Hello! Welcome to my once in a blue moon post! This is the sequel of Heliotrope- or rather, prequel! The end is after you’ve recovered from what happens in Heliotrope, so if you’d like to, do give that a read!^^
Another Anilysium collab. Prompt I chose was “You’ve always been mine” but I tweaked it a little, it’s basically the same though.
Ship: Tsukishima x M!Reader (the gender doesn’t matter much but the male gendered term is used at the end)
Genre: Angst, hurt comfort
Trigger/Content Warnings: near death experience, suicide, discussion of all that kind of thing, Reader also previously tried to kill himself, it’s fluffy in some parts but boy does it hurt in the beginning, Reader ruins Tsukishima’s uniform, this all takes place during Tsukishima’s third year, they also both get punked by the ocean so if you have a discomfort with that do be careful!
Sand clung to skin and the harsher rays of light that usually cascaded and burnt you had died away into a fading tangerine glow. You perched comfortably on the sand, taking note of the undulating waves- they were like you in the sense that while you could crash down hard on the opposition, you would shy away in a fragile manner when faced with gentle treatment.
You were scared of love, really.
Perhaps it was that you felt you weren’t worth such luxuries that you found it hard to make friends through your first few years of high school. Perhaps it was trying to push people away because you were afraid yet alarmingly aware of your mortality. Perhaps it was something else entirely, something you weren’t quite ready to come to terms with.
What you did know was that you weren’t alone in the violent struggle through high school to make friends while you had your walls up. Next to you was someone you never thought you’d share your favorite place with; in any terms you found this boy appalling with his behavior. So appalling, you saw yourself in the way he closed himself off and cut those close with tongue lashings. You knew this only through another friend who took issue with him as you went to another school in an entire other prefecture.
Words mauled their way out from your throat, breaking the silence between you and Tsukishima Kei.
“I won’t ask you why you tried to do what you did today. But I will ask if there’s anyone you can talk to in your life.”
You were still trembling from what had happened hours ago, but you knew he needed comfort first and foremost…
You walked past the blonde as he had stepped off a bridge, down a height into oncoming traffic, with the intent to end his own life.
But fortunately, you had snapped his wrist into your own and hauled him up- his thin and cold frame relied on yours as you prevented him from finally doing what he’d planned. You stumbled backward with your combined weight. Your eyes stung unbearably as you cried in delayed fear, hot tears warming your windburnt face like a soothing balm. Tsukishima was frozen, face against your chest, like he wasn’t sure if his suicide attempt had actually worked. His glasses fell and shattered in the traffic… but he was up here still?
Finally he looked at you with wide gold eyes and his expression melted into one of dismay- not anger as you had expected. His nose crinkled as his eyes watered and he shoved you,
“Why did you have to be in Sendai right now…?”
You didn’t have an answer for him, still caught up in the panic that he could have died moments ago. You held him against your form, shaking.
He took your silence in stride and slowly wound his thin arms around you.
You took him to this beach to talk about it, as you knew no one would be around.
“You know, I’ve tried to kill myself too,” you smiled sadly, eyes now focusing on the hues in the horizon. You saw the way his posture changed in your peripherals- some kind of visceral reaction.
“You never would’ve guessed, would you have, Tsukishima Kei?” You turned to look at him, wry expression plain in the way your eyes crinkled in pain. He clammed up when you looked at him, then ran a hand through his hair and dismissively looked to the sky.
“I don’t think you can guess someone is suicidal, really…” he muttered.
“Mm,” you hummed in response.
The ocean spoke for you both, reaching out to touch your outstretched legs. You nearly jumped at the cold sea water soaking your jeans.
“Oh, that sucks,” Tsukishima said hollowly at your state.
“Yeah, no shit… wet jeans SUCK,” you kick at the ocean as if to fight it or punish it for soaking you. You unconsciously glanced at Tsukishima.
He was fixated on the glittering sea, wheat blonde hair hosting an ethereal glow courtesy of the dying sunshine casting over him. His expression was stuck in a numb neutral one, but his lips quirked up in the corners subtly when he noticed your discomfort in your wet jeans.
… you’re not doing your job as this introvert’s government assigned himbo.
You let out a little huff, then stood up.
Tsukishima watched you with a curious expression.
You shrugged off your jacket and tossed it far, where the ocean wouldn’t dare touch it.
“Well, I’m going for a swim.”
You approached the ocean, submerging yourself in the nearly ice cold water.
Tsukishima sputtered our your surname and scrambled forward in an attempt to stop you. You laughed when he entirely missed and landed on his hands and knees in the sand.
“Come on, the water’s fine!”
“I- n- ??????” He just seemed confused, then watched you approach again.
“If you won’t come in by yourself, then I’ll do it.”
You hauled all of the 6’3” Tsukishima up into your arms, ignoring his flailing and struggling. You started your trek into the ocean until the waves were lapping at your stomach, then you dipped the blonde in your arms straight into the water.
His first instinct, of course, was to punch you. You laughed at his weak jab to your chest, then stood him up in the water, pulling him close so he was still warm.
He looked at you begrudgingly, face dyed pink from the way he exhausted himself fighting against you.
“Do you feel the ocean around you?” You glanced around both of you.
“Do you feel the warmth of the sunset?”
He let out a hum of confirmation.
“These are moments of life you would never experience again in death, you wouldn’t ever see these wonderful moments again.”
He set his forehead against your shoulder.
“… I don’t care. I just wanted it to stop hurting, I wanted to care about things again.” He grumbled.
You splashed his side, “Would you like to try giving life another chance?” You stepped back so to look Tsukishima over, “You know, I’m not religious, but I very much believe in fate. I think someone or something sent me here today, someone brought me here to help you, to remind you that there is always more.”
His expression was twisted in pain, “… I don’t believe you.”
“Can you give me a shot? A chance to explain myself, I mean,” you grin, trying your hardest to convince him.
“Awesome. Thank you for letting me show you life is worth it, TsuKei,” you leant in and kissed his forehead.
His breath caught in his throat.
Then you knocked him fully into the water. He got up and sputtered.
“You asshole! I’m still in my uniform, this is hand wash only! It’s gonna be messed up!”
“I’ll pay for another one, Tsukishima Kei, you should live for now. Or else I’m gonna knock you in the water again.”
His eyes widened, then he smirked and grabbed your shin and tugged.
You slipped and fell into the water as well, feigning surprise with a high pitched squeal. A look of victory crossed his face, then he looked to the horizon in regret.
Suddenly you were both engulfed by the ocean, sent spiraling out to shore and struggling for breath under the oppressive ocean. Your body tumbled out into the dunes and you wheezed out a breath.
Fortunately, you were both only under for a moment, so there was no real risk of either of you drowning.
Unfortunately, though, Tsukishima was shoved on top of you by the ocean, as if mocking the situation. You stared up at him in surprise and he looked down at you with a mix of amusement and horror.
You should’ve probably been caught up on how you were both now completely soaked (not your plan), there was sand in your socks (definitely not the plan), and now you really didn’t have the upper hand in this situation. You had to balance things out somehow, so you just let the first thing that came to mind slip out…
“Take me to dinner first, holy shit.”
Tsukishima grimaced at your comment, “Ew.”
You laughed and pushed him up so you could at least try to get the sand out from your hair. He perched up on his knees. Tsukishima’s face was flushed as he wiped the sand off the elbows of his shirt.
He glanced up, a mix of annoyed and embarrassed, acknowledging you.
“Let me be your shelter in these hard times. Let’s exchange phone numbers.”
He sighed a bit, then looked over at your blazer, then back to you, “My phone was in my pocket. Unless you snatched it earlier.”
“You’re picking up on my tricks already?!” You asked, faux-surprised. You walked over to your jacket and offered his phone to him.
“… alright, (L/N), I’ll try to come to you if I need anything…”
You smiled and rested your arm around his shoulders, leading him back to the sidewalk before the beach, “Then I’ll walk you home.”
Seven years later you both stood out on the beach during the sunset, watching two kids run around like the entities of chaos they were.
“So, TsuKei, do you regret letting me show you life was worth it? Or are you grateful?” You leaned into your husband’s shoulder.
“Don’t make me say it… of course I’m grateful, you asshole…” he blushed and turned, hiding behind longer locks of that familiar wheat blonde hair.
“Ooh! So mean to me still and we’ve been married for how long?”
“Shut up…” his ears flushed pink. He was still so easy to embarrass. One of the little girls playing runs up to you and grabs your pant leg, and you look down.
“Dad! I found a shell!” She showed a seashell she was so proud of. The way she smiled was so similar to you, there was no doubt at the end of the day she was your daughter. Your gaze wandered over to Isaka, your other daughter, who was staring at the ocean as if it was personally insulting her.
“… thinking of something?” Kei asked you, watching Isaka as well.
“Just how I’m so happy that you wound up being mine… I think I won the lottery as far as partners go. You’re all I wanted, haha…” you look away nervously, hiding from the reality of such a serious confession.
“… did you ever think I wasn’t going to be yours?” He asked gently.
“… there were a few moments, yeah.”
“Really… I think I’ve always been yours, ever since I landed in your arms those years ago.”
Your hand held his tighter.
Want more good fic? Look at our collab’s masterlist!
