IN SUMMARY : Dispatch releases a statement claiming Kwon Ohyul & Y/n L/n are in a relationship. Absolutely no one believes it. Kwon Ohyul & L/n Y/n are actually in a relationship.....
Pause ⏸ : Yes this will be a series. Yes i have the next 2 parts planned out in my head (i just have to commit). No i didn't proofread my work. I probably should....
SYNOPSIS: seonghyeon just wants you to stay still, especially when all he can think about is you - or rather, your lips. eom seonghyeon x f!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS: um… hot stove? skinship/kissing, seonghyeon clingy af as fuck
WC: 1.3k
NOW PLAYING: stand still, sabrina claudio (4:43 min)
MIXTAPE: MASTERLIST
seonghyeon nearly crashes into the wall walking through the front door.
he can hear your little giggle at his commotion, floating in from where you’re currently strewn across the couch. a movie is playing on the tv, background noise as you stand to greet him.
‘hi, hyeon. you alright there? almost brought the shoe rack down.’ your arms encircle his waist as seonghyeon groans in exhaustion.
‘missed you today.’ he mumbles into your neck, breath coming out in slow puffs as he relaxes in the presence of you.
‘yeah?’
‘yeah.’
another beat passes, slow and languid, the pair of you standing in the middle of the living room as seonghyeon decompresses. the only light source is from the kitchen, spilling onto the floorboards.
‘you hungry?’ his head moves against your neck yes, ‘let me make you some ramen, okay?’
your arms move to detach from where they’ve found a home around his middle, though your movements are halted by a faint murmur.
‘wait, stand still.’
‘what’s wrong? you don’t want to eat?’
‘no i wanna, just one thing first.’ seonghyeon lifts his head away from where he’s been buried against your skin for the past minute, hands travelling to the sides of your face.
your own hands move to relax against his chest, feeling the slow, consistent thump underneath. it was interesting, seonghyeon thinks, how his heartbeat had never really quickened around you, always slowing down instead.
you’d explained it to him one night in bed, ear above his heart as his fingers ran up and down your spine. something about the brain releasing oxytocin and the nervous system calming. he had agreed silently, thinking it was beautiful that someone could be safe enough for another to slow down.
he was safe now, thumb brushing against the line of your jaw, other hand lowering to where your neck and shoulder meet.
‘want a kiss first.’
‘you stopped me from feeding you because you want a kiss.’ an amused smirk makes its way onto your face.
seonghyeon, dead serious, smooths out the curl of your lips, nodding slightly before lowering his forehead to meet yours.
‘been thinking ‘bout it all day, baby. keonho was getting on my nerves and i kept thinking that, if you were there, i could’ve kissed you,’ his lips land on your forehead.
‘or held you,’ kiss on your left cheek.
‘or complained about how tough the choreo was and you’d comfort me.’ another on your nose.
his eyes are half-open, have been since he walked (or rather, crashed) through the door a few minutes ago. they lower to meet yours, sincere and earnest and desperate.
‘just kiss me already, stupid.’
he listens, always does when it comes to you.
it’s soft, almost like a wave crashing onto shore as he finally feels your mouth move against his.
slow, as he revels in the relief of your touch.
reverent, cradling your face as you grip his shirt, pulling him closer towards you.
when you part from each other, gradually, as if the separation of skin might hurt (which it does for seonghyeon, deep in his heart) he chases after your lips, left hand travelling down to your lower back.
you oblige, letting him graze his right thumb against your brow bone before tilting his head towards you again. there was that faint taste of vanilla and coffee he always carried, undoubtedly from his caffeine overconsumption he never admits to.
seonghyeon decides, in that moment, tongue licking lazily at your lower lip, your mouth might be the means to his death, and also the reason he chooses rebirth.
he can feel you pull away from him, mouth red and slightly glossy from your lip balm.
‘better?’
he pretends to think, shifting you in his arms before diving onto the couch, using you as cushioning.
your laugh rings out, echoing against the walls of the apartment as he hides his smile in the crook of your neck. seonghyeon raises his head as quiet starts to settle again, smiling unhurriedly at your slightly unimpressed look.
‘can you make me ramen now?’
‘unbelievable.’ but you still shift under the weight of him, moving towards the kitchen.
as the water boils, he makes his way towards where you’re leaning against the bench top. in front of you, it’s clear that seonghyeon’s about to fall asleep standing, so you open your arms, and he falls into them without argument.
his head rests against your shoulder, and you let yours fall against his mess of hair.
‘tired?’
‘mhm.’
he stands upright, arms moving to surround your body with his own, before placing a feathery kiss against your cheek bone. his eyes are shut by now, lashed fluttering against the smooth expanse of his skin.
‘hyeon.’
‘hm.’
‘go to bed.’
‘no, wanna eat first.’ seonghyeon’s words are slurring a little, giving away the full extent of his exhaustion.
you try and manoeuvre yourself from where he has you trapped against the bench, but he’s having none of it.
‘stay still, baby.’ you listen, movements halting for a second because he sounds needy.
‘the water’s boiling now, lovie. don’t you want food?’
an unintelligible noise comes out of his mouth, though it’s replaced by one of surprise from you as he captures your lips in yet another kiss.
this one is a little more frantic, a little less careful, like he has feelings to convey that can’t be said. it’s yearning, the way seonghyeon’s gripping onto the back of your shirt like you’re his last hope.
and maybe you are, considering the fact that his days are spent with four other boys who don’t understand the full capacity of his love for you.
when you push at his chest for air, he gives the space reluctantly, physically unwilling to give you too much of it. now that he has you in his atmosphere, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to keep you in it.
‘you’re so clingy tonight, hyeon. you okay?’ your fingers weave their way into his hair, massaging slowly as his eyes waver shut again.
‘missed you, s’all.’
‘i can tell. feels like you’re trying to eat me.’ he laughs at that, little huffs that come out slower than usual.
you manage to twist yourself out of his grasp, tending to the stove as seonghyeon wraps himself around you again. he’s not speaking and neither are you, content to let the late night fade into this one moment of peace.
when you bring the pot over to the bench, silent eyes instructing him to sit and eat, something descends in seonghyeon’s chest, slow, and steady, the same way your eyes map out his movements. it’s in that moment he realises there may never come a day where he himself may comprehend the love he carries for you, much less anyone else around him. and he thinks he’s okay with that, as long as you allow him to spend the rest of your shared lifetime trying to show it to you.
your elbows lean against the counter, observing the sharp slant of his nose, the pink of his cheeks, feeling a warmth only seonghyeon’s presence delivers.
‘eat fast, baby. i wanna sleep.’
your words, though carrying a teasing lilt, are soft, affectionate, entirely only for him in a way that seems too intimate even between the two of you.
internally, while sneaking glances at each other, seonghyeon thinks: he’s glad you stayed still when he asked, because the mouth can convey more than just words.
and your mouth might just be the prettiest translator he’s ever encountered.
‘time stands still,
while we stand here’
seonghyeon bias wrecks sb i haven’t written anything for juhoon… and i KNOW i said angst next but… domesticity 🙁🙁🙁
also life update i’ve been diagnosed anaemic wow!! be prepared i WILL be blaming writer’s block on this.
- ceecee’s contribution ⋆˚࿔♫⋆˚࿔
EX!cortis member! keonho X EX! katseye member! reader
synopsis: as members of two of the biggest idol groups in the industry, their relationship was falling apart. no matter how packed her schedule was as a KATSEYE member, y/n always made time for him. yet every time she needed him, he was too busy, too distracted, or simply not there. after months of feeling unloved and forgotten, y/n finally reached her breaking point and ended their relationship. keonho was left devastated, by the time he realized how much he had taken her for granted, it was already too late. now, with y/n keeping her distance and their careers constantly putting them in each other's orbit, keonho is determined to get his girl back.
01. | 02.
AUTHORS NOTE- hi guys! sorry it took so long to upload part 2✌️I've been freaking slacking it! but here y'all go. and don't forget, if you guys have any ideas or recommendations to help this new story grow and keep it alive (since I high-key get writers block) feel free to comment your ideas! same goes for any new stories as-well that you guys want me to write! thank you for the support❣️alsoooo have y'all seen the martin and matt proxy situation? martin needs to stop recommending us songs to some ungrateful ahh artists.
bitch!Seonghyeon x bitch!Reader ⋮ 1shot ⋮ bananagirl masterlist
Desc - you and Seonghyeon are secretly in a “friends that kiss” relationship but both of you are okay with that, you both agreed to keep it between the two of you and decided not to tell anyone else about your strictly keep it in the room deal because it’ll just be complicated considering you both don’t want to commit to one another, but a secret part of both of you want to make it public and put a label on it but due to your guys’ own stupidity you both will never admit that.
Tags - Friends who kiss / They are both lowkey bitches / situationship / dry texting / commitmentphobes / sorry this was random and short i blame the two hour car ride
Songs - 1975 - If you’re too shy (Let me know) / Blink-182 - Bored to Death / Lit - Over my head
syn: the nerd you like is completely oblivious to the fact that you like him. so, you do what any sane (?) person would do. you make a list of 10 ways to bag this nerd and make him your nerd.
playlist: apple cider by beabadoobee / the kamisama kiss intro by hanae / cupids chokehold by gym class hereos
iro's notes: HEAVILY inspired by @satolune's twenty ways to make a nerd yours !! give it a read this is so fucking cute :( and again thank u sm moon for letting me use ur idea for my own spin off 🙈 u my goat THANK U THANK U THANK YOUUUU, all creds 2 her!!!
Eom Seonghyeon. He sat next to you in physics and math. At first glance, he looked like every other campus pretty boy. Which sounds corny, but there really wasn't any other way to describe him. He was pretty. He was tall. He was loud, with the kind of smile that spread before you even realized you were smiling back.
Everyone knew him.
Not because he was particularly popular, though he was. It was because he was friendly. Ridiculously so. Walking across campus with Seonghyeon meant adding at least five extra minutes to wherever you were going. Every few steps, someone would wave him over. A classmate, someone who he gave his notes to or someone from the football club you'd never met.
He was also the biggest nerd you knew. The first time you sat next to him was in math. You zoned out looking at a problem. He slowly leaned in closer to your sheet as he held his hand out. You glanced at him confused. He simply pointed at your pencil.
“You know how to solve this?”
He simply nodded before tapping the pencil on the sheet. “Use the power rule here.” He said as he drew an arrow on your sheet. “You're taking the derivative, not the integral.” He scribbled his words down beside the arrow, marking it with a little star on top. For the rest of the class, he explained your concepts better than the teacher.
After that day, you sat next to him during math and physics. And he seemed to not mind at all.
You tapped his shoulder, “Seonghyeon, what do I do now?”
He glanced at your sheet, “take the horizontal and vertical components separately, it’s easier.”
Amidst solving, you realised you never asked him if it's ok for you to sit beside him. “Seonghyeon?”
“Hm?”
“Is it okay if I sit beside you?”
He chuckled, “You always sit beside me, why ask now?”
You glanced at him before looking back down at your notebook. “In case you sat with someone else.”
“Nah, I don’t have many friends.”
You scoffed, “Seriously?”
He tilted his head, glancing at you for a second, “Not as many as you think.”
“You say hi to like 50 people everyday.”
“Just because I’m friendly with them doesn’t mean I'm close to them.”
For someone so smart, he was incredibly dense and utterly oblivious to the fact that you liked him. He never noticed how you saved a seat for him. Never noticed the extra pen you carried for him because he always threw his pens into his bag—always struggling to pick it up from the bottom of his book-filled bag. Maybe he noticed, maybe he just thought you were being nice. Either way, it was starting to drive you insane.
So you did what any perfectly rational person would do.
You made a list. A list to make this nerd, your nerd.
It wasn’t supposed to be serious. Just something stupid you’d tell your friend every night.
You: Seonghyeon really likes hot vanilla latte. So cute right?
Iroha: Girl it’s a vanilla latte, the fuck are you on?
And slowly, the list grew. Grew into something that looked like this:
1) Asking him to explain something, not because you don’t know. But because of the way he lights up.
Seonghyeon was a nerd. That much had already been established. Apart from patiently walking you through calculus and physics every other day, you'd noticed something else while walking to the cafeteria together. You randomly asked, “Why does plastic turn white when bent?”
He stopped walking. Like actually stopped walking. You turned around only to find him staring at you with a big smile on his face. You couldn't help but smile back. Your eyebrows furrowed, “What?”
“I’m glad you asked.”
For the remaining 20 minutes of recess, you were being schooled on polymers and how light reflects differently on different types of polymers.
2) Have his favourite acai toppings memorised.
Seonghyeon insited that toppings on acai didn't matter.
“They all taste the same”
They didn't.
Because every single time his bowl came with blueberries, strawberries and banana, there'd be the tiniest smile on his face before he took the first bite. So it became routine for you to stop by the nearest cafe. Always grabbing him an acai bowl without being told to do so.
3) Always tell him how helpful the little notes he scribbles on your notebook.
Seonghyeon has a habit of noting down stuff besides problems he doesn't get or messes up. He has a system. When it’s something trivial—a common mistake like the humble ‘z’ turning into a 2 mid-equation. It got starred once.
★ watch your handwriting. Don’t rush
The number of stars increased as the mistake revolved around something he didn’t understand. The maximum being 3. Two stars for when it was a concept he didn’t grasp initially and 3 for something he needed to go through all over again.
So whenever something he taught you was on the exam. Majorly the whole exam. You’d run up to him, jumping excitedly as you said, “Your little notes helped!”
Sometimes during classes he’d lean over to see what you’re doing and smile despite himself whenever he saw you follow his system. And with how much he helps you, you gave him a nickname. Calling him professor whenever you need his help.
4) Text him something stupid and let him overthink it.
Seonghyeon may be the most outgoing, loud and friendly person you have ever met. But when friendships carry more than saying-hi-in-the-corridor value to him, he overthinks all of his actions.
Once around 3 a.m you texted him, would u still send me notes if i was a worm?
You were left on seen for 20 minutes. Not because he ignored you, but because he drafted 5 messages before finally sending you one which was still, insanely unhinged.
Another time, you asked him if fishes ever get thirsty
Not only did he reply 20 minutes later, he also called you up immediately after. You spent the whole night listening to him research about this. It’s safe to say, if anyone ever asks him this again—they’ll receive his infamous nerd-out sessions.
5) Compliment him, not his looks.
Seonghyeon’s gorgeous, no surprise there. Walking around campus with him meant girls turning their heads in attempts to seek just one more glance at him. Needless to say, he too knew he was handsome. He was told so multiple times daily. By a random woman on the bus, by his friends, even teachers.
So why would you compliment his features like everyone else?
Instead, you complimented the way he thought.
You watched as he solved a sum for you. He scooted his chair closer, leaning in as he went on and on about various ways to go about this sum. Frankly, you weren’t listening. You rested your head on the table, spacing out staring at him.
‘You could always evaluate the limit first. Oh! You can also–” his eyes landed on you. You were staring up at him. Your eyes never leaving his face. Heat crept to his neck, his ears visibly red. “What?”
You hummed, slowly sitting straight. “How do you think like this?”
He blinked, “What do you mean?”
“You seem to solve complex questions so easily. It’s crazy how you think this way you know.”
Watching him go quiet and be all flustered in a way he never is was something you could never get tired of.
6) Taking care of him when he forgets to.
Exam season always hit him too hard. He had a title to carry. People always expected Seonghyeons name to be on top of the grade listings. During exam season, he’d always sleep less, eat less and stress a lot more than he should.
You’d watch him spend 12 hours straight in the library. No breaks. Not even to drink water. So, you always stopped by with takeout. Sitting beside him as you sweeped his notebooks and ipad to the side. Slamming the bag of food on the table.
“Eat.”
“But I haven’t—”
“Eat.”
You never gave him an option.
7) Always steal his jackets in the winter.
You always ‘forgot’ to carry something to throw on in the winter. The cool breeze hits you and Seonghyeon the second you both step out the campus. Involuntarily, both your hands start rubbing your arms, trying to warm yourself up. Seonghyeon’s gaze lingers on you for a while, before he takes a layer off.
He wraps his jacket around you, “Here.”
“Hyeon, you don’t have to it’s okay.” You say, taking the jacket off of your back. You extend your hand forward, ‘You’ll get cold.”
He simply pushes your hand back as he starts walking. “I have a sweater on, all you’re wearing is a tank top.” You run, catching up to him. “What kind of idiot wears a tank top in the winters?”
You whine, “The library has heaters!”
Before giving him his jacket back, you made sure to spray an excessive amount of your perfume on it. Just enough that anyone standing a little too close would wonder why Eom Seonghyeon smelled like a girl instead of laundry detergent. And when he threw his jacket on while roaming with his friends. He was bombarded with questions.
“Why do you smell like a girl?” Juhoon asked.
James leaned in closer to Seonghyeon, sniffing the jacket thoroughly. “You smell like Yn.”
To which Seonghyeon didn’t respond, but his flushed face said it all.
8) Let him talk about his family and actually listen.
Seonghyeon was an older brother. Which explained why he acted more like a second parent than a sibling half the time. He worried too much, overthought everything and somehow always found himself asking you what to do whenever it involved his younger sister. "I don't know what to tell her," he'd sighed one afternoon, resting his chin in his palm. "That guy's not serious about her."
You looked up from your notes. "Make a pros and cons list with her."
He blinked. "...A pros and cons list?"
"You like lists."
A laugh escaped him. "Fair enough."
About a week later, he walked into class looking noticeably lighter. You barely got the chance to say good morning before asking, "Something good happen?"
"My sister finally broke up with him."
"Oh." You smiled to yourself before returning to your notes. "I'm glad."
He ended up talking about it for the rest of lunch. A month later, the two of you were studying in the library when you looked up from your laptop. "Have you figured out what you're getting your parents for their anniversary?"
His pencil stopped moving. "...You remembered that?"
You frowned. "You told me."
"I know, but..." He scratched the back of his neck, suddenly avoiding your gaze. "You actually remembered."
You only smiled before pushing your physics worksheet towards him. "So, are you going to help me with this question or not?"
He let out a quiet laugh, still smiling to himself as he reached for your pencil.
9) Let him see you sad.
Not because you want comfort, but because you want him to know that it’s okay for him to be vulnerable around you too. You'd spent months watching him carry everyone else's worries on his shoulders. His sister's problems, exam stress, group projects, friends asking him for help every five minutes. Yet somehow, whenever you asked him how he was doing, his answer was always the same. "I'm okay."
You wondered if anyone had ever shown him that he didn't always have to be.
The chemistry exam had gone horribly. Not just badly, horribly.
By the time you got to the library, you'd already convinced yourself you'd failed. Your calculus worksheet sat open in front of you, but you'd been staring at the same question for nearly ten minutes, pencil unmoving. "You've been on that derivative for a while."
You looked up. Seonghyeon stood beside your chair, backpack slung over one shoulder. "I'm just... kinda sad about the chemistry exam." You smiled, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. "Nothing else."
He studied your face for a second before nodding. "Wait here."
"Huh?"
He was already gone. A few minutes later, he came back carrying your favourite chocolate and quietly placed it on top of your notebook. "You forgot to eat."
You blinked. "...Chocolate?"
He rubbed the back of his neck. "I figured it'd help."
Your fingers curled around it. "You didn't have to."
"Don't worry about the chemistry test." He smiled, the same reassuring smile he'd worn the first day he'd taught you the power rule. "You're smart. It's one exam."
Before you could answer, he reached over and gently patted your head. Your heart practically stopped. "You really didn't have to do all this."
"I wanted to." He shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You always look after me." His smile softened. "Let me return the favour."
For someone who spent so much time taking care of everyone else...It was nice to know someone wanted to take care of him, too.
10) Make the first move cus u a girlboss.
Because he won't, not because he doesn't want to. He's just spent so long convincing himself he was imagining it that he'd rather die than risk getting it wrong. It was almost two in the morning by the time the two of you finally gave up. The calculus question you'd spent nearly forty minutes arguing over turned out to be wrong in the answer key. "You've got to be kidding me."
"I refuse to believe I lost sleep over a typo."
It was only fair the two of you walked across the street to the convenience store. Energy drinks for him. Chocolate milk for you. Maybe something sweet to make up for how tired you both were. Halfway through paying, rain hammered against the windows. By the time you stepped outside, it had turned into a downpour. "...Fuck." You looked over. "I don't have an umbrella."
You lifted your drink. "Me neither."
Neither of you moved. The tiny awning barely covered the entrance, rain splashing onto your shoes every time the wind picked up. Cars drove past, headlights reflecting off the wet pavement. You tilted your head back. "The moon's pretty tonight."
Seonghyeon followed your gaze before laughing quietly. "You can only see part of it because the sunlight's hitting—"
You stopped listening. For the first time since you'd met him, you stopped listening. Instead, you watched the way his eyes lit up whenever he explained something. The way his hands moved without him realizing. The tiny crease between his brows whenever he was trying to find the right words.
Cute.
God.
He was so unbelievably cute.
Before your brain could catch up, your hand had already reached for the front of his jacket. He blinked, sentence dying halfway through. "Hm?"
You stepped closer. Close enough to see the few raindrops that got caught in his hair because of the air blowing the drops. Close enough that his breathing faltered.
"Seonghyeon."
"...Yeah?"
You looked up at him. "Can I kiss you?"
His ears turned pink, he didn't say anything for a while. He just stared. And then, a tiny nod.
You smiled. "Use your words."
"...Yes."
You rose onto your tiptoes, one hand still clutching the front of his jacket, and kissed him. His hand caressed your cheek. The kiss was slow and gentle, the type of kiss that blurred out the sounds of everything happening in a distance.
When you pulled away, Seonghyeon hadn't moved an inch. He simply stood there, eyes wide, face completely red. You couldn't help laughing. "Got nothing to say?"
He blinked, then covered his face with one hand. "Hold on. I can't think."
synopsis: you had initially thought martin edwards was your typical rockstar, collecting girls like they were trophies on a daily, but you soon realised how wrong you were.
To be a rockstar's girlfriend you needed to be many things: prepared for the intruding eyes of the public, ready for the endless girls throwing themselves at your boyfriend's feet, but most of all—if you wanted him completely obsessed—you needed to be cooler than him.
For a star like Martin Edwards, that was a tall order. Lead singer of his band, his face plastered across every magazine, his voice the anthem of a generation. He'd never publicly acknowledged a relationship, never shown interest in anyone. The endless fangirls bordering on stalkers made him paranoid—he'd rather be alone than risk letting a stranger in. He'd built his career on being untouchable, the kind of guy who left girls crying in their bedrooms, not the other way around.
Paris Fashion Week wasn't his scene at all. He'd almost skipped it, told his manager to shove the invitation somewhere unpleasant, but something pulled him there, a restless itch he couldn't explain, a feeling that he'd miss something important if he didn't go.
He came decked in black: scuffed combat boots, leather trousers that hugged his thighs, a faded CORTIS tour tee from two years ago. He looked bored, slouched in his front-row seat like he'd rather be anywhere else, fingers drumming against his knee as models glided by in designer gowns and sky-high heels. The music was too polished, the lights too bright, the whole affair too clean for his taste. He was about to get up and leave when you emerged.
You walked the runway like you owned it, wearing stunning floor-length gown in champagne silk that caught every light, a slit that went dangerously high, heels so sharp they could kill a man. You didn't smile, didn't wave, instead you moved like you were born for this, shoulders back, chin high, utterly untouchable.
His jaw went slack and his drumming fingers stilled. For the first time in years, Martin Edwards was speechless. His mind was hollow, entirely empty of any rational thought that would have been screaming at him to snap out of it before his reputation of being untouchable is completely destroyed. Instead there was one simple line repeating like a mantra.
He needed you. He needed you more than he'd ever needed anything.
You didn't look at him once. Your gaze swept over the front row like they were furniture, as though he was just another piece of decor, and that only made it worse.
At the end of the runway, you turned. For a split second, your eyes met his. You lifted one eyebrow by just a fraction—a flicker of curiosity, a silent question—before your expression smoothed back to perfect neutrality and you were gone, disappearing behind the velvet curtains.
He didn't even remember the rest of the show. He sat there like a statue, his mind replaying that single moment in an endless loop.
What he didn't know was that it had all been photographed. By morning, his slack-jawed, lovesick stare was splashed across every tabloid and newspaper in the country.
"ROCKSTAR RAVENOUS! Martin Edwards' Heart Snatched by Parisian Mystery Muse!" Screamed the front page of The Sun, complete with a grainy photo of his stunned face. "WHO IS THE SIREN IN HEELS?" Demanded the Daily Mail. Even the fashion magazines got in on it: Vogue ran a two-page spread speculating about the mysterious model who'd made the ‘Prince of Darkness’ lose his cool, complete with freeze-frames of that one eyebrow raise.
Martin sat in his hotel room the next evening staring at his own exposed face on every newsstand. The mask he'd worn for years—the untouchable, brooding rockstar—was gone. Everyone had seen him unravel in real time.
A slow grin spread across his face as he scanned the endless pages.
Good. Now you’d know exactly who was coming for you.
Two weeks later, you arrived back in New York following the event, doing everything in your power to try to forget the weird rockstar who stared at you like you'd personally ruined his life. You were in your penthouse apartment, a copy of Paper magazine with his lovesick face plastered across it on your marble coffee table. Your agent had been calling nonstop, thrilled about the publicity, already scheming about how to leverage it for your next campaign.
Your phone suddenly began ringing and you almost ignored it entirely, tired of the constant need for people to speak to you, but something pushed you to pick up.
"Hello?"
A low voice, rough and amused, crackled through the receiver. "That was a hell of a walk. Almost made me forget my own name."
You instantly froze. You knew that voice—you’d heard it enough times on the radio, on MTV, blasting from cars in traffic. The voice of a generation, the voice of every teenage girl's bedroom wall.
"Martin Edwards," you said flatly, sinking onto your velvet chaise. "How the hell did you get my number?"
"You're a model," he replied, like that explainef everything. "I'm a rockstar. I have people."
"You have stalkers, you mean."
He laughed a genuine, surprised sound, not the polished chuckle he typically gives interviews. "Yeah, maybe. But I'm not a stalker, I'm just..." He paused and you bit your lip slightly, unsure on why the silence made you nervous. "Determined."
You should have hung up and slammed the phone down and called your doorman to make sure no one gets past the lobby. You knew exactly what this was: a rockstar with a new fixation, chasing the next shiny thing, bored of groupies and looking for a challenge.
"Listen, rockstar," you said, your voice dropping to something cold and sharp. "I don't do groupies, I don't do fans, and I definitely don't do men who think they can just call me up because they saw me on a runway."
Silence came from his end. Then, quietly: "I don't want a fan. I want you."
"You don't know me."
"Then let me."
You chewed your lip, staring at your reflection in the dark window of your apartment—the skyline glittered before you, the city that never sleeps hummed twenty floors below. You've dated musicians before and it's always a disaster: the cheating, the lies, the constant parade of women throwing themselves at them. Martin Edwards was the biggest of them all. A tabloid regular; a walking red flag in scuffed boots and leather.
Though there was a rawness in his voice that caught you off guard and made you pause.
"I'm busy," you answeref, though the slight smile you were attempting to suppress suggested differently.
"Friday. 8pm. I'll send a car."
"I didn't say yes."
"You didn't say no."
You hung up before he could say anything else, but you made sure to write his number down on a scrap of paper incase he ever called again. Just in case.
Friday night arrived and you put on a silk black slip dress with barely there straps. The stretch of fabric falling just above your knee and you added strappy heels that made your legs look endless, folowed by a delicate necklace before you styled your hair loose and glossy.
You looked in the mirror and reminded yourself that you didn’t care what rockstar Martin Edwards thought of you, he was the same as every other male musician that latched onto women for a few weeks before getting bored.
You smoothed down the dress one last time, adjusting the thin straps on your shoulders before grabbing a small clutch, slipping your phone inside and taking a breath.
The town car waited outside your building, sleek and black, a driver holding the door open like this was completely normal. You slid into the leather backseat and watched the city blur past as he drove you downtown.
The jazz bar was hidden in the Village, tucked away behind an unmarked door you would have walked right past if the driver hadn't pointed it out. Inside, it was all exposed brick and dim amber light, a saxophone player in the corner crooning something slow and sad. The place was intimate, almost empty, a few couples scattered at tables alongside a bartender polishing glasses.
And there he was.
Martin Edwards sat in a corner booth, dressed down in a simple black sweater and dark jeans, his hair pushed back from his face. His fingers tapped against the tabletop in a restless rhythm, and when he saw you approach, he stood up so fast he nearly knocked over his drink.
"You came," he said, genuine surprise in his voice.
"You sent a car. It seemed rude to waste gas."
He grinned at your words. "I'll take it."
You slid into the booth across from him, crossing your legs, the slit of your dress falling open just slightly.
"So," you said, leaning back. "What's your angle?"
"No angle."
"Bullshit."
He laughed, running a hand through his hair. "I don't have an angle. I just saw you on that runway and couldn't stop thinking about you. That's it. That's the whole thing."
"You haven’t even asked for my name."
"I already know it's Y/N."
You tilted your head, studying him. He wasn't performing for you—not the way he performed on stage, not the way he performed in interviews. He was just here, nervous but trying.
"Okay," you said slowly. "One drink. If you bore me I'm gone."
"Deal."
You ended up staying until the bar closed. He didn't bore you. Instead he made you laugh whilst looking at you like you were the only person in the room, and when he walked you to your door at 3am, he didn't try to come in. He just stood there, hands in his pockets, memorising every detail of you with a slight smirk residing on his lips.
"Same time next week?" He asked, tilting his head just a fraction.
You should have said no and walked inside and forgotten this ever happened. Instead, you smiled. "Maybe."
Safe to say, Martin Edwards was a hard man to shake.
He had a way of appearing when you least expected him: a bouquet of peonies delivered to your apartment the morning after your first date, a handwritten note slipped under your door alongside it that revealed far more emotional depth than a rockstar of his realm should technically possess. He called you at odd hours from the road, his voice rough and tired, just to hear you say goodnight. He sent you playlists filled with unreleased songs he'd recorded himself that were burned onto discs, his voice cracking over stolen lyrics he'd rewritten just for you.
He was relentless, and worse, he was charming.
It started small with a dinner here and a walk there. He took you to dive bars and rooftop restaurants, to galleries and late-night diners. He never brought you to anything flashy, never paraded you around like a trophy. He kept you hidden, protected, his own private secret in a world that wanted to consume him.
You let him do it all because despite every instinct screaming at you to run, to protect yourself from the inevitable heartbreak of dating a rockstar, Martin Edwards made it impossible to resist.
He remembered everything—your coffee order, your favourite movie, the way you liked your eggs in the morning. He learned the exact pressure of his hand on your lower back that made you shiver when he guided you through crowds. He learned the exact rhythm of your breathing when you fell asleep on his chest.
He was careful with you in a way you hadn't expected.
And slowly, without even realising it, you fell.
Within two months of knowing you Martin was already inviting you backstage to his shows, keeping you hidden and protected from the intruding crowd. It was at one of these shows when he had pulled you behind a pillar, the rest of the world becoming nonexistent as his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you tightly against him, his forehead dropping to uour shoulder.
You hesitated for a moment before reaching your hand up and letting your fingers sift through his strands, the sigh of relief he let out showing you were doing the right thing.
The two of you remained in that position much longer than what was considered normal, though neither of you cared, too swept up in the moment.
Eventually you heard him say something, his words muffled against your jacket.
“What?” You asked softly, a small smile resting on your lips. He lifted his head up, his hair standing up in multiple directions from all your ruffling, and he very much did not look like the hardcore rockstar many of his fans saw him to be.
"I said," he murmured, his voice rough, "I think I'm in trouble."
You raised an eyebrow. "What kind of trouble?"
"The kind where I can't stop thinking about you." He reached up, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear as you felt your cheeks redden just slightly at the gesture. "The kind where I don't want to be on stage unless I know you're watching. The kind where I wake up and the first thing I do is reach for you, even when you're not there."
Your heart stuttered in your chest, your gaze softening at his words. "Martin—"
"I know it's fast. I know we've only known each other two months. I know you probably think I'm just some rockstar who gets bored easily and moves on to the next thing." He let out a breath, his forehead dropping back to your shoulder. "But you're not the next thing, you're the only thing for me."
You stood there, frozen, his body pressed against yours, his words echoing in your head. Two months was nothing, barely enough time to know someone properly and let alone fall for them.
But you already knew him. You knew the way he took his coffee, that he hummed when he was concentrating, even how his eyes lit up when he talked about a new song he was writing. You knew the shadows under his eyes when he hadn't slept, that his fingers tapped against every surface like he was always composing something. You knew he looked at you like you were something precious he was terrified of losing.
And you knew, with absolute certainty, that you were already in too deep.
"Martin," you said softly, your fingers finding their way back to his hair, threading through the dark strands. "Look at me."
He lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours, and he looked nervous. Martin Edwards, the man who commanded thousands of screaming fans night after night, looked nervous.
"I'm not going anywhere," you said quietly. "You're not going to lose me."
His breath caught. "You mean that?"
"I mean it."
He stared at you for a long moment, searching your eyes for something: doubt, hesitation, a lie; he found none.
He slowly moved forward and his lips brushed against yours so softly you could barely feel them, and you realised in that moment he was afraid you'd pull away.
You did nothing of the sort and instead leaned into him, your fingers curling in his hair, pulling him closer. His arms tightened around your waist, and you felt the tension drain from his body as he melted into you.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath coming in short, uneven gasps whilst his eyes remained closed.
"Y/N," he whispered, your name falling from his lips like a prayer.
"I'm here," you said softly. "I'm not going anywhere."
He opened his eyes, and the look in them made your heart ache. It was raw and open and completely unguarded.
"I've never—" He stopped, shaking his head. "I've never felt like this before. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know how to do this."
"Neither do I," you admitted. "But we can figure it out together."
He smiled then, his grin reaching his eyes and making him look younger and lighter than how he appeared on the many magazines you absolutely did not keep hidden in your bedside table. "Together?"
"Together."
He kissed you again, softer this time—if that were even possible, as though he was sealing a promise. His hands cupped your face, his thumbs brushing your cheekbones, and you felt like the only person in the world.
When he pulled back, he was grinning. "I'm going to be so annoying now, you know that, right? The whole band is going to hate me. I'm not going to shut up about you."
You laughed, shoving his chest lightly. "You're already annoying."
"True." He pulled you back into his arms, burying his face in your hair. "But now I'm annoying and in love."
You could only smile against his shoulder at that, closing your eyes and letting the feel of him engulf your entire being.
From then on, Martin was yours and you were his, as hard as it was when you were constantly on opposite sides of the world. The distance was brutal: weeks apart, time zones that made calls nearly impossible, schedules that never seemed to align, but Martin made it work. He called you every night, no matter where he was or what time it was. He sent you handwritten letters filled with lyrics he'd scribbled in the margins of hotel notepads. He showed up at your apartment unannounced, exhausted and rumpled, just to hold you for a few hours before catching another flight.
You did the same for him. You flew across oceans to watch him perform, sitting in the shadows of the crowd, hidden beneath caps and sunglasses, just to see him do what he loved. You called him when you couldn't sleep, when the loneliness of your hotel room became too much and everything made you think of him.
It wasn't easy—there were nights you cried, overwhelmed by the distance, the secrecy, and the weight of loving someone the world wasn't supposed to know about, and there were nights Martin called you, his voice rough and raw, confessing how much he missed you followed by how much he hated being so far away.
But you always found your way back to each other, and every time you did, it was like no time had passed at all.
The public eventually found out, and it was entirely inevitable, to be completely honest. You'd been as careful as two people in the public eye could be, but you weren't as invisible or untouchable as you had thought. Eventually the paparazzi, relentless and all-seeing, caught a glimpse of what you'd been trying so hard to protect.
It started with a photo: the two of you in a hotel lobby in London, his hand intertwined with yours, your head tilted back in laughter as he whispered something in your ear. It was grainy, taken from too far away, but it was unmistakably the two of you.
The next morning, the image was everywhere.
"ROCKSTAR'S SECRET LOVE AFFAIR EXPOSED!" was printed on every newspaper in the country. Your face was plastered across every newsstand, every television screen, every gossip column. Your agent's phone rang off the hook for hours on end; stranngers on the street recognised you, whispering behind their hands, pointing and staring like you were a spectacle.
You'd known this day would come, you’d prepared for it, even braced yourself for it, but nothing could have prepared you for the sheer weight of it: the invasion, the scrutiny, the sudden loss of privacy that came with being publicly linked to Martin Edwards.
You sat atop his bed in a London hotel room, the many magazines spread out in front of you as you sifted through one, your fingers tracing the grainy image of the two of you in the lobby. Your own face stared back at you, frozen in a moment of laughter, his hand wrapped around yours. It felt strange, seeing yourself reduced to a headline and a piece of gossip for strangers to consume without a care in the world about you as an actual person.
You heard the bathroom door creak open behind you, the air shifting as Martin emerged with his pyjamas sitting loose on his frame and his hair still damp, curling slightly at the ends. He crossed the room in a few quiet steps, and before you could look up, his hands were on the magazine, gently pulling it from your grasp.
"Hey—" you started to protest, but he tossed it aside, not caring where it landed.
Then he climbed onto the bed, his weight settling over you as he lay on top of you, his body pressing yours into the mattress. He was warm and solid, still smelling like soap and steam, and you let out a breathless laugh as you tried to shove at his shoulders.
"Martin, you're too heavy," you complained, but you were giggling, your hands flattening against his chest. "Get off."
He didn't move. Instead, he buried his face in the curve of your neck, his breath warm against your skin. "No," he murmured, the word muffled. "I'm staying here forever. This is my new home."
"Your new home is crushing me."
"Good, you're not going anywhere."
You laughed again, your fingers finding their way into his damp hair, threading through the damp strands. "You're ridiculous."
"I'm in love," he corrected, lifting his head just enough to look at you, his lips just grazing your chin. His eyes were soft and searching your own. "And I'm not letting a bunch of magazines ruin that."
Your smile faded slightly, the weight of everything pressing down on you again. "Martin—"
"I know," he said quietly, cutting you off. "I know it's a lot. I know they're going to be everywhere now. I know they're going to try to tear us apart." He reached up, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "But I don't care about any of it, all I care about is you."
You stared at him, your heart swelling. "You really mean that?"
"I really mean it." He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "I love you, Y/N, and I'm not going to let anyone take that away from us."
You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer, and he let out a soft sigh of relief against your skin. The magazines lay forgotten on the floor, their headlines screaming about secrets and scandals, but neither of you paid them any attention.
In that moment, there was only the two of you.
"You're still crushing me," you murmured after a moment, a smile tugging at your lips.
He laughed, rolling off you just enough to pull you into his side, his arm wrapping around your waist. "Better?"
"Better."
He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, and you felt the tension in his body slowly ease.
Eventually, the fans and press got used to seeing the two of you together.
It took time: months of grainy photos and speculative articles, of whispers and pointed fingers and strangers dissecting your every move. But slowly, inevitably, the novelty began to fade. You weren't a mystery anymore, you were just Martin Edwards' girlfriend, and he was just your boyfriend, and the two of you were simply... together.
The tabloids still covered you, of course, they always would, but the tone shifted. The invasive headlines gave way to something almost affectionate. The speculation about breakups and cheating scandals was replaced by stories about your red carpet appearances, your joint holidays, the way Martin looked at you during interviews.
"CORTIS Frontman and Model Girlfriend: The Coolest Couple in Rock?" —NME
"Martin Edwards and Y/N Y/L/N: How They Became Music's Most Stylish Pair" —Vogue
"Rockstar Romance: Why Martin and Y/N Are Relationship Goals" —Rolling Stone
You'd laugh every time you saw a new headline, shoving the magazine in Martin's face. "Did you see this? We're 'relationship goals.'"
He'd grin, pulling you into his lap. "They're not wrong."
You'd roll your eyes, but you'd be smiling. "You have such a big ego."
"You love it."
And you did. You really did.
The fans embraced you too. At first, there had been the inevitable backlash: jealous comments, cruel speculation, girls who swore you weren't good enough for him. But you weathered it, never engaging, never stooping to their level. You showed up to shows, stood quietly by his side, and let your actions speak for themselves.
Slowly, the fans came around. They saw the way Martin looked at you like you'd hung the moon, and how you supported him by showing up even when you didn't have to. They saw the small moments: him holding your hand backstage, you fixing his collar before he went on stage, the private smiles you exchanged across crowded rooms.
Soon, you weren't just Martin Edwards' girlfriend. You were the girl who'd tamed the rockstar. The one who could walk a runway in couture and still stand in the pit at one of his shows despite the rowdy crowd. The one who never looked fazed, never seemed rattled, never let the cameras get to her.
You'd become a style icon in your own right, your red carpet looks dissected and praised. You'd become a fixture at award shows, a staple of magazine covers, a name that stood on its own. And through it all, Martin was right beside you, his hand always finding yours, his eyes always seeking you out in a crowd.
The press called you the coolest couple, the most stylish pair, the relationship goals of a generation, but to you, it was simpler than that. You were just two people who'd found each other in the chaos, and had held on dearly when everything tried to pull you apart.
⋮ ⌗ contains┆profanity, humor, communication (finally)
15 | masterlist | 17
𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 yawnmi writes! Mama…y…..Papa ❤️🩹🫂 last update until probably next saturday very sorry 🥹🥹 i will be at cheer camp soooo 🥲 but i hope ygs are still enjoying as we near the end here🥹💔
⌗ ┆ youtuber!martin getting matching piercings with his gf content. established relationship, youtuber!martin, matching eyebrow piercings, kissing, mostly humor :: plss like + reblog :: if my work isn’t for you, feel free to leave but negativity has no place here.
“No, you’re not listening to me.” Martin places both hands on your shoulders. “I need my eyebrow piercing to be on the left, and I know you know, that's my good side!” He turns his jaw and pats the left side of his cheek, getting right in your face. You roll your eyes, nudging him away. “Okay, yeah, I get your point.” You face the jewelry options. You want your piercing to be gold, but you already know Martin's definitely getting silver.
Martin started the vlog about an hour ago, just filming your day leading up to the two of you walking into the piercing shop a few minutes ago. You haven't been in his videos much lately, and his fans have been going crazy, speculating that the two of you broke up.
You guys talked about wanting to get something matching together, and when he said, "Profile pictures?" you immediately pursed your lips. ‘Are we in middle school?' was your reply, and Martin immediately started saying how you never want to do what he wants to do. You told him to choose literally anything else. After thinking about it for a bit, he said eyebrow piercings, not expecting you to actually agree. "Wait, for real?" His eyebrows shot up in shock when you had. He genuinely didn’t think you were going to say yes.
“Babe. I feel like you'd look good with the spikes instead of the balls.” You nudge Martin, nodding toward the silver ones. They are definitely more his style. Juhoon snorts behind the camera, making you turn to him in confusion. You don’t think you said anything funny. “What?”
Martin immediately got what he meant and began laughing, looking into the camera. “If you know, you know.” He made sure to dap Juhoon up. You narrow your eyes, replaying what you had just said in your head until it finally clicks. Really?
“I really hate being reminded I'm hanging out with boys.” You purse your glossed lips, reaching into your pocket for the pack of gum you bought earlier.
"Oh, but you sure as hell do love one of them," Martin says, obviously talking about himself. You shrug, popping the gum into your mouth once you unwrapped it, handing Martin the wrapper.
“You’re right,” you say, fake sweetly, looking over at the camera and batting your lashes. You're so cute, you give him girlfriend fever, even though you're already his girlfriend. It doesn't make sense, but it does in his lovesick, all-you world. You look behind the camera. “Love you, Jju,” you say instead.
What the hell? “Really? Wowww.” Martin nods. Okay, bet.
Juhoon shakes his head, but he also loves teasing Martin. He makes a hand heart with the hand that isn't holding the camera before zooming in on the way Martin just starts walking away.
“I'm kidding!” you laugh.
Martin takes a lap around the shop, even throwing away the gum wrapper you handed him. When he realizes neither you nor Juhoon are following him, he looks around in disbelief. It's literally his channel! Why isn't his cameraman right on his heels?
Martin eventually walks back over with a defeated expression on his handsome face.
“I said I was kidding, and pick up your pants,” you repeat once he's close enough. When he had walked away, everyone and their moms basically saw his boxers. The whole time, Juhoon recorded the shop for a montage.
“Stop joking like that, they're going to think you actually hate me at this point.” Martin reaches for your hand. “We already have breakup allegations. C’mon, thought I media trained you well.” He's far from being media trained himself.
“My bad. I forgot how sensitive you are.” Even though teasing him is kind of fun.
“Mmm. Forgiven,” Martin accepts quickly, and Juhoon has to be a hater because he rolls his eyes. No way he folds that fast. But judging by the way Martin loops an arm around your shoulders, the inside of his elbow pressing against the side of your neck as he pulls you into him by your jaw, he most definitely does. Martin's four fingers rest beneath your hoop earring at the edge of your jaw while his thumb settles against your chin. He tilts your head up enough to lean down and press a peck to your bottom lip. Then another. One more, to be safe. Okay, maybe one more to really solidify it this time. Just one last-
“Eugh, stop. I'm not showing that.” Juhoon cuts it short and turns the camera around so it's only showing him. “Here's a better view for you guys.” He pushes a few of his bangs out of his chocolate-brown eyes. Martin rolls his eyes, fully pulling away from you. “Man,” he laughs. “You just want the edits.” He knows damn well. Juhoon let out a chuckle through his nose at that.
“Do you know how to take care of a piercing?” the piercer asks. Martin's in the chair first since you said he's the test dummy before you get yours. He wanted to show off for you, so he sat down confidently. Martin nods at the piercer. You have a few other piercings, which means you basically teach him how to take care of the ones in his ears. She gives him a thumbs up before grabbing a Sharpie.
Now that he's actually about to do this, the nerves are definitely kicking in. Where the hell did all that confidence from three seconds ago go? She dots two marks on his eyebrow before handing him a mirror. “Let me know if you want it higher.”
“Babe. Jju. Right here or nah?” he calls out to both of you, turning his face more to the left so you guys can get a better look. He needs two more opinions. You both nod. It's in the perfect spot. Martin tells the piercer that's where he wants it, handing the mirror back. She starts cleaning the area, and Martin's actually so scared. He starts scratching at his knees through his jeans out of anxiety and asks a million questions.
From one to ten, how much does it hurt? Is it true that eyebrow piercings get infected more than any other piercing? Am I going to pass out? What if I start bleeding, the blood gets in my eye, I can't see, and I run into something? The piercer chuckled at the last ridiculous scenario and told him to relax. It's going to be fast.
“Want me to hold your hand, bro?” Juhoon jokes. Though five minutes later, he actually does have to hold Martin's hand because Martin keeps asking if it's going to hurt. You tell him that other people are waiting and to stop procrastinating because the piercer has a job to do. Martin squeezes Juhoon's hand. His nerves make his palm so clammy that Juhoon tries to yank his hand back, but Martin has a grip. “Don't forget to like and subscribe,” he says. “'Kay, ready.”
He closes his eyes, following the piercer's instructions to take a deep breath in. He feels a little pinch as he breathes out. “There you go.” What? He peeks one eye open, his hand still squeezing Juhoon's. “That's it?” The piercer nods. That's it. No way. That's what he was worried about? It genuinely just feels like a pinch.
“Babe, you got this. This light work. Didn't even hurt.” He gets off the chair. Now it's your turn. Martin looks in the mirror, fixing his hair while admiring the new piercing. He looks so good with the jewelry on his brow. Oh, he's definitely getting thousands of kisses tonight. The piercing suits him, especially with the spikes. Ugh, he is just so handsome. You can't wait to match.
You sit down in the chair just as nervous as your boyfriend, but you're a little more mindful of the piercer's time. She does the same thing she did with Martin, marking your eyebrow with a Sharpie before handing you the mirror to make sure that's where you want it.
“Yes! Get it right there, baby. Looks so good. So good on you.” Martin gushes, turning away for a second to show the camera his piercing. The piercer laughs at the difference between how he reacts when he's getting his piercing and how he reacts when it's your turn. Meanwhile, you're trying not to think about whether it's going to hurt like a bitch or not.
She puts on a fresh pair of gloves before cleaning the area around your right eyebrow. You didn't actually think Martin was being a hundred percent honest when he said it feels like a pinch, but it genuinely does. You don't even realize she's done until she walks away to grab a cotton swab.
“Beautiful brows, by the way,” she says. “All done.”
You thank her, and Martin pays for both of you before you make your way outside to show the vlog your new piercings.
“You look so good.” You cup Martin's face in your hands, turning it toward his left side so you can get a better look. Not letting him go, you leave a few quick kisses on his cheek. The three of you standing in the parking lot outside the shop. “I told you it would suit you.”
You guys ended up taking a thousand pictures. Some were solo, some were with Juhoon ‘cause he wanted to be included, and some were just the two of you with your faces pressed together, showing that your piercings were on opposite sides.
Remember when Martin said he wanted matching profile pictures, and you made fun of him, saying, ‘Are we in middle school?’ Then he complained that you never wanted to do what he wanted. Well, he did end up getting his matching profile pictures, much to his delight. You guys used the one where you were side by side. His profile picture was cropped to you, and your profile picture was the other half of the photo, cropped to him.
✿ ───── in which , eom seonghyeon was bet a hundred that he can’t bag a date. unfortunately for you, you became that very date of his, unaware that you were only asked out because of the stupid bet. part one , part two
haii part 2 finally yay!! lwk seems kinda rush my bad for that guys 😭😭 i lit js random lock in for like 15 mins and make my posts bc gen who is bothered for planning
synopsis you were planning on having a chill senior year with no distractions but the most popular boy at your school had other plans.
warnings fluff, sfw, cussing, maybe typos??, little bit of a rushed ending tbh..keonho is insanely down bad and reader has bad experiences from a past relationship so she’s skeptical abt him/closed off👀👀
author’s note one of my drafts that i haven’t touched since may..hope you guys like it! 💋💋
it was officially one month into your senior year. that final year before you had to become an adult and REALLY lock in. you always dreamed of having a high-school experience like the ones in the movies, but that dream kinda died right after your sophomore year. you thought everything was perfect too. you had the best boyfriend ever, and the most amazing best friend anyone could ever ask for. but then you started to realize that they were getting closer than you thought and caught him cheating on you with her. it’s like your whole world crumbled into pieces. everything went pretty downhill from there, you ended up moving schools and lost contact with everyone. so now all that's on your mind is graduating and disappearing somewhere far far away. you just quickly came to terms that senior year was going to be extremely boring at this new school..but peaceful. with no one bothering you, you're on the right path to a quick and quiet senior year.
or so you thought..
"oh my god. did you see what keonho was wearing today?? he's so handsome!!! i swear every time i see him, i get more and more nervous.", you overheard one of your classmates saying on the way to the library.
"i know right?? he’s so quiet, but that makes him insanely attractive!! i’m thinking about asking him out, should i?”, the friend responds.
you just don't understand it at all. why is every girl in the school so distracted by this guy? to you, he’s literally just a boy. to them, he’s an angel sent from heaven. it makes you absolutely sick. don’t these girls have any self respect for themselves??
“there they go again..", you mutter under your breath as you open the library door. you walk towards your usual spot next to the window and sit down to begin your studies. with both earbuds in your ear, you intend to completely log out of reality and focus on the sound of your favorite song and of course..your algebra homework.
"i hate this class with a burning passion. but the sooner i finish this assignment, the sooner i can go home.", you think to yourself.
you hum along to the melody of 'fake plastic trees' by radiohead as you write down an equation. but as you're actively writing you noticed someone walked up to your table,(with a really nice pair of shoes) and just stood there. you look up from your paper to see exactly who the whole school is going crazy about.
ahn keonho.
standing right in front of you. you never really seen him up close before..you couldn't help but think that what everyone says about him is true. but that didn't mean anything. even though the sun peering from the window hit his face at a perfect angle, highlighting his dark brown eyes and making him glow like he's in some kind of romcom or something. it was so cliche, how dare your favorite song play as he stands before you.
"is that radiohead?", he says to break the silence and quickly end your daydreaming.
"what?", you respond as you take one earbud out because you quite literally didn't hear a single thing he said.
"oh nothing, i was just wondering what song you were listening to. you were humming and it sounded familiar", he says while laughing under his breath.
"uhh- yeah. it's 'fake plastic trees' by radiohead", you reply completely flustered, surprised that he's even choosing to talk to you in the first place.
"i love that song. do you listen to radiohead often? they're one of my favorite bands."
"cool. yeah i listen to them often." you quickly say while trying to avoid eye contact.
you immediately began to think to yourself. "why is he talking to me?? i can't let him get me like this. he definitely does this to all the other girls here..is he flirting with me?"
“what’s your name?”
“..it’s y/n.”
"that’s a nice name. do you mind if i sit here?" he asks.
"uh yeah sure. i don't care." you respond while still avoiding eye contact.
he sits down and it feels like he's analyzing every single thing about you. your heart rate begins to speed up and your face gets hot.
"has anyone ever told you that you have a little attitude?" he asks, genuinely curious.
"no. not really. probably boys like you have though."
"what's that supposed to mean?" he chuckles thinking that you were joking with him.
you just shrug your shoulders and continue writing more equations.
"sooo...whatcha working on anyway?", he notices the awkwardness between you but decides to keep the conversation going.
"algebra 3 homework.", you keep your responses short and simple, PRAYING he would just end the conversation and notice you're not interested.
"ohhh, well..all the answers you've written down so far are incorrect."
"huh?", you shamelessly reply. showing some form of emotions for a change.
"do you need some help? i'm actually pretty good at algebra."
"oh no, i'm okay. i can manage by myself."
he takes the paper anyway and starts looking at the equations. he looks at you then down to the pencil still in your hand. he takes it right from your hand and starts working on YOUR homework. you're so shocked that you don't even know what to say. you just sit there and watch him in disbelief.
he scribbles a bit more before dramatically slamming the pencil on the table.
“there.”
“you did not have to do that.”
“no! really, i don’t mind.”
you stare at him for longer than a second before furrowing your brows at him.
“what are you playing at?”
“..what do you mean?”
“well i’d assume you sat here for a reason.”
the silence gets so incredibly loud even though you’re in a library.
“let me take you on a date, we can go anywhere you want.”
you chuckle as you start packing your things.
“no can do, playboy. i’ve seen your type before, going around and hitting on all the girls around school. i’m not that easy.”
“after i just did your algebra homework? you owe me.”
you pause before closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. you look up at him with an blank expression.
“you set me up.”
“you accepted the offer.”
“barely.”
“just please go on this date with me. there’s this one açaí shop that i know downtown and-“
“you’re very adamant aren’t you?? do you take all your little girlfriends to this place too?”
you finally finish packing up and stand before him with your arms crossed. he stares at you with a serious look, really trying to convince you that he’s not what you think.
“i don’t know what kind of narrative you clearly already built up on me, but you’re wrong. i don’t even talk to girls like that.”
“mhm.”
“no, im serious. i genuinely want to take you out.”
you hold your breath before dramatically exhaling.
“okay i’ll go to this “infamous” açaí shop with you. only because you did my homework and i hate being in debt to others. but it’s NOT a date, understand?”
“alright. that’s fair.”
he takes out his phone and waves it in front of you.
“give me your number.”
“why?”
“well how are we going to go on a date if i can’t contact you?”
“it’s not a date.”
“sorry, not a date. but either way, i need to get in touch with you.”
you audibly sigh before grabbing his phone and typing your number in.
“just don’t be annoying and text me 24/7, i have a life you know.”
“do you??”
“yes? i do.”
“okay…well i’ll only text you the details on our dateee.” he says in a sing-songy tone.
“stop calling it that.”
he cheekily shrugs while smiling before turning around and heading towards the door.
you can’t help but feel this pit in your chest. your face is incredibly hot and your mind is going a mile a minute. did that really just happen? how did you randomly just end up having plans with the most desired boy in the whole school? you begin to look around just to make sure there are no cameras, incase you’re being pranked. you take a deep breath before walking out the library and going on with the rest of your day, trying your best to not let this minor encounter take over your mind.
but it’s all you could think about.
you’re finally home resting on your couch and watching love island (i’m currently obsessed with this show), when you hear your phone buzz. you check to see who it is even though you already knew.
the way he texted you was so childlike, but cute. his use of emojis was so excessive that you couldn’t help but smile reading his texts before you snapped out of it. eventually he told you that he would pick you up on saturday at noon. you casually agree and slowly count down the days.
thursday.
you were sitting in class when you randomly thought about keonho. your heart instantly dropped to your stomach.
“why am i nervous?” you whisper to yourself.
you were so deep in thought, you didn’t even realize the teacher called you to answer a question.”
“huh?” you foolishly reply.
“stop daydreaming and pay attention in class.”
you look down at your desk in embarrassment as you begin to pick at your fingers. your mind immediately went to him.
“he’s distracting me.” you think to yourself, genuinely annoyed.
friday.
you’re walking down the hallway with your earbuds in. the hallway noise has always been too much for you, so of course alternative rock is the best option to drown it out. you’re turning the corner when you bump into him, the boy who you just can’t seem to escape.
“well won’t you look at that. it looks like fate has brought us together again.”
“don’t flatter yourself.”
he leans against the wall while smirking at you.
“are you ready for our dateeee?”
“i think you’re just teasing me at this point.”
“maybe, maybe not.”
you roll your eyes and walk right past him. he follows you.
“where are you headed?”
“home?”
“um right! i knew that…let me walk you home.”
“yeah okay, so you can know where i live and kidnap me or something.”
“i’m literally going there to pick you up tomorrow.”
you get very quiet and side eye him.
“hm. i didn’t think about that. alright, the dates called off then.”
“what?!”
you start to laugh.
“i’m just joking.”
he’s completely stunned. not by the joke, but by your smile. that’s the very first time he saw you laugh and his gaze immediately softened at the sight of it.
“wait—you just called it a date.”
you pause for a split second.
“no i didn’t.”
“yes, you did.”
you bite down on your bottom lip and start speed walking.
“wait, slow down!”
“look, i’ll see you tomorrow okay bye!”
later that night you’re in the living room folding laundry when your phone begins to ring.
you check the screen and of course it’s him.
you pick up in a very annoyed manner.
“you love crossing boundaries don’t you? i told you not to call me.”
“no you didn’t. you told me not to text you so, i found a better alternative.”
you smack your teeth before dramatically sighing into the phone, making sure he heard your distress.
“what do you want keonho.”
it goes silent for a second.
“i wanted to hear your voice.”
your heart drops.
“oh. well, you heard it..so now what?”
“i guess i got what i wanted then. see you tomorrow, pretty girl.”
“keonho—“
beep. beep. beep.
he hung up.
you stare at the wall, phone still hot on your cheek.
“what the hell?? and of course he’ll hang up after saying that.”
you close your eyes and sigh.
you tried not to care. you tried so hard not to show your true feelings.
you’re scared to put too much effort into someone again, but.
you’re slowly falling for him.
hard.
“damn, he’s good.” you whisper to yourself before burying your face in your hands.
it’s officially saturday. the fateful day.
you roll out of bed with this weird feeling in your stomach.
nervousness? excitement?
you couldn’t really figure it out.
either way, you still went through your morning routine and got ready.
you did your makeup and put on your favorite polka dot patterned blouse. not for any particular reason of course. just because you like this top a lot, not because you want to impress him or anything. (👀👀)
you just can’t believe you’re really doing this. you seriously almost thought about chickening out, but you’re not one to give up out of nervousness.
so you’re following through with it. sitting outside on your porch, waiting for keonho to pick you up.
you start spacing out about how this whole thing could go. keonho seems pretty infatuated by you, so who knows how this could end up?
what if he wants to kiss you?
your face instantly gets hot as you cover your mouth.
“i’m acting like he’s right in front of me.”, you whisper to yourself.
BEEP BEEP!
“oh shit, he is.”
you gather all your things and speed walk to his car. he rolls down the window.
“hey! all ready?”
“hey, yeah i’m ready.”
you hop in the car and sit in the most stiff position ever. he’s staring at you with the biggest grin on his face.
you giggle awkwardly.
“..why are you staring at me like that?”
“you look amazing.”
“oh, thanks.”
“i’m so honored. you trying to look your best for our dateeee.”
“oh my god, keonho just drive.”
he laughs before lightly pressing on the gas.
the car ride was pretty…calm.
he would occasionally look over to you and grin, or ask what songs you wanted to listen to. he even turned up the A/C whenever he noticed you were moving around uncomfortably in the seat, assuming you were hot.
“sooo have you ever tried açaí before?”
“no, i actually haven’t. is it good?”
“it’s perfect. i have a feeling you’ll like it. this shop has a very calm atmosphere to it too.”
“really? do you go there often?”
“yeah, i’ve been there a few times.”
“cool.”
silence..
“y/n, i have so many questions.”
“..about?”
his grip tightens on the steering wheel.
“just you. i never seen you around before this year. you moved here right?”
“yeah, over the summer.”
“do you mind if i ask why?”
“my parents wanted me to have a fresh start.”
“did something happen? like those crazy accidents people make documentaries about?”
you chuckle at his wild imagination.
“close enough.”
you pause for a brief second before taking a deep breath.
“my life literally changed in a day. i felt like i lost everything because of other people’s mistakes. i lost myself too. my parents both agreed that i needed to start over. so now i’m here, trying to find myself.”
his right hand hovers over to meet yours.
“you’ll find it. without a doubt.”
silence again..
his hand finds it’s way back onto the steering wheel.
“thank you for being comfortable enough to tell me that, y/n. i didn’t know you had any trust in me at all.”
“well, i’ve only known you for like three days so i wouldn’t say trust, but you do have a very comforting energy around you. like i can tell you anything without being judged.”
the corner of his lips begin to curl up into the sweetest smile ever.
“i’m glad you feel that way about me.”
“me too.”
he turns into the parking lot of the açaí shop and finds an open parking spot.
it’s surprising. given how much of a disaster he seems to you sometimes, he’s actually a pretty good driver.
he puts the car in park and turns to look at you, noticing that your hand is reaching out to open the door.
“WAIT. DON’T MOVE.”
you freeze in place before raising an eyebrow.
“what?”
“obviously your date has to open the door for you.”
you roll your eyes and giggle at his silliness.
before you know it, he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and running out to the passenger side of the car to open the door.
he sticks his hand out in front of you with the biggest smile on his face.
“my lady.”
you immediately start laughing at his actions while reaching for his hand.
“you’re so corny.”
“i’m very traditional, actually.”
“traditionally corny.”
he closes the door behind you and automatically starts running to open the door of the açaí shop.
you bite your bottom lip to stop your smile from getting out.
“ladies first.”
you nod your head and walk in.
the atmosphere was definitely calming for sure. with the sweet smell of different fruits mixing together and the jazz music blasting from the speakers.
“it’s so nice in here.”
“i know right? let’s go sit over there, it’s my favorite spot.”
he points towards a table by the window.
you walk in that direction to go take a seat but keonho beats you to it. he rushes right past you to pull your chair out. you cover your face in embarrassment before sitting down.
“you’re acting like we’re at some fancy restaurant or something.”
“and you’re gonna have to get used to it.”
“what if i don’t want to?”
he chuckles and sits in front of you.
“here, this is the menu.”
“wow..there’s so many options.”
“i know right??..ooh i think you’d like this one. i order it often.”
he points to a picture of an açaí bowl on the corner of the page.
“okay, i’ll get that one then.”
“are you sure?”
“yeah. if you order it a lot, then it must be good.”
“you’re absolutely correct. this is going to be your favorite, mark my words. wait here, i’m gonna go order.”
“okay.” you nod your head and shoot a soft smile at him.
this wasn’t as bad as you’d thought it’d be. it’s actually crazy because, all the nervousness you felt just left in seconds. keonho is so much fun to be around and you’re having the time of your life. he brings such a calming and caring energy towards you that it doesn’t even feel real sometimes. you don’t want to self sabotage because of your past, but how come he’s so perfect? it’s genuinely shocking to you.
“it should be ready in a few, they’re gonna bring it to our table.”
“oh okay, sounds cool.”
“sooo…are you enjoying our date so far??”
“we just got here..”
“i just need to make sure i’m doing everything right.”
“keonho honestly, i believe you can do no wrong. i’m genuinely enjoying our time together.”
he leans in, all of his attention focused on you and only you.
“so i’m winning you over?”
you chuckle and run your fingers through your hair.
“maybe. we’ll see.”
he starts celebrating like a kid and wiping fake dust off his shoulders.
“…okay now you lost me.”
he’s quite literally mid celebration when the worker walks up with your açaí.
“here you two go.”
“thank you so much! this looks delicious.”
he pushes your açaí towards you.
“go ahead, try it. i want to see your live reaction.”
you nod your head and grab your spoon in excitement.
you take a bite and immediately close your eyes in delight. it genuinely felt like you were transported to heaven.
“holy shit, this is super good.”
“i knew you’d like it!”
you quickly grab another bite and lean back into your chair.
“so keonho. since you asked me questions, it’s my turn.”
“okay, go ahead.”
“your plan was to ask me out on a date from the beginning, wasn’t it?”
“maybe.”
“so when you approached me, it wasn’t because i was humming radiohead?”
“well yes..and no. it just worked out perfectly because they are one of my favorite bands.”
he looks down at his açaí bowl then back up at you.
“if i’m being honest, i’ve always had my eye on you. i just needed an good excuse to approach you. the universe was on my side that day.”
“so that also means..you doing my algebra homework was a trap?”
he chuckles at your conclusion.
“not a trap, just an opportunity for me to take you out.”
“so, a trap.”
“hey! your grade probably would’ve plummeted if i didn’t help you.”
“okay fine, that’s fair.”
he rests his cheek on the palm of his hand and slightly leans towards you, his gaze completely fixated.
“you’re staring at me again. it’s kinda creepy.”
“i’m just so curious about you, y/n. i want to know everything about you. everything you like, everything you hate.”
“well you’ve got a long way to go keonho.”
“i know. and i’m willing to wait. i don’t know exactly what you went through in the past, but i do want to help you. if you couldn’t already tell, i’m very interested in you.”
“but why?”
“it’s just something about you i can’t figure out. your presence. your energy. it’s so attractive to me, i’m automatically drawn to you. you just seem so familiar.”
“wow. no one has ever spoke about me in that way before.”
“there’s a first for everything.”
“hm. i guess you’re right.”
you both eventually finish your açaí bowls, marking the end of your first date with keonho.
“whew that was the best thing i’ve eaten in a while—what’s wrong?”
keonho is looking like a sad, lost puppy.
“i hate to say it, but this means our date has come to a devastating end.”
“wow. dramatic much?”
you get up to throw away both you and keonho’s bowls.
“wait—i was gonna do that.”
“just let me do this one thing in return.”
he lowers his head and lethargically gets out of his seat. he grabs your things for you and walks in your direction, shoes damn near dragging on the floor. you’re already by the door waiting for him.
“here’s your purse.”
“thank you very much.”
he holds open the door for you.
“keonho, i hope you know i had a lot of fun.”
“i’m relieved.”
“so when’s our next date?”
“WHAT? you wanna go on another date with me? wait—really???”
you shrug your shoulders while speed-running to the car.
keonho is frozen in place, still standing in front of the shop and covering his mouth in disbelief before muttering to himself.
🍀 𓂃 ﹕ a promise is a promise, so you have to keep it… even if you didn’t want to. but, whose to say that you’ll regret it?
OR IN WHICH he won the deal. you owe him. now, how does one even make this romantic? well, apparently, martin knows how to. what a smart guy indeed.
──── martin x fem ! reader ╱ ⌕ smau, fluff, crack, one sided academic rivals to lovers ∿ ˊᯅˋ profanity, reader is a hater icl LMAO (love disguised as hate!) ( 💬 ) in honor of ap scores being released… and me getting caught up in a deal….
‘💬’ ─ most of this is crashing out since i met the pictures limit but i think its valid 😅 #totallynotbiased
📬 ❤︎ martin 𝔁 gf!reader ─── ৻ꪆ korean rooftopping duo yn yln and martin edwards, widely known for their extreme, unauthorised ascents of skyscrapers and infrastructure, gained renewed international attention after free-climbing the empire state building’s restricted transmission tower in nyc.
❤︎ warnings+tags ─── ৻ꪆ both martin (aged up) and reader are in their 20s for the sake of the fic
💌 ❤︎ notes ─── ৻ꪆ oh anon…. ur so loved for planting this idea in my head 😭 ok but fr we synced up because when i saw this couple go viral, i immediately thought “this is so martin 💞”
❤︎ wc ─── ৻ꪆ 2k
𝄞 𓏸 my cortispilledmasterlist »﹙合﹚
❝ tracklist ❞ ─── him & i—g-eazy & halsey ❦ intro—the xx ❦ midnight city—m83 ❦ run boy run—woodkid ❦ sail—awolnation ❦ outro—m83 ❦ robbers—the 1975 ❦ as the world caves in—sarah cothran ❦ a sky full of stars—coldplay ❦ heroes—david bowie ❦ safe and sound—capital cities ❦ take me to church—hozier ❦ born to run—bruce springsteen
the wind at that height hadn’t even felt like air anymore. it was just this solid, freezing wall of pressure screaming out of the dark, slamming into your chest and trying to rip your fingers right off the iron rungs. every time a gust hit, the entire steel lattice of the transmission tower gave a low, vibrating groan that you felt vibrate deep inside your chest. it was the kind of sound that reminded you exactly how thin the line was between a historic climb and a plummet into nothingness.
below your dangling boots, the empire state building didn’t look like a building anymore; it was a massive, tiered mountain of limestone and art deco stone dropping away into a dizzying abyss of midtown traffic. the streets were just thin, bleeding veins of neon yellow taxi roofs and white headlights, completely silent from a quarter-mile up. everything was quiet up there except for the roar of the atmosphere and the sharp, rhythmic clank of your carabiners hitting the cold metal.
your knuckles were aching, white-hot inside your grip gloves as you took the last three vertical steps up the restricted antenna. your heart was slamming a frantic, heavy rhythm against your ribs, the sheer rush of adrenaline making the metallic taste of fear wash over your tongue.
“watch the cross-beam to your left, love. it’s slick with dew. don’t trust it entirely yet.” martin’s voice was a little muffled by the black fabric of his face mask, but it grounded you instantly. he was already up on the tiny, exposed summit platform, balancing on a ledge no wider than a skateboard with an easy, terrifying grace that still made your stomach drop, even after five years of climbing together. his dark eyes were incredibly bright behind his mask, crinkling at the corners because he was smiling.
he always got this wild, ecstatic look when he was close to the stars and far away from the law.
he bent down, extending a hand. his grip was solid, warm, and entirely unbothered by the sheer drop right behind him. with one fluid, practiced pull, he hoisted you up onto the narrow grating beside him. you immediately pressed your back against the central mast, taking a ragged breath. the view was endless—the horizon curved away in a haze of dark purple and gold, the chrysler building’s silver spire gleaming a few blocks over like a sharp tooth. but right below the observation deck, you could already see the tiny, frantic flashing of blue and red police cruisers pulling onto the avenue.
“we woke them up,” you breathed out, your voice shaking slightly from the exertion. “look at the street. they’re already sealing the lower exits.”
martin didn’t even look down. he just reached out, his gloved fingers brushing a strand of wind-whipped hair away from your eyes. “let them come. they have to climb eighty-six floors of stairs first. we have time.”
“we have maybe five minutes before security breaches the upper hatch, mars,” you said, a breathless, nervous laugh escaping you. “come on, let’s get the banner down before they cut the power to the deck lights.”
together, you unbuckled the heavy, cylindrical canvas pack from your shoulders. working in perfect, unspoken sync—a choreography born from dozens of cranes in dubai and rooftops in seoul—you looped the heavy-duty zip ties through the iron eyelets of the banner and secured them to the primary girders.
“on three,” martin said, his eyes locked on yours. “one. two. three.”
you let it drop. the heavy canvas unraveled with a massive, whip-like crack that echoed over the open air, falling perfectly straight down the side of the spire. the bold, white painted letters against the black background caught the bright floodlights of the building, blazing out into the manhattan night for miles: when the power of love beats the love of power, the world knows peace.
“it looks perfect,” you whispered, watching it sway against the steel. “god, mars, it looks so beautiful.”
“yeah,” martin murmured, his voice suddenly dropping into that quiet, heavy register he only used when the cameras were off and it was just the two of you against gravity. “it really does.”
you turned your head to tell him to grab the backup rigging so you could start the fast rappel down to the mechanical levels before the ground team cornered you, but he wasn’t moving toward the ropes. instead, he stepped right into the center of the tiny platform, completely letting go of the safety railing.
“baby, what are you doing? hold onto something, the crosswind is picking up,” you warned, reaching out to grab the strap of his harness.
“yn, listen to me for a second,” he said, stepping closer until his knees were brushing yours on the narrow grate. the wind screamed around you, tearing at his jacket, but his eyes were completely steady.
“martin, seriously, we need to go—”
“i don’t want to go down yet,” he interrupted quietly. “look around. there’s nobody else up here. there’s no noise from the ground, no internet, no bail bondsmen, no police. just us.”
and then, without an ounce of hurry, with the entire skyline of new york stretching out behind his shoulders like a wall of diamonds, he sank down onto one knee on the freezing metal grating. your breath completely caught in your throat. your fingers froze on your climbing harness.
from a mile away, the sharp, chopping thuds of a news helicopter began to echo through the air. a massive, blinding searchlight cut through the darkness, washing over the tower and painting the two of you in a stark, brilliant white light. the media was there, the cameras were rolling, but martin didn’t even blink against the glare.
he reached into his zippered chest pocket and pulled out a small, silver ring. it was tied to his wrist with a thin loop of paracord, because he was reckless, but he’d never risk losing this.
“i’ve looked at a lot of cities from a lot of heights, yn,” he said, his voice carrying clearly over the roar of the wind and the approaching chopper. “but every single time i’m up here, the only thing that keeps me from looking down is looking at you. i don’t want the ground if you’re not on it with me. i don’t want to do any of this if i’m not holding your hand. marry me, yn yln?”
the absolute, beautiful insanity of it hit you all at once. the sirens were wailing on the pavement below, a thousand people were probably staring up at your banner from times square, a news helicopter was hovering fifty yards away capturing your every move, and the boy who had held your life in his hands on top of the world was looking up at you like you were the only thing worth seeing.
“yes,” you choked out, tears instantly stinging the corners of your eyes, blurring the millions of city lights into beautiful, glowing circles. “yes, martin edwards, of course. fuck yes.”
you pulled your black fabric mask down past your chin, your lips trembling from the cold and the sheer shock of it. martin let out a loud, triumphant laugh that got swallowed by the wind, stood up on the shaking platform, and quickly slid the silver band onto your shivering finger.
before you could even look down at it, he hooked his arm around your waist and pulled you flush against his chest. the kiss was everything all at once—it tasted like cold, metallic high-altitude air, salt from your tears, and pure, unfiltered adrenaline. his lips were cold but his mouth was warm, urgent and deep, his gloved hand burying itself into the back of your hair to hold you steady against the wind. you wrapped your arms around his neck, burying yourself in the familiar scent of his nylon jacket and laundry detergent, completely forgetting about the freezing air, the hundred-story drop, and the law. the helicopter circled closer, its spotlight illuminating the exact moment the world’s most wanted urban explorers decided on forever on a needle in the sky.
when he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, both of your breaths coming in short, ragged white plumes that disappeared into the dark.
“we are so getting arrested,” you whispered against his lips, a massive smile breaking across your face.
“worth it,” he beamed, his dark eyes sparkling.
twenty minutes later, the romance of the sky met the cold reality of the ground. the security teams finally breached the upper deck, and after a tense but peaceful surrender, you were both led out through the building’s main marble lobby.
the transition from the silent, freezing apex of the city to the suffocating heat of the ground floor was jarring. the main marble lobby was a chaotic blur of shouting reporters, popping camera flashes, and a wall of NYPD officers. your wrists were bound tightly behind your back with heavy white zip-ties that bit into your skin every time you moved. your face was bare to the media, your hair a wild, windblown nest, and a stern-faced detective was muttering your rights into your ear as he maneuvered you toward the revolving doors.
“keep moving, don’t look at the cameras,” the officer grunted, pushing you toward a waiting cruiser. but just before they guided you into the separate back seats, martin caught your eye through the sea of flashing police lights and shouting journalists. he was being held by two big officers, his jacket scuffed and his gear confiscated, but he still had that lazy, unbothered smirk on his face. he gave you a slow, deliberate wink through the crowd.
you couldn’t move your arms, but as the officers pushed you into the back of the car, you pressed your hands against the rear window, letting the cold streetlights catch the silver ring on your finger.
by morning, the image of your hands against the glass was everywhere, but it was the massive canvas banner left fluttering against the spire of the empire state building that dominated the news cycle, forcing a sudden, heavy philosophy onto the front pages of the internet.
the media instantly tied your stunt to the old, resonant undocumented words of jimi hendrix: when the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
in the sterile, fluorescent-lit precinct where you and martin were held for arraignment, the contrast between those two forces was blinding. on one side of the metal bars was the love of power—represented by the heavy keys clinking at the guards’ belts, the rigid bureaucracy of the state, the high-security systems you bypassed, and the corporate ownership of a skyline that locked the sky away behind ticket counters and bulletproof glass. it was a system designed to control, to dominate, and to keep the world tethered to the concrete.
but on the other side of the bars was what you had left up on that spire. martin looked at you from across the holding cell, his eyes tired but entirely at peace, tracing the outline of the cheap silver ring on your finger through the iron mesh. your climb hadn’t been about conquering the building; it was about choosing a space completely free from the weight of the ground, a radical declaration that love didn’t need permission, borders, or safety nets to exist.
as the journalists outside debated whether your climb was a beautiful piece of performance art or a reckless breach of security, you realised that peace wasn’t the absence of trouble. it was the quiet certainty you had felt at the very top of the world, suspended in the freezing air, knowing that no matter how hard the system tried to assert its control, it would never match the gravity of two people holding on to each other in the dark.
bf!martin x fem!reader ft. lilbro!louis ; crack + fluff ; smau ; non-idol au ; oneshot ; swearing ; use of y/n
your brother, louis, was interrupting your time of what could be spent with your boyfriend, martin. although martin came over in the end, you didn't expect them to leave you out.
a/n: idrk if i like this but it's better than nothing so 😭😭
continuation of the art of restraint PAGE FOUR, not a separate chapter
synopsis. the edwards family and the eom family have always moved in the same circle. you and seonghyeon have spent years perfecting the art of avoidance after... well. after his father's funeral when you both said things you couldn't take back. but the ton is small, his sister is your best friend, and eventually you run out of excuses and arguments. especially when he's looking at you like that across the ballroom. the only thing is… you’re soon to be engaged. will he get to your hand before a ring does?
▸ feedback & reblogs are highly appreciated
▸ navigate back to OG page when reblogging & commenting pls
𝑽𝑰.
They had turned the conservatory into something it had never quite been before, and you knew, the moment you stepped through the glass doors, that this was not an accident.
The usual clutter of pots and trailing vines had been coaxed to the edges of the room, and down the center, where the stone floor had once held nothing but a girl of fourteen and a boy of sixteen arguing about swans and crosses, someone had laid a wide pallet of quilts and cushions—a makeshift bed, absurd and improvised and clearly built by servants who had been given instructions they did not fully understand and had done their best regardless.
You looked at it. Then at him.
"Seonghyeon."
"Do not look at me like that," he said, though he was already failing to keep the smile from the corner of his mouth. "It was Eunji's idea. I merely refused to talk her out of it."
"You never refuse to talk her out of anything."
"I refuse to talk her out of good ideas," he said. "This was, on reflection, a good idea."
Above you both, through the familiar glass ceiling, the sky had gone that particular deep, bruised blue that came just after true dark, stars only beginning to prick through it one at a time, shy as something that had to be coaxed. Somewhere near the far wall a small quartet you had not noticed until now—tucked half behind the jasmine, of all things, his mother's impossible, thriving jasmine—began, quietly, to play.
"You brought musicians into a greenhouse," you said.
"I brought musicians into our greenhouse," he corrected, and held out his hand.
You took it. Of course you took it. You had been taking his hand in this room since before either of you understood what it would eventually cost you both to keep doing so, and something about that felt, tonight, less like a debt finally called in and more like a promise finally allowed to mature.
He drew you into the space between the orchids and the makeshift bed, one hand settling warm at your waist, the other closing around yours the way it always did—like he was still faintly astonished each time that you let him.
"You are thinking too loudly," he said, after a moment, turning you slowly beneath the glass.
"I am thinking about the last time we danced in a conservatory."
"We have never danced in a conservatory."
"We have sat in one. Argued in one. Fallen apart and put ourselves back together in one," you said. "I am permitted to call that a kind of dancing, if I like."
His mouth curved. "You are permitted to call it whatever you like. I find I am no longer in the business of correcting you."
"Since when."
"Since approximately the moment you told me, at six years old, that you would rather marry a fern," he said, and you laughed—properly laughed, the sound of it climbing up into the glass dark above you and scattering there like something let loose on purpose.
The quartet slid into something slower. You let your head tip back, the way you had at fourteen, and there above you, faint but unmistakable now that the sky had finished its blue-black settling, hung Cygnus—wings unfurled, throat stretched long toward some horizon neither of you could see from here.
"There," you said, lifting your chin toward it. "Your swan."
"Your cross," he said, "if I recall the argument correctly."
"I have reconsidered."
He went very still beneath you, his hand tightening, just slightly, at your waist. "Have you."
"It is not a cross," you said slowly, watching the shape of it, the long spine of stars and the two arms spread wide on either side. "I think it looks like open arms, actually. Like someone standing very still, waiting for something to land."
You felt him exhale—not quite a laugh, something rougher and more unguarded than that. "I have spent six years telling you it was a swan," he said, "and you have decided, on this of all nights, that it is a metaphor."
"I contain many jests."
"You contain considerable inconvenience," he said, "which I have come, against every early and firmly stated intention, to love rather completely."
Something in your chest went very warm and very quiet at once. You did not trust yourself to answer that properly, so you simply let him turn you again, slower now, until the quartet's song began, gently, to wind itself down toward its close—and he did not release you when the last note faded. He only stood there, forehead nearly resting against yours, his breath uneven in a way that had nothing to do with the dance at all.
"I have something for you," he said.
"Another note tucked into a programme?" You glanced pointedly toward your gloves, empty tonight, and felt the ghost-weight of every folded scrap of paper that had ever lived there. "I confess I have grown rather fond of the tradition."
"Not tonight." His gaze moved, deliberate, toward the absurd little bed of quilts at the center of the room. "Under the pillow."
You blinked at him. "I beg your pardon?"
"Go and look," he said, and there was something in his voice now—that same low, frayed thing you had heard in the corridor once, stripped of all its careful architecture. "Please."
You went. Of course you went. You had been walking toward whatever this man asked of you, in one form or another, since you were far too young to know better, and you were long past pretending you intended to stop now.
You knelt at the edge of the makeshift bed—absurd, you thought again, and beautiful for exactly that reason, because nothing that mattered between the two of you had ever once occurred in a room built for the purpose—and slid your hand beneath the pillow.
Paper met your fingers. Familiar paper. That same small, folded square, his handwriting small and precise and insufferably neat on the outside, the way it had been on every note that had ever found its way past a footman's discretion or a programme's gilded edge.
You unfolded it with hands that were not steady in the slightest.
the stars were never the argument. you were. will you marry me? — s
You read it once and twice. You looked up—
...and he was no longer standing where you had left him.
He was on one knee, there among the orchids and the trailing jasmine his mother had spent three seasons failing to grow anywhere else in London, the glass ceiling holding its scattered handful of stars steady above his dark head, and in his open palm sat a ring that caught what little candlelight the room permitted and turned it, impossibly, into something with its own small and private gravity.
"Seonghyeon—"
"I have rehearsed this," he cleared his throat, before you could get any further, his voice not quite steady either, which undid you more thoroughly than any composure could have. "I have rehearsed it a great many times, actually, mostly while riding, which Juhoon informs me is a poor use of a horse's patience, and I intended to say something considerably more eloquent than what I am about to say, but I find, now that I am here, that I would rather simply tell you the truth of it."
You pressed your free hand to your mouth. It did nothing to steady you.
"I spent two years believing that loving you was a debt I could not afford to owe," he said. "That if I let myself want you the way I wanted you, I would become a boy who needed something so badly that losing it would hollow him out entirely—the way I watched it hollow out my mother. I thought safety meant distance. I thought duty meant refusing you at every turn a door opened between us, and I told myself, every single time, that I was protecting you from something, when in truth I was only protecting myself from the terror of choosing you and meaning it."
The tears had already started; you did not bother fighting them.
"I have been practicing the art of restraint and calling it that instead of what it really was: cowardice.”
“You called me a coward once, in your drawing room, and you were entirely right to. You called me a liar in a corridor not far from where we first learned each other's handwriting in the dark of a masquerade, and you were right about that too. I have been, in more ways than I can properly count, every unkind and accurate thing you have ever said about me.” He sniffed. And continued.
“But you kept coming back to the dent in the wall and the stars through the glass and the jasmine that should not survive and somehow does, and you kept choosing, again and again, to let me stumble my way toward honesty instead of simply giving up on me entirely—and I do not know what I did to deserve a heart so much more patient and so much braver than my own, but I am no longer interested in deserving it. I am only interested in spending the whole of my life earning it, one ordinary morning at a time, for as long as you will allow me the privilege."
He drew one unsteady breath.
"So. Here is my question, asked properly, in a room that has already watched us fall in love roughly four separate times without either of us noticing until it was very nearly too late." His thumb moved over the ring, and his eyes—dark, wet at the edges, entirely undefended—did not once leave yours.
"Will you marry me? Not the girl in the mask. Not the voice through a garden hedge. You. In the daylight, with my name on your lips instead of my title, for the rest of whatever years we are given."
The glass roof held its breath above you both. Somewhere beyond it, the real sky went on turning the way it always had, indifferent and enormous and entirely unbothered by the smallness of two people finally standing still long enough to be honest with each other.
You thought, absurdly, of a six-year-old girl informing an eight-year-old boy that she would rather marry a fern. You thought of a corridor and a dent in old paneling.
You thought of a terrace, and a mask, and a hundred conversations conducted at a careful, cowardly distance because neither of you had yet learned that love was not the thing that hollowed a person out—it was the thing that finally, mercifully, filled the space fear had spent years digging.
You thought: this is what the swan was waiting for all along. Not flight. Just this—arms open, wide enough at last to hold what had always been circling home.
"Yes," you said, and the word broke apart on the way out of you, half laughter, half something closer to relief so total it felt like grief's twin. "Yes, Seonghyeon. Every version of that question, every time, for the rest of my life—yes."
He came up off his knee so quickly you barely saw the movement, and then his hands were at your face, careful and shaking in exactly the way they always were when he had let all his armor drop at once, and he kissed you there in the green dark of the conservatory with the stars watching through the glass and the ridiculous, beautiful bed of quilts at your feet and his mother's stubborn jasmine perfuming the whole impossible night around you.
When he finally drew back, his forehead resting against yours, both of you laughing and crying in some tangled, breathless combination that no orchestra could have scored properly, he slid the ring onto your finger with hands that had not yet stopped trembling.
"You have been right about all of it," he murmured, against your hair, against your temple, against every place he had ever been too afraid to touch in daylight and now could not seem to stop, "since you were six years old and I was too proud and too frightened to admit it."
You laughed, wet and unsteady, and thought—could not help but think—of the very first vow either of you had ever made to the other, sworn in a different room of this same house a lifetime ago, with all the fierce and wounded dignity that only six years old could summon over a matter of dance steps.
"You are staring," you giggled and told him, as he turned you neatly beneath the chandelier's light, his gaze fixed upon your face with an intensity that made your skin warm despite the coolness of the room.
"I am allowed to stare now," he said, drawing you fractionally closer than propriety strictly permitted, though no one in the room seemed inclined to remark upon it, least of all your mother, who stood near the refreshment table dabbing at her eyes for what you suspected was the fourth or fifth time that evening. "I have spent two years perfecting the art of not staring, of looking away the moment anyone might notice, of cataloguing you from the corner of my eye rather than permitting myself the luxury of simply looking, and I find I have very little patience left for the exercise now that I am not obliged to pretend otherwise."
"How very tragic for you," you said, though you could not keep the smile from your own voice, nor from the corners of your mouth, which had not stopped their soft, involuntary curve since the moment he had claimed you for this dance.
"Dreadfully tragic," he agreed, and something shifted in his expression then, the teasing warmth giving way to something quieter, more searching, as he studied your face beneath the candlelight as though committing it freshly to memory.
"What is it," you asked, slowing your steps slightly, though the music carried you onward regardless.
"I am simply thinking," he said, "that I very nearly did not have this. That I spent two years so thoroughly convinced I could not afford to want you that I came within a hair's breadth of watching you marry another man entirely, of standing at the edge of some other ballroom for the rest of my life, watching you dance with someone who was not me, and telling myself I had made the safe and sensible choice."
"But you did not," you reminded him gently, your hand tightening slightly where it rested against his shoulder. "You found your courage, in the end, however long it took you to locate it."
"I found it because you would not let me hide any longer," he said. "I want that understood properly, tonight of all nights. Whatever courage I have managed belongs at least as much to you as it does to me. You are the one who climbed down a trellis in the dark for a fortnight straight. You are the one who marched into Keonho's drawing room and told him the truth when it would have been so much easier to simply let the whole matter continue quietly. You are the braver of the two of us, and I think you have always known it, even when you were accusing me of cowardice."
"I never once denied being the braver of the two of us," you said, laughing despite the sudden, unexpected sting of tears behind your eyes. "I simply required you to catch up to me eventually."
"I have caught up," he said, his voice dropping lower now, meant only for you despite the crowded room around you. "I intend to spend the whole of my life proving precisely how thoroughly I have caught up, if you will permit me the years to do it properly."
"I believe," you said, "that is rather the entire point of the ring you have already given me."
He laughed then, low and warm, the sound of it settling something contented deep in your chest, and drew you closer still as the music swelled toward its final turns, his hand warm and certain at the small of your back, and you thought, looking up at him beneath the candlelight, that you had never in your life seen him look quite so unguarded, so entirely without armor, as he did in this single ordinary moment, dancing with you in a room full of people who now knew the whole truth of what you were to each other and had, every one of them, chosen to celebrate it rather than condemn it.
"Seonghyeon," you said softly, as the final notes of the waltz began to fade around you, the dancers slowing, the candlelight seeming, for one suspended instant, to hold perfectly still along with the rest of the room.
"Yes," he said, his forehead coming to rest lightly against yours, close enough now that the rest of the ballroom had narrowed itself down to nothing beyond the small space between your two faces.
"I am glad you asked me to run away with you," you told him, "even though I said no. I think I needed to hear it asked, just the once, to understand how thoroughly you meant everything else that came after."
"I shall ask you again someday," he murmured, "on some ordinary afternoon, when neither of us has any particular reason to say yes or no to it, simply so you may know I would still mean it, trellis and all."
"I shall hold you to that."
"I would expect nothing less," he said, and then, before you could offer any further reply, he bent his head and kissed you there in the middle of the ballroom, before God and both families and the whole of the assembled ton, softly and thoroughly and without a single trace of the restraint that had defined the whole of your acquaintance until now.
You heard, distantly, your mother's soft, delighted gasp, and Eunji's triumphant laugh, and Martin's loud, undignified whoop of approval, and none of it mattered in the slightest, none of it reached you at all beyond the warm, steady certainty of Seonghyeon's mouth against yours and the candlelight glowing gold behind your closed eyes.
𝑽𝑰𝑰.
Six years old, and you were entirely certain you would never marry anyone half so insufferable as Eom Seonghyeon.
"You are doing it wrong," you informed him, for perhaps the fourth time that afternoon, your small hands planted firmly on your hips in a fair imitation of the stern expression your own governess wore whenever Martin misbehaved at his lessons, as your own governess counted the steps from her chair in the corner of the Eom drawing room.
Her voice was patient and even, and Seonghyeon, eight years old and already possessed of an infuriating confidence in his own correctness, steered you firmly in the entirely wrong direction across the polished floor.
"I am not," he snorted, with the particular stubbornness of a boy who had never once, in the whole of his short life, considered the possibility that he might be mistaken about anything. "You are simply too short to see the proper line of it. If you were taller, you would understand."
"I am not short. You are entirely too tall, and it is not my fault that your legs grew before your sense did, which Eunji says happens to boys quite often."
"Eunji is my sister, and she does not know everything, whatever she claims."
"She knows more than you," you informed him, with the absolute, unshakeable certainty of a child who had recently adopted an older girl's every opinion as her own personal gospel. "She told me so herself, and I believed her, because unlike you, she has never once led me directly into the potted fern."
"That happened a single time."
"It happened twice, and you blamed the fern both times, which I do not think is entirely fair to the fern, which cannot defend itself."
"You are entirely too concerned with the feelings of a plant."
"Someone must be, since you clearly are not," you said, and stepped rather deliberately upon his foot, watching with considerable satisfaction as his composure cracked at last.
He yelped, hopping backward on one foot with an expression of such profound and theatrical betrayal that your governess, from her corner, made a small, strangled sound that might have been a laugh disguised, poorly, as a cough. "You did that on purpose."
"I did," you agreed, entirely unrepentant, "because you would not listen when I told you politely that you were doing it wrong, and I have found that some people only understand a lesson once it has been delivered rather more directly."
"That is a terrible philosophy."
"It worked, did it not."
He rubbed his foot with an expression of great and lingering betrayal, though you noticed, even at six years old, that he did not actually seem particularly angry, only wounded in the dramatic way boys of eight tended to be wounded over matters of pride rather than actual injury.
Your governess sighed from her corner with the particular, weary patience of a woman who had long since given up any hope of a peaceful lesson whenever the two of you were paired together, which, given how often your families' visits overlapped, was rather more often than she likely would have preferred.
"I shall have you know," Seonghyeon informed you, drawing himself up to his full and, in his own estimation, considerable height, "that I intend never, under any circumstances, to marry a girl who cannot even follow a simple step properly. I have decided this quite firmly, and I do not intend to change my mind about it."
"Good," you told him, crossing your arms with equal and opposite firmness, "because I should never marry anyone as cheesy and insufferable as you, Eom Seonghyeon, not if you were the very last gentleman in the whole of England, and I mean that with my whole heart, and I shall likely still mean it tomorrow, and the day after that, and every day for the rest of my entire life."
"Good," he said again, though something in his expression, some small, uncertain flicker you did not have the years yet to properly name, suggested he had not entirely enjoyed the exchange as thoroughly as his words implied.
"Good," you agreed, and the two of you glared at one another across the drawing room floor with all the fierce, wounded dignity that only very young children could summon over a matter of dance steps, until your governess, with visible effort, called the lesson to its merciful conclusion, and Eunji swept in from the hallway to declare that she had heard the whole argument through the door and found it, on the whole, tremendously entertaining.
Years later, turning slowly beneath the candlelight of a conservatory with his hand warm and certain at your waist and his ring newly settled upon your finger, catching the light each time you moved, Seonghyeon bent his head to murmur, low and warm against your ear, that he had never in the whole of his life been so entirely, thoroughly pleased to be proven wrong about anything.
"I believe," you told him, laughing softly against his shoulder as the music carried you both through another slow turn, "that you owe a certain fern an apology, all these years later."
"I shall see to it directly," he said, perfectly solemn, though his eyes were bright with the particular fondness that had come to live there so easily these past weeks, "the very moment I am finished proving to you, quite thoroughly and for the whole of our lives together, that even the most insufferable of boys may eventually learn to lead properly, given sufficient time and sufficient reason."
"And what reason was that?"
"You," he said simply, drawing you closer still as the final notes of the evening's music began to swell around you both. "You were always the reason, from the very first afternoon in that drawing room, however many years it took me to learn the proper steps of admitting it."
You thought, looking up at him beneath the warm gold light of the conservatory, of every careful year that had stood between that first stubborn afternoon and this one. Of every restraint you had both practiced and finally, joyfully, abandoned, and understood, with a certainty that settled deep and permanent in your chest, that whatever art there had ever been in holding yourselves apart from one another, you had both, at long last, unlearned it completely.
I shall never marry anyone as cheesy and insufferable as you, Eom Seonghyeon, not if you were the very last gentleman in the whole of England.
Good.
Good.
You had meant it then, with your whole small heart, certain in the particular unshakeable way of a child who did not yet know that some promises were only the shape love wore before it had learned its own name. You had meant it every year after, too, in one form or another—at fourteen, watching him point out a swan you refused to see; on a terrace, insisting it was a mistake; in a drawing room, telling him you were done; standing very still while he chose fear over you and calling it, at the time, the last of it.
And you meant this now, kneeling in the wreckage of every version of that old vow, his ring catching the glass-filtered starlight on your hand and his mouth still warm against your temple:
that the insufferable boy who had once sworn never to marry you had spent the whole of his life, without either of you quite noticing, keeping every promise except that one—and that you would go on breaking it with him, gladly, for as long as the stars above this particular glass roof cared to keep watch.
warnings + info. bridgerton au, enemies to lovers, best friend's brother, forbidden love, situationship (as much as it could be in the 1800s), kissing, reader is an edwards, morally grey characters, bordering emotional infidelity, lowk toxic mindsets, love triangle w keonho kinda…
TAoR— TABLE OF CONTENTS...!
synopsis. the edwards family and the eom family have always moved in the same circle. you and seonghyeon have spent years perfecting the art of avoidance after... well. after his father's funeral when you both said things you couldn't take back. but the ton is small, his sister is your best friend, and eventually you run out of excuses and arguments. especially when he's looking at you like that across the ballroom. the only thing is… you’re soon to be engaged. will he get to your hand before a ring does?
TAoR PLAYLIST
LISTEN TO… enchanted, guilty as sin? all too well: ten minute version and illicit affairs by taylor swift ... fallen star by the nbhd ... self control by frank ocean ... almost is never enough by ariana grande ... iloveitiloveitiloveit by bella kay ... close to you by gracie abrams ... we'll never have sex by leith ross ... i couldn't be more in love by the 1975 ... 18 by one direction ... memories by conan gray
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maddy's note. THEEEE ENDDDDD!!! i really am not sure how to feel about this but i know i loved writing this and shoutout to benedict and sophie because hyeonyn is completely what inspired me to even write this monster of a fic :))) don't ask me why this part is so long and why it took me so long.........
The words arrived so quietly, and with such disarming steadiness, that you very nearly lost your footing on the trellis entirely, one slipper skidding against a damp knot of ivy before you managed to catch yourself against the cold stone of the wall, your heart lurching up into your throat with a violence entirely disproportionate to the words themselves.
Below you, Seonghyeon did not so much as flinch. He stood with his hands loosely clasped behind his back, his weight settled easily onto one hip in the loose, unhurried manner of a man who had nowhere else in the world he would rather be, his head tipped up toward you as though he had not just proposed the single most reckless thing either of you had said aloud in a fortnight already thick with reckless things.
You finished your descent with rather less grace than you would have liked, one hand scraping against rough stone, your slippers finally meeting solid earth with a soft, uneven thud, and you turned to find him watching you with an expression that was, infuriatingly, entirely serious.
He had abandoned his cravat again tonight, the collar of his shirt open at the throat in a way that would have scandalized his mother and undone you both equally, and the moonlight fell in a pale wash over the sharp line of his jaw, catching in the dark waves of his hair, still faintly damp at the temples from whatever ride or wager had occupied his evening before he had come to find you beneath your own window.
"I beg your pardon?" you managed, once your slippers had properly found the earth and your pulse had made some small effort at recovering itself.
"Run away with me," he repeated, and had the audacity to look as though he had given the matter considerable and sober thought. "Tonight, if you like. We could be past the border within the week."
You meant to laugh. You meant for it to come out light, the way it always did when he said something outrageous simply to watch your face change—but the sound that left you was thinner than you intended, because some traitorous part of you had not laughed at all. Some part of you had gone very still and very quiet and had, God help you, actually pictured it.
A hired carriage. The road unspooling dark and empty beneath a sky gone thick with stars, no ballroom candles to compete with them. Your own hand in his the entire way, uninterrupted, no need to release it the moment a servant passed or a curtain twitched at a window. No cravat to straighten before he could be seen. No formalities to observe, no careful two feet of distance to maintain at every dinner, no Whistledown waiting with her pen sharpened for the smallest infraction.
Only the two of you, and whatever inn they stopped at past midnight, and the particular novelty of waking to his face without either of you having to invent a reason for how you came to be in the same room.
It was, you thought, with a kind of helpless, sinking clarity, not merely a fantasy. It was the fantasy. The one you had not permitted yourself to examine too closely on any of the fourteen nights that had led to this one, because examining it meant admitting how badly some small, unreasonable part of you wanted precisely this—wanted it enough that your next breath came out unsteady.
"You must be delusional." You reached up without quite thinking and pressed the back of your hand to his forehead, checking with genuine and rather comical alarm for some manner of fever, your fingers finding only warm, familiar skin.
"I am perfectly fine," he assured you, though he did not pull away from your hand, tipping his face slightly into the touch instead, his eyes falling briefly shut, which did nothing whatsoever to steady your traitorous pulse.
You withdrew your hand before it could betray you further. "You are simply too late, Mr. Eom." You crossed your arms with what you hoped was convincing severity. "I am to be a very respectably betrothed woman before the season is through, or so my mother informs me weekly, over breakfast, at considerable length, whether or not I have asked."
"I am aware you are betrothed." He caught your wrist gently before you could fully withdraw it, his thumb tracing an idle, distracted line over the thin skin where your pulse fluttered rather too quickly for your liking. "To me. In every meaningful sense that matters. We have simply neglected the tedious business of informing anyone else of the arrangement."
You stared up at him in the dark hush of the garden, the scent of late roses thick and heavy in the cooling air, and you let yourself, for one moment longer than was wise, actually weigh it.
Properly weigh it, the way you had not let yourself weigh anything in two years of careful management—not because it was foolish (though it was) but because some part of you had grown so unused to wanting things plainly, without qualification, that the wanting itself felt dangerous. You thought of what it would be to simply go. To let the wanting win, for once, instead of everything that came after the wanting.
And then you thought of your mother's face.
Not as it was now, hopeful every time his name came up over breakfast, but as it would be the morning after—reading a note left on your pillow, understanding all at once what you had done and why, and having to carry that understanding into whatever room your absence would leave behind.
You thought of Wonyoung, who would be made to answer for a scandal that had never once been hers to carry, not really, not any of it. You thought of James, jaw setting the way it always did when responsibility landed somewhere he had not chosen it, smoothing over a hole torn clean through the family's name because his sister had wanted, and had not waited.
The fantasy did not vanish so much as it went quiet, folding itself back down into the small, private place you kept it, and you felt something in your chest cool by careful, reluctant degrees into something steadier.
"We are being selfish," you said slowly, watching the fever in his eyes bank into something quieter as you spoke, watching him hear you and actually listen. "And rather stupid, actually, if we are being entirely honest with one another."
He exhaled. It was long and slow, the wildness draining out of his expression. "We are," he conceded, low. "We do not need to run to the ends of the earth for this. We only need to stop hiding in gardens like a pair of children who believe the dark renders them invisible."
"That is considerably less romantic than Scotland," you pointed out, though you could not entirely suppress the smile tugging at your own mouth.
"It is considerably more honest," he returned, "which I am endeavoring, with great and continual difficulty, to make into something of a habit."
You laughed then, soft and helpless and entirely too fond, and allowed him to draw you the remaining few steps into the deep shadow thrown by the garden wall, his hand warm and certain at the small of your back.
"Two days," you told him, your palm flat against his chest as though you needed something solid to steady the words against. "Give me two days to be certain. Truly certain, Seonghyeon, and not merely certain in the dark of a garden where nothing feels quite real. And then we shall tell them everything, I promise you."
"Two days," he repeated, testing the shape of it in his mouth as though it tasted poorly.
"Two days," you confirmed.
"Fine." The word came out clipped, entirely unconvinced, his jaw setting in the particular stubborn line you had once found infuriating and now, God help you, found almost endearing.
"Fine," you echoed, matching his tone precisely, which only made the corner of his mouth twitch harder against his will.
He rolled his eyes toward the sky, toward the dark canopy of stars visible above the garden wall, with the exact put-upon exasperation of a man being asked to endure some great and unreasonable hardship, and you found yourself so entirely, hopelessly fond of him in that single unguarded moment that you rose onto your toes without any further thought and pressed a slow, lingering kiss to his cheek instead of his jaw, feeling the muscle there jump beneath your lips, hearing the soft, surprised catch of his breath.
"Two days," he muttered again, though softer now, his hand coming up to rest against the small of your back as if to keep you there a moment longer. "I shall count every hour of it, and I want that understood before you climb back up that trellis and leave me standing here like a fool."
"Understood," you said, laughing quietly against his shoulder before you finally drew back and gathered your skirts to climb once more into the dark, his eyes following you the entire way up.
You did not look down again until your hand had found the sill, until your knee had cleared the ledge and the warm, familiar dark of your own room had closed around you—and even then you allowed yourself only the smallest glance, just enough to see him still standing there below, hands in his pockets now, watching your window with an expression you could not properly read at this distance but felt anyway, low and warm, somewhere beneath your ribs.
You drew the curtain.
And nearly screamed.
"If you make a single sound," Wonyoung said, from the chair she had pulled directly in front of your own hearth, her arms crossed and her expression arranged into something that managed to be simultaneously furious and entirely, maddeningly composed, "you will wake Mama, and then we shall all have considerably larger difficulties than the ones you are currently pretending not to have."
You pressed a hand to your chest, your heart still hammering from the climb and now, considerably worse, from the sight of your sister sitting in judgment not four feet from your own window with the candles lit and her spine held so straight it looked as though it pained her.
Wonhee was curled in the window seat itself, knees drawn up beneath her nightgown, and she did not look remotely troubled. She looked, in fact, delighted—leaning forward with both hands braced on the sill, her eyes bright and wide and fixed on you with the particular avid attention of someone who had been waiting all evening for precisely this.
"You climbed down the trellis," Wonhee said, in a whisper that was somehow louder than a normal speaking voice. "The actual trellis. In your slippers. Did he catch you? I could not properly see from here, the angle is dreadful, I have been meaning to say something to the gardener about that hedge for weeks—"
"Wonhee." Wonyoung did not so much as glance at her. Her eyes had not left your face since you had turned from the window, and there was something in them that was not quite anger, though it wore anger's shape—something closer, you thought with a fresh drop of your stomach, to fear that had curdled, over the course of a long evening's waiting, into something sharper.
"What," you said, striving for lightness and landing somewhere considerably short of it, "are you both doing in my room at this hour?"
"Waiting for you," Wonyoung said, "to come back through that window, which you have now done for the fourth time this fortnight by my count, though I confess I may have lost track somewhere around the second week, as you have apparently stopped troubling yourself to be discreet about the hour."
"I have been perfectly discreet—"
"You have been perfectly reckless," Wonyoung said, and her voice, though still pitched low for the sake of the sleeping house, had gained an edge that made you go still. "Do you have any notion—any notion at all—of what it would mean, should someone see you? Not Seonghyeon creeping about beneath a window in the dark, which is entirely his own affair and his own risk to run. You. Climbing down the side of our own house in your nightclothes to meet a man in a garden, unchaperoned, past midnight, for the fourth time in a fortnight that I have personally witnessed and God knows how many more that I have not."
"Nobody saw," you said. "Nobody ever sees. We are careful—"
"You are not careful," Wonyoung said. "You are fortunate, which is an entirely different thing and a considerably less reliable one. Fortune runs out, sister. It runs out the moment a footman cannot sleep and takes it into his head to walk the garden, or a neighbor's window happens to be open on the one night you have chosen to linger a quarter hour longer than usual, or—" She stopped herself, visibly, her jaw tightening around whatever else she had been about to say, and looked away toward the fire instead, her hands twisting together in her lap in a gesture you did not, in that moment, think anything of at all.
"It was thrilling," Wonhee put in, entirely undeterred by her elder sister's tone, scooting further forward on the window seat as though proximity to you might allow some of the evening's excitement to transfer directly into her. "I have never in my life seen anything so romantic. He simply stood there beneath your window like something out of a novel, and you climbed down to him in the dark, and I do not care what Wonyoung says, I think it is the loveliest thing that has happened to anyone in this family in years—"
"You are fifteen," Wonyoung said, finally turning her attention toward their youngest sister with the particular weariness of someone who had already had some version of this argument several times that evening and did not relish having it again. "You do not yet understand what is actually at stake, and I would ask that you not encourage her further, as she requires considerably less encouragement in this direction than she already has."
"I understand a great deal more than you credit me for," Wonhee said, stung, drawing her knees tighter to her chest. "I understand that she has spent two years being perfectly proper and perfectly sensible and perfectly miserable, and now she is not miserable any longer, and you would like her to go back to being careful and sensible and unhappy simply because it is safer."
"I would like her to still have a family name worth marrying into, should this all go wrong," Wonyoung snapped, and then seemed to hear the sharpness of her own voice and softened it, visibly, with what looked like real effort. "I am not asking her to be unhappy. I am asking her to be careful, because I do not think either of you understands yet how quickly a fortnight of moonlit gardens becomes a season's worth of ruin, if the wrong person happens to be watching at the wrong moment."
Something in the particular certainty of that—the wrong person happens to be watching—settled oddly in your chest, though you could not, in the tangle of the evening's feeling, have said precisely why.
"Nobody is watching," you said again, more gently now, crossing the room to sit on the edge of your own bed, suddenly and entirely exhausted in the particular way that came only after a night spent balanced between terror and joy in roughly equal measure. "Truly, Wonyoung. I know how it must look. I know what it would mean, should it come out badly. But it is only two more days. Two days, and then we tell everyone properly, and there will be nothing left to discover."
Wonyoung looked at you for a long moment, and something moved behind her eyes that you did not, that night, have the wherewithal to properly read—something that might, in a different light, have looked almost like guilt, though you would not understand that for what it was until Whistledown's column arrived with breakfast the following morning and the whole shape of the evening rearranged itself in your memory, sister's warning and sister's watching gaze taking on a weight you had not, in your exhaustion, thought to give them at the time.
"Two days," Wonyoung said finally, rising from the chair and smoothing her skirts with hands that were not, you would later recall, entirely steady. "See that it is only two, sister. I do not think either of us wants to discover what happens should it become three."
She left without further word, and Wonhee, after a last, longing glance toward the window as though she might yet extract some further detail of the evening's romance before the opportunity closed entirely, followed her out with considerably less grace, already whispering something about trellises that made Wonhee's shoulders stiffen visibly in the doorway.
You sat alone in the candlelight a long while after, turning the whole strange shape of the evening over in your mind, and thought nothing more of it than that your sister worried, as sisters did, and that morning would bring only two more days of waiting before none of it mattered any longer.
You did not yet know how wrong you were.
𝑰𝑰.
The breakfast room was already warm when you entered, all morning light and clinking china and the soft, familiar chaos of your family pretending to be more orderly than it was. Your mother had the newspaper folded beside her plate, James was already halfway through a piece of toast, Wonhee looked far too awake for the hour, and Wonyoung—of course Wonyoung—was sitting with that maddeningly composed expression she wore whenever she had either noticed something she did not yet intend to say aloud or had already decided what you ought to have done differently.
You hesitated at the threshold only long enough to regret it. It was ridiculous, really, how one quiet room and four familiar faces could make you feel as though you were walking into a trial instead of breakfast. Nothing in the room suggested danger.
There was no one speaking in hushed tones, no dramatic silence, no meaningful glances being exchanged in some elaborate conspiracy against you. Your family looked exactly as it always did in the morning: a little sleepy, a little preoccupied, and only mildly interested in whatever trouble the rest of the world was making.
That, more than anything, was what made it difficult to breathe properly. They did not know. They had no idea that your pulse had not quite settled since last night, that your thoughts had been badly and permanently rearranged by a conversation in a garden and a pair of hands that had been much too warm at your waist. They were simply waiting for you to sit down and join them, while you stood there with the strange sense that you had brought half of the night with you and were trying to keep it hidden beneath your sleeves.
“Good morning,” your mother said, looking up first, her tone gentle enough to be almost suspicious.
“Morning,” you replied, aiming for the same calm.
Wonhee brightened at once. “You’re late.”
“I am not late,” you said, because if you were going to be accused of anything before breakfast, you preferred it to be something you could at least contest. “I am precisely on time for the portion of breakfast where everyone begins asking me rude questions.”
James snorted into his tea. Your mother made a look of mild offense that was undercut by the corner of her mouth threatening to smile. Even Wonyoung’s expression shifted by the smallest degree, though you could not have said whether it was amusement or warning. You took your seat with as much dignity as you could manage, which was to say not much more than a woman who had spent the last several hours trying not to think too hard about gardens, trellises, or the exact texture of a man’s voice when he said her name like it meant something.
A servant poured your tea. Toast arrived, then eggs. The ordinary rhythm of the room settled around you, and you almost let yourself believe that perhaps the morning would remain harmless after all. It was one of your family’s greatest talents, really, to seem entirely normal while somehow carrying the emotional weight of five separate conversations at once.
Wonhee asked after the weather with the seriousness of a person who had just discovered that the day might contain interesting weather. James returned to his paper. Your mother murmured something to the servant at the sideboard. And Wonyoung, still and observant, took a careful sip of tea and then, with the exact tone of someone making a comment about ribbon color, said, “Mr. Ahn is calling this afternoon, then?”
You kept your face pleasantly neutral, which was a good deal harder than it sounded.
“Yes,” you said. “He is.”
“Excellent,” your mother said, and there was nothing odd in the word at all, which only made it more unsettling. “He seemed very proper yesterday.”
“He did,” you agreed, because it was true and because there was no safe way to disagree without sounding as though you were preparing to object to the existence of manners themselves.
“He was rather handsome,” Wonhee added with direct, terrible cheer.
“Wonhee,” your mother said at once, though not with any real force.
“What?” she asked innocently. “He is.”
James lowered his paper enough to glance over it. “That was not the part of the observation I found most compelling.”
“What part did you find most compelling?” Wonhee asked.
“That he was kind,” James said, “which is usually more useful than handsome and considerably rarer.”
Your mother nodded once, approving. “Exactly.”
You watched the exchange with a small, inward twist of feeling you did not quite know what to do with. Keonho was kind. You had already decided that was true, and the trouble was that it made him dangerously easy to like, especially when compared to someone who had never once been easy and had somehow still become the standard by which you measured everyone else.
You stared down at your plate and found yourself thinking, with no little bitterness, that your heart ought to have been simpler about this. It would have been much more convenient if Keonho had been unbearable, or vain, or given you some obvious flaw to cling to. Instead, he was exactly the sort of man your family would approve of, and exactly the sort of man you should have wanted without having to argue with yourself about it at every turn.
Wonyoung’s eyes flicked to your face, so quick you might have missed it if you had not already been watching her too. She had that look again, the one that suggested she had noticed something and was keeping it carefully folded away for the moment. It was not accusation, not really. It was worse in some ways, because it was patience. That quiet, dangerous patience of someone who had already noticed too much and was waiting for the rest to become impossible to ignore.
You looked away before she could decide to keep looking.
“Will he stay long?” Wonyoung asked.
“Who?” your mother said, though she clearly knew.
“Mr. Ahn,” Wonyoung replied. “Though I suppose the answer is likely yes, unless someone frightens him off.”
James made a noncommittal sound. “You are assuming much of the competition.”
Wonyoung laughed into her tea. “You say that as though I mean everyone.”
The room was still light enough to seem harmless, and that helped. It really did. You could almost let yourself sit in it without bracing if you did not think too hard about the shape of the conversation. It was only breakfast. Only family. Only a possible suitor and a ball tonight and the usual household nonsense arranged around a morning table. That was the astonishing thing about it, the way a single life-changing week could still begin with eggs and toast and ordinary teasing about men as if nothing in the world had yet shifted into place.
And then, as though the morning had decided you were becoming too comfortable, Wonhee tilted her head and said, “Isn’t Mr. Eom attending tonight too?”
You very nearly missed your tea.
It was the sort of question that sounded casual enough on the surface, the sort of question a sister might toss out while buttering toast, but it hit you with such direct force that you had to take a second longer than usual to remember how to arrange your face. Of course he was attending. Of course he was. He always attended. He would arrive looking devastatingly composed and infuriatingly calm, and you would spend half the evening pretending not to notice him while noticing him so much that it felt like a physical illness.
“Yes,” your mother said before you could decide whether to answer or not. “I believe he will be.”
“He always is,” James added dryly.
“That is because he is far too handsome to stay away from a room where people can look at him,” Wonhee said, and then grinned when James gave her a flat look. “What? It is true.”
Wonyoung set her cup down with deliberate care. “He is also too vain to miss a room full of witnesses.”
You made a small sound that was meant to be amusement and came out more like an effort not to laugh. That, more than anything, was what kept the breakfast from becoming unbearable. Your family’s teasing still felt like teasing, still felt normal enough to belong to the same house and the same table, which meant you could laugh with them instead of sitting there as if you were already a stranger.
Wonyoung was delighted by the idea of Seonghyeon being vain. James was amused by the idea of him being too aware of his own face. Your mother was only vaguely disapproving in the way of a woman who had seen too many eligible men with too much confidence. None of them knew that the mention of his name had stirred up a hundred separate memories you had not asked to carry into the morning. None of them knew that you were suddenly, vividly aware of his presence in the same way one is aware of weather approaching over the horizon.
Your mother’s expression shifted toward practical concern again. “And Miss Hartwell?”
At that, Wonhee perked immediately. “Oh, yes. She was rather obvious yesterday, was she not?”
“Wonhee,” your mother said, though she was clearly already interested.
“What?” Wonhee repeated. “She kept standing close enough to Mr. Eom that I began to wonder whether she had mistaken him for a post and was considering tying herself to it.”
James laughed under his breath into his tea.
You should have laughed too, and almost did, because the image was absurd enough to be funny. But beneath the amusement there was the small, sharp sting of something you did not entirely like naming. It was not that Miss Hartwell mattered in any serious sense. It was that any woman near him, any woman with the nerve to smile at him as though she had the right, made some primitive and irritating part of you want to step between them. Which was ridiculous. Infuriatingly ridiculous. He had not asked you for any claim upon him. You had not given one. You had only last night stood in the dark with the possibility of a future so frighteningly vivid that you had almost let yourself reach for it.
Wonyoung’s eyes met yours across the table again.
This time there was the barest hint of something in them, something that might have been amusement if it had not also looked a little too knowing. You felt your stomach tighten. She looked away first, which was almost worse, because it meant she had seen whatever she needed to see and had decided not to discuss it in front of the others.
That, at least, you could be grateful for.
Your mother sighed lightly. “Miss Hartwell does seem determined to be noticed.”
“That is one way of putting it,” James chuckled.
Wonhee, emboldened now, leaned her chin into her hand and said, “Well, if she is trying to encourage Mr. Eom into something foolish, I hope she fails.”
You almost choked on your tea.
“Wonhee,” your mother said, with only the faintest smile now, “must everything be phrased as if it belongs in a novel?”
“Yes,” Wonhee said immediately. “Otherwise it is boring.”
That earned her a real laugh from James, and even your mother gave in with a brief, helpless smile. The room remained light, still familiar, still anchored in the easy comfort of family, and yet your thoughts kept sliding sideways, back toward the evening ahead, toward the ball, toward the way you would have to stand under all those lights and pretend your heart was not in danger of revealing itself to the first person sharp enough to notice.
Then your mother, in the same practical tone she used for everything from invitations to household crises, said, “Wonyoung, dear, would you read the paper? I saw something about the garden fête and I’d like to know whether it concerns us.”
Wonyoung reached for the folded sheet with obvious obedience, though there was the faintest, strangest stillness in her hands when she opened it. You did not notice it at first because you were still trying not to think about Seonghyeon, and because it was so ordinary a motion that it should not have mattered. She unfolded the pages, scanned them, and then her expression shifted by degrees into something alert, almost imperceptibly sharpened.
You looked up. She was already reading.
It was not quickly, either. Carefully. And the carefulness of it made something at the base of your spine go cold in the most unpleasant way.
“This Author has it on excellent authority,” she read aloud, her voice light enough to sound amused, “that a certain gentleman of considerable standing has lately been seen assisting a certain lady over a garden wall quite without the benefit of a chaperone, and quite without the benefit of caution. This Author shall not name names. Yet.”
No one at the table reacted in any obviously dramatic way.
That was what made it worse.
James gave a mild snort into his cup. Your mother made a small noise of concern and interest. Wonhee looked instantly delighted, as if gossip had been delivered to her specifically on a silver tray. Even then, even with everyone still looking vaguely entertained, you felt your face change in a way you could not quite control. Your fingers, still resting against your napkin, had gone faintly rigid.
Wonyoung’s voice did not change at all. That, somehow, made it more effective.
“It does seem rather careless,” she continued, eyes still on the page. “Though, to be fair, this Author does make it sound almost charming.”
You could not tell whether she was reading the line to the room or to you specifically. Perhaps both. Perhaps that was exactly the point.
Your mother lifted her brows. “A garden wall?”
Wonhee nearly bounced in her chair. “Oh, that is romantic.”
“It is scandalous,” your mother corrected automatically, though she did not sound especially outraged.
“It is both,” James said, and then looked at you with a faint glimmer of amusement that made your stomach twist again for reasons that had very little to do with Whistledown.
You stared down at your plate because that felt safer than meeting anyone’s eye. The absurd thing was that the column had not named either of you outright, and yet it felt as though the whole room had tilted a fraction in response anyway, as though some invisible hand had tapped the center of the table and changed the balance of everything. You could feel the warmth rising in your face. Not at all enough to be disastrous, but enough to remind you that you were not nearly as composed as you wanted to appear.
Wonyoung folded the paper once more and set it down beside her plate.
When she looked up, her gaze found yours again, and this time it was not merely watchful. It was very still, very careful, and carrying so much unspoken information that your throat tightened before you even knew why.
You knew, with an almost immediate, irrational certainty, that she knew more than the others did. Not necessarily everything. But enough to make that column mean something extra. Enough for it to land with a strange weight in her hands.
Still, she said nothing.
That in itself was a message.
Your mother was now asking whether the garden fête had been hosted by anyone you knew, James was answering with some dry remark, and Wonhee was already launching into a theory about who the “certain lady” must be. Your sister was clueless as ever, seeing as she saw you inside after your garden fête. The room remained light, if slightly more animated now, and no one at all seemed alarmed.
Which should have reassured you. Instead it made you feel, very faintly, as though you were standing at the edge of a conversation you had not yet been invited to join.
And through all of it, Wonyoung kept the column folded in her hand a moment longer than necessary, as though she were deciding precisely when to speak again, and to whom.
You noticed that too.
Of course you did.
The toast turned to ash somewhere between your teeth.
You looked up sharply, your fork abandoned halfway to your plate. Martin had not noticed a thing, still half asleep over his coffee with the particular obliviousness of a man who had clearly been out far too late the night before at some card table or another, his eyes barely tracking the words Wonyoung had just read aloud. Juhoon had noticed everything, as he always did, his gaze lifting slowly from his own plate to settle upon you with the quiet, patient stillness that meant he had already drawn his own conclusions and was simply waiting, without any particular urgency, to see what you intended to do with them. James had gone very quiet indeed, his cup lowering slowly to its saucer with a small, deliberate click that seemed, in the sudden hush of the room, considerably louder than it ought to have been.
But it was Wonyoung's face you could not look away from.
She was smiling. Of course, not with malice, never malice, not from her, but with the small, satisfied curl of someone who had said precisely what she intended to say and was now watching, with visible and unmistakable interest, to see if it landed where she had aimed it. Her eyes met yours across the table, steady and unblinking, and something cold slid down the length of your spine, settling somewhere near the pit of your stomach alongside the ruined toast.
“Wonyoung,” you said, very carefully, setting down your knife with deliberate steadiness though your fingers had begun, faintly, to tremble. “Might I speak with you? Privately?”
The request came out far calmer than you felt, which was perhaps the only mercy of the moment. Your heart was beating too hard to make any real claim to composure, but you kept your voice level and your face pleasant and your posture as unremarkable as you could manage, because there was no sense in making a spectacle of this in front of the whole table when the whole table had not yet realized a spectacle was beginning. The room, for the moment, remained exactly what it had been a breath before: warm with morning light, faintly noisy with the clink of silver and china, ordinary enough to be almost cruel in its refusal to match the sensation in your chest.
Wonyoung looked up at once.
Not sharply or in alarm. Just slowly enough to make it clear she had heard the change in your tone and understood it much better than anyone else at the table possibly could. For a second, her expression held that peculiar stillness you had come to dread in her, the one that never meant nothing. Then her gaze flicked, briefly, to the folded pages beside her plate, and something in her face shifted by degrees, not quite guilt, not quite surrender, but the resigned acknowledgement of someone who had already been expecting this exact conversation and had simply chosen the moment of its arrival with more care than you would have liked.
“Of course,” she said.
Your mother, still talking to Juhoon about something to do with the solicitor, did not seem to notice anything beyond the fact that you and your sister had both gone a little quieter than the rest of the room. Wonhee, however, noticed immediately, because Wonhee noticed everything whenever there was the possibility of emotional drama to be observed from a safe distance. She looked up from her tea with bright, intrigued eyes, then very wisely did not speak, which was enough to tell you she intended to interrogate someone later if she was not otherwise occupied.
Wonyoung folded the paper once, then again, with an infuriating sort of calm, and placed it neatly beside her plate as though she were putting away an ordinary nuisance and not the thing that had just cracked the surface of your morning wide open.
Then she rose from her chair without comment, her movements controlled and precise, and the whole table, by some collective instinct, seemed to continue breathing around her as if nothing significant had just happened at all.
That, more than anything, made your skin prickle.
Because they did not know. None of them did. Your mother had no reason to suspect that your request was an act of panic thinly disguised as politeness. James was too occupied pretending not to listen. Wonhee was already halfway into the delicious prospect of wondering what you two might be up to. It was only you, and Wonyoung, and the paper folded beneath her plate like a small, sharpened threat.
You rose as well a moment later, making a small excuse about needing to speak with her about something trivial enough that no one would think to challenge it. No one did.
They only watched with passing curiosity as you and Wonyoung left the breakfast room, and then the door clicked quietly shut behind you and the ordinary noise of the house went muffled and distant all at once.
For a few steps, neither of you spoke.
The hall beyond the breakfast room was cooler, the morning light softer here, the air carrying the faint, clean smell of polished wood and the residual warmth of the kitchen below.
You could hear the murmur of voices from behind the closed door, the scrape of a chair, the unmistakable sound of Wonhee saying something under her breath that would no doubt turn into a theory of some sort before the morning was done. All of that remained behind you, and yet it felt as though you were still standing in the center of it, still exposed to the possibility that someone might call after you and ask what had happened.
Wonyoung led the way only a short distance, to the small sitting room off the corridor, the one used for private conversations and uncomfortable letters and all the quiet domestic business that could not be managed at the breakfast table. She opened the door and stepped inside first, then waited with her hand still on the frame until you followed her in.
The room was lit by pale bars of sunlight through the gauzy curtains, the morning dimmer here and more private, the air faintly cooler than the hall. Somewhere below, faintly, you could hear Martin's voice rising in belated, confused inquiry, quickly hushed by someone else at the table. It should have felt safe. Instead it felt like the kind of room where truth was usually forced to sit down and stay awhile.
Wonyoung closed the door behind you with careful finality. The click of the latch sounded louder than it should have.
You turned to face her immediately, because if you gave yourself another second to think about what you were doing, you might lose the nerve to do it at all. She stood just inside the room, hands folded loosely before her, the column no longer visible but very much still present between you like a third party neither of you had invited. Her expression was composed enough that, for one brief moment, you almost doubted yourself.
Then you looked at her properly and saw the strain she had hidden at the table, the faint tension at the corners of her mouth, the too-careful quiet of someone who had already been bracing for impact.
The room seemed smaller than it had a moment before.
“You are Whistledown.”
The words came out flat and certain, with none of the tremor you had expected from yourself, though you could feel the tremor everywhere else. In your hands, in your throat, in the strange hot pulse behind your eyes. It was almost a relief to say it. Not because it made anything easier, but because once it had been spoken, there was no longer any pretending that the shape of the morning was still intact.
Wonyoung did not blink.
She did not deny it, did not laugh, did not reach for some polished evasion that might have softened the blow. She only held your gaze for a moment longer, and in that pause you saw all the things she was not saying at once: that she had known this would come, that she had decided not to stop it, that she had likely thought through the entire conversation already and was now waiting to see which version of it you would choose first.
“Yes,” she said quietly.
The answer landed more heavily than any protest would have done.
You stared at her, speech suddenly much harder than it had any right to be. Your sister, who had sat at your side for years as though she had no more connection to the infamous pamphlets than anyone else in London, who had listened with delight and horror every time Whistledown struck too close to home, who had read the column aloud with the same mixture of amusement and outrage as the rest of your family. The realization sat in you in layers, one after another, each one more absurd than the last. She had been there every time. At breakfast. At balls. At dinners. Smiling at all the right moments. Speaking as though she were only a reader, never the writer. It was so clear now that it made your skin feel hot.
“You wrote about me,” you hummed, and even that sounded too small for the feeling behind it. “About us.”
Wonyoung’s gaze did not waver. “I did.”
You had expected her to look away, or to flinch, or to sound defensive in the way people often do when they know they have been caught. Instead she stood there with a kind of brutal calm that made the whole thing feel even more impossible.
“Because,” she went on, her voice still low, still careful, “someone in this family needed to remind you what you were risking, and you were not going to do it yourself. I have watched you for two weeks, night after night, and I have watched him too, and I am not blind. You both have been sneaking through gardens like a pair of children who have convinced themselves the dark makes them invisible. I know what it looks like from the outside, and I know what it could become if the wrong person saw at the wrong moment. It is not only your heart at stake if it all goes wrong. It is mine. It is Mama’s. It is the family name and the quiet, careful life we have all worked too hard to preserve to let one foolish scandal tear it apart.”
The words stung because they were not said with cruelty.
If she had been cruel, it would have been easier. You could have met cruelty with anger. You could have called her selfish, dramatic, unfair, and felt righteous while doing it. But this was worse. This was the voice of someone trying to be practical about a thing that felt, to you, far too personal to be handled as a matter of strategy. It was the voice of someone who had thought through the consequences and decided that honesty, however badly timed, was still kinder than silence forever.
You swallowed, and it felt like swallowing glass.
“You might simply have told me this,” you said, though the words came softer than they had any right to. “Come to my room. Said it plainly.”
Wonyoung’s mouth tightened, just slightly. “And would you have listened?”
The question was not spoken with challenge so much as weary certainty, which made it harder to answer than if she had sounded angry.
You opened your mouth, intending to say of course you would have listened, or perhaps you might have listened, or some other defense that would let you keep a little of your pride, but the truth caught in your throat before it reached your tongue. Because the ugly answer was that you did not know.
You did not know whether you would have taken her warning and lowered your head or whether you would have argued, with all the stubborn conviction you had inherited from somewhere in this family, that this was somehow different. That the rules did not quite apply. That you had enough sense to manage it. That one more night would not matter. That you and Seonghyeon were not reckless in the way she feared.
The silence that followed was answer enough.
Wonyoung’s shoulders lowered by the smallest degree, not in victory, but in the exhausted manner of someone who has long since moved past the hope of being understood immediately.
“I did not do it to wound you,” she said, and now there was a faint strain beneath the steadiness, something quieter and more personal. “I did it because I love you. Because I have watched you climb down that trellis every night and return with your face different, your whole expression altered, as though the world had become less sharp around the edges. Because I have not seen you look that alive in years, and I know exactly how dangerous it is to let yourself believe that feeling is private and untouchable. I wrapped a warning in gossip because I did not know how else to make you hear me.”
The room had gone very still.
You looked at her then, really looked at her, and for the first time you saw not just your sister but the shape of what she had been carrying alone. The caution. The fear. The calculation that must have followed every late-night glance through the window, every column she wrote, every decision to keep her own mouth shut at the table while her stomach turned over with what she knew. It made the anger in you sharpen into something more complicated, because suddenly you could not separate the betrayal from the worry, or the manipulation from the love.
That did not make it hurt less. But it made the hurt harder to hold onto cleanly.
Your hands had gone still at your sides. Your heart was still beating too fast.
Wonyoung exhaled through her nose, slow and careful, and for the first time since you had spoken she looked faintly worn down by the weight of her own composure. Not enough to soften her entirely. Not nearly enough to make her seem anything less than very certain of what she had done. But enough that the anger in your chest shifted, just slightly, from raw heat into something uglier and more complicated, because it was always easier to stay furious at someone who looked cold. It was much harder when they looked tired.
“You make it sound,” she said at last, her voice still measured, though there was a thread of strain now if you listened closely enough, “as though I enjoyed any part of this.”
“I did not say that.”
“No,” she replied, lifting her gaze to yours, “but you meant it.”
You did not answer at once, because you hated that she could still do this to you, hated how quickly she could pull you into the place where you stopped thinking like an injured sister and started thinking like someone caught too close to the truth. The room felt too small for the both of you now, all pale light and quiet surfaces, the kind of room designed for civil conversation and not for the sort of honesty that made your throat ache.
“I think,” you said carefully, because you were trying very hard not to sound as wounded as you felt, “that if you had wanted me to understand you, you might have chosen a method that did not involve printing a warning in a gossip column and letting me find out with everyone else.”
Wonyoung’s mouth twitched once, but it was not quite a smile. It was more like the ghost of one, gone before it had properly formed. “I did not let you find out with everyone else. I let you find out before everyone else could connect the dots.”
“That is a very generous way of describing it.”
“It is an accurate one.”
You almost laughed, though nothing about the moment was funny. That, perhaps, was the problem with Wonyoung—even when she was impossible, she remained just rational enough to make you question whether the argument was really about the thing you were arguing over, or whether it had been about fear all along. You looked down at your hands and then back up again, because the one thing you could not stand was how much she sounded like herself. Calm. Practical. Annoyingly composed. As if she had not just turned your private life into a public warning.
“You should have told me,” you said again, and this time it came out less as a complaint than as hurt, plain and unadorned.
Wonyoung’s expression changed at that, only a little, but enough that you saw the crease of guilt she had been refusing to show since you entered the room. “I know.”
The simplicity of the answer made your eyes sting, which only made you more annoyed, because it was terribly unfair to be angry and emotional and right all at once. You swallowed hard and tried to gather yourself, but she had already heard the fracture in your voice and was looking at you with that terrible, attentive steadiness of hers, the one that made you feel both seen and cornered.
“I did not know,” you said, quieter now, “that you were watching us that closely.”
“I was watching you,” she corrected, and the precision of it made your stomach tighten. “Not because I was trying to spy. Because I was trying to decide whether I needed to step in.”
You let out a breath that was somewhere between disbelief and offense. “And your conclusion was Whistledown?”
“My conclusion was that if I told you directly, you would do exactly what you are doing now—you would argue, and insist, and tell me that I did not understand, that I was being dramatic, that you were old enough to manage your own heart without anyone else interfering. Which, for the record, is exactly the sort of thing you would say, and exactly the sort of thing that would make it very hard to reach you.”
That hit too close to home.
Because it was true. Not entirely, perhaps, but enough that the truth of it sat between you with an infuriating weight. You could already hear yourself saying it. Could already hear the defensive edge in your own voice if she had come to you plainly. You hated that she knew you that well. You hated even more that she was right.
The silence that followed was thinner than before. Incredibly strained. You could hear the faint sounds of breakfast through the door, the low rise of your mother’s voice, the scrape of a chair, Wonhee saying something probably far too interested for her own good. The ordinary world carried on around the two of you with maddening indifference, as if the revelation inside this room were only a private inconvenience and not a small collapse of trust.
Wonyoung’s face softened by degrees, though her spine remained straight, as if she would not allow herself the luxury of looking entirely apologetic until she knew you had heard her properly.
“I did not do it because I wanted to shame you,” she said. “I did it because I could see where this was going. I could see the way you looked at him, and the way he looked at you, and I knew exactly how fast a thing like that can become impossible to contain. It was already dangerous, and neither of you seemed inclined to admit it.”
You looked at her then, really looked, and for the first time the anger in you had to make room for something else. Not forgiveness. Not yet. But the smaller, more difficult thing that came before it: understanding, however unwilling. Because she did look afraid. It wasn’t theatrically so, not in the dramatic way that would have made this easier to dismiss. She looked afraid in the way only someone who truly loved you could look—controlled on the outside, absolutely not on the inside.
“You could have just come to me,” you said, though the words had lost much of their force now. “It felt like you were rooting for us initially.”
“I know,” she repeated, and this time the guilt in it was impossible to miss. “But I was afraid you would not hear me until it was too late.”
That made your chest ache in a way that was difficult to name.
For a moment neither of you moved. The room held its breath around you. Then you looked away first, because if you kept looking at her like that, with all her impossible steadiness and all that buried fear, you might actually cry, and you had no intention of giving either of you the satisfaction.
“When I am no longer furious,” you hiccuped, voice a little rougher than you wanted, “I imagine I will be able to admit that you meant well.”
Wonyoung’s expression shifted, the barest flicker of relief passing through it before she caught herself. “I will count that as progress.”
You huffed a breath that was almost a laugh despite yourself, and the fact that it came at all was enough to make the room feel less like a battlefield and more like the aftermath of one. Not resolved. Not forgiven. But not irreparably broken, either. Which, in your family, was often the closest thing to peace that anyone could hope for.
“We are still not done,” you told her.
“No,” Wonyoung said, with a tired little sigh that suggested she had expected nothing less. “We are not.”
And then, after a moment and softer: “But I am glad we spoke privately.”
The sincerity of that nearly undid you more than the argument itself. You glanced at her, and for one brief moment the two of you were only sisters again, standing in a quiet room with too much love and too much anger and too many things neither of you had handled well. It did not fix anything. It did not make the betrayal disappear. But it did make it possible to keep going.
𝑰𝑰𝑰.
The ballroom had begun to feel unbearable long before Seonghyeon understood why.
It was not the music, though the music had become a kind of merciless backdrop, all elegant repetition and polished cheer, as though the string quartet had been hired for the express purpose of making him suffer in tempo. It was not the company, either, though that would have been easier to blame, because the room was full of people he could usually endure with decent manners and the occasional lapse into cynicism.
No, what made the whole evening feel suddenly unfit for his temperament was the sight of you on the dance floor in pink, your gown catching the light with every turn so that you seemed less like a person than a thought he had been foolish enough to entertain too often and too openly in the privacy of his own mind.
He had spent too much of the evening pretending not to look at you. That was the first lie. The second was that he had managed it at all.
Keonho Ahn had his hand at your waist.
The touch was perfectly proper, the sort of thing no one in the room would have found worth remarking upon, and yet Seonghyeon felt it like an insult delivered directly to his ribs.
Keonho leaned toward you to say something low enough to keep between the two of you, and you tipped your head in response with that attentive, inward stillness that always made Seonghyeon feel as though he were watching you cross some private threshold he had not yet been invited through. Your expression was thoughtful. Soft, even. Interested. That was the worst of it. It was easy enough to survive a flirtation. It was harder to survive the sight of you listening as though you genuinely wanted to know what another man had to say.
He told himself, with the discipline of a man who had trained himself into restraint through long habit, that there was nothing inherently wrong with what he was seeing. You were allowed to dance. You were allowed to laugh. You were allowed to speak to a gentleman with more than one kind word and call it harmless. He had not earned the right to grow possessive over a room full of people and a future that had not yet been declared. He knew all that. He knew it with the sort of brutal clarity that made the jealousy no easier to bear.
What made it worse was that he trusted you.
That was the truth lodged deepest beneath the temper, the one he had no interest in saying aloud because once spoken it would become too difficult to pretend his calm was anything but damage control. He trusted you with himself in a way he almost never trusted anyone. He had given you his doubts, his silences, the private softness he usually concealed beneath courtesy and self-command, and some traitorous part of him had begun to believe that such trust meant something durable. To see you in another man’s arms, however proper the arrangement, was to discover how painfully visible that trust had become. It felt less like jealousy than exposure.
His gaze shifted to your family, and that was worse still.
Your mother stood with the expression of a woman who had already begun arranging possibilities in her head and found the arrangement pleasing. James looked on with calm approval that bordered, infuriatingly, on amusement. Wonyoung had the bright, dangerous look of someone enjoying herself far too much for the good of anyone involved. Seonghyeon caught enough of their conversation to wish, with real sincerity, that he could leave the room without being noticed.
“Before the season is out,” your mother was saying, “I should think Mr. Ahn will do the sensible thing.”
James’s mouth twitched. “He would be foolish not to.”
Wonhee gave a delighted little sound. “He looks as though he might even be nervous if he asked.”
Your mother smiled into her glass. “A man may be nervous and still be serious.”
Seonghyeon felt the words strike with a peculiar, slow violence.
Because the room had not simply gone on without him. It had already begun imagining him in a version of his own future that he had not yet permitted himself to inhabit. He could almost hear the shape of the discussion behind the smiles: respectable, practical, kind, likely to be approved of. The kind of match people praised because it made them feel safe. And there, between the lines of all that approval, was the thing that made his temper go hot and cold at once: they all seemed to think he was in danger of becoming someone who would ask.
He was not sure what troubled him more—that they expected it, or that he wanted it enough to be insulted by their certainty.
He looked back at you.
Keonho’s hand was still at your waist. You moved with him cleanly, gracefully, and though your expression was pleasant enough to satisfy any observer, Seonghyeon saw the faint inward focus in your eyes, the small, considering quiet that meant you were measuring your own feelings with a caution that was far too familiar. The sight of it made him feel oddly, absurdly angry—not at you, not really, but at the unfairness of a world that could make him stand still while another man had the privilege of making you think.
He set his glass down untouched and crossed the room before he could reconsider. There was no dignity in waiting any longer. If he stayed where he was, he would either become unbearable or invisible, and he had never been very good at choosing the lesser humiliations once jealousy had taken hold.
“May I steal you for a moment?” he asked when he reached you.
You looked up immediately, surprise flashing across your face before you composed it with admirable speed. Keonho’s hand fell away at once, and though he did it with perfect courtesy, Seonghyeon caught the brief tightening around his mouth. Good, he thought with a satisfaction so petty it almost offended him. Let him notice.
You gave Seonghyeon your hand. He offered his arm, and you took it.
The corridor beyond the ballroom was cooler, dimmer, and suddenly much more intimate for being only a few steps removed from the noise. Seonghyeon waited until the door had shut behind you both and the music was reduced to a muffled pulse before he turned fully toward you. The narrow space between the walls felt charged with everything he had not said for weeks, perhaps months, and he was aware, with a kind of grim amusement, that he had chosen the least graceful opening available to him.
“You are enjoying yourself,” he said, and the line came out flatter than he intended.
Your brows lifted at once, and for a moment the expression on your face was so composed it nearly made him regret speaking. Almost. “Is that an accusation?”
“It might become one, depending on your answer.”
The corners of your mouth moved, just enough to suggest you found him irritating in a way that was almost affectionate, which was far more dangerous than open annoyance would have been. The music carried you into another turn, the room revolving around you in a wash of candlelight and silk and measured conversation, but he scarcely felt any of it. All he was aware of was the easy certainty of your hand in his and the way you looked at him as though you were already deciding whether to tease him further or grant him mercy.
“You sound offended,” you observed.
“I sound concerned.”
“That is a very polished way of saying the same thing.”
“Not at all.” His thumb shifted once at your waist before he could stop himself. “Concern suggests restraint. I am not certain I possess enough of that this evening to qualify.”
That earned him the smallest flicker of amusement in your eyes, and he hated how much that tiny change steadied him. He had spent the entire evening feeling as though he were balancing on the edge of a sentence he had not yet decided to finish. You were too close, and yet not close enough to be honest. The space between you was measured in propriety and habit, in all the things neither of you had yet said aloud in rooms full of witnesses.
“You do look rather severe,” you returned.
“I have been told it becomes me.”
“By whom?”
He glanced at you. “You know very well by whom.”
That drew a soft laugh from you, brief and low enough to disappear beneath the orchestra if the room had not already been holding its breath around the two of you. The sound struck him harder than it should have. It always did, in those strange moments when you forgot, just for a second, to guard yourself from him. There was something in your ease that he trusted and resented at once, because it reminded him how much of himself he had quietly placed in your hands without ever asking whether you meant to keep it.
He watched your expression sharpen, as though you could feel the shape of that thought without hearing it. “You seem terribly preoccupied for a man who only meant to comment on my dancing.”
“Did I?”
“Did you not?”
He should have let that rest. He did not.
“It seems,” he said at last, keeping his tone level by force, “that we have caught Whistledown’s eye.”
You did not react dramatically. That was the trouble. If you had, he might have found the moment easier to manage. Instead your expression changed by the smallest degree, the warmth of it drawing inward until you looked more alert than amused. He kept his gaze deliberately fixed somewhere past your shoulder as he said it, because he did not trust himself to look at you and remain composed.
“Have we?” you asked quietly.
“So it would appear.”
The next turn brought you closer for a heartbeat, and he felt it in the sudden awareness of your sleeve against his coat, your breathing too near, your whole presence sharpening the air around him. It was absurd how much that one line seemed to have altered the room.
Not because the words themselves were so terrible, but because they carried all the things he had been trying not to name: that others had noticed, that the illusion of privacy had started to thin, that there were consequences gathering just outside the edge of the dance.
You were silent for a moment, and he could tell you were thinking. That, too, unsettled him. Your thoughts were never idle when they turned serious; they always moved somewhere he could not quite follow, circling the truth until it surrendered or disappeared.
At last you said, very softly, “I should have hoped we might be granted a little more time.”
The words hit him with such quiet force that for a moment he said nothing at all.
Time. That was the thing neither of them had enough of. Time to keep pretending. Time to make sense of the shape of this before other people began drawing conclusions for them. Time to decide whether what he felt was cowardice, devotion, or simply the ruinous combination of both. He had the useless, immediate sense that whatever this was between them could not survive forever in the soft, half-lit space they had been occupying. It wanted definition. It wanted action. It wanted some kind of answer.
He tightened his hand around yours only slightly, enough to register the pressure but not enough to be called a claim. “You make it sound as though I am the one pressing us toward scandal.”
Your mouth curved. “Are you not?”
He looked at you then, briefly, and had the uncomfortable thought that you were far too aware of him for his own peace of mind. There was warmth in your expression still, but there was something guarded beneath it too, something careful and assessing, as though you were watching him just as closely as he was watching you. That should have been reassuring. Instead it made him feel exposed. If you were looking at him with that much attention, then you could not possibly miss how badly he had begun to unravel.
And perhaps that was why the next words came out so quietly.
“It would be easier,” he said, his eyes deliberately averted again, “if you were not so difficult to interpret.”
That drew another slight smile from you, one with more edge than before. “And here I thought you admired restraint.”
“I do.”
“Then you ought to be pleased.”
“I would be,” he said, and the truth in it was too much to soften properly, “if I believed that was all it was.”
For a single suspended moment the dance carried on around them, and yet it felt as though the ballroom had gone still. The air between your bodies changed. He could feel it, distinct and immediate, like the moment before lightning strikes. He had not meant to say that much, not here, not with half the room watching and the rest of it pretending not to. But the words were out now, and the weight of them sat between you in a way that neither polish nor laughter could entirely disguise.
The terrace was quieter than the ballroom by only a matter of degrees, but it felt like another world entirely.
The music still drifted out through the glass doors behind them, softened now into something distant and watery, the sort of sound that made the night seem deeper than it was.
Below the railing the garden lay spread in moon-shadow, the hedges dark and deliberate, the paths pale where they caught the light, and beyond that the rest of the house stood full of life and motion and conversation that no longer seemed to belong to either of them. You had only meant to step outside for a breath of air. You had not meant to find him already there waiting, or perhaps not waiting exactly but turning toward you with that expression he always wore when he had decided he was not going to let the matter rest.
He shut the terrace door behind him with careful quiet, as though even the latch might listen.
You folded your arms at once, more from instinct than defiance. “You look terribly pleased with yourself for a man who has spent the last quarter hour glaring.”
His mouth gave the smallest twitch. “Have I?”
“You have.”
“And yet you came out here.”
“Because the air is better than the ballroom.”
“That cannot be the only reason.”
“It is the only reason I’m willing to admit to at the moment.”
That earned a brief, sharp look from him, the sort that might have been amusement if it had not been edged with something far less harmless. He took a few steps toward you, unhurried and exacting, until your back met the cool line of the railing and there was nowhere convenient to go without making it obvious that you wished to leave him. The realization annoyed you almost immediately, because it meant he had anticipated your response and arranged himself accordingly. He seemed to know, always, precisely how much space to take and how quickly to take it.
“You’re in a mood,” you said.
“So are you.”
“That is not an answer.”
“No,” he returned, his gaze steady on yours, “it is a warning.”
The words should have sounded theatrical. They did not. They sounded like him trying very hard not to say something worse, and that alone was enough to make your pulse misbehave. Before you could decide whether to be offended by that, he reached out and, with a touch so lightly delivered it was almost worse than force, tucked a loose strand of hair back behind your ear. His fingers skimmed the shell of it on the way down, lingering just long enough to make your thoughts go strangely thin.
You hated that your body noticed before your pride did.
“I have no idea what this is about,” you said, and immediately knew by the look in his eyes that he believed you knew perfectly well.
“Do you not?”
You lifted your chin. “If you are trying to accuse me of something, I should prefer you be direct.”
He gave a short exhale that was almost a laugh and almost not. “Very well. Direct, then.”
His hand slid from your hair to your jaw, thumb resting at the edge of it with a pressure so gentle it made the whole thing feel more intimate than a firmer touch would have. The sensation of him like that—close, deliberate, looking at you as though he had been deprived of some essential answer for far too long—tightened something in your chest you had not quite named yet. You had the sudden, absurd awareness that if he stepped one inch closer, you would be able to feel the shape of his breathing.
“Who is it going to be, Miss Edwards?”
The question knocked the air clean out of you for a beat. “What?”
His gaze did not move. “I thought it might be the childhood beloved you’ve been sneaking out to see. I was even prepared to be gracious about your poor judgment.”
You stared at him, half incredulous and half irritated, because there was no good way to respond to that without either admitting too much or sounding foolish. “You are speaking as though I’ve committed some grave social crime.”
“Have you not?”
“That is not fair.”
“No,” he said, and now there was something drier in his tone, something that only made the heat under it more obvious, “it is very fair. I spent two days trying to honor our agreement while you apparently used the same two days to let Mr. Ahn look at you as though he’d already won.”
You went still.
The mention of Keonho—so calm, so pointed, so unfairly accurate—put a sharp edge under everything else in the conversation. “You do not know what you are talking about.”
His brows lifted. “I know precisely what I saw.”
“You saw him being polite.”
“I saw him touch your waist.”
“That is called dancing.”
His mouth tightened, and there it was again, the strain you had been hearing all evening, the current of temper he kept trying and failing to keep beneath the surface. He stepped closer. The terrace was narrow enough that the movement mattered.
The railing at your back mattered. The space between his body and yours mattered far too much. His hand left your jaw only to settle at the side of your neck for a brief second, thumb brushing just under your ear before drifting away as though he had to keep himself from holding on.
“You are very careful when you want to be,” he said quietly. “You know exactly what you’re doing when you look at a man the way you looked at Ahn tonight.”
That should have made you angry on its own. Instead it made you feel suddenly, sharply exposed. “You think I was—what? Encouraging him?”
“I think,” he said, and the words came out low enough that you had to lean into them just to hear, “that I bare my soul to you and you still have the power to make me feel as though I’m standing outside your life looking in.”
That was the first truly dangerous thing he had said, and you heard it as such. Not because it was elegant, but because it sounded wounded enough to be real. Before you could answer, before you could decide whether to snap at him or ask him what exactly he thought you were doing, he looked at you once more with that maddeningly controlled expression and then kissed you.
It was immediate and unceremonious and far more intense than anything you had expected from the night. One hand slid to your waist to steady you; the other braced on the railing beside your hip as if he did not trust either of you not to fall apart if he let go. The kiss had heat in it, yes, but what hit hardest was the force of all the feeling behind it—the frustration, the jealousy, the helplessness, the too-long restraint. For a single breath you gave in to it. It was impossible not to. You had been standing too close to him for too long, with his voice under your skin and his hand at your face and the whole of your own temper already leaning toward him. The kiss took all of that and made it immediate.
And then, almost at once, anger flared through the haze.
You broke it off with a sharp movement, breath uneven, eyes bright with outrage. “What do you think you’re doing?”
He looked genuinely thrown by the question, the kind of thrown that did not come from guilt so much as from not having anticipated that the kiss would be the thing you objected to. “You were angry.”
“Yes,” you spat, which clearly did not help him understand anything at all. “And your solution was to kiss me?”
His expression changed. “My solution?”
“I’m asking.”
“I wasn’t trying to fix anything.”
That stopped you for a fraction of a second. The honesty in his face was too immediate to dismiss.
Seonghyeon drew a breath, visibly gathered himself, then looked at you with a kind of frustration that had nowhere to go and so turned inward instead. “I didn’t kiss you because I thought it would settle the matter. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because you look too beautiful not to.”
You paused. And yet he kept going, running a hand through his somewhat floppy hair.
“Because I have spent the last two days feeling you drift away from me one careful step at a time and I did not know what else to do with that.”
The words landed hard, and if you had not already been leaning against the railing, they might have taken your balance with them.
He kept going, because now that he had started, the rest seemed to come more easily, though not gently.
“I wanted to have you in my arms,” he said, voice roughened by the effort of staying controlled, “without wondering whether the whole thing had already begun to slip out of my hands. I wanted one minute where you weren’t looking at me as if you were trying to decide whether I was still the answer.”
You stared at him, anger and a softer feeling colliding unpleasantly in your chest. “That is a terrible reason to kiss someone.”
“I know.”
“And yet you did it anyway.”
“Yes.”
The answer was immediate enough to be infuriating.
For a second neither of you moved. The moonlight caught the line of his cheek and the edge of his mouth, and he looked just as irritated with himself as he did with you, which made the whole thing feel slightly less like an attack and slightly more like a disaster they were both standing in the middle of. You could still feel the ghost of the kiss where he had left it, could still feel the warmth of his hand at your waist, and that made your temper worse because it meant your body was reacting to him even while your pride was bristling.
He saw the shift in you and softened only by a degree, not enough to be called surrender, just enough to be called honest.
“I thought,” he said more quietly, “that after I spent weeks giving you the one thing I never give anyone—my father, myself, all of it—you might not spend our two days making me wonder whether I had just become the man you were settling for.”
That cut deeper than the kiss had.
Because it was not really about Keonho, not entirely. It was about what he had given you and what he feared you had not given back, and about the vulnerable, unguarded version of himself he had already allowed into the light. His eyes did not leave yours as he said it, and you could hear, beneath the temper, the smaller and more dangerous thing: fear.
You swallowed.
He was standing too close again. He did not seem capable of anything else.
“And before you ask,” he added, with a bitter little flash of self-awareness, “I know how this sounds. I know I am being unbearable.”
“Only slightly.”
The corner of his mouth twitched, but the expression did not quite become a smile. “I bare my soul to you,” he sighed, and now the line carried the full weight of it, all the frustration and disbelief and hurt, “and you act as though I’m the one being unreasonable for not wanting to watch you be charmed into someone else’s future.”
That, more than anything, was the thing that made your anger waver. Not because it excused him. It didn’t. But because it was so plainly what he believed, and because in the same breath you could feel how much he had already put on the line. He was not speaking like a man trying to win an argument. He was speaking like someone who had already been losing for days and only now had begun to say so aloud.
You looked away first, because staying with his eyes felt too much like giving him the right to all of this.
The silence that followed was thick and dangerous, and in it the ballroom music drifted up through the glass behind you both, distant and indifferent. Somewhere inside, someone laughed. Somewhere else, a chair scraped against the floor. The ordinary world continued exactly as it should have, which only made the two of you feel more cut off from it.
Then Seonghyeon’s gaze shifted, just once, past your shoulder toward the ballroom doors.
And though neither of you said it, the thought arrived between you with awful clarity: Keonho had seen enough to know that something had happened out here. Enough to understand that the night had changed shape. Enough to know that whatever was between you and Seonghyeon was no longer a private inconvenience that could be folded neatly back into place.
You found him in the drawing room with the pale afternoon light slanting across the carpet and the air still enough to make everything feel slightly more formal than it needed to. Keonho had clearly been waiting a while, though he gave no sign of impatience when he rose at your entrance. He only inclined his head with that steady, gracious ease of his, the sort that made you feel both welcomed and faintly guilty for arriving with your thoughts already tangled.
“Miss Edwards,” he greeted you, his voice gentle.
You hated, all at once, how composed he looked. Not because it was cold—if anything, it was the opposite. His calm made him seem even more generous, more difficult to hurt, more exactly the sort of man any sensible family would hope for. He was beautiful in a way that felt unfair, not flashy or vain, but quietly devastating, with the kind of face that would have looked at home in a portrait and the kind of manners that made people trust him before they had any right to. It hurt, suddenly and sharply, to admit to yourself that under different circumstances you might have wanted to be the girl he chose with that same steady regard.
He must have seen something of it in your face, because his expression softened at once.
“I had suspected as much.”
“You need not begin with an apology before you have even sat down,” he noted, a faint hint of amusement in his voice.
Your mouth moved toward a smile, though it didn’t quite make it. “I am afraid I have arrived with several.”
“I had suspected as much,” he replied, and that small kindness in his tone made the ache in your chest worse rather than better.
You crossed the room and took the seat opposite him, your hands folded more tightly than you would have liked. The silence that followed was not uncomfortable, exactly. It was too thoughtful for that. Keonho waited with the patience of someone who understood that some truths had to be coaxed rather than seized.
At length, you drew a breath and looked at him properly. “I am sorry,” you told him. “For what this has become.”
He held your gaze without blinking, and the sadness in his eyes was so quiet that it nearly undid you.
“That would imply,” he answered, “that you had control over what your heart chose to do.”
You looked away first, because the line was too kind to argue with and too painful to accept cleanly. He let the silence stretch, and for that you were grateful, because it gave you a moment to gather yourself around the truth you had come here to give him.
“I did not come to make excuses,” you said at last. “I came because I wanted to tell you myself before anyone else turned it into something less honest.”
He nodded once, carefully. “I thought as much.”
The steadiness of him made this harder. If he had been resentful, you could have defended yourself. If he had been sharp, you might have braced for it. But Keonho only listened, and that made the whole thing feel unbearably real.
“I am sorry,” you repeated, a little more quietly this time, “that I am not the girl you should have had.”
Something changed in his expression then—not hurt, exactly, but a more particular kind of understanding. “That assumes,” he answered, “there is a version of this in which you simply decide to feel differently.”
You gave a small, helpless breath that might have been a laugh if it had not hurt so much to make. “I do seem to have made a habit of poor timing.”
“Perhaps,” he returned, and there was the faintest curve to his mouth, “but poor timing is not the same as poor character.”
That nearly cracked the composure you had been holding onto by force. You blinked hard and looked down at your hands, because if you kept meeting his eyes, you might start crying, which would have been intolerably unfair to both of you.
You hesitated, because the truth was harder than the apology. “I am truly sorry,” you admitted, “for all of it.”
Keonho’s mouth moved, not into a smile exactly, but into something softer. “You are not responsible for having a heart.”
The line nearly undid you.
You looked down at your hands, blinking once. “That does not make it kinder.”
“No,” he agreed. “Only truer.”
The honesty of him made your throat tighten. He did not interrupt, did not rush in to rescue you from your own discomfort. He simply waited, as though he trusted you to say what needed saying in your own time.
When you looked up again, you forced yourself to meet his eyes.
“It is Seonghyeon,” you said quietly.
At once, something changed in his expression—not surprise, exactly, but recognition. As though he had already guessed and was now simply confirming what had been taking shape between you for some time.
“Yes,” he said after a second. “I thought it might be.”
You swallowed. “I know he is not…” You stopped, because saying it aloud made it feel more cruel than it was. “I know there are things about him that are uncertain.”
Keonho did not flinch from that. If anything, he became more still.
“There are,” he answered carefully. “I would be dishonest if I pretended otherwise.”
That steadiness startled you. It would have been easier, in some ways, if he had argued. Instead, he met the truth squarely, and then gave you the dignity of deciding what to do with it.
You took a breath. “I do not need you to approve of him.”
“No,” he replied, almost at once. “You do not.”
The softness of that answer made your eyes sting. He knew exactly where the line was, and he never once stepped over it.
“I worry,” he said then, more slowly, “that he is not always the sort of man who can be counted on to give what he owes, let alone what is freely given.”
Your gaze lifted to his. “That is very much what I mean.”
Keonho nodded once, as if some part of him had already accepted that this was the shape of things. “Then you have your answer.”
You frowned faintly. “That is not an answer.”
“It is,” he said, “if you are asking whether I believe your concern is justified.”
There it was: not permission, not condemnation, only a clear-eyed acknowledgment of the truth as he saw it. That, somehow, was more moving than any attempt to persuade you would have been.
“I do not know,” you admitted at last. “I only know that when I look at him, I cannot tell whether he will be enough for me, and I hate that I cannot tell.”
Keonho watched you for a long moment before answering. “It is not a failure on your part to know what you need.”
The words landed softly, but they went deep. You let out a slow breath, and your eyes burned. “You make it sound very simple.”
“Because it is simple,” he replied. “The difficult part is that what is simple is not always easy.”
That nearly broke you.
He leaned back slightly, still composed, but now with the faintest shadow of something more personal moving beneath the surface of his restraint.
“I have my reservations about Seonghyeon,” he admitted. “That would be disingenuous to deny. But I also know this: I am not the one who must live with your choice. You are.”
You said nothing, because the truth of it left you too full to answer quickly.
Keonho’s voice remained calm, though there was warmth in it now, too. “If he is the man you believe can give you what you need, then I will not insult you by pretending your judgment is lesser than mine.”
That made your chest ache all over again. Not because he was surrendering, but because he was doing it without making you feel small.
“I am not asking you to make it easier,” you murmured.
“I know,” he replied. “You are asking me to understand.”
You nodded once, and he gave you that without hesitation.
There was a pause after that, longer than the others, and in it you became acutely aware of everything left unsaid: what might have been, what could not be, what his kindness was allowing him to lose without complaint. It made you want to apologize again, and also to thank him, and also to run from the room before your face betrayed too much of how deeply it hurt.
Instead, because you had not come here only to break his heart, you drew yourself together and attempted a thin smile.
“I suppose,” you said, “that means I shall have to become insufferably protective of my own happiness.”
That startled the faintest smile out of him.
“Please do,” he returned. “Someone ought to be.”
The answer made your chest tighten in a different way. There was no resentment in it, no plea, only a quiet generosity that somehow made him seem even dearer than before.
Keonho sat, as composed as ever, and for a moment the two of you simply looked at one another with the strange intimacy of people who had just named something painful and irreversible.
At last he said, very softly, “I do wish you happiness.”
The sincerity of it nearly undid you. “I know.”
And because he was Keonho, because he was good in exactly the ways that mattered most, he did not ask you to carry his disappointment for him. He only gave you the dignity of leaving with your own.
Then, because the sorrow was becoming too heavy to bear in one shape, you forced yourself toward something lighter.
“Well,” you began, lifting your head again, “if I cannot be the girl for you, I can at least be your matchmaker.”
That made him blink, and a little uncertainty finally surfaced in his face.
“I happen to know,” you continued, your tone turning deliberately brisk, “a certain lady whose family name has something to do with a fruit.”
The corners of his mouth twitched despite him. “Has it now?”
“It has. Her dowry is rumored to be very good, her mother would adore you, and I am fairly certain she has been looking your way with a great deal more interest than she intends to admit.”
This time his expression changed in a way that was almost fond, though still laced with surprise. “You are attempting to redirect my grief with matchmaking.”
“I am attempting,” you corrected, “to ensure you do not leave this room believing there is nothing ahead of you but my terrible judgment.”
That earned you the smallest, realest laugh he had given all afternoon. It was soft and brief, but it loosened something in the air between you, gave the room back a little warmth.
“You are very determined,” he remarked.
“I am trying to be useful.”
“You have always been more useful than you give yourself credit for.”
That quiet reply sat in your chest in a way you would remember later, because it was exactly the sort of thing that made him feel impossible to replace. Not only handsome, not only kind, but observant enough to know where a sentence would land and generous enough to place it there anyway.
You smiled at him, this time more honestly. “When you are very rich and scandalously happy with a woman whose house name belongs to a fruit,” you told him, “I expect to be invited to the best dinners in London.”
Keonho laughed again, warmer this time, and this one looked as though it had been pulled from somewhere deeper.
“I should hate,” he replied, “to disappoint a woman with such precise standards.”
“You would be disappointing the whole of society if you did.”
“I shall do my best to remain worthy of the threat.”
That made you smile properly, and for a moment the room felt almost normal again. Not untouched, not healed, but gentler than it had been when you entered. When he stood, he did so slowly, giving the conversation its due dignity rather than making it feel like an ending too abrupt to bear.
He took your hand briefly in both of his, warm and careful, and your throat tightened at once.
“I do not think,” he observed softly, “that this conversation will ever be easy to remember.”
“No,” you admitted. “But I think it will matter.”
“I think,” he returned, “that is the kindest thing anyone could ask of it.”
The words stayed with you as he let go and stepped back, giving you room to leave without turning it into a spectacle. That, more than anything, made the whole thing ache. Not because it was cold, but because it was gracious enough to hurt.
And when you left him, you did so with the uncomfortable certainty that you had not merely said goodbye to a suitor. You had said goodbye to a future that might have been happy, if your heart had not already chosen somewhere else. When he let you go, it was with the same careful grace he had shown you from the beginning. You could feel the shape of his respect behind you like a hand held open in farewell—proof that love, even unreturned, could still be generous.
𝑰𝑽.
The promenade the following morning ought to have been pleasant. In theory, it was. The sky was clear and almost offensively blue, the gravel paths neat and pale beneath the trees, the roses still clinging to their last extravagant burst of color before the season gave way entirely to autumn. Everything looked composed, elegant, and exactly the sort of setting in which one might expect to have a calm, respectable, socially productive morning.
You, unfortunately, were having none of it.
You stood beside Eunji with your hands folded just so, your posture careful, your expression arranged into what you hoped was indifference and what was almost certainly not. Because the moment you had arrived, the morning had become dangerous. Not dangerous in the way of scandal or catastrophe, but dangerous in the much worse way of making you aware of your own heart. You had the deep, sinking feeling that this had happened before—that familiar hot twist of seeing Seonghyeon speak to another woman and feeling something in you go sharp and unreasonable.
And yes, it had probably happened before.
That realization came with humiliating clarity, because your body remembered before your mind wanted to. The breathlessness. The irritation. The immediate and deeply foolish desire to stand between him and whoever had dared occupy his attention. You had seen that look on your own face once before, and you had hated it then too.
“Your expression is giving you away,” Eunji murmured without looking at you.
“I have no idea what you mean.”
“You look as though you are considering murder.”
“I assure you, I am not.”
Eunji’s mouth twitched. “That is reassuring.”
You were still trying to recover enough dignity to answer when Lady Eom’s voice cut cleanly across the path.
“Seonghyeon, darling,” she called, bright and practical and much too pleased with herself, “do come and greet Miss Whitfield properly. You remember her mother, of course, and her father was at Eton with your own, God rest him.”
Your stomach did the horrible little drop it always did whenever anything involved Seonghyeon and another young woman and your own inability to remain rational about either.
You looked up.
He was standing near the hedge in a dark green coat that was, frankly, unfair. Not just handsome—worse than that. He looked devastating in it. The shade brought out the warmth in his complexion and made his eyes seem darker, steadier, more alive. His hair had been dressed differently than usual, parted with a little more care, except for one strand that had fallen forward over his forehead in a way that seemed entirely intentional even if it probably was not. It made him look almost deliciously untidy, like he had wandered out of a portrait and into your ruin.
Any other man would have looked merely well dressed. Seonghyeon looked as though he had no business being allowed outdoors.
You were already irritated at him for that before he had even moved.
Then he turned.
Miss Whitfield stood just beside Lady Eom, fair-haired and very pretty in a pale muslin that looked like it had been chosen to win a mother’s approval at a glance. She was smiling at him. Of course she was. It was the sort of smile that said she had been taught to be agreeable in exactly the right way, soft and smooth and entirely appropriate for a morning promenade.
Seonghyeon bowed with perfect ease, and that alone should have been enough to annoy you, because he was so good at looking effortless that it seemed almost rude. He said something polite to Miss Whitfield, something you could not quite hear, and she laughed.
That, too, annoyed you.
You had the absurd impulse to step forward and say something sharp simply because she had smiled at him as if it were her right. Then—because you were apparently being punished by the universe—Seonghyeon glanced up.
Straight at you.
The look lasted no more than a second. Perhaps less. But in that one second, his expression changed.
Oh.
He saw it.
He saw your face, saw the tightness in your mouth, saw the way you were no doubt standing there like a woman trying very hard not to explode, and something in his own expression sharpened into sudden, bright delight.
No. Absolutely not.
You could almost see the thought take hold of him. The realization. The slow, dawning understanding that you were jealous.
And he looked so pleased with himself that it made your cheeks burn.
“You look absurdly satisfied,” Eunji murmured.
“I do not.”
“You do.”
You were busy glaring at your own disgrace when Seonghyeon finally detached himself from the small group and came toward you, all easy grace and quiet confidence, as though he were not carrying the entire weight of your embarrassment directly in the curve of his mouth.
He stopped just close enough to be irritating.
“Good morning,” he said.
You narrowed your eyes. “You are enjoying this.”
“I haven’t said anything yet.”
“That smile is saying enough.”
His mouth curved more. “Is it?”
“Yes, it is. Very loudly.”
His gaze flicked over you with infuriating attention, as though he were collecting evidence. “You seem unsettled.”
“I wonder why.”
“Because I spoke to Miss Whitfield for approximately half a minute?”
“It felt longer.”
He gave a quiet, pleased little huff of a laugh. “Did it?”
You wanted to dislike that sound. You really did. It was warm and amused and far too intimate, as if the two of you shared some private joke at your expense. Unfortunately, it also did something inconvenient to your insides.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked.
“Like what?”
“Like you have won something.”
His eyes gleamed. “Have I not?”
That made you go still.
He noticed immediately, of course he did. Seonghyeon noticed everything. And because he was apparently determined to be insufferable, his smile turned positively radiant.
“Oh,” he said softly, “this is familiar.”
Your eyes widened. “It is not.”
“It is,” he replied, clearly delighted. “This feels like it has happened before.”
You made a noise of protest that was too weak to be convincing.
He tilted his head. “You remember it too, don’t you?”
You did. And that was the infuriating aspect of it.
You remembered being irritated, jealous, vaguely offended on some deeply unreasonable level by the mere idea of him talking to someone else. You remembered trying to pretend you were not affected. You remembered failing. You remembered him noticing.
You remembered, with painful clarity, how little it had helped to deny it.
“I do not know what you mean,” you said, because apparently you were a liar now.
Seonghyeon smiled like a man handed a gift he had not expected to receive today. “You absolutely do.”
You folded your arms. “You were speaking to Miss Whitfield.”
“I was.”
“Very pleasantly.”
“That is generally frowned upon in polite company?”
“You know what I mean.”
His brows lifted. “Do I?”
He was having entirely too much fun.
You hated that you found it endearing.
You hated even more that he looked so good doing it. The dark green of his coat, the easy looseness of that strand of hair over his forehead, the way his smile made the whole lower half of his face soften—any other man would have looked merely handsome. Seonghyeon looked like the kind of handsome that made one irrationally angry at the world for allowing him to exist in public without warning.
“Seonghyeon,” you said, trying for stern and landing somewhere near flustered.
That only made his expression brighter. “There it is.”
“There what is?”
“That look.”
“What look?”
“The one where you are trying very hard not to admit that you care.”
You stared at him. He stared back, far too pleased with himself.
You could feel your own jealousy still burning at the edges of your composure, and the worst part was that he knew it. He knew exactly what was happening inside your head and was enjoying every second of it.
“Must you always be this smug?” you asked.
“Only when circumstances justify it.”
“And what circumstances would those be?”
He glanced briefly toward Miss Whitfield, who had drifted a little farther down the path with Lady Eom. Then back to you. “I spend half an hour with a member of the opposite sex and you turn red like a tomato.”
“I did not.”
“You did.”
“I did not.”
“You absolutely did.”
“And you expect me to be calm about that?”
“I expect you,” he said, leaning just slightly closer, “to be a little less obvious.”
That was unfair. Completely unfair. Especially considering the way he was looking at you now, all amusement and tenderness and the faint, infuriating glow of having been chosen.
“So,” he continued, voice low with playful satisfaction, “you picked the childhood beloved, huh?”
You blinked.
“That is not how I would phrase it.”
“Would you not?”
“No.”
“What happened to the underdog?”
You made a helpless sound. “Seonghyeon.”
He laughed at that, clearly delighted by your inability to answer him cleanly. “What?”
“I spoke with him.”
That made him pause, only for a moment. But enough to give you the sense that he had not expected the answer to be so simple.
“And?” he prompted.
“And…” You hesitated, suddenly aware of how strange it felt to say it aloud. “And it was clear.”
His expression shifted, curiosity softening the humor. “So it is all alright now?”
You looked at him and felt your face heat all over again, though this time it was not only from embarrassment. “Not all alright. But enough.”
His smile returned, slower this time. “Enough for what?”
You gave him a look. “Do not start.”
“Too late.”
“No more teasing.”
He placed a hand lightly over his chest, utterly unconvinced. “I can try, but I make no promises.”
You were trying very hard to remain dignified and were failing in a thoroughly undignified way.
“And you are only betrothed to me now, huh?” he said, his eyes brightening again. “I get Miss Edwards all to myself?”
That, unfortunately, made you laugh despite yourself, and his face changed immediately at the sound.
There was something almost stunned in it. Something pleased and warm and a little awed, as if he still could not quite believe he was allowed this version of you—the jealous one, the laughing one, the one who was finally, unmistakably his in a way that had been impossible to miss.
You looked away first, because if you kept looking at him while he smiled like that, you were going to become impossible.
“Do not sound so triumphant,” you muttered.
“I am triumphant.”
“You are unbearable.”
“I know.”
“You look far too pleased with yourself.”
“Because I am.”
You frowned at him. “You are enjoying this far more than is decent.”
He leaned in a little, lowering his voice. “It is not every day I discover you can become possessive over a conversation that lasted less than two minutes.”
“It was longer than that.”
“Was it?”
“Yes.”
“You counted?”
You stared.
His smile widened at once. “You did count.”
“I did not.”
You could feel the heat in your face again and wanted, very badly, to vanish into the nearest hedge.
Instead, you said, “You are insufferable.”
“And yet you are still standing here.”
That, unfortunately, was true.
He studied your face for a moment, the teasing easing into something softer. “You really were jealous.”
You gave him a look that was intended to be severe and probably came out as mortified. “I was not pleased.”
“That is not what I said.”
“No, but it is close enough.”
He laughed, quiet and bright, and then—because he was impossible—he added, “You have no idea how long I have wanted this.”
Your breath caught.
The warmth in his face shifted, the grin softening around the edges into something gentler, more personal. “You looking at me like that,” he clarified. “As though I matter enough to make you mad.”
You went still.
That was unfair. Utterly unfair. Because it was true enough to hurt.
You looked at him, really looked, and the world became briefly, absurdly narrow: the dark green coat, the strand of hair on his forehead, the shape of his smile, the ridiculous beauty of his face in the morning light. It was enough to make you furious all over again that he had been born with such unfair advantages. Any other man would have needed effort to look this devastating. Seonghyeon just existed like this, all easy elegance and soft amusement and devastating handsomeness.
It was rude, really.
He seemed to read your thoughts, because the smile on his mouth curved a little more.
“You are staring,” he observed.
“I am not.”
“You are.”
“You are being impossible.”
“That is only because you have not yet admitted defeat.”
You scoffed, though the sound had very little conviction. “Defeat?”
“Yes.”
“You think this is a competition?”
He looked at you with open delight. “With you? Always.”
You shook your head, trying and failing to keep from smiling. “You are ridiculous.”
“And you,” he said, “are the one who decided no more two days.”
The words landed with such neat precision that your pulse jumped.
You straightened a fraction. “I have.”
He looked at you for a long, bright second, and the delight in his expression deepened into something almost dangerously tender.
“So what happened to the two days?” he asked, his tone pure mischief.
“I am rescinding them.”
“On what grounds?”
“On the grounds that I no longer wish to wait.”
His brows rose. “That is a very serious reversal.”
“I am aware.”
You looked up at him then, at the familiar, beloved architecture of his face in the morning light, the sharp jaw and the dark, steady eyes and the small scar beneath his lower lip you had long ago memorized without ever asking permission to do so, and felt the last of your careful patience finally give way entirely, unraveling all at once like a knot pulled loose.
He took in your face again, and the smile that followed was so open, so unmistakably happy, that it nearly undid you. “Well,” he said, voice warmer now, “I suppose that means you are finally admitting what I have known for ages.”
You narrowed your eyes. “And what is that?”
“That you are absolutely incapable of being indifferent where I am concerned.”
You opened your mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.
He was watching you with a look of pure, shameless joy.
“It is not fair,” you muttered.
“What isn’t?”
“This.”
“This?”
“You smiling like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you have won something.”
His eyes gleamed. “I have.”
You made a face. “You are impossible.”
“And you,” he said, stepping just a little closer, “are blushing again.”
“I am not.”
“You are.”
“This is your fault.”
He smiled in a way that suggested he found that deeply satisfying. “Everything good about this morning is my fault.”
You gave him an exasperated look, but it was weakening by the second. He was too handsome, too pleased, too warm, and too obviously thrilled by your jealousy for you to remain properly cross with him.
He lowered his voice. “Tell me one thing.”
“What?”
“Was it the dark green coat?”
You blinked. “What?”
“Was that what did it?” he asked, visibly amused. “The coat? Or the hair?”
You stared.
He lifted a hand to the strand falling over his forehead, touching it with mock seriousness. “This, perhaps?”
You had the distinct and terrible impression that he was having the time of his life.
“You are mocking me.”
“I am not.”
“You absolutely are.”
“I am only asking because I would hate to misjudge my own effect.”
That was so outrageous you nearly laughed again, and he saw it coming, because of course he did.
“There,” he said softly, pleased all over again. “That is much better.”
You looked at him, still half offended, half undone, and felt the last of your resistance slipping away in the face of his ridiculous happiness.
“Seonghyeon,” you called, and this time his name came out with more softness than warning.
His expression changed at once. You saw it in the small quieting of his smile, the way his eyes sharpened with attention.
“Yes?” he asked.
You hesitated, then said it before you could lose your nerve.
"I am done waiting," you told him, the words arriving with more certainty than you had felt about anything in weeks, perhaps in years. "I do not need two days. I do not need to stand at the edge of a garden watching you be charming to some perfectly nice young woman while I pretend my own heart is not trying to climb directly out of my chest at the sight of her hand on your sleeve. We are telling them today. Now, before I lose what little remains of my nerve."
Surprise shifted across his face, first, swiftly followed by a slow, blooming warmth that transformed his whole expression into something so open and unguarded that it very nearly undid you entirely, standing there in the narrow hedged path with the sound of the wider promenade still drifting faintly toward you.
"Today," he repeated, as though testing the shape and weight of the word for the first time.
"Today," you confirmed.
For one suspended moment, he simply stared at you. Then his face broke into something bright and disbelieving and very nearly tender enough to ruin you where you stood.
He looked as though he might laugh again, or kiss you, or do both in front of everyone if given half the chance. Instead he drew a slow breath, still smiling, and said, “Good.”
That was all. Just good.
But it carried such obvious joy that you had to look away before your face betrayed how much it meant. Then, because he could never resist one more tease, he added, “And here I thought I would have to keep pretending to share you with the rest of society.”
You made a small sound of protest. “You never had to share me.”
That stopped him. You saw it happen—just a flicker, the tiniest pause before delight flooded his expression again. Must you have chosen a boy with such a huge ego?
“Well,” he said, low and pleased, “that is the nicest thing you have said to me all morning.”
You glanced at him, heat rising again despite yourself. “You were unbearable all morning.”
“And yet?”
“And yet…” You exhaled, because there was no point pretending. “And yet I came to see you.”
His face softened in a way that made your stomach tighten.
“That,” he said quietly, “is much better than a crown.”
For a moment, neither of you spoke.
He reached for your hand then, drawing it up slowly and pressing a long, deliberate kiss to your knuckles, his eyes never once leaving yours over the curve of your gloved fingers. "Then let us go be entirely foolish together," he said, low, "and tell our families the truth of it at last."
The promenade moved around you again, all the usual soft steps and murmured conversation and rustling skirts, but it felt farther away now. Less important. You had said the thing that mattered. He had seen the jealousy, enjoyed it, teased it apart, and still looked at you as though you were the only person in the garden.
Which, if you were being honest, was very nearly as dangerous as the jealousy itself.
𝑽.
You told the Eom family after tea, when the light had softened and the terrace had fallen into that oddly peaceful sort of hush that always made important conversations feel a little more theatrical than they ought to be. Lady Eom was seated with serene composure, one hand lightly around her cup, looking as though she had already guessed at least half of what was coming and was simply waiting to see whether anyone else would bother saying it aloud. Eunji sat beside her, alert in the way of someone who had long since given up pretending not to be interested.
Seonghyeon, naturally, looked far too calm.
It was irritating. He ought to have looked at least a little unnerved, if only out of solidarity. Instead he sat there with that maddening ease of his, one leg crossed over the other, his posture composed, his expression nearly unreadable except for the faintest hint of anticipation at the corners of his mouth. He looked, you thought with a fresh burst of grievance, like a man who had been waiting for this conversation and had no intention of pretending otherwise.
Lady Eom was the first to speak.
“Well?” she asked mildly, setting down her cup. “Are you going to tell us, or shall we continue making a performance of guessing?”
Eunji made a tiny noise that was very clearly laughter suppressed into politeness.
Seonghyeon glanced toward his mother. “You have already guessed.”
Lady Eom lifted one brow. “I have suspected.”
“That is a very diplomatic way of saying yes,” Eunji observed.
Lady Eom ignored her. Her gaze moved between the two of you with unmistakable satisfaction. “At last,” she said. “I was beginning to think the pair of you intended to postpone this out of pure stubbornness.”
You felt your face warm at once, and Seonghyeon, entirely traitorous, looked vaguely amused by your discomfort.
“I was not stubborn,” he said.
Eunji turned toward him. “You were absolutely stubborn.”
“I was discreet.”
“You were miserable,” she corrected.
That seemed to amuse Lady Eom more than it should have. “He was indeed miserable,” she said with great calm. “I have seen him talk to at least six young ladies whom I introduced with excellent intentions, and he looked at every one of them as though he were waiting for a bus that never came.”
You made a small sound of surprise before you could stop yourself.
Lady Eom turned to you at once, not unkindly, but with that same bright, knowing look. “Do not look so shocked, my dear. I have been waiting for this for some time.”
Seonghyeon gave a quiet exhale through his nose. “Mother.”
“What?” she said, entirely innocent. “I have.”
Eunji leaned forward, delighted now. “How long?”
Lady Eom considered this with deliberate seriousness. “Long enough to know that I should stop introducing your brother to every punctual, sensible, well-bred girl in town, because he would only stand there with that expression he uses when he is trying not to look bored.”
“I do not look bored,” Seonghyeon said.
“You do,” Eunji and Lady Eom replied together.
You had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling.
Lady Eom’s eyes sharpened with amusement. “He has wanted the one who arrives late to every ball and never apologizes for it.”
At that, Eunji outright laughed and you giggled. It was true.
Seonghyeon turned to his sister with a look of mock offense. “You are both being unnecessarily cruel.”
Lady Eom’s mouth curved. “Cruel? No, my dear. Efficient.”
Eunji, now fully enjoying herself, added, “I think it is charming. Highly inconvenient, but charming.”
You could feel yourself being pulled into the current of their amusement whether you liked it or not. It was impossible not to. Lady Eom’s approval felt so immediate and so settled that it was almost disorienting. You had expected scrutiny, perhaps a little caution, maybe even the faintest edge of formality. Instead she looked pleased, almost triumphant, as though the whole thing had finally become what she had secretly expected all along.
Seonghyeon, meanwhile, seemed to accept his fate with the weary patience of a man who had been outnumbered for years.
“I resent the implication,” he said.
“You resent everything,” Eunji replied.
“That is not true.”
“It is a little true,” Lady Eom said, and took a sip of tea as though that settled the matter.
He gave them both a long-suffering look that only made Eunji happier.
You glanced at him, unable to help yourself, and found that he was already looking at you. The expression in his eyes was softer than the one he was giving the others—less exasperation, more quiet warmth—and that made your chest ache a little in a way you were not prepared to examine in front of his family.
Lady Eom noticed the glance, of course she did.
Her smile deepened. “There it is.”
You looked up. “There what is?”
“That look,” she clapped, with obvious delight. “The one where neither of you remembers anyone else is in the room.”
Eunji made a muffled sound into her cup. Seonghyeon, who had clearly decided he might as well stop fighting the inevitable, said, “You are all making too much of this.”
“We are making precisely the right amount,” Lady Eom returned.
“I agree,” Eunji said. “If you two had been any later, I might have started a petition.”
You blinked at her. “A petition?”
“For you both to be less ridiculous.”
That made Seonghyeon’s mouth twitch despite himself. “And would it have succeeded?”
Eunji looked him dead in the eye. “No. But it would have been satisfying.”
The tension you had been carrying all afternoon began, very slowly, to loosen.
Not because anything had become less serious. It had not. But because their ease was contagious. Lady Eom was not treating the matter like a scandal. Eunji was not treating it like a surprise. Seonghyeon looked equal parts embarrassed and pleased, which made him seem more human than he had all afternoon. And you, who had spent far too long bracing for disapproval, were finding to your amazement that there was none to be had.
Seonghyeon gave a small sigh, though there was no real complaint in it. “I did not know I was being so thoroughly analyzed.”
“You were,” Eunji said. “Quite successfully.”
“By all of you?”
“Especially by Mother.”
Lady Eom did not deny it. “I have been waiting for you both to stop being foolish.”
You felt a smile tug at your mouth despite yourself. “You knew?”
“I suspected strongly enough to be certain,” she said. “And I will confess, it has been rather entertaining watching the two of you circle one another with increasing desperation while trying to remain dignified.”
Seonghyeon looked at her with the faintest trace of wounded pride. “That was not dignified?”
“No,” Eunji said. “It was obvious.”
“Cruel family,” he muttered.
“Beloved family,” Lady Eom corrected, unbothered.
You saw it then, very clearly: how easy it was for them to include you without fanfare, how quickly the conversation had become less about announcement than about recognition. Lady Eom had not needed convincing. Eunji had not needed to be eased into it. They had simply opened a space and let you step into it.
That fact landed somewhere deep and quiet inside you.
Seonghyeon’s gaze flicked to you again, as though checking whether you were all right. When you gave him the smallest nod, his shoulders seemed to relax just slightly.
Then Lady Eom, with infuriating precision, looked at him and said, “I do hope you are prepared, now that you have finally chosen the one you wanted all along.”
He gave her a look. “Chosen is a strong word.”
Eunji laughed. “That sounds suspiciously like cowardice.”
“It sounds like accuracy.”
“It sounds like you are trying to make your own happiness sound accidental.”
You looked from one to the other, still faintly dazed, and felt the last of your nerves give way entirely.
Lady Eom rose then, smoothing her skirts. “Very well. I shall consider this officially done.”
“Done?” Eunji echoed.
“For the moment,” Lady Eom replied. “Unless either of you decides to become ridiculous again, in which case I reserve the right to intervene.”
Seonghyeon stood with her, and you followed a beat later, still feeling slightly as though the whole exchange had happened to someone else. Lady Eom caught your eye before stepping away.
“You are welcome here, you know this, Miss Edwards,” she said simply.
It was not a grand pronouncement. That was what made it matter.
You swallowed, then nodded. “Thank you.”
Her expression softened. “Do not thank me for what was already obvious.”
Lady Eom smiled to herself as she led the way indoors, and Eunji, still grinning, fell into step after her.
Seonghyeon lingered just long enough to look at you properly, his expression all warmth and quiet satisfaction now that the teasing had run its course.
“We survived,” he said softly.
You gave him a look that was meant to be stern and came out a little helpless instead. “Barely.”
His smile turned gentle. “That is still surviving.”
And as the four of you left the terrace together, with Lady Eom already planning the next practical step and Eunji still muttering happily under her breath, you realized that the hardest part was no longer telling the family.
It was believing, fully and finally, that this was allowed to be real.
maddy speaks !
—okay, so you all know i don't put author's notes and i never will again, but silly tumblr only allows 1k blocks per post and like always i reach PAST that so click NEXT to finish TAoR off !!!
