TIME TRAVEL FUCK MISSILE!

A group of scientists did creepy things to an innocent girl. The results may kill you! CRAZY JANE RP

[haelens]

Ooh! REMEMBERED THIS EMAIL TOO!!

[scribecounter]

Yo, just making it known: I'm in the hospital (AGAIN!) so my motivation to do anything but mope and fester is non-existent. I'm sorry this has held my shitposting up! This time I'm either gonna die or get to 100% I swear.

[haelens]

elasticwomans‌:

❝     …sharknado.   is   it   like   that   jaws   movie?   i   quite   liked   that   one.     ❞   there’s   some   skepticism,   but   not   much   ────   surely   it   can’t   be   a   portmanteau   for   what   she   thinks   it   is.    ❝     i’m   almost   finished   with   this   one   anyway.     ❞

she   tosses   the   remote   in   jane’s   direction   (     for   all   her   advances   in   modern   technology,   navigating   the   netflix   menu   is   not   one   of   them     )   and   moves   to   pour   herself   another   drink.   ❝     want   a   glass?     ❞  

      “Well you know how reboot / reimagining happy the modern world is. It’s like Jaws meets... The Magnificent Seven. The OLD Magnificent Seven.” Swinging her legs off the couch, she considers breakfast again as good ol’ Lightning McQueen is rescued from Radiator Springs. Why had she sat through this entire abomination?

  Catch. Remote twirled about, and set down on her pillow, she hops up and moves toward the kitchen. “I’ll take a Sidecar.” Her shoulders don’t dip, despite the teasing smile claiming dominance on her expression. “I’m making a sandwich, want anything solid to chase that with?”

[haelens]

perfectdisastcr‌:

“Gee Jane—Thanks. That means so much.” He was quick to the draw as he rolled his eyes behind the goggle sunglasses, wondering if it was even worth his effort to continuing listening after the fact. Still bringing up the nipple thing, it was an effort on her part to even come up with something as odd as the request. And as he meets her gaze, he almost feels as though she’s baring into his soul. “Let’s see—my entire body was consumed in a fire, so the flesh on my body —including, yes, the nipples— was burned to a very crisp that no man could have survived without a radioactive negative spirit embodiment. Does that answer your question, or should I go into further depth about the most traumatic filled day of my life? Or better yet, should I just show you the burned flesh right now and get it over with?”

The fuck did he want from her? Purple prose about just how much he meant to her, and how she’d never be able to go on without him? He was a self-hating mummy, fuck him. God, she was regretting reaching out to him already, and it’d only been two minutes. Thankfully, her sense of wonderment was fulfilled within the first second or so of his sure to be long-winded response. She’s a soft “Mhmm.” for him, in between ‘let’s see’ and ‘the nipples’, and then in the moments to follow she’s quickly fading away from the conversation. His muffled voice bounces off her ear drums for a bit... and then... oh, silence? It’s after a few seconds, just to make sure, that she turns toward him again. “Thanks, Larry.”

[haelens]

i’m still alive, despite all the signs to the contrary. i’ve been in extended meditation & attempting to reclaim my sense of self, but otherwise I’m here! What’s the word, write me starters, let’s interact.

[haelens]

my binge was scary this week. if I do log on it'll be later and very quietly.

[haelens]

i’m gonna be hiding away on my discord, chipping away at my OC. i’m off tomorow, so if I’m not dead I’ll be around working.

[haelens]

my binge was scary this week. if I do log on it'll be later and very quietly.

[haelens]

God, my secret™ smut blog has drawn in some weird customers let me tell you.

[safetyliights]

linda-belcher‌:

everyone should reblog this with the only personality assessment that matters: your favorite disney princess, favorite color, favorite superhero, and favorite season

[haelens]

She-Hulk looking kinda thick in the Marvel #1000 issue.

[haelens]

Gay? If so, how much?

Let’s do this for EVERY alter in the system, cause i’m bored:

Baby Doll: Pan

Baby Harlot: Pan

Bizzie Lizzie Borden: Hetero

Black Annis: ACE

Blood of the Lamb: Ace

Bubble: Hetero

Butterfly Baby: Ace

Crazy Jane: Pan

Dr. Harrison: Demi/Bi

Driller Bill: Lesbian

Driver 8: Ace

Flaming Katy: Pan

Flit: Lesbian

Hammerhead: LESBIAN!

Jack Straw: Fucking Scarecrow.

Jeann: Ace

Jill-in-Irons: Hetero

Karen: Hetero

K-5: She’s Five.

Kit W'the Canstick: Lesbian.

Lady Purple: Hetero

Liza Radley: Pan

Lucy Fugue: Lesbian

Mama Pentecost: Ace

Merry Andrew: Gay

Miranda: R.I.P.

No One: ACE.

Penny Farthing: Hetero

Pepper's Ghost: Demi

Pretty Polly Closeted, but she thinks girls are cute~

Rain Brain: Cosmic.

Scarlet Harlot: Pan

Sex Bomb: Pan

Silver Tongue: Lesbian

Spinning Jenny: Protect her, she’s a soft gay.

Stigmata: Ace

Sun Daddy: Hetero

Sylvia: Hetero

The Engineer: Hetero

The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter: Lesbian

The Nun: Ace

The Pointman: Bi

The Secretary: Bi

The Shapeless Children: They’re kids

The Signal-Man: Hetero

The Sin-Eater: Ace

The Snow Queen: Bi

The Weird Sisters: Fuck them, honestly.

[haelens]

I had a pretty good idea for an OC, honestly.

[haelens]

Okay, that’s all 10 bits of interaction and it only took- what, two hours?

[haelens]

The door opens, just a hair, to see who’s standing on the other side and- then the door is slammed shut. There’s not much in the way of ‘locks’ on the inside of the manor, but there are sixty-four souls standing strong with a fierce grip on holding the door shut.

  It only takes one, the one in charge, to call out and ask, “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?”

@heartsandmiinds || SMALL PATROL.

[haelens]

In one hand, a hamburger on a plate. Lettuce, Tomato, Bacon, Swiss, just the way she likes it. The other hand? Pressed up against that big red button on his chest, waiting for his chest-plate to open up. “How many watts does this thing get? I need this re-heated and quickly.”

@tornreality || SMALL PATROL.

[haelens]

      “You’re one of Garfield’s friends?” She might not have been around during the, ah, ‘crossover event’, but she’d certainly heard the stories from Rita and Cliff in the aftermath. “I’m Jane, it’s nice to make your acquaintance.” There was something about this woman. Something tangible, the hairs on her arms were standing up. “We’re making burgers inside, d’you want one?”

@skathmarked || SMALL PATROL.

[haelens]

Eats a chicken leg & casually watches while leaning against a door frame

He always seems to find her in meditation. Or, at the very least, attempting it. While part of her sits at her station in The Underground, the other part is very much in the present, finding herself breathing in time to his chewing.

  In. Smack. Chu-Chug.  Out. Chew. Guch-Huch.

She closes her eyes in The Underground, and opens them in the present, finding him devouring a chicken leg whole. She thinks of Rita, and finds herself smiling.

      “Do you meditate, John? I find it’s a healthier alternative to sleeping.”

@forgedwar || Blooming Lotuses & Chicken Legs