KAGOME HIGURASHI

heavily based on the InuYasha manga.

[sailermoon]

[hamayas]

starter for @thesilvermoonrays

Tick, tick, tick.

The sound of the second hand clicking down over and over again was incessant in her head. There was a usual stillness in the Higurashi household. It was the first thing Kagome noticed when she returned to her time. A letter on the fridge detailed a field trip Sōta had taken with her mother and grandfather acting as chaperones for the entire class. It was rather lonely here without them. She’d hoped she’d see them before she went back, but her agreement with Inuyasha dictated that she was to come back after two days. The letter said they’d be gone an entire 7 days.

Mid way through the first day, Kagome began to feel a little under the weather. By the time the third day rolled around, she was almost entirely bed ridden. Though she wasn’t sure how or when she caught the flu, it had certainly begun to spread throughout her body, hence her lack of strength. Of course she had to get out of bed to grab the essentials—tissues, water bottles, an ice pack for her fever—but for the most part she remained tucked away beneath her blankets.

She did leave her window open just in case there was a visit from the not-so-impatient Inuyasha. It allowed her to rest much easier knowing that he could just enter her room as needed without her having to struggle to walk downstairs to unlock the front door. There wasn’t any medicine in the house. She checked several times while she was still in the beginning stages of this cold, or flu, or whatever this illness was. She didn’t really how much it genuinely helped with symptom relief.

Needless to say, she was absolutely miserable in her current state. And the sound of her alarm clock was driving her mad. Her head was so clogged up in mucus that it sounded much louder and annoying than normal. She nearly threw it against the wall on more than one occasion. This time was no different, but for some reason the urge was much stronger now.

Her eyes shifted towards the clock, the light nearly extinguished from her pale blue-grey hues. The frown that marred her face growing deeper with each tick She reached her right hand over towards the bedside table, grabbing nothing but air several times until she finally found something concrete. It didn’t feel like a table. The texture was smooth and silky. It had a fluffy familiarity to it that distracted her from the task at hand. Soon she found triangular ears? She assumed it was nothing more than Buyo, her oversized cat, hanging around her bed. She didn’t mind it. In fact, she was happy to have the company. Little did she know, Buyo was curled up at the foot of her bed. These ears belonged to another.

[osuwariis]

͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏ @hamayas || plotted starter

❝ Still nothin', huh? ❞

Barely heard over the cry of cicada, although more pressing things ought to have been running through Kagome's mind. She'd stolen off to practice her archery, and expectantly the hanyou wasn't far behind.

Tender as he could be to her current predicament -- that being vulnerability while her spiritual prowess was being tested, the two of them separated from the others as they were meant to set off to seek temples for prayer -- he simply couldn't help his haughty comments of, ❝ See, so you're better off not getting too far away from where I can see you. What're you gonna' do if someone attacks? ❞

He means only to express his concern, but typically struggles to soften his edges, least of all during uncertainty.

@hamayas

[hamayas]

❝ ... ❞

her silence was perhaps more telling than words could have expressed. kagome lacked her usual cheerfulness to lighten the mood. melancholy clung to her very being. it overflowed to the point where it now seeped into the air around her. while she couldn't shake the feeling, she didn't let it interfere with her training. she had something to prove and so she pressed on by letting loose yet another arrow devoid of her magical spiritual power.

❝ i—❞ she released a deep, exasperated sigh before continuing. ❝ i don't know, inuyasha. ❞

she was well aware of his intentions, but it hardly made a difference. it did nothing to prevent her from feeling like a complete and utter failure. in the end she couldn't help but to compare herself to kikyo, who seemed to grasp these concepts as if they were just second nature to her. kikyo made it look so easy and yet here she was struggling to understand the very basics of controlling her powers. it was frustrating. deep down she knew she could never hold a candle to her predecessor and that's what really bothered her.

❝ i'll just keep at it. i can do this... just give me a little more time please. ❞

[shcrdcdlifc]

Starter for @hamayas 🏹

Kohaku was searching around for some jewel shards that might be nearby as he was still under Naraku’s control, he was wandering further before sensing a presence near where he was.

His heart rate increased as he moves into the nearby shrubbery, peering out a little as he spotted a black haired woman there. Why did she look familiar to him?

He tilts his head before the jewel shard in his back reacts, he gulped as he strains his energy to keep it down as he didn’t want to be noticed. He stays absolutely quiet, body trembling like a leaf.

[hamayas]

kagome didn't need to see him enter the bush to know he was hiding there. she could sense the jewel shard in his back from miles away. in fact, the gang came here specifically to see if they could locate his whereabouts after another tragic incident took place in a nearby village. once they received a description of the culprit, they knew precisely who it was. sango was devastated, of course, but what could she really do other than find him and try to break naraku's spell on him. it was why they set out here in the first place. kagome just so happened to be the best at honing in on his location. still, it was dangerous. there was no telling which version of him she would get so she made sure to keep her distance.

❝ kohaku? is that you? ❞ she called out, her eyes centered directly on the bush he was hiding away in.

[whirling-fangs]

Now, Inosuke didn't believe in any sort of gods... but if he did, this would certainly have been a gift sent from the heavens!

He had gnawed on everything that looked even remotely edible. The abandoned wrappers all had suspisciously teeth-shaped marks on them, where the rabid creature had tried to take a bite, before he'd realized that the delicious part was inside the wrapper.

He had torn the bag of chips apart like an eviscerated beast, and devoured its contents with great shovelings of both hands. He only looked up from his feast when Kagome pointed her bow his way - eerily, he reacted a split second before she even spoke up.

"Hah? You think you can kill me with just one of those pointy things?" The monster scoffed. His head rose up, the boar's neck bending backwards at an impossible angle... only to reveal another face underneath. An incredibly pretty, human-like face.

"If you didn't want me to take your food, you shouldn't have left it lying there!" He grabbed a handful of chips, and waved them in her direction. "What the hell are these things, anyway?! They're delicious! I've never tasted anything like this before! Gimme more!!"

[hamayas]

when met with such a dismissive response, kagome's tempered flared. her brows knitted together to form a deep v in the center of her forehead. she intended to stand her ground despite his over confidence but when she saw the boars head spin, all the color drained from her face. in her panic, she let out a tiny shriek and loosed the arrow she had docked in her bow. thankfully her concentration was broken so the arrow lacked any spiritual powers. it simply made a flimsy arc and landed in the ground next to him. a hand flew to her chest in an effort to calm her raging heartbeat. when the miko finally noticed his 'true' face, she was less fearful but still weary of his intent. he was a demon of some kind, that much she could sense, but was he a good demon? that was yet to be determined. in her experience thus far, the pretty ones almost exclusively had the worst personalities. so far, he has proven to be in line with that statistic. It would be wise to play it cool, but something about him just ticked her off. she couldn't hold her tongue any longer.

❝ are you crazy? you can't just steal people's stuff then expect them to give you more. go find your own food, you thief! ❞ with her bow still in hand, kagome huffed and stomped up to him. she tried to snatch her bag of chips from his grubby little hands.

❝ give it back. it's not yours. ❞

[thesilvermoonrays]

@hamayas

That enough made him freeze. He knew she had different assortments of something, it's not like noodles alone had a scent. You had to season them. But it wasn't discovering those scents were different flavors of ramen cups.

...Nor the newfound discovery that it could come in different flavors. All that did was make his stomach growl in anticipation. There was something more important to her words than anything that could be likened to food.

❝ i told my mom how much you like these and she gave me a whole case of them with a ton of different flavors. You’ll have to tell me which one is your favorite so I can let her know for next time. Don’t forget, okay? ❞

"Eh...?"

Why had she told her mother about his favorite snacks? And even if that could be ignored, what compelled her to want to know things like that? And another thing, why was she acting like he hadn't just walked away with no regard for whether or not he was being followed?

Why did it make him anxious? Being afraid of your own friend?

Or maybe it was afraid of believing in a feeling. A fear of a different kind of unknown. An oxymoron. How badly he didn't want to be alone, how afraid he was of not being alone.

...He'd really been an asshole today, hadn't he? The walk up to her was silent. No more stomping his feet, Inuyasha was doing everything he could to keep his expression stoic, yet still... it held something more soft, all over again.

"...I'll do that. Thanks, Kagome."

No hesitation (or effort), the hanyou hoisted her bag over his shoulder, as though it weighed as much as a feather. Then, from by her side, to in front of her, as he crouched down. Back to his usual tone of voice, Inuyasha prepared himself for a run.

"Being this close to a water source is begging for somethin' to find ya. Ain't usually a good somethin', either. Get on my back,"

Looking over his shoulder, a familiar smirk revealing one of his fangs, golden eyes illuminated by the setting sun.

Sunset didn't shine as brightly as the afternoon, and yet, the muted golden rays still kept the world lit. Just differently.

"I'll find somewhere with some kinda cover, works both ways in case it rains, too." Now was when something more triumphant came to his voice, gaze focusing on the horizon. "We're eatin' like nobles tonight!"

If ramen cups really did come in different flavors, every single flavor that existed had to be tried at least once. Maaaaaybe twice, first impressions weren't everything when it came to food that wasn't too strong.

[hamayas]

once again, kagome was left stunned not only his expression of gratitude, but also his overall positive demeanor shift. she could hardly believe her eyes. was this really the same inuyasha she’d been working with for the past few weeks? something changed in him and it was her hope that it would become a permanent one especially now that she had a better understanding of him. It was true that he was a little rough around the edges but it was her firm belief that deep down inside, inuyasha was a good person. all he needed was a little push in the right direction. without realizing it, the corners of her lips lifted into a brilliant smile. She was only half listening at his explanation of a better camp ground. It wasn’t like she had much experience in determining those things anyways. she trusted him to make the best decision so when he prompted her to climb on his back she complied.

❝ okay, i’m ready when you are. ❞ the miko cooed once her arms were firmly planted on his shoulders.

her good mood was further solidified by his joke about eating like nobles. she couldn’t stop the giggle from erupting. it was just so amusing to see him get so excited from such a small commodity. if only he knew this meal was perhaps the furthest thing from what true nobles ate. it would be her little secret. as long as it made him happy, that’s all that really mattered.

❝ yeah! ramen, ramen, ramen! ❞ with each chant, kagome pumped her fist into the air.

[osuwariis]

❝ You're right. It's not missing, just hiding. And only a coward would hide, so that it could wait to strike when everyone's vulnerable and asleep. ❞ Are they still talking about a spider? Or some sort of assassin???

Regardless, Inuyasha gives his arm a roll and pops his neck as he goes marching boldly into the fray. ❝ Hah. I have my way of dealing with cowards. ❞

SHWOOSH! Tessaiga is pulled free from it's confinement. The fang could barely fit within the teeny tiny room as it was, now the two were utterly cramped when he held the thing high over his head.

❝ I'll just force it to come out! Stand back, Kagome! ❞

...He really wasn't going to be any help.

[hamayas]

kagome grew increasingly silent as he rambled off his depiction of a coward. She couldn't tell if he was talking about the spider anymore either. after all, those same qualities seemed to apply to her in this very situation as well. she was also trying to hide, but not to assassinate anyone. she was just really scared of spiders!

❝ b-be careful, inuyasha, ❞ she called after him once he left her side.

It didn't really click in her head that she was left alone to fend for herself until she felt something crawling on the back of her leg. she shrieked, loudly, and made a run for it. only, there wasn't really anywhere to run. instead, she just ran straight into inuyasha's back, knocking them both to the ground in a heaping pile.

❝ it's got meeee. i'm gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee. ❞

[earnednight]

he’s  waiting  her  out  ;  letting  the  onslaught  of  her  irritation  wash  over  him.  all  &  all,  her  response  wasn’t  unjustified,  it  was  natural  given  the  night  &  impromptu  swan  dive  she’d  taken  just  a  few  minutes  prior.  frankly,  given  that  fact,  he’s  surprised  she’s  not  more  riled  up  than  this.  slowly,  does  nightwing  raise  his  hands,  palms  facing  her  ;  a  means  to  placate.  they  stay  there,  hovering  between  them  &  when  her  tirade  finally  quells,  he  opens  his  mouth  to  respond.  only  for  the  domino  obscuring  his  eyes  to  arch  with  the  way  in  which  his  eyebrows  incredulously  shoot  toward  his  hairline.  

  pew  pew  —    ?  

oh,  she  was  funny.  unintentionally  so  &  wing  works  so  damn  hard  not  to  out  right  laugh.  “we’re  not  on  a  roof.”  he  starts,    bobbing  his  hands  once  ;  he  promptly  reaches  for  her  hands  &  carefully  works  to  retract  her  fingers  from  the  kevlar  of  his  suit  —  mildly  impressed  she’d  managed  such  a  terrifying    hold  on  the  material  to  begin  with. giving  her  hands  a  reassuring  squeeze  (  a  way  to  broadcast  that  he  had  no  intention  in  just  abandoning  her  when  she  so  clearly  wasn’t  a  gothamite  )      before  guiding  her  in  a  gentle  spin  ;    until  she’s  facing  the  same  public  access  he  was.  the  very  one  that  would  lead  her  back  to  the  lower  levels  of  gotham's  public  transit  hub.  “but;  i  could  web-sling  you  to  –  “  he  pauses  ;  considering  “somewhere  you’re  more  comfortable  with?” 

[hamayas]

❝ eh? we're not? ❞ kagome inquired with a slight tilt of her head. there was genuine confusion laced in her tone. she takes in her surroundings once more, eyes darting about to absorb every detail available. It didn't take long to determine that he was indeed telling the truth. it turns out she was just a little discombobulated from all that crazy web-slinging.

❝ whoops, sorry about that, uh... hm, come to think of it, i don't even know your name. ❞ a giggle escaped her and with it, her anger dissipated into thin air. she was in a much better mood now that her life was no longer in danger.

❝ wait, let me guess... it's birdman, isn't it? but if you web sling, wouldn't make you spiderman... but that's clearly a bird on your chest, hmm... ❞ she's mostly just rambling, but only because this was the first positive interaction she's had since coming here and she still didn't even really know where here was. the reality of the situation sunk in much deeper at his question. she didn't know how to answer. Her face grew somber.

❝ hey, can i ask you something? ❞

[mustardyellowsunshine]

It's giving "just saw another dog across the street."

[hamayas]

@osuwariis | continued from here.

the color drained from her face in an instant. her head ticked in his direction until it just locked in place. she looked as if she was about to scream bloody mercy once again but caught herself before it could be unleashed. her goal was to remain as quiet as possible. she was somehow under the impression that the spider could hear her and would attack her at any given moment if she made too much noise.

❝ what do you mean it’s missing?! spiders don’t just go missing, inuyasha! ❞ kagome whispered hotly, jumping to her feet.

the girl shuffled over to him and clung to the sleeve of his robe. with every step he took, she followed. they were safer with numbers and if she actually was attacked, she hoped he would save her before she was bitten—or just put her down as necessary. she didn’t want to turn into a spider! she shuttered at the thought of it.

❝ we have to find it before it finds us. i’ll never be able to sleep with that thing on the loose. and when we find it, bam! you slay it and i'll find a hiding place...❞

❝ what ? i am not going near that creepy crawler. ❞

[hamayas]

@whirling-fangs

kagome had set her book bag down for 5 minutes tops only to return to a complete and utter mess. article of clothing, hair care products, medical supplies, and a couple of discarded food wrappers were dispersed across the grass in a reckless manner. the scene nearly brought a tear to her eye. she'd just came back from her time too! all that hard work went right down the drain. on the bright side, she was spared of searching for the culprit. after all, he was still at the crime scene! a giant boar’s head peeked over the edge of a bag of potato chips. it's vibrant blue eyes were crazed and menacing. And he was looking right at her. it was absolutely terrifying!

while she still had the chance, kagome nocked an arrow and steadied her bow. though she was trying to appear brave, her voice quivered when she spoke.

❝ t-take one step closer and i—i'll shoot. i mean it. i’m an expert archer.❞

[hamayas]

𝐨𝐨𝐜: ah, sorry for the absence. i caught a cold last week so i'm catching back up on things now. @whirling-fangs i'm still working on your starter but it should be coming pretty soon. ♥ i hope you've all been well.

[hamayas]

@earnednight | continued from here

❝ what? no, i'm not good here. i don't even know where i am! are you really just going to leave me on someone's rooftop? take.me.home. ❞ she wished she could laugh at what she normally would've perceived to be a good joke, but her anger level was about 5'3 feet tall at the moment. He had saved her from a gang of thugs, sure, but he hardly earned the hero moniker if his intentions was to just leave her stranded in the middle of nowhere. kagome did not release him for a second. her hands were still curled around the tiny bit of spandex on his chest that she was able to gather. she wasn't going to get off the 'nightwing-express' until she reached an acceptable destination and this was not it. what happened to good customer service?

❝ take me back. i can find my way back to the dorms from there. i have two classes tomorrow morning. I need my rest. ❞ she didn't dare to release him in fear that he might escape so she used her hand to motion towards his wing thingy.

❝ go on. do your web swinging. pew pew. let's go. ❞

[thesilvermoonraysarchive2]

❝ i'm thankful for that. ❞

Thankful...? That wasn't what he expected to hear. Even if by some chance she stubbornly refused to leave for some reason she chose to be stubborn, try to force him to change his feelings about the world. About himself, he hadn't in his wildest imagination expected her to be thankful for something that must have made him sound like a whiny kid. Inuyasha wasn't a kid anymore, hadn't been for over a century. He'd reached adulthood years before he'd even met Kikyō.

Eyebrows were furrowed. Kagome was trying to get at something with this, wasn't she? What did she want now? Why was she trying to be nice... like this...?

❝ i'm not going anywhere...❞

Was it instinct that made his gaze reach such an intensity?

No, instinct didn't work that way. Instinct was how you survived. Survive, and kill whatever challenged you. Knock some sense into whatever stood in your way. Inuyasha had spoken of himself as naturally as breathing. This was the first glimpse he'd yet given of what fear lurked in the depths of those golden eyes.

❝i just hope you think about what i said too. you're worth more than you realize. ❞

Crushing pain, that lacked any physical wound to show for it. This was where instinct screamed to kick in. Raise his voice, yell at her, say every cruel word he knew. That anger was likely evident on his face, too. Ears were raised, alert, arms stiff at his sides.

And then he took a deep inhale through his nose.

Kagome's scent alone calmed that rage. Even if she hadn't spoken so gently, her scent would have been enough right now. That was why Inuyasha's face held an uncharacter softness. Eyes locked, for what felt like an eternity to him, even though it was mere seconds.

"...I'll think about it." Glance shifted downwards. ""What you said."

A few more seconds, before that silver hair of his whipped around with the rest of his body. The hanyō was walking away again. This time, Inuyasha was fully expecting to be followed. It wasn't to get away, she'd calmed the storm for now. The words that followed with each soft footstep, it came out in his usual blunt nature.

"Keh." Without pausing in movement, arms settled in the sleeves of his suikan. "But only 'çause I'm so hungry right now. I don't feel like arguing. I know ya brought the good stuff, been smellin' it in your bag all day."

Ears swiveled subtly. Listening, to make sure she really was coming with.

She's made her choice. She said she wasn't going anywhere.

And maybe someday he'd have it in him to tell her that meant way more than anything else.

[hamayas]

judging from the look on his face, he wasn’t too pleased with what she had to say. she was mentally preparing for a backlash and already had a few lines loaded up in her verbal arsenal to spout at him if he still chose to dismiss her but thankfully that never came to pass. inuyasha’s response was pleasantly surprising. she was sure she’d had to go back and forth with him a little while longer before he got it through his thick skull that they were actually on the same side.

the intensity swirling in those golden hues cue her in on his state of mind. kagome could still feel her heart thumping in her chest now. she could never pinpoint what he was thinking in those moments but she could sense that he was softening to her and that alone was enough to wreak havoc on her poor unguarded heart. eventually she had to just tear her eyes away from him since she could feel her cheeks warming into a faint blush. she thanked kami for the change of subject as it allowed her to revert back to her normal self.

❝ o-oh, ❞ Kagome coughed and tried again, this time with less shaking in her voice.

“oh, yeah. I totally forgot to tell you.” she exclaimed, dropping her enormous book bag on the ground. She lifted the top flap and began to rummage through it until she found what she was looking for: a cup of ramen. She shook the cup from side to side and held it out for him to grab.

❝ i told my mom how much you like these and she gave me a whole case of them with a ton of different flavors. You’ll have to tell me which one is your favorite so I can let her know for next time. Don’t forget, okay? ❞

she glanced about, clearly looking for something. by now he had gained quite a bit of distance from where she dropped her bag. her mind was already on the next thing. with the sun beginning to set it was time to start thinking about what they should do next.

❝ should we set up camp here? i can start boiling water for your ramen. we can shard rumor hunting in the morning. i doubt we'll get much further tonight.❞

[feudalfang]

“like  a  —  ”  but  he  pauses,  mouth  snapping  shut  with  an  audible  click  —  throat  suddenly  dry.    he  could  practically  hear  the  shift  &  grind  of  her  vertebra   as  she  rounded  on  him  &  that  tone  of  hers?  the  short  implication  that  lingered  just  a  little  too  sharply  leaves  him  hesitating  ever  so  slightly.  

he  should  reconsider  this  whole  interaction,  leave  her  alone  to  stew,  or  whatever  it  was  she  did  to  unwind  &  yet,  for  some  reason,  the  thought  of  leaving  her  in  this  state  made  his  claws  itch ;  his  fangs  ache.  he  wanted  to  help  —  wants  to  help.  but  —  

but  that’s  never  been  his  strong  suit.  &  given  the  fact  that  she  wouldn’t  even  confide  in  him,  he  had  no  idea  what  to  do  here.  

“this  is  stupid.”  is  what  he  finally  decides  on.  giving  a  pointed  sniff  as  he  settles  back  on  his  haunches.  if  she  wouldn’t  tell  him  what  was  eating  her,  then  the  next  logical  step  would  be  to  let  it  go.  right?  “yer  being  too  sensitive  —  i  don’t  see  what  the  big  deal  is.” 

[hamayas]

❝ this is stupid...? you're the one who— ❞ her smile is wiped clear from her face. the facade has fallen just as quickly as it rose. her brows furrowed, created a deep groove in the center of her forehead. anger was practically bursting from every pore of her skin. it was unleashed with a firm stomp.

❝ i'm more than just a 'shard detector' or some replacement for your dead ex-girlfriend. stop treating me like i'm beneath you. who died and make you emperor? ❞

her hands, which were planted firmly on her hips while she was rattling off his transgressions, fell back into place at her sides. it felt kind of nice to be the one blowing off a little steam. she thought she could hold it in and just continue on with the day but it kept nagging and nagging at her. his prodding was also very unhelpful. and now it was time to put the cherry on top.

❝ i'm going home. ❞ she said, turning on her heel. when she said she would help put the shikon jewel back together, she didn't know it meant she would have to suffer through inuyasha's bad attitude. she wasn't sure how much longer she could put up with this. it was absolutely ridiculous!

[thesilvermoonraysarchive2]

...Should have expected that.

"Idiot."

Always so... pushy. Was that even the right word? It was the right word, wasn't it? Pushy.

Caring enough to keep pushing, in a way so gentle that his heart calmed during moments like these. In a way that kept him from shutting off entirely, pushing without the force that would leave him baring his fangs. Inuyasha hadn't been trying to hurt her at all, that's why he'd stopped walking the moment she got by his side.

The one place he felt he really had. Being by her side. It didn't change the depth of his insecurities, strengthened by being told he was wrong for his own feelings on himself. That was how he'd perceived those words. Words that were no reflection on himself at all, Kagome had only told him what she thought.

And he felt ready to fight her thoughts. Defend his own.

...He couldn't even look her in the eye right now. How pathetic. Eyebrows furrowing, Inuyasha turned to the side. Not facing her, not turned away from her. Somewhere in between.

"You're not gonna drop it, are you? Ya said you wanted to know some of the things I think about, so I told ya. If you don't like it, go."

Maybe when he became a full yōkai, these raging feelings would end. This had been a part of him for over a century. A part of him no one listened to. Inuyasha wasn't any less himself right now, if Kagome hadn't spoken those words with a gentle firmness, instinct would be to raise his claws.

Not that he ever would. Not to her. Never again. He still hadn't forgotten the day they met. A deep feeling of guilt, feelings beneath the surface that left a desire to level a forest just to get out what was currently a silent anger.

How else could anyone deal with these things? You had to be forceful.

Show everyone who was top dog.

But this time, it wasn't a demand. Inuyasha hadn't demanded she leave him alone, as he always did. This time, he gave Kagome a choice.

And he'd already decided in his head what choice she'd make.

[hamayas]

kagome winced at the insult. it didn't matter who it was directed—himself or her—the effect was the same; it hurt. her attempt to spin the narrative into a more positive perspective was thwarted at the root. when she began this conversation, she never imagined it would turn out like this. who knew he would be so stubborn even at the expense of his self-image. just when she thought she knew the ins and outs of inuyasha, he revealed a deeper, complicated layer of himself. he was right about one thing: she wasn't going to drop it. enough was enough. she stepped in front of him, intent on garnering his attention so he could see how serious she truly was.

❝ i'm thankful for that. ❞ she paused for an extended period to allow her words to linger in the air. she prayed her gratitude would be conveyed properly with the additional time. they had a way of talking past one another; it often consisted of only hearing the last bit the other had to say versus the full message. she didn't want her words to be misconstrued, not this time.

❝ i'm not going anywhere... but we can talk about something else if that's what you want. i don't want to push the subject. i just hope you think about what i said too. you're worth more than you realize. ❞

[thesilvermoonraysarchive2]

@hamayas Said: "I don't think you're any of the things you say you are."

Dealing with Self Loathing

Deep inhale through the nose.

Figures she'd choose words he couldn't refute. Free to call her opinions idiotic, but at the end of the day, he had no control over what anyone thought. A sense of conflict, just talking about this kind of thing was probably one of his dumbest ideas. She was the one who said she wanted to know bitter times, and sad times. That she wanted to hear how he thought. So he'd stepped off the ledge, and told her some of it.

And she's disagreeing with him.

All it left was an unusual anxiety in his chest. It was easier, safer to revert to an older mindset. To get angry, to yell. Give them a reason to hate you, then at least they hate you for who you are, not what you are. It didn't hurt as much, it was a lesson he'd learned earlier on in his life. A lesson only he was allowed to know. By now, Inuyasha felt every bit justified for hating a world that chose to hate him for no reason.

Every bit justified in hating--

Whatever.

But did words like these have to come from Kagome's voice?

"Keh. If you were gonna tell me I'm wrong, I'd have kept my mouth shut in the first place. Dontcha think I already feel enough like a whiny bastard for sayin' any of this at all?"

A sharp flick of the wrist. His way of indirectly telling her to leave

Did he want her to? No.

But these moments were better spent by himself. Doesn't even wait, Inuyasha took that initiative and was already walking down the river's edge, where they'd been standing. Silence in every step, ears partway folded and shoulders tense.

It was his lack of aggression that said more than anything he could have shouted.

"I got better shit to do with my time, Kagome. Go pick flowers or somethin'."

[hamayas]

his mood shift was baffling, to say the least. if she'd wronged him somehow, she was lost to the cause. inuyasha just spend the last several minutes bashing himself and she came to his defense. was that such an inappropriate response? kagome felt a tinge of frustration, but it was stamped down just as quickly as it had risen. she knew him better than that. he was known to say things in the moment that he didn't really mean. there had to be an underlining reason for his spiky backlash. maybe it wasn't what she said directly. it was possible that he truly could not see himself painted in a different light. she couldn't possibly imagine what he experienced wandering through this world all alone. it pained her to even think about it.

❝ inuyasha... ❞ his name escaped her lips in a hushed whisper. despite this, she could tell he had heard her by the flickering of his ear. it didn't stop him from leaving, but she didn't expect it to. he was clearly closing himself off again and she would not allow it. this conversation was far from over.

❝i wont,❞ she replied defiantly, jogging a few paces to catch up with him. she wasn't about to let his off-handed insults deter her from getting to the bottom of his negative attitude, both towards himself and others. if he was really trying to hurt her feelings, he'd have to come harder than that.

❝couldn't you give yourself a little more credit than that? i'm not sure who you were talking about earlier, but that's not the inuyasha i know.❞