i would like to have a seaweed salad

I'm Ellie but my friends call me.... eel

[thahalfrican]

Ay no shade but be careful who you give your heart to

[ethereumwinds]

fun fact about the next avengers film being filmed in edinburgh: they’ve blocked off certain areas which is disrupting one specific postal van’s delivery route which is in turn leading to an awkward stand-off at the police station because Marvel Studios might be a billion dollar company but this man really wants to do his job and apparently interfering with the course of the Royal Mail technically counts as treason so they’re at a stalemate

[angryjerkandstrawboy]

this is the best thing i’ve heard all day

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

Scotland, everybody.

[ihavealotoffeelings]

Who would win in a fight: a billion dollar superhero film franchise at the top of its game or one (1) Scottish mailman.

[countrylesbian-moving]

[ihatejonarbuckle]

He has been weakened.

[nheyguys-deactivated20181204]

succumb to the grain

[ihatejonarbuckle]

reblog to add a grain of rice

[godnibblets-deactivated20130730]

[mostsmartestbestdamntapper]

gay porn is a gift

[meanplastic]

Me forever

[earth-tooth]

dont support industries that are driving animals to extinction thank you!

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

Also all of the ammonites are already dead so that’s a plus

[charredasperity]

Salvation Army hurts more people than it helps 

PETA kills more animals than it saves 

Red Cross hordes more money than it spends on relief 

Susan J. Komen Spends more on lawsuits than on medical research 

Wounded Warrior spends most of their funds on parties

Always research charities before you donate to them because just because they’re famous, that doesn’t mean they’re good 

[autasticanna]

Autism Speaks spends 3% of their income helping autistic people and has released videos stating that having autistic children will ruin your life

[theanti90smovement]

[nflstreet-deactivated20180710]

[powersnail]

they lock tom brady in a room and only let him out to do football

[virovac]

Or he could just be an introvert.

I’ve only had a strawberry once, and am not interested in recreational stimulants.

[nucleosynthetic-deactivated2021]

im sorry i keep reblogging this over and over but i have been thinking about this comment all day

[comrade-kirby-deactivated202009]

The seven deadly sins as vines

[thenearsightedmonkey]

By Lynda Barry  May 2016

[kateordie]

Every time I see this I love it more

[theshitneyspears]

me: *takes edible* why don’t I feel anything? 

me 2 hours later:

[infinityonhigher-deactivated201]

“the world moves so fast that we didn’t know if people would care, so to have people care now and show interest… that’s the great part. it proves to us that this band did mean something.”

[rockhardgeologist]

A prodigy

[sindri42]

You missed the best part. They weren’t even their sheep. This good pupper gathered up a bunch of random sheep it found somewhere on the countryside and brought them home for its human.

[gothhabiba]

a woman: hi, how are you?

a man: hm. see I wouldn’t have phrased it exactly like that. I might have said “hello” or perhaps “salutations.” but the way you said it is cute though.

[bardstardish]

when i woke up this morning, my first thought was ‘no one visits my grave anymore’ and i was really sad for a few minutes so i lay on my bed with my eyes shut and then all of a sudden i opened my eyes and was like ‘wait i don’t have a grave what the fuck’

[vvitchella]

you were possessed

[cryptiboy]

find the spirit that possessed you and visit their grave you jackass

[foxy-mulder-deactivated20190929]

some guy: uhhh there’s a leaf in your water

person who’s about to invent tea: oh haven’t you heard?

[foxy-mulder-deactivated20190929]

I’M SCREAMING I DID NOT KNOW THIS