off to the mall.
there’s an awkward silence between the both of you, which you can’t decide if you like bantering with him over it. there’s so much tension due to sunghoon’s lingering touch from earlier.
once inside the mall, you quietly walked side by side into the automatic doors.
only a few feet from the party supplies stores you halt. spotting your ex-boyfriend and old friend seemingly on a date.
“sunghoon,” you whisper, tapping on his shoulder. “do you see what i see?”
he rolls his eyes at you finally breaking the silence but then looks up to see for himself. once he does that the two seem to have had the same idea, making eye contact with the other.
“oh shit they saw us,” he panics, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the photo booth you were conveniently standing next to.
the photo booth is small. way too small. sunghoon is already sitting as you uncomfortably sit on the ledge with your legs peeking out from the curtain.
“get up,” he instructs.
“what?” you raise an eyebrow. “i’m not letting them see me again! especially not with you!”
“i meant like come here,” sunghoon grabs you and settles you on his lap, so the both of you fit into the small space.
“oh my god, what if they come over here!” you panic resting your hands on his shoulders. “this is bad! especially since i’m with you of all people-”
“with me?” sunghoon questions.
“well, like when we were dating, he always thought you had a crush on me, which isn’t impossible! i had to keep reassuring him but he never believed me! like me and you are barely even friends-” you ramble, balling sunghoon’s shirt in your fists as you freak out.
“woah, calm down,” he tells you, prying your hands from his uniform so you don’t wrinkle it. “it’s not like they’ll come to talk to us.”
just as the words left his mouth the sound of two sets of footsteps were picked up by your ears. you started to become overwhelmingly nervous. it was the first time seeing your ex-boyfriend since the split and the fact your childhood best friend was on a date with him.
even if you drifted, shouldn’t she have some sense of girl code?
“you’re shaking,” sunghoon stares at you.
“no i’m not!” you shake your head, your heartbeat being undeniably fast. “but like i haven’t had a date since him and that’s kind of sad for me-”
“i swear i saw her,” the familiar voice of your old friend says, sounding so close. “it could have been anyone though.”
“no, i saw her and that motherfucker,” your ex hisses.
“wow, i’m ‘motherfucker’,” sunghoon whispers, rolling his eyes.
“if he made a move on her i swear.”
“hey, i have an idea,” he says in your ear.
sunghoon reaches for his phone out of his pocket, holding you close as he leans over slightly to pay the machine for a photo. the screen activates after processing his card and he selects a random frame.
the camera starts going and you sit confused as sunghoon starts posing. you can’t help but watch him. he always looks pretty but you must admit he knows how to pose.
you peek over to the curtain to see two pairs of legs standing outside the photo booth. you can only assume it’s them.
“you weren’t looking in any of them,” sunghoon recalls, pressing print on the screen.
“oh, sorry,” you turn your attention back to him.
“it’s fine, let's do another one,” he says nonchalantly as he pays for another photo strip.
this time sunghoon shifts in his spot, making it so that your face can be seen on the screen without having to turn you around in his lap.
you awkwardly copy sunghoon’s poses until by the second to last picture you hear him again.
“that fucker is in the photo booth,” the male voice outside says, seeing as he drops the photo strip back into where it fell from.
“come closer,” he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“fine,” you lean onto him. “but don’t show my face too much. i’m not wearing concealer today.”
“you look just as pretty,” sunghoon leans closer so your lips barely brush the others. “maybe even prettier than usual.”
he brings his thumb to your bottom lip, gently stroking it before closing the gap.
you hate to admit it but kissing sunghoon was everything you expected and more. you’ve caught yourself daydreaming about his lips on yours during one-on-one meetings in the conference room. when his hair is still damp from his after-shower practice and his face is still slightly flushed.
park sunghoon can make you mad, especially when he got secretary over you in freshman year. but you cannot deny that even when bitter about the council's choice you wanted to kiss that proud smile on his face.
he made you mad when he stole your posters when you were running for secretary again the next year. but after he found you crying in the far stairwell he explained he only did that because he thinks you should run for president instead. sunghoon even pulled out another stack of flyers he made for you that he spent the whole night doing.
the sunghoon that got you both kicked out of a council meeting for arguing with each other is the same sunghoon with his lips molded perfectly against yours.
the same boy that had you studying your ass off when class ranks came out, since he’s your only competition, is the same boy in front of you now with his lips locked on yours.
you start to feel dizzy by the decreased amount of air in your lungs by the minute but you can’t bring yourself to let go just yet. when you start seeing black specs dotting your vision you finally pull away to see a heavily panting sunghoon with a flushed face.
“sorry,” sunghoon apologizes as he catches his breath.
your heart sinks. he only kissed you to distract you and probably so your ex will see the photos when they print.
“oh,” you fight the frown threatening to appear on your face. “it’s okay. he’s probably gone now.”
“i would have asked for your permission but you looked really stressed and i thought it would help you get your mind off your asshole ex.”
“thanks,” you say with a pout sunghoon finds adorable.
“you still seem sad,” he pokes at your sides, making you squirm in his hold. “maybe another kiss?”
“maybe,” you say shyly.
sunghoon is out forty dollars by the time you and he are done kissing in the photo booth. he kept mindlessly swiping his card as his lips stayed on yours to prevent anyone from kicking you two out since you were there for a considerable amount of time.
you’re interrupted by sunghoon’s phone ringing profusely.
“where are you two?” jungwon asks in a panic. “we need those balloons.”
“traffic,” sunghoon says as you plant a line of kisses down his neck, hands tangled in the hair at his nape.
“hurry up,” jungwon advises him.
you and sunghoon return to school an hour and a half after you originally left. with a bag of balloons and a stack of photo strips. most of them capturing purely just of you two making out.
when stepping foot in the gym and you go over to hand jungwon the balloons he so desperately needed. he quickly notices the matching hickeys forming on both your necks and how disheveled your uniforms and hair appear.
“traffic huh?” jungwon asks as his eyes flicker between both of you.
"lots," you nod as you walk away to help minjeong tie balloons.
summary: you were always sensitive growing up, crying and weeping in your mother's arms over things in a way that few understood, until you met a boy, whose only true goal was to protect you, but failed in doing so as he got overwhelmed by his high school teenage years and left you behind
pairing ✧˚ · . yang jungwon x reader ( some enha members are mentioned )
genre ! established friendship, fluff and angst, arguments, friends to lovers!
word count:
AUTHORS NOTE:: sorry for the delay but here is part 2!! i hope you enjoyed! im gonna start taking requests, so please send me anything <3
italic text: flashbacks ( in case of confusion )
fuck , your heart felt like bursting through your chest. sliding down the bathroom stall door, you clutched tightly your bag that has now slid down next to your shaking form. you couldnt breathe, your eyes blurred with tears that continuously slid down your already stained cheeks, your other hand gripping the roots of your hair as you struggled to keep quiet.
the air felt suffocating, the bathroom stall sending you into a claustrophobic frenzy, the lingering bathroom smell making it even harder to breathe. your phone started ringing, but in that moment, you couldnt focus on anything else, other than the fact that you have officially lost your best friend, the only person that felt like home to you, your anchor through hardships in life, your person.
but no matter how hard you tried to ignore the constant buzzing from your phone, the screen illuminating every so often, it almost irritated you. for a moment, you looked boringly at the toilet in front of you, huffing at how pathetic you felt, but the endless stream of messages you were receiving once again lulled you out of your head space, and you hastily wiped your tears and turned over to your phone laid out on the floor. he had texted you, even called you.
you couldnt help but let out a forced laugh, so this is what it takes for him to finally contact you. your feelings were hurt, you felt like your soul had espaced your body, hell even your heart clenched at the mere thought of jungwon, but you had to look at his messages that were left notified on your phone, carefully not opening them in case you werent ready to answer him just yet.
wonie: im so sorry
wonie: please, im so sorry
wonie: i promise please, ill keep my promise, im not leaving you, ill never do that, im so sorry y/n, please answer
wonie: where are you? i need to see you, please let me explain myself
wonie: god even if you dont want to see me, please let me make it up to you, im sorry for hurting you, im sorry for ruining us, im so so sorry for fucking up so bad that i lost you
7 missed calls from wonie
you didn't want to continue, you felt incoming tears and stopped reading. he didn't want you anymore, he didnt want to be your person anymore, he didn't want to protect you anymore, and he made that so clear. but why now? why after a month? where you painstakingly waited for him, gave him the benefit of the doubt, continued to love him, despite pushing you away the way he did?
admittedly, you wanted to answer him, but you weren't ready, whatsoever, you needed time, to think this through, and it was your turn to walk away from him.
jungwon sat in the cafeteria, legs bouncing, breathing ragged as he prayed and hoped to catch a glimpse of you, even a for a mere second. to desperately beg for your forgiveness, kneel down in front of you, to once again worship the ground you walked on, to love you the way that you deserved to be loved.
he couldnt think straight, his mind constantly replaying the image of you, of how the second those repulsive words left his mouth, you crumbled in front of him, how that being the first time he's ever seen so much despair and hopelessness paint your beautiful face.
he always thought you were beautiful, he admired you from afar so much that thats all he could ever think about, you. the way your eyes sparkle, the way you smile despite the tears running down your reddened cheeks. he loves you, with all his being, and he only now realized how irreplaceable you are. you mean the entire world time, and he's so in love with you, with your whole nature. it has always been you.
jungwon was lost in thought, until a feather-light tap on his shoulder pulled him from his thoughts. he turned quickly, hope flaring that it might be you. but it wasn’t. of course it wasn't you. It was jake, looking at him with concern. "hey, you okay?" jake asked gently.
jungwon blinked, finally taking in his surroundings, the table was quiet. his friends were all silently looking at him with worry etched on their faces, almost like they pitied him for looking so miserable. he hadn’t even realized he had been crying until jake pointed it out, by passing him a tissue. "do you need some fresh air?" jake suggested, his voice soft, a small smile on his face. "let’s take a walk."
he nodded numbly, allowing jake and sunghoon to guide him out of the cafeteria. they walked in silence, jungwon in the middle as he looked at the ground, until they reached the quiet of the school courtyard. the clear air helped clear jungwon's mind a little, only for a moment, but the guilt still weighed heavily on him.
sunghoon broke the silence first. "you wanna tell us whats going on between you and y/n? i mean we're worried, we've never seen you like this, and this is the first time we've seen you interact with y/n."
jungwon took a deep breath, feeling the tears well up again. he almost laughed, you, the love of his life, his person, was kept hidden from his friends, the one he cherished the most. it was almost funny to him, how your friendship lasted a decade, yet none of his friends have ever heard about you. he was a screw up.
"y/n and i have been best friends since we were kids." he began, sliding down the brick wall as he kept his gaze on the ground, "she’s... she’s always been there for me, and vice versa, and growing up, we had always promised to be there for each other. but ever since high school started, i’ve been neglecting our friendship, her. i got so caught up with football and everything else that i put her second. and now... now i messed up."
jake and sunghoon couldn't help but exchange confused glances, their concern deepening. "what do you mean" jake asked, mirroring the boy, as he slid down the wall and accompanied jungwon now slumped over his knees.
jungwon wiped at his slowly eyes, trying to steady himself, "she confronted me today, you both saw..." he continued, "and told me how much she missed me, how she felt like she was losing me. and instead of being there for her, reassuring her, i lashed out. i said things... terrible things. i promised to never make her cry, but i did, i made her cry, and she left."
he looked down, his voice barely above a whisper. "i love her. i’ve always loved her. but i fucked up, i fucked up so badly" he heaved, his chest so heavy with guilt that he couldn't shake the feeling off, despite finally opening up to his friends, the weight what was supposed to be lifted off his shoulders remained, almost weighing him down and he felt like he could be buried alive at any moment.
the air was tense now, as silence lingered, and for a minute, jungwon thought that he had messed up so badly, this even his friends couldnt help him.
but sunghoon was the first to speak up, momentarily, easing the boy, as he knelt down next to jungwon, a hand on the boy's shoulder to keep himself steady and not fall over, "you messed up, i wont lie to you jungwon, you royally messed up, but recognizing that is the first step. of course you'll need to make things right. if she means that much to you, fight for it" he sighed, " and you know her best, whether she feels like talking to you now or not, give her a day, pull her aside and set things straight. let her know how you feel, how much you love her" he continued, " you have nothing to lose at this point, won, go big or go home" jake chimed in, sending the boy a warm smile. " you can do it yeah?"
jungwon nodded, determination settled down on him, but he had this lingering fear that you wouldn’t forgive him, and it crushed him. he knew that laying it all down on you would give you insight into how he felt, and maybe then you would understand, maybe then you would come back to him. he was willing to wait for however long it would take, as long as he could be back in your world as your person, and you his. he never realized how painful losing you was, until it happened, until you walked out of that classroom, crying because of him.
he was ashamed of himself, looking down at the series of text messages he had left you, expecting you to have opened them, at least read them, but nothing. he was left on delivered and slowly his determination started to crack.
but there was so much to fight for, to salvage, and he found himself revolting to even look at.
and for the remainder of the day, he looked lifeless, his body moved faster than his mind could think, going through the day for the sake of perfect attendance. however, he never paid attention in class that day, and sat in the back of the classroom, writing and rewriting his words, trying to find the right way to express his remorse and his love.
almost like how you prepared to confront him earlier that morning.
you went home after the confrontation, much to your dismay despite hating the fact that you'd have to miss school. but you didnt know if you could handle seeing jungwon, fearing that maybe he'd turn away from you, anger lingering him. you wished you never confronted him, and maybe then things would be okay, maybe you should've been more patient with him. but you told yourself it wasn't entirely your fault, you still had self worth, but for the sake of your heart, you wanted desperately to salvage whatever you had left of your friendship.
upon arriving home, it was about 10:30 am, grinning slightly i have time to go back to bed and tell mom and dad i felt ill and couldn't go to school.
and thats exactly what you did, carefully unlocking the door, you made your way inside, and quietly took off your shoes before tip toeing to your room and shutting the door behind you. only then you could breathe, only then you feel serene in the comfort of your room. but that only lasted a second before your mind replayed memories of you and jungwon, in this very room. you felt tears form, but you held it in for the first time that month.
quietly stepping out of your worn clothes, and slid on your pajamas from the night before. you crawled into bed, and closed your eyes. but you couldn't fall asleep despite feeling exhausted from all the crying you did earlier that morning. however you stayed put, refusing to go on your phone, worried that maybe another message from jungwon would appear and all hell would break loose. so you kept your eyes shut, until sleep took over.
it was impossible for jungwon to fall asleep, the clock read 2am, and he simply couldnt shut his eyes, tossing and turning, and ever so often opening his chat with you to see if you had read his messages. you have, and you did for the most part. but he didn't know. it was eating him alive, every thought of you sent him spiraling down a rabbit hole, telling himself that this was it tomorrow, or more like today, where he could either win you back or lose it all.
he couldn't wait until morning. every minute felt like an eternity, and the thought of spending another moment without fixing things was unbearable. he knew he had to tell you how he felt, and he had to do it now.
with a sudden burst of energy, jungwon threw on a hoodie and a pair of shoes close by, and slipped out of his house, beelining toward your place. he knew the road by heart, he had taken the same route so many times, and the thought of you being so close by, made him run faster. while the streets were quiet, the world shrouded in the stillness of the early morning, the only sound were of birds, and jungwon's heavy breathing . his heart pounded in his chest from exhaustion and anxiety as he approached your house.
reaching your window, he noticed your night lamp was on, you were awake, he thought. and without a delay, he picked up a few small rocks and began to throw them gently against the glass, hoping to catch your attention without waking your parents. each clink of the rocks echoed in the silence, his breath held as he waited for a sign that you had heard.
inside your dim lit room, you were also wide awake, unable to sleep. the confrontation with jungwon replayed in your mind, the hurt and confusion making it impossible to find solace despite being in the comfort of your room.
until you heard the soft tapping at your window, you were initially startled, choosing to ignore it, stupid wind you thought, but the soft clinks never stopped, and frustration took over your body and you jolted out of bed to check. and then you saw him, standing there with a desperate look on his face, close to tears.
your heart skipped a beat, were you imagining things? are you still lucid or was this the result of a fever dream? you reasoned with yourself that maybe you were hallucinating, and that you were just tired. but it looked all to real, the cold night air hitting your face, as your hair blew in the wind. you hesitated for a moment, your heart heavy with the weight of everything that had happened. but seeing jungwon like this, so vulnerable and earnest, you couldn’t ignore him.
“jungwon, what are you doing here?” you whispered, but loud enough for him to hear, trying to keep your voice low to avoid waking your parents.
“please, y/n,” he said, his voice trembling. “i need to talk to you. i couldn’t wait. not when i havent explained myself, not when ive ruined us, please, let me in.”
his eyes were filled with such raw emotion that you couldn’t turn him away. you frankly yearned for his presence, and despite you telling yourself that you weren't ready, you nodded and quickly ran downstairs, unlocking the back door, letting him in.
the exchange was quick "go upstairs quietly first, ill lock the door and get you a glass of water" you hummed, while he nodded and headed upstairs.
you took a minute to breathe, not noticing the fact that you held your breath the second you opened to door, and slowly made your way to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and filling it up. your mind was blank, not a single thought.
while jungwon made it safely to your room without causing any disturbance to your parents' slumber, he noticed small changes to your room, like how your bed was now pushed into the corner, or how you reorganized your shelves. but what remained untouched was the images of you and jungwon, pinned to a cork board. he stepped closer, and looked over the images, memories flooding in, and he felt himself shaking, tears forming once again. funny how he's the one crying despite causing this severance in your friendship.
his thoughts were pulled away from him when you entered the room, shutting the door quietly behind you and setting the glass of water on your nearby vanity.
turning around to meet your gaze, he stepped closer, his hands trembling. he couldn’t hold back any longer. tears streamed freely down his face as he reached for you, pulling you into a tight hug. “i’m so sorry,” he sobbed, his voice breaking. “i’m so sorry for everything. ive been horrible to you, i never meant to hurt you, but I did, and I’m so sorry.”
you felt his grip tighten as if he feared you would vanish if he let go. the weight of his apology, the sincerity in his tears, broke down the walls you had built around your heart. you couldnt help but hug him back , your own tears flowing freely.
“I missed you,” you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. “i needed you, jungwon. you were all i had" as you gripped his sweater.
“i know,” he replied, his voice filled with regret. “i know I messed up, but i love you. i’ve always loved you, i love you so much, and I was caught up in my own life to see what I was doing. please, forgive me. i’ll do anything to make it right.”
you pulled back slightly to look into his eyes, seeing the depth of his remorse and love. “i love you too, jungwon,” you said softly. “i always have. but you hurt me, so so bad.”
“i know,” he said for the nth time that evening, nodding through his tears. “and i’ll wait as long as it takes. i’ll prove to you that you mean the world to me, and i’ll never take you for granted again.”
"i've forgiven you the second i saw you at my window won"
" you've always looked so pretty when you cry "
in that moment, you both were overwhelmed by the depth of your feelings. jungwon leaned in, his lips trembling as they brushed against yours in a tender, hesitant kiss. it was a kiss filled with the pain of the past, the promise of the present, and the hope for the future. you responded, your arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer. the kiss deepened, becoming a silent vow of love and forgiveness. when you finally pulled apart for air, you rested your forehead against his, both of you breathing heavily, tears mingling with smiles.
"stay with me," you whispered, your voice barely audible. " i don't want to lose you again."
"never," Jungwon replied, his voice resolute. "i'll never leave you again."
wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down with him onto your bed. you lay down togethe holding each other tightly, as sleep started to take over. the warmth of his body against yours brought a sense of peace you hadn't felt in a long time, slowly lulling you to sleep.
as he looked over you, your head rested on his chest, he gently stroked your hair, his touch so soothing.
"i'm so sorry," he whispered again, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
"i know," you murmured. "we'll get through this, together."
summary: you were always sensitive growing up, crying and weeping in your mother's arms over things in a way that few understood, until you met a boy, whose only true goal was to protect you, but failed in doing so as he got overwhelmed by his high school teenage years and left you behind
pairing ✧˚ · . yang jungwon x reader ( some enha members are mentioned )
genre ! established friendship, fluff and angst, arguments
friends to lovers!
word count: 3044
AUTHORS NOTE:: lowk hate this rip
italic text: flashbacks ( in case of confusion )
you cried a lot, as a child, often seen roaming around with tear stained cheeks, a soft red hue that circled your eyes, and a hefty pack of tissues stuffed away in your pocket. you never really understood why, but you just cried a lot. you were sensitive to the world in a way that few understood. you cried during happy moments, overwhelmed by joy, and during sad ones, consumed by empathy. kittens and flowers brought tears to your eyes, their beauty and fragility touching something deep within you for example.
your parents were often worried, constantly watching your every move, unsure why you seemed so fragile. they took you to doctors and counselors, searching for answers that never came. "she's just very sensitive," they would say, their concern evident. "there's nothing wrong with that."
but your sensitivity made it hard to make friends. other children found your tears annoying, not understanding why you cried so easily. birthday parties, school events, and even simple playdates often ended with you feeling isolated and misunderstood.
you met jungwon on a bright summer day when you were both six years old. the playground was bustling with children, but you were content playing on your own, until a misstep on the jungle gym sent you tumbling to the ground, scraping your knee. ultimately tears welled up in your eyes, and you sat there frozen, feeling the sting of the cut and the embarrassment of falling. looking around you as you saw children eyeing you, your mother busy talking to another parent.
but a gentle hand tapped your shoulder, your mind reeling with emotions, until a soft voice called out for you "hi? can you hear me?", glancing up, a boy stood over you, expression concerned, but a warm smile appeared when you finally looked at him " are you okay? " he asked as he crouched down beside you, he looked about your age, he gently smiled at him despite the tears rolling freely down your face as you shook your head no. on cue, he pulled out the crumpled tissue that was peaking from your pocket and patted your scraped knee, shying away from your wandering eyes.
"you're pretty when you cry," he said timidly, as an attempt to cheer you up. you sniffled, managing a small laugh through your tears.
from that moment, you and jungwon became inseparable. he had always appreciated your sensitive side, often finding it endearing. whenever you cried over a beautiful sunset, a touching movie scene, or even a kind gesture from a stranger, jungwon was there, standinf by your side, smiling softly and comforting you.
he promised himself that he'd never be the one to cause those tears, at least not the sad ones. he prided himself on being your protector, your steadfast rock in a world that often felt overwhelming.
" you know im not going anywhere right?" jungwon glanced over at you, giggling as he handed you a glass of water as you were preparing cup noodles together at your family home " you can hold me at gun point and i wont budge " , you rolled you eyes " yeah yeah i know, thank you" you replied as you gently grabbed the glass of water, taking a quick sip. " i promise i wont leave you either "
however, as you both grew older, you began to feel the weight of your sensitivity more acutely. you didn’t want to be seen as fragile or overly emotional. you yearned for a future where you felt confident in what you do, grow independent and become capable of handling your own emotions without relying on someone, that someone being jungwon. this, to you, meant distancing yourself from the past where you relied so heavily on jungwon’s comfort.
it wasn't that you didn’t need him; in fact, you needed him more than ever, constantly calling out for him in moments of distress whether he was present or not. but your need had transformed into something deeper, something more complex. you had simply fallen in love with jungwon, your best friend, and that love made you feel vulnerable. you were terrified of becoming a burden to him, of your emotions being too much to handle.
but you couldn't do it, you could never walk away from him, not when he had your heart in this grip of his hands. so you decided to deal with it. get over it and move on.
but he walked away from you.
as high school rolled around, the dynamic between you and jungwon began to shift. jungwon found new friends, often seen partying and going on every so often on social media, a large group of friends by his side most of the time. his natural charm and athletic abilities , he even made it on the football team, thus making him a favorite among students. despite this, you tried to maintain your bond, even as you focused on your studies.
you found out he made the football team about a month into the new school year, and despite the urge to walk up to him to congratulate him yourself like you usually do, you bit your tongue, watching him from afar, as his friends cheered, his smile so big, dimples so prominent, you havent seen him smile like this in a while, was it because of you? because of your constant saddened mood? because you're so sensitive it brings people down with you?
you opted to calling him that night, messages from you often left on delivered by him, so you refrained from that being your first option, and unlocked your phone and looked for his contact, you dialed his number, anxiously tapping your fingers on the back of your phone, waiting for him to pick up, again.
beep..beep...beep... the number you dialed is currently not available, please leave a message after this beep.
with a deep sigh, you tossed your phone beside you, he's busy again, you wondered, your heart ached slightly, was this it? has he finally left you? , you looked at your ceiling for a moment, fiddling the skin around your nails and cuticles, and opted to send him a message.
to wonie : hey won, i just wanted to congratulate you for making the football team! we havent talked since the try outs, please call me back whenever you can to catch up <3
as you tapped send, your gut feeling knew he was gonna take a while to answer, like he's been doing for the past month or so ever since school started. you knew you were being replaced, and part of you felt relieved that jungwon is finally taking a step back and letting you do things on your own, but this isnt what you wanted afterall, you didnt want him to completely disappear from you like the way he is now. you yearned so much for his presence, but these days its almost impossible to get a text back within the day or sometimes, within the week.
your eyes welled up with tears, fighting the urge to let them spill, the comforter that wrapped warmly around your body seemed to not comfort you anymore, the cold seeped in front within and you cried, wailed and sobbed for your friend, the promise jungwon, you promised to never make me cry.
but it wasnt officially over though right? you thought so, you needed to know, so desperately for an answer, was your friendship finally over? you werent so sure, it felt like it, but you wanted to ask him.
to jungwon, his life took a new turn. after a particularly thrilling football game, he caught the attention of jake, one of the star players on the team. jake and some of his friends saw potential in jungwon and invited him to try out for the team. excited by the prospect of joining their ranks and eager to prove himself, jungwon accepted the invitation without hesitation.
from the moment he joined the team, jungwon's schedule became busier. he spent countless hours practicing, hanging out with the team, and participating in social events. the camaraderie and thrill of being part of the football team were exhilarating. he felt like he was finally becoming someone important, someone recognized and admired by his peers.
unfortunately, this newfound popularity came at a cost. jungwon found himself prioritizing the football team and his new found friends over you. he didnt mean to really, he often missed plans, stood you up, or simply forgot about the time you were supposed to spend together. each time he let you down, he felt a pang of guilt, but he reassured himself that he could make it up to you later. but he never did.
shit, you were gonna be late for class, quickly walking over to your first class of the day, stupid alarm you thought, however, as you were so focused on looking at your phone, watching as time moved faster in the moment, you bumped into someone, dropping your phone in the process. cursing out quietly, and apologizing, you knelt down to collect your belonging, a quiet voice pulled you out of your wandering thoughts, the warmth that you held onto so dearly, but havent heard from in so long, stood before you " y/n?" jungwon titled his head, trying to get your attention " sorry i was in a hurry.. what are you doing? arent you supposed to be in class too?" you glanced at him, and then your phone, time was ticking, and you needed to get to class right now, but here he was, standing before you, for the first time in a week, " uh yeah i actually have football try outs in about 10 mins ...so i wont be in class today "
"oh thats true, i know you'll do well, uhm by the way.. i know you've been busy with training and all, but we missed our plans the other day, we can reschedule, i really i dont mind" you hummed, class soon became a second priority, you didnt mind being late anymore, now that you got to talk to jungwon face to face after a while. but unbeknownst to you, this might been the last time.
" im sorry y/n... i swear ill make it up to you, ive just been really busy, ill call you after school yeah? we can plan something then" he smiled, as he readjusted his bag that was lazily swung over his shoulder, " yeah, definietly, ive got to go, good luck wonie!" you smiled back, walking away, happy and joyful.
but that promised call never came, and that night you stared at your phone for hours, waiting for his name to pop up, and it never did. but you were okay with it, you can wait.
jungwon's thoughts often drifted to you. he had always loved you, which was why he made all those promises and stood by your side through thick and thin. but with the overwhelming joy and busyness of his new life, he started to neglect your friendship. It wasn't intentional, but it happened all the same. He never meant to put you second; he just mindlessly went on with his days, you always in the back of his mind.
jungwon knew he was screwing up. He saw the disappointment in your eyes each time he missed plans or stood you up. but each time, you forgave him, and he foolishly took that forgiveness for granted. he was stressed with schoolwork and football training, and so he put you aside for now, waiting for the right moment to swoop you back into his arms and make it all up to you.
but that moment never came. he kept forgetting to text or call you back. He barely saw you at school, except in class, but even then, the distance was palpable. jungwon knew it was partly his fault, but he kept telling himself he would fix things soon. He knew he loved you, he was just stupid, overwhelmed, and lost in the whirlwind of high school life.
the more time jungwon spent with his new friends, the more he felt the pangs of guilt gnawing at him. every time he saw you in the hallways, your eyes catching his for a fleeting moment before you looked away, he felt a knot tighten in his chest. he missed the late-night conversations, the shared laughter, and the comfortable silence that only you can provide.
but as weeks turned into a month, the pressures of high school only intensified. football games, practice sessions, team outings, and the ever-present demands of academics left him little time to breathe, let alone rekindle a friendship that was slowly slipping through his fingers. jungwon told himself that he would find the right moment to make things right, but that moment always seemed just out of reach.
he was at a breaking point, and you swooped in, at the worst time.
god were you scared, you woke up with a knot of anxiety in your stomach. the skin around your nails was raw and bitten off from a night of nervous fretting. you had replayed the conversation in your head countless times, dreading his reaction but knowing it had to be done. you couldn’t let this drift continue; it was eating away at you, and you missed your best friend too much to stay silent any longer. you decided today was the day you'd confront him.
you got ready for school, your hands trembling as you pulled on your clothes and brushed your hair. every glance in the mirror showed a face etched with worry. You barely touched your breakfast, unable to stomach anything, your parents glanced over at each other for the nth time that morning, worry evident " honey you need to eat" you mother hummed sweetly " im okay, thank you for breakfast, im heading out", and with that you walked over to your parents, planting a kiss on their foreheads and made your way out.
the walk to school made you almost vomit, the familiar route felt strange and daunting, each step closer to the confrontation making your heart pound harder, and dread started to settle in.
at school, you found jungwon surrounded by some of his friends in the hallway, jungwon resting his back on the lockers mounted behind him, a soft smile on his face as the morning sun shined brightly through the hallway windows. the atmosphere was light for him, he was softly giggling at a banter between his jake and jay. you felt a pang of longing and hurt seeing him so immersed in their world, a world that had pushed you out. summoning all your courage, you walked up to them, your heart in your throat.
"jungwon," you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. "Can we talk?"
his friends fell silent, turning to look at you with confusion. none of them knew about the history you shared with jungwon, and their curiosity was evident in their faces. jungwon hesitated, glancing between you and his friends. for a moment, you thought he might brush you off, but then he nodded reluctantly and stepped away from the group.
you quickly led him to an empty classroom, the silence between you two thick with unspoken words. once inside, shutting the door behind you, you finally turned to face him, your nerves on edge. "jungwon, are we okay?" you began, your voice trembling. "i mean, are you okay? youve been so busy i barely get to see you anymore."
jungwon sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "i've been really busy with football and school. it's not that I don't care, it's just... everything's been so overwhelming."
"but we promised," you said, tears welling up in your eyes, you tried so hard to not let them pour out, let vulnerbility show in this moment, you needed to stand your ground. "we promised each other, i get that things are getting harder for you, but you cant be the only one complaining, please jungwon, why are you pushing me away? i never see you anymore, i never hear from you, and when i do, its days or even weeks after contact! why are you leaving me? why did you lie to me! ."
with his head in his hands, rubbing his face to wake up from the early morning drowsiness, jungwon's frustration boiled over. "I can't be everywhere at once!" he snapped, glaring over at you. "do you think it's easy balancing everything? i'm doing the best I can, and you're constantly blowing up my phone, calls after calls, texts after texts. i can't handle you and everything else at the same time, and maybe if you weren't so sensitive about everything, we wouldn't be having this conversation!, find someone else to bother"
the words cut deep, and you felt the sting of tears, using your own insecurities against you, was a new low for jungwon and he knew, but in that moment he didnt want to back down, he was hurt, that you accused him of being the villain, but he knew he was, he was most definietly the bad guy. "i just miss you," you whispered, your voice breaking. "i need you, jungwon and you know that too"
" i cant handle you anymore " he shot back, not realizing the full impact of his words until they hung in the air between you.
the tears you had been holding back flowed freely now, and you couldn’t bear to stay any longer. you turned and fled from the classroom.
jungwon ran after you, but you disappeared by the time he reached the end of the hallway, students peering out of classrooms to see what was going on, only to find jungwon stood, shoulders slumped, chest heaving and slowly he crumbled.
he had hurt you, deeply, he realized just how badly he had been treating you. the guilt and regret hit him like a tidal wave, and he knew in that moment that he was the worst person ever.
in that moment, he wished so bad, to turn back time, to tell you it was all a mistake, his mistakes, leading up to this moment, and tell you how much he loves you, the whole you.
summary: when irritated, Haechan may put your feelings aside without intentionally doing so, his actions repeatedly leave you feeling neglected and unimportant, and as time passes, you find yourself growing weary of his attitude. Your patience wears thin, and you reach a breaking point.
pairing ✧˚ · . haechan x gn!reader ft jaemin ( no love triangle soz )
genre ! established relationship, fluff and a bit of angst (comfort!), arguments ( haechan was kinda mean at the beginning) haechan and reader getting sad D: ( also slow burn )
word count: 4617
AUTHORS NOTE:: I finally caved and decided to start writing! please let me know if my first work is okay,, please dont mind the spelling problems if there are ( i've pulled an all nighter ) :/
Amidst the chaos of his demanding schedule, Haechan had surprised you on your anniversary with a heartfelt gesture.
On his rare rest day, he had whisked you away on a romantic outing, the memory still fresh in your mind. The day had been filled with laughter and tender moments, a welcome respite from the relentless pace of life.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the city skyline, Haechan had presented you with a small velvet box. His warm smile filing you up with tremendous warmth, a warmth you wish to never disappear. With trembling hands, you had opened it to reveal a delicate promise ring, its shimmering surface reflecting the love and commitment he felt for you.
"chan..." Tears welled up in your eyes as he carefully slipped the ring onto your finger, the weight of his promise settling like a comforting embrace around your heart. In that moment, amidst the hustle and bustle of the world around you, all that mattered was the love you shared and the promise of a future together.
The memory of that day served as a beacon of hope, a reminder of the deep bond that connected you despite the challenges you faced.
And as you stood before Haechan now, baring your soul and laying your heart on the line, that promise ring served as a symbol of the love and devotion that would guide you through the storms ahead.
That was 2 months ago.
But in this moment in time, you stared into that beacon of hope, that promise ring he gifted to you, promising to be by your side through thick and thin, now realizing its meaning is slowly fading as your relationship that you held onto so dearly for years, is slowly breaking apart.
The clock read 2am, you've been sat in front of the TV, huddled up in a plethora of blankets, to help relieve the weight thats been heavy in your heart. You're tired, so tired, but you're waiting on him. The day passed slowly, and only then you're met with buzzing sounds coming from your front door. In a hurry, you scrambled to your feet, excitement mixed with an uneasy feeling slowly sunk in. Will he greet you like he used to do? with a long comforting hug and a kiss on the forehead?
As the door clicked on, you remained still in your spot, by the couch, waiting for him, like you've been doing for the past month.
The tension in the apartment was palpable as Haechan appeared through the door, the weight of his exhaustion evident in every weary step. You knew he was tired, you knew he spent hours at work, practicing. But your heart sank as he barely acknowledged your presence, offering only a cursory nod in your direction before retreating swiftly to the sanctuary of your shared bedroom.
"haechan..." your words were cut short once you heard the door shut swiftly.
Alone in the dimly lit living room, you couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that settled over you like a suffocating shroud once again. The distance between you felt insurmountable, a gaping chasm that threatened to swallow you whole. You werent sure what went wrong, was he tired of you? The questions that lingered in your mind were starting to take a toll on you.
Your body felt numb, and you were tired all over again. Picking at the skin around your nails, you needed to talk to him. You looked at that band around your finger, wondering if this was all worth it in the end.
You grew to learn that Haechan's irritation was palpable whenever he was around nowadays, his patience wearing thin like a thread stretched to its limit. He'd always retreat to your shared bedroom, changing out of his work clothes and beelining to his computer, and seeking solace in the virtual realm of video games with the other members. You'd hear their laughter echoing through the apartment, a painful reminder of your own solitude.
With a heavy heart, you approached your shared bedroom, and slowly opened the door.
He didn't notice you at first, too busy in his own world to notice your existence, " haechan we need to talk.."
Only then he looked up from his screen, momentarily startled by your presence. " can we do this later, we're about to start, " he mumbled, as he fondled with the mic attached to his headphones.
" no, chan, we need to talk about this now, you can't keep doing this " you looked and sounded exhausted, your patience growing thin as this conversation has been put aside one too many times in the past month, and he noticed it.
".. i'll call you guys later" and with that he carefully took off his headphones, ending the call, and turned around to finally, for the first time in weeks, look you in the eyes.
" we can't keep doing this, what's happening to us? you haven't talked to me, let alone look at me for a week!, " you huffed, sitting down on haechan's side of the bed, fiddling with your ring ", i feel like you're disappearing from me, hell we live under the same roof yet you can't even spare me a glance! what's going on with you? i feel like i'm constantly walking on eggshells around you!" you feel yourself choking up, fighting the angry tears that's threatening to spill, yet your words fall onto to deaf ears.
You continue your rant, " why have you been acting this way? i get that youre tired, truly i do, but i cant help but feel like a burden, its been weeks since we've been intimate, weeks since you've come home to me before midnight!" your patience is wearing thin, tension in the room is rising, yet haechan still hasnt muttered a single word, his gaze fixed on the floor as if unable to meet your eyes.
The silent stretched on, a suffocating weight that pressed down on you like a leaden blanket.
And slowly, you're getting more and more frustrated " please say something! i dont know what you're thinking if you keep ignoring me, please haechan! " by then your anger slowly dissipating into sheer sadness, overwhelming you with a sense of despair.
" are you done? " he muttered, he remained unmoved, his voice slightly laced with frustration and exhaustion, yet his demeanor remained the same, " have you ever thought about how maybe i just long for peace and quiet after work? , but i cant do that when you're here! always hovering, always being so god damn overbearing clingy!"
The words stung like a slap to the face, the weight of his accusations crushing beneath their weight. You had never intended to be a burden, to suffocated him with your presence, all you had ever wanted was to be there for him, to support him through it all, so you tried to retaliate, to prove to him that no, you're not overbearing and clingy as he claimed, however he beat you to it.
".. and maybe" he continued, his voice remained stoic "maybe this is just the way i like, maybe i just want to come home and be alone." His eyes finally met yours.
You searched his face for answers, and for the first time, in a long time, you notice a hint of regret behind his eyes. He seemed to realize the weight of his words, his gaze softening with a hint of remorse " i didn't mean it like that" he quickly added. But the damage was done.
" please, y/n , you know i didn't mean it like that " but it's too late, tears have seamlessly rolled down your face.
" you cant do this haechan," you breathed out, your eyes fogged with tears, yet in your clouded peripheral, you can see him slowly approach you, you continue " not when i care so much, not when i stay up late every single night, to make sure you make it home safely! not when i make your favorite meals and have them delivered to you every single day to make sure you're eating well and taking good care of your health, because i care! not when despite me also having a life outside of us, i make sure to be by your side no matter what, because i care, so much haechan, you cant put me through all of this and say im overbearing when im only looking out for you. Do you know how much i long for you? how much i've missed you? how much i love you? and despite all of this, i'm still here! you cant push me away when all i've ever done is be by your side! for the love of god, do you even love me? have you thought about me, and my feelings, once?"
Haechan watched you with heavy eyes, his own fogging up with tears, he cant cry, not when he's put you in this position, not when he's the one that is breaking your heart, the one he promised with all his being to protect. His heart is breaking and its his fault, he too knows it, and he knows he's fucked up big time. His mind is realling with possibilities, with what may happen after this conversation, that he forgot to answer you. " do you even love me? "
To you, he's hesitating to answer, the answer that you wished he could've answered without a second thought, but he stood still, staring at you with wide eyes. Your eyes flicker to his hands, noticing they're softly shaking and you chuckle.
You dont know what decision you made right in that moment, but you needed time, and as you crossed the threshold, you could no longer bear to look at him, to see the regret etched on his face as he stood opposite from you.
And without a second glace, your eyes flickered from his hands to yours, and you look down, for the second time that night, at the shimmering band that clutched your finger, and reached for it, and with a heavy heart, you tossed it onto the bed.
"i'm done." you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper, before turning on your heel, and fleeing from the house, leaving Haechan behind with a whirlwind of desperation and regret.
But he never followed you. He watched you leave, and for a moment, you thought it was over.
But Haechan is far from okay, the second you left, he crumbled, he lost you, the person he cherished the most, the person he promised to protect with all his being, the person he loved so much, that at times, its hard to breath. But in this moment, he finally knew what losing you felt like, his heart is aching, he's having trouble to breath as he sank to the floor, and he has no idea what to do. And with each passing moment he stayed in that room, the deeper the realization of what he had done sunk in, leaving him wracked with guilt and remorse, but he knew he deserved it, for acting the way he did when you meant well.
He knew losing you wasnt an option, his world crumbled around him the second you walked through that door. " fuck ".
Meanwhile, you found yourself in a state of turmoil, the vents of the evening replaying in your mind like a broken record " way to go y/n" you muttered, wiping the remaining tears, and quickly pulling out your phone. With Jaemin on the other line, complaining about the time, you asked him for a favor.
" you think i can spend the night? " you sniffled, the line went dead for a moment and you thought he hung up on you " something happened with haechan? "
you hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to put your feelings into words, " just need a break, can i? " you muttered, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. the line stayed quiet, but you hear soft shuffling on the other end and jaemin finally spoke up " of course you can, how are you getting here? "
" i already called an uber, " you mentioned " ah so you were gonna come even if i said no? " jaemin complained on the other end followed by a soft chuckle.
" you know it " with that your uber arrived and you ended the call, and made your way to jaemins place.
The ride was tense, your mind replaying the evening over and over again, and your mind was getting foggy with exhaustion. But you got to your friend's place quickly , and settled in for the night, all while jaemin made sure you were okay before leaving you alone to rest in the comfort of his dimly lit living room. However, you were restless and you couldn't help but wonder if there was still hope for a reconciliation or if the damage done was too great to repair. But a small part of you knew that its possible, and longed for it.
All the while, in the quiet of his room, jaemin dialed haechan's number, he was worried for the both of you. When haechan's voice came through the line, jaemin noted that he too was a mess, and his voice was dim, a stark contrast to the confident and carefree friend he knew.
Haechan knew you went to jaemin's, as he was the reason you two met in the first place. He knew you were in safe hands but he couldnt help but ask, " is she okay ? ", his voice cracked in the process, his fear and uncertainty laid bare for jaemin to hear, in any other circumstances, he wouldnt ever let his long time friend hear this side of him, but he was scared, he was so scared.
" she's safe, don't worry " he assured the boy, his voice gentle yet firm " she needs time you know? i dont know exactly what happened but im sure you two can bounce back" he hummed , " you two love each other , no matter what happens everything'll be okay, all you need to do is make things right."
Haechan remained silent as he listened to his friend's reassuring words and as the conversation came to an end, they both bid each other a good night and ended the call. Jaemin tossed his phone to the side, and turned over his cats " they'll be okay".
As the morning rolled around, the sunlight softly laid upon haechan's tanned skin, and he groaned in the process. As he opened his eyes, he almost forgot about the other night, but as he looked over to your side of the bed, cold and empty, he knew it happened, of course he knew, he woke up with a heavy heart, tear stained cheeks, and your promise ring was now settled on his pinky finger, and not with you, where it belonged. And he knew what he had to do.
You woke up in the same state, disheveled and miserable.
Looking over, you noticed that no one was home, at least from your point of view, the apartment was dead silent, the only sound came from the cats playing around with their toys laid out on the living room floor. You also made a mental note of the fact that jaemin's bedroom door was wide open, which would be unusual especially if he has guests over.
You slowly got up from the comfort of the couch, and groggily stumbled into his kitchen, the remnants of tears still staining your cheeks, you were greeted by a handwritten note leeft on the countertop for you to find, it read " goodmorning y/n! hope you're feeling somewhat better :( i had to leave for work early this morning, but please make yourself at home since i'll be at work all day ( ps please feed the cats) "
The last part made you giggle as you turn over to the critters standing by you, looking up at you in hopes to get a treat. You quickly got yourself a cup of water, which was the sole reason you left the couch for, all the while looking for cat food.
With a sigh of relief, glass of water in hand, you felt a sense of comfort knowing that you had a safe haven to retreat to in your time of need, and feeling incredibly grateful for having a friend like jaemin. While finding solace with the presence of his kitties, you settled yourself back onto the couch, the warthm of the morning sun filtering throuh the winfow and envelopping you in a cocoon of comfort. However, your mind kept coming back to Haechan, how was he doing? does he miss me? is he already happier with me gone?but your questions remain unanswered for the time being.
Unbeknownst to you, jaemin was busy meeting up with haechan.
As jaemin found haechan slumped over at a nearby park bench, the boy made a mental note to not pester him for his already bad posture. As jaemin approached haechan, he was quickly greeted with a tearful smile, haechan was going through it and this was a side that jaemin never in his life would've thought he'd ever witness. So he made it his mission to help ( to a certain extent ) fix the two of you with his plan.
Jaemin left you alone in his apartment to drag haechan out to buy gifts for you :D, jaemin knew you, he was almost like a brother, and knew that the smallest attention to details would put a smile on your face.
As jaemin and haechan embarked on their mission to make things right, jaemin urged haechan to delve into the memories that had brought you joy. Together, they sifted through the fragments of yours and haechans past, remembering what you loved best, and haechan knew what you loved best, he knew you like the back of his hand.
His mind drifted back to your last anniversay, a bittersweet memory tinged with regret. He remembered the way your eyes lit up with delight when he presented you with a bundle of flowers, each petal a vibrant reminder of his love for you, and each color being your favorite.
" close your eyes my love~" haechan sang, your eyes closed, a soft giggle passing your lips, as the wind soflty blew, you can hear haechan giggling as hes shuffling around to where you're seated.
"open your eyes!" and there he was, sunset in the background as he held up the most beautiful bouquet of flowers, with the flowers you loved, quickly remeniscing on how he has gifted you individual bouquets of each flower on different occasions. Your smile was so bright, haechan's cheeks burned up as up took the bouquet from him, cheerfully thanking him. However he wasnt done, " wait i have another surprise for you!"
as you traced the deliquate petals with trembling hands, your heart heavy with gratitude as the simplest things can make you emotional, you looked over at him, lulled by his voice and away from the beautiful tulips, you noticed the velvet box, your heart pace quickening, as you noticed how nervous he was. you knew he wasnt proposing, you two were far too young for mariage, but you knew you wanted to marry him.
" pretty girl, the most beautiful girl ive ever laid my eyes upon, you are my one and only, and i promise you," he giggled before continuing, "that no matter the hardships we may encounter, my undying love for you will never fade away, this ring, is a symbol of my loyalty, my love, and my entire being, handed over to you, i forever will love you" and with that he slipped the ring onto your finger.
Haechan smiled at that thought, while another memory surfaced haechans mind, one of a random night spent lounging on the couch with you.
" you ever been on a picninc? " you asked lazily, stretched over your boyfriend, reaching for the remote control that laid by his side "no, why? " he asked, pushing you down onto him as you squealed in his embrace, landing a quick kiss on his cheek as you settled into his arms.
" ive always wanted to go on one, mom used to tell me all about the picnic dates my dad used to take her on, i guess i wanna go too" you shrugged, haechan looked over you, fondness evident in his eyes, as he softly smiled at the thought. " then why not go on one now?"
" the weather has been ass lately" you frowned " sucks that its during your break too, we could be going on picnics every day if we wanted to if it werent for the 24/7 rain storms"
" then ill clear out my schedule once the weather gets better" he murmured into your neck, hugging you tighter, melting into you and your scent. You once again squealed, jumping out of his embrace " really? "
" of course, id do anything for you my love"
That was a month ago, the weather cleared up a month ago, and haechan felt his heartstrings tug for the up-tenth time that morning. He promised you so much, yet never kept them. And for that, he swore to be a better man for you, if you'd give him a second chance.
As much as spending time alone felt great, you missed haechan so dearly, despite being alone wasnt any different in your own home for the past month or so, you cant help but long for his presence, even just the sight of him would be enough for you. And thats when you knew, you needed him back.
You knew he didn't mean what he said last night, at least you hoped he didn't, but in this moment, after hours of consideration, being once again left alone with your wandering mind, you knew you needed him in your life, and you would be willing to go through it all over again if it meant having him back in your arms.
You decided that, it was time to go talk to him again, only now noticing the bombarding messages he left you the last night, since you had turned your phone off once you had made it to jaemins.
However, he didnt leave any calls or messages today, sending you back onto your train of thoughts, but if he wasnt gonna come talk to you, you'll be the one doing so. Lazily, you finally left the couch and cleaned up after yourself, folding the blankets and putting the pillows back in place.
You're gonna go home, and face haechan. While cleaning up, you made a mental note to text jaemin and thank him for accomating you before leaving.
you - jaems! i think ill head home soon, thank you for letting me stay over <3
As you sent the message, you noticed he viewed it oddly quickly, seeinf as how he was at work, he swiflty replied not even a second later.
jaems - you're welcome! but do you think you can look after the cats for a while, they get sad when left alone, pretty please :D
You knew there wasnt an easy way out, plus you loved his cats, maybe this'll give you some more time to think about what to say to haechan. You sighed,
As Haechan and Jaemin approached Jaemin's apartment, the weight of the picnic basket filled with delicious treats and the bouquets of your favorite flowers in Haechan's hands felt both comforting and daunting. With each step closer to the door, Haechan's heart raced with nervous anticipation.
Jaemin offered a reassuring pat on Haechan's back before retreating down to the garage in his car, leaving Haechan standing alone at the threshold of his friend's home. With a deep breath to steady his nerves, Haechan squared his shoulders and raised his hand to knock on the door.
As his knuckles rapped gently against the wood, Haechan felt a surge of hope and determination coursing through him. He prayed silently that this gesture, made in the comfort of Jaemin's friendly abode, would be the first step towards healing the wounds that had divided you. With the promise ring tucked safely in his pocket, a tangible symbol of his commitment to you, in which he was ready to once again promise to, Haechan waited with bated breath for the door to open, his heart filled with a mixture of anticipation and trepidation.
Unbeknownst to you, you opened the door and saw Haechan standing there, a wave of conflicting emotions washed over you. Sadness mingled with relief, happiness mixed with apprehension, as you took in the sight of him standing before you, his eyes are sunken, dark circles evident.
With a heavy heart, Haechan stepped forward, his eyes filled with tears already threatening to pour. "I'm so sorry," he began, his voice trembling with emotion. "I should have never pushed you away, especially knowing that you were the only person keeping me sane and happy."
" i should have never ignored you, ignored your efforts, the love you gave to me, cannot and will never be replaced, i love you so much, and i failed to show you my appreciation for even being with me through all of this, i failed to give you the world, to protect you. My stress due to work shouldve never been an excuse for distancing myself from you, i should have never spoken to you the way i did, my love, im so sorry " his words carried the weight of his guilt, the sincerity in his apology evident in every syllable.
"If you give me this second chance," Haechan continued, his voice pleading, "I promise I'll never make you doubt yourself ever again. I'll cherish you and hold you close, never taking your love for granted."
In that moment, as you listened to his heartfelt apology, you couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope stirring within you.
With a trembling voice and tears in your eyes, you nodded. And as you opened your arms to welcome Haechan back into your life, you knew that this second chance gave way for a better future, all relationships have its ups and downs, but you knew everything'll be okay in the end.
As you accepted Haechan's heartfelt apology, a sense of relief washed over both of you, lifting the heavy burden that had weighed on your hearts. With tears still glistening in your eyes, you embraced him tightly, feeling the warmth of his embrace, and all those feelings over heartache, disappeared.
Haechan, for the second time, reached into his pocket and pulled out the promise ring, a sense of deja vu washed over you two, and with a tender smile, he slipped it back onto your finger, a silent promise to be a better man, to cherish and honor you with every beat of his heart.
Haechan's eyes sparkled with determination as he made a silent vow to make things right, to be the partner you deserved. He pulled you into a passionate kiss, sealing that promise he made to you.
"And now," Haechan said, his voice filled with excitement, "I'm finally going to take you on that picnic trip you've been wanting to go to."
Your eyes lit up with joy at the prospect, the thought of spending a day in the sunshine with Haechan filling you with happiness. But before you could reply, he added with a chuckle, "But first, we'll have to drive back home to get ready."
With a nod and a smile, you agreed, giggling for the first time that day, and feeling a sense of anticipation building within you, cause like jaemin said, everything'll be alright.
