[loveydoveykirk]

why is james bond’s most famous line “bond. james bond.” he’s a fucking spy

[loveydoveykirk]

is batman’s most famous line “i’m bruce wayne”? no it’s fucking “i’m batman” bc he understands the basic concept of the word secret. fuck.

[writing-prompt-s]

After Lucifer was kicked out of Heaven, he decided to make his own paradise. Both compete to have the best afterlife, sadly you lived a sin-free life and got sent to Heaven. God is throwing a very boring, sin-free party. You spend your time trying to get kicked out so you can go to Hell.

[writing-prompt-s]

[i-justreally-like-cats-okay]

[cutethingsforcats]

[friendly-animals]

(Source)

[b00bconnoisseur]

@goodiebluebox

[sun-shine-disguise]

baby!!

@secretgayygent look at the baby!!!!

[secretgayygent]

!!!

[friendly-animals]

(Source)

[dailyblep]

Gurtie does a blop

[otaku-bartender]

CoNsiSteNcY

You’ll find your style.

Just keep drawing.

[killowave]

[lubricates]

good vibe

[todaysbird]

crows have been documented holding ‘funerals’ for many years. however, researchers suggest that they may not be mourning; evidence indicates that crows may be examining the body & surrounding area for potential threats to the rest of the flock.

source: (x)

[darkestelemental616]

So it’s not a funeral…

…….it’s a fucking autopsy and criminal investigation.

You might even call it

a murder investigation.

[manie-sans-delire-x]

[puddle-of-awesomeness]

Caw and Order

[catpda]

how can ppl say cats dont have feelings like. 

when my cat got deadly sick she refused to eat a single thing and it had been days but when i started crying she ate just a little bit, and upon seeing how happy it made me, kept doing it whenever she could.

now whenever im sad or crying she finds wherever i am with a mouthful of food and eats the pieces one by one, every time looking up at me making sure i was watching her eat it all because she knew it made me happy. and it DOES make me happy

i love cats!!! 

[catpda]

im so glad my little Foofy has touched everyone’s hearts… she luvs you all

[yeeyee-imbi]

I legit cried reading this.

[kirschade]

Peter, v-logging with his phone camera: Hi I’m Spi- I mean, Peter Parker, and today we’re going to witness firsthand people’s reactions after they’re told they have big dick energy. Let’s go!

Peter: What’s up, Thor. Dude, I just wanted you to know that you radiate big dick energy today.

Thor: God of thunder in the streets, god of big dick in the sheets, I suppose.

Peter, checking to see if he’s still recording then proceeding to give a thumbs up: I stan so hard. Legends only.

Peter, bumping into Steve reading the paper: Cap! Ah, have a moment? Word on the street is that you have big dick energy. Thoughts?

Steve, choking on his coffee: I-I guess the serum did have… its effects…

Peter: Oh my god.

Peter, finding Bucky watering flowers: Hey, man. Love what you did with your hair today, may I enlighten you on the fact that you have, putting it modestly, very big dick energy?

Bucky, looking into the camera like he’s on the office: …Parker what the hell.

Peter, breaking into the sanctum: Wow doctor, looks like you got a super serious case of chronic big dick energy there.

Strange: Listen. There’s kinetic, potential, thermal, chemical, electrical, even the vague concept of dark energy. But there is no big dick or whatever you just—

Peter: You’re no fun.

Peter, after buying a plane ticket and flying to Wakanda unsupervised: As king and black panther, your highness, your reign is supreme and so is your big dick energy.

T'challa, amidst a breakdown: Noo!!! Stop!! You and Shuri, I am begging you, please, I have no idea what that means!!!!

Peter, approaching Tony relaxing on a lounge chair: Now for The Man. The one and only, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Mr. Stark, are you aware you have big dick energy?

Tony, lowering his shades: Kid, I invented big dick energy.

Peter, tearing up: I know.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Cinnamon is just delicious sawdust.

[angstytwat]

… No?

[duskpunkzebra]

It’s true! Cinnamon (or more commonly cassia because it’s cheaper) is the bark from trees of the Cinnamomum family. It curls up when it’s been peeled and dried, thus cinnamon sticks. But we grind it down to use it, so it’s pretty much sawdust.

[angstytwat]

Well shoot. I guess you really do learn something new every day

[hargreevesdiegos]

Sir Reginald Hargreeves, a.k.a. The Monocle, an extraterrestrial disguised as a famous entrepreneur, adopts seven children, and prepares them to save the world from an unspecified threat as the Umbrella Academy.

[talesofsymphoniac]

So this was fun and actually pretty accurate? I got “Casually feminine”

[ubymyrose]

Oh damn

[simkarta333]

Undifferentiated-Androgynous.

[archived-soladox]

:00

[invireso-deactivated20210105]

I am

princess™️

[joyriding-in-the-fandoms]

[dragonflystudi0s]

[dailypattondoodles]

[princeanxious]

Huh.

[theincediblesulk]

I’m…. okay then

[madly-handsome]

I’m very happy right now!!!!! 💖💖💖

[anxious-patton]

Apparently casually masculine. Neat.

[preached-the-devil-in-the-belfr]

[most-amazing-fuzzball]

[halliebearuniverse]

Rad.

[systlin]

I would like to thank my roomba for finding that one sock I’d lost under the couch, and then repeatedly headbutting my foot while chewing on it. 

Thank you little dude. 

[splinteredstar]

He wanted to make sure you saw it!

[systlin]

What can you give a roomba instead of treats to tell him that he’s a Good Boy

Asking for a friend

[systlin]

You know

I have a roomba

I have knives

I could

I could give him a knife

[kagekanecavi]

this seems like a spectacularly bad idea considering you started off talking about how he headbutts your foot

[systlin]

I didn’t say it needed to be a SHARP knife

I’ve got a rubber training knife we use in class for knife technique training

[systlin]

Excellent

[thebellwitchblog]

Something tells me that this wont end well for your ankles but I applaud your disaster decisions anyway

[systlin]

It’s just plastic, my Achilles tendons are safe. 

And it’s good training!

[dragona56]

Training for him to stab people or training for you to dodge?

[systlin]

Yes. 

[ponycamp]