Ooooh!!! @handmemywriting-blog - Tumblr Blog

sherlck-deactivated20140622

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs

feathery-soul-deactivated201408

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

agnosticwitch

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

moontideempress

vimbia

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

jazmynedrakeford

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

youhavearighttoyourwrongopinion

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

caribe-bby

Y'all suspect af😂

dookiediamonds-deactivated20200

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

electricocelot

Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash

Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police

prismatic-bell

Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.

Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.

harmonysama-deactivated20190724

all this info is good for writing

but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed

ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone

thewelterschallenge

Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.

bloodforbones

Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same

sweetgirlfriend

Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)

fluidityandgiggles

This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.

nintendhoe-switchblade-deactiva

use a glass knife with wooden handle for ultimate wounding. its gonna leave a severe fucking wound and u can burn the wood and melt down the glass if it doesnt shatter inside the victim.

emilyelizabethfowl

Thomas what did i tell you about making suspiious posts?

ferntastic-m

I love learning.

study-like-you-mean-it

50 Things that Top Students Do

Listen to everything they’re taught, not just hearing

Take notes

Listen to opinions they don’t like

Be open to having their minds changed

Don’t listen to music with words when studying

Practise

Commit

Keep a regimen of self-discipline even in the face of a lack of motivation

Take breaks

Sleep regularly and more than expected

Work very hard during the day

Exercise

Plan in advance

Get small tasks done when there isn’t time to do bigger ones

Engage

Take failures as a learning curve

Think positively

Do their best work at the start of the year so they get more slack later

Talk to those who teach them

Debate

Do a little every day instead of all at once

Ask for help

Help others

Drink water

Work hard but work smart

Know what study setup is their most productive

Hold themselves accountable

Figure out which work is a priority

Don’t waste time re-reading as a form of studying

Find out things they don’t understand

Test themselves frequently

Work backwards through things to understand why something works

Learn more than they need

Have more interests and hobbies than just academics

Find out the most important concepts in a course

Learn the most important 20% of the course to get 80% of the grade

Don’t complain

Tailor their courses to focus on what interests them the most

Play hard after working hard

Read in advance

Know how to say no but don’t say no unless they have to

Take every opportunity they can

Eat well

Defend their personal beliefs

Don’t use other people’s successes/failures as an excuse for anything they do

Don’t let studying become the main part of their life

Understand that everything is temporary

Set goals, short- and long-term

Put their phones away/on silent when studying

Don’t expect any results immediately

I don’t think YouTube understands that I can’t afford groceries, never mind a company

thinxbae

🐁Mouse workout

(it’s called mouse workout because it’s quiet)

100 leg lifts (each leg)

75 squats

50 sit-ups

50 second plank

50 second wall sit

⚡️ Burns around 293 cals ⚡️

ttwxesu

Robbies gone and I’m crying

I watched Lazy Town growing up and I loved that son of a bitch, truly the laziest. Rest in peace.

feministism

I just saw this on an actual “hot or not” account, lol someone getting DRAGGED.

handmemywriting-blog

Reality TV show idea:

The production crew rents out a mansion, then goes to the closest dog shelter. They take 100 dogs.Young, old, adorable, friendly. Any type will do, none of them have owners. Then they get them trained and pampered by professionals (all recorded of course) for 1-2 weeks to make sure they are clean, healthy and not aggressive. At the end they put a contestant inside the mansion for 24 hours. The contestant will have to find all 100 dogs to win a cash prize. Catch is, all the dogs are all in cages (with food and water) hidden around the house, keep in mind this is a giant mansion. The contestant has to find them all to “win”. When they find them they can let them out of the cage and the dogs can roam free around the house. Everything is recorded by hidden cameras. If the contestant doesn’t find all 100 dogs in 24 hours they lose. At the end, whether the contestant has found them all or not, they get to adopt as many of the dogs they have found as they want (contestants are background checked during auditions). If any of the viewers have taken a particular liking to any of the dogs on the show they can call the crew and ask to adopt them, in that case the crew does a background check etc. If a dog has not been found/adopted on that round they continue into the next and get pampered/trained again until they get adopted. For every dog that gets adopted on the show, the crew gets another one from a shelter and trains them etc. until they find a home.

Reality TV show idea:

The production crew rents out a mansion, then goes to the closest dog shelter. They take 100 dogs.Young, old, adorable, friendly. Any type will do, none of them have owners. Then they get them trained and pampered by professionals (all recorded of course) for 1-2 weeks to make sure they are clean, healthy and not aggressive. At the end they put a contestant inside the mansion for 24 hours. The contestant will have to find all 100 dogs to win a cash prize. Catch is, all the dogs are all in cages (with food and water) hidden around the house, keep in mind this is a giant mansion. The contestant has to find them all to “win”. When they find them they can let them out of the cage and the dogs can roam free around the house. Everything is recorded by hidden cameras. If the contestant doesn’t find all 100 dogs in 24 hours they lose. At the end, whether the contestant has found them all or not, they get to adopt as many of the dogs they have found as they want (contestants are background checked during auditions). If any of the viewers have taken a particular liking to any of the dogs on the show they can call the crew and ask to adopt them, in that case the crew does a background check etc. If a dog has not been found/adopted on that round they continue into the next and get pampered/trained again until they get adopted. For every dog that gets adopted on the show, the crew gets another one from a shelter and trains them etc. until they find a home.

Tbh I think I might accidentally be a toxic friend. I’m scared.

fashioninfographics

Decoding dress codes

Via

toastoat

“ummmmm ur bra strap is showing :/ ”

ironicbaking

i thought this was me at first and i was really confused

omg hi

WE’RE MULTIPLYING

uhhhhhhh

hey

I FINALLY FOUND IT

how to win at college

this also applies to high school in a lot of ways, esp in organization and involvement

I read this book by cal newport called “how to win at college” in prep for my freshman year & u should definitely read it yourself because there are lots of important points i don’t cover in this post, but if you don’t want to, this is my summary of what I think were the most important points he made.

STUDY HARD, BUT YOUR GRADES DON’T MEAN AS MUCH AS WHAT YOU LEARN OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM. he prioritizes getting vital experiences such as

- joining a club and eventually taking responsibility in it and becoming a leader

- apply for scholarships every year (he said 10 a year)

- volunteer, but not for your resume. do it to learn and become a better person.

- get involved in research, and get involved in your major department (like go to the events and lectures, even if they aren’t mandatory)

- write outside of class regularly because writing is super important (example- submit to your school newspaper)

STAY ORGANIZED AND ON TOP OF YOUR SHIT

- he really really REALLY emphasizes not procrastinating and studying / starting papers well in advance of deadlines. his rules are to

- - >start long term projects immediately after they are assigned and continue to work on them by following a reasonable schedule (he says to finish early, revise, then finish again),

- - > take 3 days to write shorter papers (aka you have abt 2 weeks to work on them and they range from 2-15ish pages) (aka make preparations pre writing, then write a rough draft on the first day, revise and focus your writing on the second day (make sure your arguments are very clear!), and polish your paper on the third day), and

- - >take 2 weeks to study for an exam. study in shorter blocks during the first week, like maybe an hour or so each day. over the weekend, add more hours. the few days before the test, study in 2-3 hour chunks to really cement the already familiar information.

- get a filing cabinet for your papers instead of just piling them on your desk and having to search for them later.

- have a HIGH QUALITY notebook and a folder for each class (or whatever stationery keeps you organized) and keep all your folders/notebooks/binders neat and organized.

- empty your inbox and organize your emails

- schedule your free time- aka have specific times that you choose to relax and spend with friends rather than unintentionally relaxing during work time, or worrying about work during relaxation time.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

- you NEED sleep, you NEED healthy food, and you NEED exercise. you really shouldn’t put anything ahead of these things.

- NEVER pull an all nighter. if you’re studying ahead of time, this should be easy. all nighters aren’t glamorous, they’re unproductive, really stressful, and unhealthy

- keep in touch with old friends, and remember to call your mom

- make sure to spend time with new friends and take care of them. be there for your friends.

- keep your room neat and make your bed!!

like i said, there is a lot of important stuff that I didn’t cover so i recommend reading the book how to win at college by cal newport, and take what you need to from it. good luck!!!