YESSSSS RACHEL AND JOEY BELONG TOGETHER!!!!!! I s2g man ross only saw her as an option for dating (read: sex) the entire time they knew one another, but joey knew her as a friend first and then got feelings and he's SO SWEET. i love joey tribbiani so much.
I’m so sorry but I made a super long response because I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT HOW OUR GIRL RACHEL WAS *WRONGED*.
I can’t remember where I first saw it, but someone gave an EXCELLENT analysis of why Rachel and Ross were problematic from the very beginning to the end, and why Joey was a better option for her.To try and summarize their point while also adding my own thoughts, Rachel’s entire character arc is centered around her becoming an independent woman who can take care of herself without being dictated to or controlled. For the majority of the seasons, Rachel frequently turned to Monica and begged her to make Rachel’s choices for her, and had to work extremely hard to take control of her own life, her own choices, and become confident in them to the point that she not only became successful, but happy with the life she was creating.
Ross is not only problematic because he’s controlling, manipulative, jealous, and takes out his insecurities on others, but he’s literally the embodiment of everything Rachel is trying to get away from in her character arc, which is why he’s so tempting to her because Ross is familiar to her. She’s used to controlling and manipulative men (her father) making all of her decisions, keeping her in a bubble to the point she can’t learn from her own experiences, and constantly doing everything so Rachel would be more dependent on him and want him more.
For example, not be her own person, but literally belong to Ross to the point that she can’t have any male friendships he doesn’t approve of, even if it’s just coworker relationships! Also consistently disrespecting her privacy. Whether it was watching her naked through a window and taking that to mean she wanted sex instead of just calling and asking if she was aware her windows were open, or that time she asked him to turn around while she was changing and he not only refused, but closed his eyes and repeatedly told her he could see her naked whenever he wanted because he remembered. When she asks him to stop saying it, he doesn’t, and thinks it’s funny even when she’s clearly uncomfortable while acting as though her discomfort is childish when he’s the one acting like a child. Or how about the ‘we were on a break.’ It’s not about the break, dumb ass. Break or not, she felt betrayed, and he should have apologized for hurting her regardless of a break in the relationship. Bam. Instant solve. But instead he was more interested in making her take the blame for his actions and guilt tripped her constantly for his own mistakes
Obviously Rachel has a hard time saying no to someone like Ross because he’s what she’s spent her whole life growing up in. Controlling men who have to be heard and followed. It’s easy for Rachel to be sucked back into that. We really see that when Rachel realizes she’s becoming like her father when she verbally and emotionally harasses Joey while trying to teach him how to sail, and immediately hates herself for it because she recognizes it as toxic behavior and immediately removes any opportunities where she might do that to Joey or anyone else because she values others more than her own need to be right. (Behavior that’s eerily similar to Ross.)
But Rachel’s arc is about taking the difficult path for the betterment of herself and her own life, being her own person! So choosing Ross in the end, when he didn’t really improve at all in his own terrible habits and behaviors (making her choose him over a job she loved and would be amazing at), was a slap in the face to everything Rachel worked for in the series. I respect her enough to make her own decisions, but damn it wasn’t a good choice in the end, and I blame the writers for that because they were more interested in the long term ridiculousness of the relationship instead of something wholesome and supportive that Rachel deserved after all her hard work.Now, Joey. Oh, Joey. I love him. He deserved better and more time to develop his own character arc, but Rachel was a good story line for him because he found someone he literally fell in love with and instead of being insecure about it to the point of controlling Rachel to make himself feel better, he tried to work on himself instead. He dealt with his own emotions (in an amusing way, of course), but he tried to work on him. He didn’t want Rachel to change. He liked her exactly as she was and he worked SO HARD to be worthy of her without ever asking her to change, give up relationships, or force her to do things his way.
When she needed a room, he offered it without conditions (even though he did throw in a joke to make it seem less serious, because he has his own insecurities to deal with) and when Rachel was pregnant, he moved heaven and hell for her to be comfortable in their apartment and changed his life dramatically to make sure she and the baby would be safe and happy. Meanwhile, Ross managed to guilt Joey and Rachel into having Rachel move in with Ross, all because Ross wanted Rachel and the baby to himself since he was ‘the father.’ He completely disregarded how well off and happy Rachel and Joey were on their own.
Joey was also extremely honest when he realized he had feelings for Rachel, needed to voice his feelings, and he dealt with it in a shockingly mature way that put Ross’s behavior to shame, even though Joey wasn’t comfortable and fumbled his way through it. And when Rachel initially rejected him, Joey didn’t fight her on it. He tried to move on and be the best friend he could possibly be. Meanwhile, when Rachel broke up with Ross, he acted like a child and continued to be emotionally manipulative.
Joey respects Rachel and who she is as a person. He trusts her and treats her like she hung the moon. He understands her in a way Ross couldn’t because Ross was more interested in what Rachel could do for him instead of being willing to accept her decisions the first time and not constantly emotionally pull her around and make her life more difficult.
Also, Rachel respected Joey. They had great chemistry, were allowed to be goofy together without feeling guilty (making messes, playing kid games), enjoyed many of the same things (which was super evident when Phoebe tried to drive Rachel out of Joey’s apartment by buying drums and they BOTH loved it, and when Phoebe bought a spider Rachel was able to take care of it for Joey who was afraid of them. Talk about strength for each other’s weaknesses. Rachel fights Joey’s fears and Joey fights Rachel’s fears, whether it’s insecurities, lack of confidence, or spiders or messing up).
And Rachel also supported his work as an actor, was the most excited for him in his soap opera work out of all the friends, and demanded to go with him to all his events where he was honored because she loved him and what he did. (The friends supported him too, but Rachel was VERY vocal about how much she loved the show he was in and how excited she was for him when he was up for nominations.)
TL;DR Joey and Rachel had better chemistry, had mutual respect for each other and their work and personalities, and didn’t try to manipulate each other when they hit a brick wall. That’s the stuff healthy relationships are made of, and it would have made more sense to Rachel’s character arc to either choose no man and continue to carve a life for herself independently, or at least choose someone like Joey who respected her, her decisions, and didn’t try to manipulate her constantly and only wanted her to be happy, no matter what she chose. (Like Joey.)
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