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@hallways-better-twin
I’m just going to slap this together real quick for some… context…
Helen, the Distortion, at your service! I thought it fitting to create one of these ‘blog’ things… and besides, everyone else seems to be on here, so might as well have a new outlet to pester them when I feel like it :}
anyhow, that’s all! Buh-bye!
when i first entered the fandom i thought you transgendered into helen and were the same person
it’s true thats what happened
@hallways-better-twin i want you to see this
I think jon thought the same thing at first, didn't he? he was so convinced i was just you in another skin, it was quite entertaining. :}
hello, melanie! i doubt you know me, so let me introduce myself. i am michael, the distortion previous to helen! how are you doing?
- @michael-the-distortion-official
Oh, you're that Spiral bastard. I've heard about you. I'm just fuckin fine mate, just the usual inhuman boss and creepy fucking supernatural bullshit. What do you think?
oh, great. im glad you’re doing good. i realise finding out your boss is a monster can be hard for people ::)
That was sarcasm. Does being a monster mean you can't pick up sarcasm? Damn, mate. So, why're you bothering me?
must i require a reason?
I guess not. You just here to piss me off then?
not entirely.
@hallways-better-twin your friend is on here now!
they are? Oh hello Melanie :}
@melanie-king-offical
...hello, helen.
I… do hope my sibling wasn’t too much of a bother… there are quite a lot of him on this app, actually. It’s rather odd.
just about as much of a bother as the distortion tends to be. and I heard about that I think. Multiverse theory or something?
yes, something like that. Rather confusing, isn’t it? [the door grinned.] very on-brand for us.
Anyhow, what crazy shenanigans are you and the rest of the archive crew up to nowadays? I feel like it’s been ages since we last chatted :}
hello, melanie! i doubt you know me, so let me introduce myself. i am michael, the distortion previous to helen! how are you doing?
- @michael-the-distortion-official
Oh, you're that Spiral bastard. I've heard about you. I'm just fuckin fine mate, just the usual inhuman boss and creepy fucking supernatural bullshit. What do you think?
oh, great. im glad you’re doing good. i realise finding out your boss is a monster can be hard for people ::)
That was sarcasm. Does being a monster mean you can't pick up sarcasm? Damn, mate. So, why're you bothering me?
must i require a reason?
I guess not. You just here to piss me off then?
not entirely.
@hallways-better-twin your friend is on here now!
they are? Oh hello Melanie :}
@melanie-king-offical
...hello, helen.
I… do hope my sibling wasn’t too much of a bother… there are quite a lot of him on this app, actually. It’s rather odd.
hello, melanie! i doubt you know me, so let me introduce myself. i am michael, the distortion previous to helen! how are you doing?
- @michael-the-distortion-official
Oh, you're that Spiral bastard. I've heard about you. I'm just fuckin fine mate, just the usual inhuman boss and creepy fucking supernatural bullshit. What do you think?
oh, great. im glad you’re doing good. i realise finding out your boss is a monster can be hard for people ::)
That was sarcasm. Does being a monster mean you can't pick up sarcasm? Damn, mate. So, why're you bothering me?
must i require a reason?
I guess not. You just here to piss me off then?
not entirely.
@hallways-better-twin your friend is on here now!
they are? Oh hello Melanie :}
@melanie-king-offical
@therealestheadarchivist
"... I wish I could burn this one too, but that just feel wrong. It severely hurts my Eyes to look at, though."
i dont have anything to add. this is just brilliant.
[a wild Helen has appeared to bother the archive crew!!]
@hallways-better-twin
[Click]
[All of them stare, slack jawed, confused, and terrified. Tim gets to his senses first and steps in front of them all in a defensive stance. Martin doesn't move, but keeps an eye on the others, and his hands ball into fists. Sasha stares at Helen-- stern, with the slightest hint of curiosity behind that mask. Jon is attempting to hide his own fear behind a mask, but he cannot help but display his own curiosity.]
[the tall figure in front of them blinked, looking between the four in intrigue, slooooowly raising those sharp-fingered hands in a gesture of surrender and mild amusement.]
“Hey now, I’m not looking for trouble.” [Helen grinned, before adding on-] “that’s a lie, actually. I’m not looking for any trouble from you four. Do you mind if I sit down?”
[They all stare at each other, trying to come to a decision-- except Jon. He just speaks up.]
You can.
Jon!
[Helen can’t help but snicker at the assistants’s reaction, a sound that could only really be described as an ear-ringing mirage.]
“Really, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me. Have any of you met Michael yet? Or has that not happened?” [the walking headache asked.]
I... who?
Why would we know you?
[the thing in front of them completely ignored tim's question, tutting.] so that has not happened yet, then. hmm. timeline's being finnicky again i suppose... you'd think being an extra-dimensional monster would give me more control over that sort of thing... blumming evilcon messing with my turf...
What. Are. You.
[Martin frowns. There's a hint of frustration, initially, but it's gone as soon as came, replaced with nervousness.]
for an archivist, you’re not a very good listener, are you Jon? [it smiled, a headache-inducing grin that curled off infinitely and dragged across her face like a cartoon.] I just said I was an extra-dimensional monster. Helen, pleasure to meet you four. Again.
[Everyone winces at the laugh. Martin steps back, his expression tense.]
Again.
“Extra-dimensional monster” like that explains anything.
Christ…
I feel like it should explain much more than you’re letting it, Archivist. [the ‘Helen’ sighed, doing something that could be perceived as a face-palm.] there’s really not much I can do to make this easier for you, extra-dimensional monster is a pretty self-explanatory moniker…
[ugh, this was the Jon Michael had to work with? No wonder the previous distortion sort of gave up in the end and spelled everything out to him…]
[a wild Helen has appeared to bother the archive crew!!]
@hallways-better-twin
[Click]
[All of them stare, slack jawed, confused, and terrified. Tim gets to his senses first and steps in front of them all in a defensive stance. Martin doesn't move, but keeps an eye on the others, and his hands ball into fists. Sasha stares at Helen-- stern, with the slightest hint of curiosity behind that mask. Jon is attempting to hide his own fear behind a mask, but he cannot help but display his own curiosity.]
[the tall figure in front of them blinked, looking between the four in intrigue, slooooowly raising those sharp-fingered hands in a gesture of surrender and mild amusement.]
“Hey now, I’m not looking for trouble.” [Helen grinned, before adding on-] “that’s a lie, actually. I’m not looking for any trouble from you four. Do you mind if I sit down?”
[They all stare at each other, trying to come to a decision-- except Jon. He just speaks up.]
You can.
Jon!
[Helen can’t help but snicker at the assistants’s reaction, a sound that could only really be described as an ear-ringing mirage.]
“Really, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me. Have any of you met Michael yet? Or has that not happened?” [the walking headache asked.]
I... who?
Why would we know you?
[the thing in front of them completely ignored tim's question, tutting.] so that has not happened yet, then. hmm. timeline's being finnicky again i suppose... you'd think being an extra-dimensional monster would give me more control over that sort of thing... blumming evilcon messing with my turf...
What. Are. You.
[Martin frowns. There's a hint of frustration, initially, but it's gone as soon as came, replaced with nervousness.]
for an archivist, you’re not a very good listener, are you Jon? [it smiled, a headache-inducing grin that curled off infinitely and dragged across her face like a cartoon.] I just said I was an extra-dimensional monster. Helen, pleasure to meet you four. Again.
[a wild Helen has appeared to bother the archive crew!!]
@hallways-better-twin
[Click]
[All of them stare, slack jawed, confused, and terrified. Tim gets to his senses first and steps in front of them all in a defensive stance. Martin doesn't move, but keeps an eye on the others, and his hands ball into fists. Sasha stares at Helen-- stern, with the slightest hint of curiosity behind that mask. Jon is attempting to hide his own fear behind a mask, but he cannot help but display his own curiosity.]
[the tall figure in front of them blinked, looking between the four in intrigue, slooooowly raising those sharp-fingered hands in a gesture of surrender and mild amusement.]
“Hey now, I’m not looking for trouble.” [Helen grinned, before adding on-] “that’s a lie, actually. I’m not looking for any trouble from you four. Do you mind if I sit down?”
[They all stare at each other, trying to come to a decision-- except Jon. He just speaks up.]
You can.
Jon!
[Helen can’t help but snicker at the assistants’s reaction, a sound that could only really be described as an ear-ringing mirage.]
“Really, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me. Have any of you met Michael yet? Or has that not happened?” [the walking headache asked.]
I... who?
Why would we know you?
[the thing in front of them completely ignored tim's question, tutting.] so that has not happened yet, then. hmm. timeline's being finnicky again i suppose... you'd think being an extra-dimensional monster would give me more control over that sort of thing... blumming evilcon messing with my turf...
Hello Helen! How are you?
Oh, I’m just wonderful! I’ve been busy rearranging things in evilcon to mess with people >:3
hey do you know where's gertrude i want her to feed me to the distortion
… @hallways-better-twin is this you
anyways i dont know where gertrude is nor do i care. however i HOPE that shes in a coffin. not in a buried way though in a dead way.
no, that wasn’t me. Unfortunately your emotions about her keep bleeding into my halls, so I also rather dislike her.
ɦɛʟʟօ ɦɛʟɛռ! ɨ աǟֆ աօռɖɛʀɨռɢ ɨʄ ʏօʊ'ʋɛ ֆɛɛռ ƈ0ʟʟ1ռ (ʍʏ ʟǟքȶօք) ǟռʏաɦɛʀɛ? ɨ ֆȶɨʟʟ ɦǟʋɛ ʏɛȶ ȶօ ʄɨռɖ ɦɨʍ ɖɛֆքɨȶɛ ɦɨʍ ռօȶ ɮɛɨռɢ ɨռʋɨֆɨɮʟɛ. ł ₣ł₲ɄⱤɆĐ ł ØɄ₲Ⱨ₮ ₮Ø ₳₴₭ ₳ⱠⱠ Ø₣ ₮ⱧɆ ₴₱łⱤ₳Ⱡ ₳V₳₮₳Ɽ₴ ł ₭₦Ø₩ Ø₣ ฿Ɇ₣ØⱤɆ ₵ⱧɆ₵₭ł₦₲ ɆⱠ₴Ɇ₩ⱧɆⱤɆ.
hmm… nope, I haven’t seen it, sorry. I wasn’t aware we could interact with technology without just… breaking it.
excuse you? the better distortion? hah. liar. we all know that i’m the better one.
- @michael-the-distortion-official
you can’t prove that :}
should’ve thought of the @ first, Michael. By the way, how’ve you been?
i’ve been good. you?
as decent as a sapient door can be, I suppose. Have you seen what they’re doing at our old ritual site yet?
no, what are they doing?
something called… ah, spookycon? Evilcon?
you know, like those anime conventions, but for avatars. They’re hosting it at Sannicov land for… whatever reason.
oh, that! yes, i forgot that is where it’s being hosted.
we didn’t get invites :(
it is at our house and we didn’t get invites.
I’m planning on causing some chaos as payback.
would you not cause chaos anyway?
Michael, stop speaking truth, you know what happened last time.
excuse you? the better distortion? hah. liar. we all know that i’m the better one.
- @michael-the-distortion-official
you can’t prove that :}
should’ve thought of the @ first, Michael. By the way, how’ve you been?
i’ve been good. you?
as decent as a sapient door can be, I suppose. Have you seen what they’re doing at our old ritual site yet?
no, what are they doing?
something called… ah, spookycon? Evilcon?
you know, like those anime conventions, but for avatars. They’re hosting it at Sannicov land for… whatever reason.
oh, that! yes, i forgot that is where it’s being hosted.
we didn’t get invites :(
it is at our house and we didn’t get invites.
I’m planning on causing some chaos as payback.
would you not cause chaos anyway?
Michael, stop speaking truth, you know what happened last time.
excuse you? the better distortion? hah. liar. we all know that i’m the better one.
- @michael-the-distortion-official
you can’t prove that :}
should’ve thought of the @ first, Michael. By the way, how’ve you been?
i’ve been good. you?
as decent as a sapient door can be, I suppose. Have you seen what they’re doing at our old ritual site yet?
no, what are they doing?
something called… ah, spookycon? Evilcon?
you know, like those anime conventions, but for avatars. They’re hosting it at Sannicov land for… whatever reason.
oh, that! yes, i forgot that is where it’s being hosted.
we didn’t get invites :(
it is at our house and we didn’t get invites.
I’m planning on causing some chaos as payback.
excuse you? the better distortion? hah. liar. we all know that i’m the better one.
- @michael-the-distortion-official
you can’t prove that :}
should’ve thought of the @ first, Michael. By the way, how’ve you been?
i’ve been good. you?
as decent as a sapient door can be, I suppose. Have you seen what they’re doing at our old ritual site yet?
no, what are they doing?
something called… ah, spookycon? Evilcon?
you know, like those anime conventions, but for avatars. They’re hosting it at Sannicov land for… whatever reason.
excuse you? the better distortion? hah. liar. we all know that i’m the better one.
- @michael-the-distortion-official
you can’t prove that :}
should’ve thought of the @ first, Michael. By the way, how’ve you been?
i’ve been good. you?
as decent as a sapient door can be, I suppose. Have you seen what they’re doing at our old ritual site yet?
