I'd rather die than loose my life

He/Him | Veterinary Student

[hotvampireadjacent]

[the-frog-blog]

“What if I derp?”

Oh my child, but what if you me gusta?

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

[orcboxer]

I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse

[sneebertdeebert]

Sneebert Deebert

[orcboxer]

[i-am-a-fish]

they should teach useful skills in school like home economics and how to safely pirate media

[never-kill-on-the-first-dat-blog]

Hey, what’s Winnie the pooh’s favorite color?

[taco-bout-a-shit-blog]

Yellow

[never-kill-on-the-first-dat-blog]

No it’s red because of his shirt

[taco-bout-a-shit-blog]

No, it’s yellow because he loves honey

[never-kill-on-the-first-dat-blog]

You have no idea what you’re talking about

[taco-bout-a-shit-blog]

DID I FUCKING STUTTER?

[voaga]

Things heating up at the Winnie the Pooh fandom

[sun-of-a-watcher]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[pixeltards]

[swarnpert]

getting on the treadmill at the gym and listening to bloodcurdling screams and scary noises and running as fast as i can screaming and crying and freaking out and looking behind me like someone's chasing me for like 30 minutes and then i immediately stop and leave like nothing happened

[segamascott]

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[markovchaingang]

the 100% accurate guide to tea leaf reading:

-cup empty: you will need to pee soon

-cup still full of tea: dude i made it for you why aren't you drinking it

[parkchanwoohoo]

[tortuah]

People in the notes need to shut the hell up about ai datacenters this is about the US military which you people are clearly not the true victims of so please fuck off and make your own post somewhere I'm not gonna see it.

[tortuah]

USAmericans will really see a post about the harm they cause and go "is no one gonna talk about how I'm the real victim here? 🥺" And NOT wait for an answer

[cunt-force-therapy]

The USA cannot be reformed, first of all because its existence requires the subjugation of an entire hemisphere at minimum, and second because the average USian is dumb as bricks

[daveedmee]

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

[demgozellegs]

Amor Matris

[pukicho]

Just saw a fish get his head torn asunder by a massive cleaver. Hope he’s okay.

[superhero-justice]

He is not.

[pukicho]

I'm trying to remain optimistic

[theriverbeyond]

kittens are amazing bc they're like what if a wayward ball of lint was also made of knives

[theriverbeyond]

check out my wayward ball of lint #MyLint

[theriverbeyond]

update on this btw, my beloved pile of lint is growing but also appears haunted (?)

[theriverbeyond]

update btw on #MyLint we are canceling the baby-food autoship bc she's a BIG CAT now??? 1 year old next week 😭😭😭😭 oh my god. started from the bottom now we're here

[cartoon-fanaticism]

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face