Hum as you hitch

Bethany, 30s, England. ko-fi | ao3 | 🦀🦀 I try to write. It doesn't work. Don't believe me? Click on the crabs for my writing link! Currently into cdramas, kdramas, DC and Danny Phantom (especially dpxdc rn)! Remember when I had a sheep here all the time? That was weird.

[dyk-tv-theme-song]

Do you recognize this TV theme song? #695

I know this and can name the series

I know this but can't name the series

I might know this

I've never heard this

Voting ended onJul 16

[dyk-tv-theme-song]

Series: Detectorists (2014-2022)

Composer: Johnny Flynn

[dyk-tv-theme-song]

Visit Original Link

Do you recognize this TV theme song? #714

I know this and can name the series

I know this but can't name the series

I might know this

I've never heard this

Remaining time: 2 days 21 hours

[anywhoozles]

[silvermoon424]

This tweet read me to filth

[ky-landfill]

[whizradio]

“This is a story about gaslighting” says the author. I don’t give it much thought, I start reading, and then I, the reader, get gaslighted-

Seriously though, “A Meditation on Railroading” by @eggmacguffin is *chef’s kiss* I found it maybe a couple of months ago at most and I’ve read it 3? 4 times? I won’t spoil anything but when I tell you this fic played with my emotions I mean it, it’s really good!!!

[whizradio]

Ah yes, the “Tim Drake gets into a very bad situation and even though he’d be able to contact any of the bats if he wanted to, he decided that since this is a situation he got into as Tim Drake he is going to fix it all by himself as to not worry anyone, even though the bats are all collectively loosing their mind over not finding their kid, and Tim just keeps getting in more and more trouble and making his situation way worse” fic genre, one of my favorites.

Anyways, here’s some fanart for Buy the ticket, take the ride which falls perfectly into that category! It’s by an anonymous user so F, but it’s pretty good and def a ride so you should give it a try if you haven’t!

[prideinmymouth]

thinking about the unternet suit again. crazy work. can't believe dc actually created peak tim drake and then immediately forgot they did that

[valtsv]

"you will look for themes and motifs in media that isn't worth the effort" i will look for themes and motifs in the dirt. on the ground.

[fairandwilds]

From the country that brought you:

Lady Prime Minister 👩‍💼💼 📉 vs. a Lettuce 🥬🥗🍃

Please enjoy the thrilling sequel:

Original Racist 3000 👨🏻‍💼🐟🍺 vs. a Bin 🗑️🚮🧛‍♂️

[swagophile]

not enough love going around for Loser Girl With Glasses can we get some more love going around for all the girls with greasy unwashed hair and glasses that are all fogged up and smudgy because her skins oily and she still hasnt taken a shower yet. lets give her some love too. please

[beholdingslut]

this from the guy who wrote the sting pain index, a scale he constructed after letting himself be stung by insects

[beholdingslut]

“why did i start this list” pleaseeeeeee this is so funny

[caracalliope]

his descriptions were extremely on-point, and frankly inspiring when writing a hurt/comfort scene

Instagram poets could never!

[lobautumny]

For those who want it, here is the entire list:

Anyways, dude's 1,000% a huge masochist. Nobody just describes pain like this unless they're enjoying it.

[onehundredandtwentyfour]

Schmidt sting pain index - Wikipedia

[rhube]

Is Tumblr aware of Count Binface, current hope for our nation?

Let me explain:

Grotesque fascist grifter, Nigel Farage, is the leader of Reform, the racist far right party he created because UKIP got what it wanted (Brexit) and it sucked.

Having tried and failed to be an MP many times (but somehow getting more screentime than any Liberal Democrat or Green politician), he finally succeeded in the last election because people were so overwhelmingly pissed off with the Conservatives, and many right-wing people saw Reform as the new Conservative Party; partly because it's full of rejects from the Conservative Party.

Speculation: he doesn't really want to be an MP, he wants to be a fascist grifter. He's annoyed by suggestions he do things like Be In His Constituency and Serve His Constituents.

He's recently been caught having accepted a VERY large amount of money from some unsavory people that he insists was a totally legitimate 'donation' and not breaking any rules.

Only it did break the rules and it's very clear that it did and things are in motion to hold him to account.

To avoid this, he has resigned as an MP, saying this is a protest at his treatment by the 'establisment' (he is a rich fascist grifter, but he likes to cosplay as a Man of the People). This has triggered a by-election, in which he is standing, with the hope that the people of his constituency will either elect him in a resounding win, indicating they don't care that he's corrupt (having not heard everything the investigation is uncovering), or someone from Labour or the Conservatives will win and he can swan off to America, free to grift again because of what the 'establishment' did to him.

Only, all the major political parties have agreed not to stand, stating openly that this is an obvious stunt and they won't legitimise it. So if he doesn't win, he can't say it was because he was too much of a rebel and the Establishment went against him, he'll just be a loser, which doesn't play too well with the right-wingers he wants to grift. And if he does get back in the investigation will go forward without any kind of 'mandate' from his constituency buoying him up.

But. There is another option.

COUNT BINFACE IS RUNNING.

Count Binface is part of the grand British tradition of joke candidates who stand as a protest option. They usually don't get enough votes to get their deposit back (which is supposed to deter unserious people) but they don't care, because DEMOCRACY.

Of course, Count Binface has never won, but it is hilarious to see a completely serious pathetic fascist concede defeat while standing next to a man with a bin on his head to whom they are democratically equal.

But if nobody else is standing. And if enough people in Clacton-on-Sea are finally cheesed off enough with Farage not doing anything for them, there is just a chance that one of the funniest things to ever happen in politics will happen.

Imagine. Imagine for just a moment that the Grotesque Fascist not only loses, but loses to Count Binface.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Also, for reference, Farage resigning won't actually stop the investigation against him. The investigation will just be paused while the by-election is going on.

If he wins, the investigation will no longer be paused. It looks very likely that Farage will be found to have breached parliamentary disclosure rules which, considered the severity (5 million quid ain't nothing), could get Farage suspended from parliament.

And if Farage is suspended for 10 days or more, it could trigger a recall petition which can trigger a new by-election that Nigel would have to stand in again if he wants to keep his seat.

But if he loses, the investigation may be picked up again. Not being an MP does not mean the investigation can't continue. If it's considered appropriate, it will carry on.

I say this for anyone in Clacton-on-Sea who worries voting for the Count would let Nigel off scot-free. Farage does not have a get-out-of-jail-free-card for this investigation. Especially because there's at least another four Reform donations that were reported by bankers as suspicious.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

All very true lol

To clarify further, candidates like Count Binface, Lord Buckethead, etc will stand in elections as the political equivalent of some dangly shiny keys to distract toddlers - there are always people who want to protest vote, and also people who will do what they think is funniest. So, these guys will stand in constituencies where important candidates are running to mop up the idiot votes and help protect the integrity of the actual contest. This is why they run in the constituency where the incumbent prime minister stands.

Here, it's necessary because of the exceptionally weird situation described above

HOWEVER, I should stress that there are actually multiple candidates - no post I've seen on this subject on Tumblr this far seems to mention this, so I think everyone is coming away with the idea that it's Farage or Binface. Ad OP says, no MAJOR parties are standing - even the Tories are calling this "Farage's fake by-election" (insert the Good Place "Even Jason got it? This one hurts" meme). But, there are currently nine confirmed candidates! Let's take a look at the high quality the people of Clacton are being given:

Nigel Farage. See above. He is standing for Reform, the UK's main far-right party which is splintering into identical sounding smaller parties even as we speak

Count Binface, the political extra-terrestrial alter ego of comedian Jonathan David Harvey (his stand-up shows are currently selling the fuck out lol)

Reclaim, one of the splinters from Reform, are sending infamous washed-up racist actor and all round piece of shit Laurence Fox, a man who simply will not stop partaking of his favourite hobby, which is losing defamation lawsuits for calling gay men and drag queens paedophiles

The British Democratic Party, a splinter group founded by former National Front members from the British National Party who felt the BNP was getting too soft and left-wing, are sending Kai Stephens.

The Forward Party, a party so obscure they don't even have a Wikipedia page, are sending Adham Alkhatip. He, too, does not have a Wikipedia page

And now! The independents!

6. Piers Corbyn, a conspiracy theorist who thinks climate change and COVID are hoaxes and is friends with David Icke (and describes his ex-wife as a Jewess)

7. Rob Pownall, an anti-fox hunting campaigner who likes to stand for election while dressed as a fox

8. Ollie Granger, a television personality

9. Luke Worley, a reality TV guy who, unlike everyone else on this list, is actually from Clacton

Meanwhile, the Monster Raving Loony Party have stated that they intend to field a candidate. So between Binface, the fox guy and whoever they choose, we might actually get three separate candidates in fancy dress to watch Nigel Farage's weird temper tantrum

[fishpondfish]

not everything is getting worse. at least you don't hear high hopes by panic at the disco every day anymore

[deoxoid]

his wife has filled THEIR house with ANTIQUES. to AVOID DAMAGING HER VALUABLES i fuck him on the floor

[manyblinkinglights]

#feminist retelling

[nicostiel]

#so true bestie

[luimnigh]

Holy shit.

Both Labour and the Tories have announced they won't stand a candidate against Farage in the Clacton by-election, calling it a stunt and a gimmick. The Lib Dems have called on all parties to "stand aside".

Restore Britain (a splinter far-right party) have also said they won't stand a candidate.

So far the only other candidate to confirm they'll be running is Count Binface.

God I wanna see Count Binface beat Farage.