Jake Puckerman. Sophomore. The Real Megastud.You've entered the blog of Jake Puckerman, resident bad boy stud at McKinley High. Brother of the legend, Noah Puckerman Puck, and the best damn dancer in the glee club. Got a problem with that? We can take it...
Jake: Marley seems to think the answer to every problem is to sing it out, and Schue's doing some stupid 'kumbaya, let's all be friends again' theme week, and we've been paired up.
Ryder: They make Dr. Pepper flavor? Now there's a girl I want to kiss! Dr. Pepper's totally the best soda. Probably not, it seems like it would be a weird and slimy flavor.
Ryder: You seriously might be the perfect girl.
Ryder: That really sucks. But uh, sometimes that stuff happens, right? People don't always do it on purpose, it's just hard to turn feelings off and sometimes they act without thinking. I hope you don't hate your friend forever, because I've kinda been in her shoes and they're not really fun either.
Katie: They do! Dr. Pepper's one of the better flavors. Bubblegum just tastes like cotton candy and that's gross. Do yourself a flavor and never eat a stick of chapstick? It'll probably make you sick.
Katie: I'm pretty sure you're the only guy who thinks that.
Katie: Yeah... maybe. It just sucks because we were good friends and now I can't look at her without wanting to like, throw things at her or something. Not that I go around hitting girls or anything, but it just makes me mad I guess.
Katie: Enough about that though. Tell me something about yourself. Anything! Like, your favorite book. Or your favorite kind of music.
Ryder: Is there a secret flavor that all girls like best or something? Also, I have a friend in glee club that probably tried to eat chapstick before he started using it a lot. I should ask him tomorrow.
Ryder: You've got a totally impressive resume! What's next, you're going to tell me that you've seen the Godfather too? Or maybe that you love Shark Week?
Ryder: Okay, awesome. Cool. Are you trying to get over somebody too?
Katie: Bubblegum? Cherry? Dr. Pepper? I don't know, I guess it depends on the girl. I don't think it tastes very good though if you try to eat the whole thing.
Katie: Leave the gun, take the cannoli. ;)
Katie: You could say that. A friend of mine went after a boy she knew I liked and now I'm pretty sure we're no longer friends.
Ryder: I don't know. I'd probably be one of those dumb kids that tried to eat the whole tube if it smelled like a cinnamon roll. Maybe that's why they don't make flavors for boys - it might poison us.
Ryder: That's okay, you're already like... way ahead of most girls I know. A lot of them have seen 0, which I'm pretty sure even IMDB says is a crime.
Ryder: What? Oh, crap, no, sorry. I just meant - would you hate me if I said I was kind of trying to get over someone?
Katie: Boys would probably do that... it doesn't help that they make most of them taste good too. You can blame Lip Smackers for that.
Katie: Sweet! I'll add it to my list of bragging rights then - right after being the co-leader in charge of the Cute Single People's club. ;)
Katie: Of course not. A lot of people join these websites to help them get over people.
Ryder: So... you didn't kiss a girl and like it? Kinda a relief, since girl lips always taste like vanilla and stuff. Why don't they make more flavored chapsticks for dudes?
Ryder: He had a nose when he was young - have you seen all the movies? But it could have burned off in all that lava. I don't know. Some guys are, but I actually kind of like girls that just say what they're thinking and aren't afraid to just be themselves. Or girl, at least.
Katie: Nope, never kissed any girls. Though I sometimes wonder why they insist on making chapstick in ridiculous flavors like cinnamon roll or cotton candy. They probably think girls are the only ones who like frou-frou flavors.
Katie: I can guarantee I've seen each of the movies at least once, but my memory could be unreliable so I'll take your word for it.
Katie: Uh-oh. Too much mystery, not enough honesty?
Ryder: Tons of mean girls, too, but I figured you weren't trying to date them. Unless - uh, I mean, if you're bisexual or something that's totally cool. Just more competition to get you to like me.
Ryder: I'm on the good side of the force, duh. People don't like mouth breathers, so I got over thinking Darth Vader was cool pretty young. Oooh, so you're trying to be a mystery?
Katie: Me? Nope, I just like boys. I mean, I like girls too, I just don't want to kiss them like that Katy Perry song seems to suggest. So no worries - you're in the lead in this competition. ;)
Katie: Going mad with the dark side of the force aside, Darth Vader was pretty cool. Makes me wonder if he didn't have a nose, like Voldemort. I am! I hear guys are interested in mystery. Care to confirm or deny the theory?
Ryder: Weird, a lot of guys at my school are jerk too :p
Ryder: Wow, you got all that just from looking at what I wrote? I didn't even mention the fact that I have awesome Star Wars sheets on there! CSP, I should add that to my list of qualifications.
Katie: What, no mean girls? :P
Katie: Oh god, I just burst out laughing. That's actually kind of cute. Depending on which side of the Force you're on. Well I don't know about you, but I'm adding that to my profile right now. Let people try to figure that one out.
Ryder: Have you had bad luck with guys in the past? I mean, you seem cool. If you can't even get it right, then there's no hope for me :p Nice! What should our buttons say? Our name's kind of long.
Katie: I guess you could say that. A lot of the guys at my school are just jerks.
Katie: Oh shush, there's hope for you! You're super cute and nice, and judging from your profile, you're the all-American type that girls should be crazy about. :P I guess we'll have to shorten the name then. Maybe make it an acronym or something. CSP - Cute Single People?
Ryder: Sometimes stuff's just too complicated in person. It's kind of cool to just get to know someone without all the pressure, right? I'd definitely join The Cute Single People League, that should be a thing for sure.
Katie: Agreed. I could use a little less pressure where that's concerned. :) I vote we make it a thing then. We'll be the leaders and everyone can get a complimentary button when they're sworn in.
Ryder: You'll have to teach me your secrets, because I still haven't figured it out. I could ask you the same thing! I guess us cute people are just looking for each other.
Katie: Oh stop it! If I knew the secret, I wouldn't be coming to the internet to find decent guys to talk to. Maybe we should form a secret group for all the cute single people who can't find other cute single people in real life.
Ryder: Hey! No, I'm glad you added me. I'm kind of new to this whole thing, so I'm never sure how to talk to people without seeming creepy, so I'm glad you messaged me first :)
Katie: Same here! It took me like two weeks to figure out how to message people on here. :) So what is a cute guy like you doing on a dating website anyway?
NOTES: Between Marley's confession and texts with Ryder, Jake funnels his frustration into making a rather poor decision.
TRIGGER(S): n/a
Jake didn't have time to worry about whether the crack he heard when he threw his phone was the wall or the device itself. His blood was boiling, thoughts spiraling quickly out of control as Marley's words from earlier that day and Ryder's texts played over in his mind.
Ryder had kissed Marley.
Kissed her. His so-called best bro had kissed his girlfriend.
And Marley has said she let him.
Jake had thought Valentine's Day was a joke before, but now? It just felt so much more cruel. And pointless.
Had Ryder planned this? he wondered. A deep-seated insecurity nagged at him as though to confirm that yes, Ryder planned this whole thing all along. The romantic gestures, the over-the-top performance, the gifts, all the little suggestions he'd whispered in his ear? All part of some plot to undermine his relationship with Marley, and just when things between them were starting to get better. The very notion brought back uneasy memories involving seeing the two kiss backstage during Grease and fists flying in the choir room.Â
His hands seemed to itch as they curled into fists. What he wouldn't give...
If Ryder had been standing in his bedroom right then, Jake would've had him on the ground. He knew that much. But his anger ended up directed at the wall with a sound of frustration to match, leaving a dent in its wake. He turned away from the wall and started to pace, shaking out his hands as the feeling continued to course through him.
She doesn't really love you, his mind taunted him. She let him kiss her! What does that say about the two of you?
His rage took a bit of an explosive turn again as he kicked his dresser, knocking over a lamp in the process, which popped and sparked as the bulb shattered upon contact with the ground. His hands raked over his head as he moved away, breathing harshly.
It's your fault. You trusted him. You trusted her. Where does trust get you? Hurt. Thrown away like garbage. Even she realizes that he's the logical choice. Golden boy on the football team. And what are you? Some punk who can dance. A flirt. Can't even figure out how to fucking do Valentine's Day right without help.
The more his thoughts cycled, the more his rage boiled, and the more his room started to reflect this - sheets pulled off the bed and left in a crumpled heap on the floor, posters torn off the wall, the cufflinks Marley had gifted him tossed across the room. It seemed like all he could do to funnel his anger was break things, destroy them. Kind of symbolic for how he felt right then, as cliched and stupid as that sounded.
He has to pay. He has to fucking pay. He can't get away with pulling shitty stunts like this.
Still breathing heavily, Jake made his way back across the room to turn on his laptop, the moment becoming a bit of a haze for him as he opened up an internet browser and typed in a website to pull up. OkCupid or some dumb shit. Whatever dating site Ryder had been talking his ear off about the previous week. He couldn't really understand the logic behind it or how it was going to make him feel better in the long run, but rage didn't leave room for reason.Â
Rage instead allowed him to make quite possibly the shittiest dating profile known to man.
It was like the information flowed from his fingertips, one things flowing seamlessly into the next. Name. Age. Location. Interests. Little things piecing together until a finished product was staring right back at him.
Katie.
Who the fuck was Katie? Jake didn't know yet, but he'd already decided that Ryder would know. And not just that he would know about 'Katie' existing somewhere out there in cyberspace. He would also know what it was like to get fucked over, over a girl no less. Soon enough, he would know the exact rage and inner turmoil Jake was having to go through right then. And it was with that impulse and lust for vengeance that he looked up Ryder's profile and sent his friend request as 'Katie'.
No one messes with Jake Puckerman and gets away with it, he thought to himself, jaw clenched tight as he sat back and waited.
Ryder: I'll make it up to you, I swear. And I won't be around Marley alone or anything. I'm trying to get rid of the feelings, come on man, I even told you about the online dating thing.
Ryder: I'm doing my best. Just give me another chance. Please, Jake, you're my best friend at McKinley. I can't deal with you being mad at me.
Ryder: Wait, are we talking about the same thing? Because I wasn't sure if Marley wanted to tell you, so I didn't want to like... tell you first and make it seem like I was trying to break you guys up if that's not what she wanted.
Ryder: Wait, crap, I really hope we're talking about the same thing, because now if we're not I kind of told you whether she wanted to or not.
tangentwithtanner
andulkaphoto
areudirty
2087
stormborns