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When Forever Ends
PAIRING - Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader WC - 3.1K GENRE - Fluff, Smut CW - first person fic (not sorry), pining, teasing, one (1) mention of murder, oral f!receiving, premature ejaculation (ik thats the term for it but i actually hated typing that) SYNOPSIS - secretly being in love with tetsu for years and then suddenly, kenma breaks it open by giving hope that maybe, just maybe, tetsu feels the same way A/N - kuroo tetsurou you are so silly ily
“Stop smiling.” I mumbled as I pointedly looked away from the boy in front of me, determined to keep my eyes on my notebook instead.
Tetsuro’s smile shifted into a signature smirk as he leaned on the table between the two of us. “Why?” His voice lulled, mocking me playfully.
I scoffed at the smugness that emanated from him and rolled my eyes slightly. “It does things to me that I’d rather not talk about.”
“Yeah? Like what?” He let out a soft chuckle and tried to tip his head into my eye line, looking to anyone else (and perhaps myself as well) like an idiot. “Why don’t you wanna talk about it?” He was teasing, acting like he knew something more than anyone else at the table.
I sighed deeply and glanced up to him easily. Propping my head up in the heel of one of my hands, I spoke lazily at him. “Like make me wanna murder you, but if I talk about it then it’s called premeditation and I’ll get more time for that.” I let an easy smirk cross my lips as Kenma’s shoulders shook in silent laughter from his spot next to Tetsuro.
Tetsuro did not find it as funny. “Y/n!” He exclaimed, eyes widening and jaw dropping. “How could you wanna murder your best friend?” He stopped leaning on the table and threw his hands up in an exaggerated gesture towards his face. “Look at me! I’m adorable.”
I raised my eyebrows and quickly glanced up and down his frame before looking over at Kenma, my brows still raised. A small smirk graced my lips as I tilted my head, trying to hold back a laugh as I locked eyes with the quiet boy.
“Hey! Don’t look at him like that!” Tetsuro cried, glancing between me and Kenma quickly.
Kenma flicked his eyes over to Tetsuro for just a second before bringing them back to me. Kenma widened his eyes a bit with raised brows, glancing away from Tetsuro for just a moment before giving me a small smirk.
“That’s not fair.” Tetsuro’s complaint was spurred by my non-verbal response to Kenma of an amused nod and half smile on my lips. Tetsuro huffed, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair with a small pout on his lips. “You guys are so mean it’s like you’ve got your own little silent language.”
My lazy smirk turned into a full smile then and I drew my attention away from Kenma. “We just work at a higher intelligence level than you, Tetsu,” I teased, trying to hold in the laugh that I desperately wanted to let out. Kenma didn’t hold back as much as I and let out a short laugh at his best friend’s flustered state.
Tetsuro groaned and shook his head. Putting his hands flat on the table, he used the positioning to support himself as he stood up. “I hate you both.” He tried to say it with a sense of finality but the small uptick of one of the corners of his lips gave away that he wasn’t as upset as he was pretending to be. “I’m getting coffee.” He declared as he turned on his heel and stalked off to the counter of the coffee shop.
“He’s such a drama queen,” I joked to Kenma as I watched Tetsurou reach the corner. I smiled as I watched him try to lean casually on the counter to chat with the barista, the little slip of his hand on the counter causing him to almost fall before he balanced himself. “And such a dork,” I let out a soft laugh, pulling my lip between my teeth as I watched him.
“You know, eventually, if you don’t tell him, I will,” Kenma mused, watching me carefully as I watched my other friend.
I snapped my attention back to Kenma in shock and shook my head lightly, confused as to what he was talking about. “Tell him what? I don’t know what you’re-”
Kenma sighed and gave me a deadpan look, the one he got when things dragged on for too long and he was ready to get to the end of it. “He loves you too, you know?”
I froze. “What?” The implications of the word ‘too’ processing slowly. The implication that Kenma not only knew about the way I truly felt for Tetsuro, but that he also believed Tetsuro loved me back.
Kenma sighed and glanced over to where my attention previously was, on where Tetsuro was tapping on his phone, waiting for his coffee at the counter. “He’s just afraid of admitting it,” he concluded, his attention coming back to me just as quickly as it had strayed.
“How do you know?” I asked quietly, hope filling my body. Kenma wouldn’t lie about something like this, I knew that. He didn’t really lie about anything. I glanced over at Tetsuro and couldn’t help the funny feeling bubbling inside of me as I did.
Kenma shook his head in mock disappointment, but didn’t try to hide the small smile playing across his lips at his correct guess about my feelings. “He stares at you every time you look away.”
----- ----- ----- ----- -----
Kenma’s words sat heavy in my mind for the rest of the day. My brain spending an agonizing amount of time to try and recount any time that Tetsuro might have given the impression that he had feelings for me beyond platonic. I had been notably quieter when he’d returned to the table and had even excused myself from the hang out before the sun set, which was unusual for me to tap out of socialization before Kenma did. There was just too much on my mind this time, too much I was trying to process.
I had been laying in bed for hours now, staring at the ceiling as the tv played in the background, some show on it forgotten long ago. The sound of my phone ringing caught my attention and I grabbed it quickly, hitting the answer button and pressing it to my ear. I opened my mouth to greet the line but were clearly too slow on the draw.
“Are you busy?” Tetsuro’s voice slid through the speaker on my phone and I squinted my eyes in confusion, sitting up in bed.
I pulled my phone away from my ear to check the time before bringing it back. I let out a soft scoff at the time as I responded, “it’s like midnight, Tetsu.”
“Okay.” I could almost hear his eyes roll through the phone. “So is that a no?” He asked after a moment.
I sighed and looked back up at the ceiling of my room. “No, dummy, I am not busy right now,” I sassed as I went to search for the remote, hoping to flip through channels for another show to actually watch this time.
“Could I come over and talk to you?”
My fingers dropped their grip around the remote and I glanced over towards the direction of my front door. “Right now? Did you not just hear me say that it was the middle of the night,” my tone reeked of exasperation as I tried to wrap my head around why he would possibly want to come over right then.
Tetsuro sighed on the other side of the phone. “Are you going to let me in or not?”
I opened my mouth to question him again but my thoughts were interrupted by a knock sounding from the other room.
It only took a few seconds for the dots to connect for me. I hung up the phone and rushed out of my room to the door, pulling it open quickly.
“Are you crazy!” I exclaimed as I looked at the boy standing outside my door. He was casually clad in a zip-up and a pair of joggers, looking like he was going to freeze any second. His messy hair was pushed out of his face, like he’d been running his hands through it. “What are you doing here?”
He tilted his head to the side, his hands burrowing further into his pockets as he slapped a nervous smile on his face. “What if I told you I was just insanely bored and needed to see you?”
I narrowed my eyes at him and blocked the entrance to my home a little more. “I’d call you clinically insane and leave you out on the street like the feral cat that you are.”
His jaw dropped as a look of mild offense crossed his face. “Come on, let me in! Its freezing out here!” He whined but I gave him a look to show how unimpressed I was. “Please?” He put on a small pout and I groaned at my own weakness. I stepped aside and waved him inside.
“An angel, really,” he teased as he stepped past me easily, slipping off his shoes and placing them to the side with mine.
I rolled my eyes as I shut my door. I turned and crossed my arms, leaning back against my door as I watched him exhale hot air onto his cold hands and then rub them together. “Don’t try to flatter me now,” I teased. “I’m mad at you.” Him and his crazy random dropping by when I’d already been thinking about him.
He laughed lightly, genuine smile popping onto his lips. “Again?” His eyes seemed to twinkle with mischievous energy. “Forgive me with a kiss?” He joked, but I saw it as an opening to address what I’d been thinking about for hours now.
I hummed in faux thought as I stepped closer to him. “On one condition.” I smiled lightly. I could tell that he thought I was just playing into his joke. And I was, in a way.
“What condition is that?” He smirked, mimicking me and taking a step to close the distance.
It was dangerous, that mischief in his eyes. It drew me in like a siren’s call, until I was standing chest to chest with him, looking right into that mischief. The siren’s call that taunted me to take the leap into the deep end. And I followed it. “Kiss me like you mean it, Tetsuro.”
I watched as my words registered for him like it was in slow motion. “What?” The smirk fell off his face and he looked at me in shock. Disbelief evident on his face, mixed with a glimpse of hopefulness.
“Kiss me.” I pulled my hands up to his neck, linking my fingers together behind it. “Like you.” I pressed my body against his gently and swallowed harshly at the warmth that radiated off of him. “Mean it.”
My name fell from his lips breathlessly, in the form of a question, as he brought his hands up to cup my face, thumbs brushing against my cheekbones. “Tell me you’re being for real?”
I could feel my eyes fluttering closed as I sunk into the soft touches of his hands, a sensation I’d only dreamed about before. “ I’m being for real,” I whispered.
A gasp drew from my lips as they were suddenly pressed to his. It took barely a second before he was backing me up against the door again, pinning me to the surface with soft movements. His hands cupped my jaw firmly, his kiss growing more desperate as he leaned his body into mine. Millions of unspoken words bleeding from his lips to mine. My hands slid down to his chest, fingers coming down to play with the zipper on his jacket.
A low groan came from his lips as he reluctantly pulled back slightly to breathe. “We should-”
“Talk about it later,” I muttered back, both of my words coming out in pants. I pulled my shirt off quickly and he couldn’t help but let his eyes drop down.
“Right,” he nodded along in a daze, “later.” He let out another groan and reconnected my lips, he was quick to lift me up. I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist and held onto his neck as he moved my connected forms from the wall.
His hands cupped against my ass as he stumbled my way further into my place, navigating blindly to my room. It was quick, a blurry sequence of movements as my clothes were lost until my bare back hit my bed.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he mumbled into the skin of my neck, trailing kisses to my chest and down the center.
I let out a sharp gasp as he pulled one of my nipples into his mouth, quickly but softly rolling his tongue over it. “As long as I have,” I whined in response.
He lifted himself onto his elbows, hovering over me as he spoke, eyes blown wide as he looked at me, taking in all of me finally. “Do you have any idea how fucking perfect you are?” I whimpered lightly at his comment as he brought his lips back towards my chest. He kissed across the skin as his fingers gripped the band of my underwear. “Can I?”
I nodded quickly and he wasted no time in complying with drawing them off my body. “Tetsu,” I whined as his fingers brushed against the inside of my thighs. My hands found purchase on his body, one winding through his hair as the other pressed to his bare shoulder, both tugging and pushing his body lower, begging his head to be between my thighs. “Please.”
He smiled lightly and readjusted himself, ignoring how his sweats shifted uncomfortably against him as he laid between my legs. “Anything for you princess.” His hands cupped the back of my thighs, easily lifting them and hooking my knees over his shoulders. His thumbs spread me open for him and I whimpered at the sensation. He made sure to lock eyes with me.
“Tetsu,” I drew his name out in a desperate moan as he flattened his tongue against me and dragged it slowly up. Long and slow. I threw my head back at the sensation as his eyes rolled slightly.
“Fuck you taste so good,” he mumbled into me, licking again. His tongue carved its way into me as I cried out, juices spilling onto his tongue as he moaned. Curses and moans tumbled off my lips as one of his thumbs brushed against my clit. “So so fucking good.”
“Please, please don’t stop,” I cried out as he moved his mouth up. His tongue flicked gently over my clit as his fingers trailed lower. Eased by his spit and my own slick, he pressed two of his long fingers inside of me.
Immediately curling his fingers up caused me to squeeze around them and he let out a strangled moan at the feeling of it, his hips stuttering against the bed. “Oh god.” He licked quicker, careful to not be too harsh but desperate to make me tumble over an edge.
His name came from my lips like a prayer, a mix of moans and whines, begging and pleading for more of him. He was diligent and consistent with pace and placement and when I finally came, I did so while calling his name.
“Fu-uck,” he let out a broken moan, his lips pressed against the inside of my thigh and his eyes squeezed shut. He pulled away quickly, leaning up on his knees as he tried to catch his breath, his hands braced on my legs, just above my knees.
It took me a second to come down from the dizziness in my brain and to notice the growing stain on the front of his sweats. “Did you just-” I whispered in shock as I glanced at him.
He was panting still, eyes squeezed shut and blush sitting high on his cheeks. “Yes.”
“Do you-” I cut myself off as I realized how inappropriate that question was, but he answered anyways.
“No I do not always cum in my pants, that was the first time.” He glared lightly at me with a sassy tone and I couldn’t help but laugh lightly at the situation. “Oh you think it's funny?” He teased, laughing a bit too as he leaned back forwards towards me.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at-” I was cut off by my own gasp as he pressed his fingers against me again. They slipped in easily now but felt just as filling.
“Can you blame me?” He asked, lips grazing against the crease between my thigh and core, forcing my body to arch into him. “The way you look right now.” He pressed a kiss to the indent of my hip and I let out a strangled noise at the sensation mixed with how he curved his fingers inside of me. “The sounds you make.”
“Tetsu,” I whined out his name as his thumb brushed against my clit, his teeth sinking lightly into my thigh.
He groaned at the noise. “My name falling from your lips like that is straight out of my dreams.”
“Please, Tetsurou,” I whimpered, fingers tugging at his hair and begging for him to look up at me again.
“What do you need from me, love?” He mumbled into my skin, looking up at me through the hood of his lashes.
“Tell me you love me like I love you,” I begged then. I watched him process the words. Eyes widening at first, clearly not being what he expected before he relaxed into a smile.
“Princess,” he mumbled, kissing my hip again, “I fell in love with you when I met you.” He dragged his lips across my skin to press another sloppy kiss just above my navel. “I love you now.” He dragged his lips again, a wet kiss just between my breasts as he drew his fingers out of me, despite my protests. “I will love you forever.” He kissed the base of my throat as his hands gripped my waist, arching my body to fit against his.
“And when ‘forever’ ends,” he hovered his lips above mine, looking me in the eyes so that I could see his complete sincerity, “I’ll love you some more.”
His lips crashed down against mine again and it felt like everything in my world fell into place.
TAGLIST - FILL OUT THE FORM TO BE ADDED
Accismus
PRONUNCIATION - Acis•mus | \əkˈsɪzməs\ DEFINITION - a feigned refusal of something earnestly desired.
PAIRING - Oikawa Tooru x Reader WC - 4.5K GENRE - Light angst, fluff SYNOPSIS - If I were to let him know that it was working, then my life would be over instantaneously.
A/N - hiding things from my bestie? could never be me. i talk too much.
PREV - MASTERLIST - NEXT
The first time that I met Oikawa Tooru, I knew right then, in an instant, that I never wanted to see him again.
I'd been running late to watch Tadashi's first practice match on the college team. I'd made a promise to make it even despite the current tension between his best friend and myself. Both me and the best friend had made a promise to him that our breakup wouldn't affect our friendship with Tadashi.
I had gotten stuck bringing extra water bottles since I was already running late. An unfortunate circumstance that had landed me where it had now, on my ass on the floor with bottles scattered around me.
"Woah there cutie," the smooth voice surrounded my ears and I saw him for the first time, the boy had just caused me to fall, "let me give you a hand?" His smile was too sweet in combination with how he bent towards me, one hand leaning on his knee and the other reaching out for me.
From the way his pretty brown eyes sparkled down at me to the way his silky curls bounced when he tilted his head, I knew immediately that I wanted no part of knowing him. But my hand was moving towards his on its own.
My fingers barely brushed against his own and I could immediately see him holding my hand a million different times. On cute dates, anniversaries, a whole lot of firsts, watching myself fall in love with him easily, over and over again. His fingers were slowly wrapping around mine before I was abruptly interrupted.
"Senpai!" There was a shout from a couple different girls and my hand quickly snapped away from the boy in front of me to watch the commotion. Squealing girls that immediately begged for his attention, awestruck eyes staring up at him.
And, suddenly, all those moments that had flitted through my mind shattered right in front of me. I mentally watched it fall apart. The quick fallout, the tears that would stream down my face, the feeling of my chest tearing in two.
I shook my head clear and used the girls as my distraction to gather my things again and quickly making my way inside. Praying to never see him again.
Of course, the world would never have been so kind to me. The second I watched him step into the gym I'd let out a soft groan of annoyance. I'd known instantly he'd be able to pick me out of the crowd if he'd try.
Unreasonably attractive boy who I had zero intention of ever speaking to. The one who tried to call out to me as I hurried out of the game when they were finished with their game. Calls of 'cutie' greeting my ears as his friends kept him with his team and I dutifully found my way to Tadashi outside.
The second time I saw Oikawa Tooru, I was out with my best friend. Easily flitting about the shopping center with her, giggling over clothes and what would look good on each of me. Toshiko had just convinced me to buy a new dress and to swap the clothes I'd shown up in for the soft fabric that now brushed against the tops of my thighs as I walked.
"It looks so good!" Toshiko cried out as she pinched some of the fabric, smiling at me as she hauled her back higher up on her arm.
"Hey!" The shout from behind the two of us caused us both to turn our heads in curiosity. After seeing the culprit, however, I snapped my head back to look away. "I thought that was you, cutie."
I groaned lightly and tried to tug on Toshiko's arm to get her to walk faster. "Ignore him, please." I begged quietly as she only tilted her head in confusion, glancing between me and him.
"But he's cute!" She whispered back in exasperation, keeping us in place. I winced as you felt his presence stopping next to me.
"Amazing coincidence, us running into each other here right?" He smiled and I winced at how bright it was, rolling my eyes as he looked down at us both with a playful glint of his own. "Our conversation got cut short last time."
"Last time?" Toshiko questioned, looking back at me like I'd betrayed her. "You didn't tell me you ran into a cute boy, l/n."
I groaned almost immediately as the boy, now in front of me, started to speak. I cut him off. "It didn't get cut short. I left the conversation."
His smile only widened as he looked at me. "L/n's a cute name." I groaned as he ignored my comment, staying on his own track. "So, l/n-chan-"
I immediately stopped him. "Do not call me that."
"I just want to take you out, just once." I narrowed my eyes at him and turned around quickly, starting to walk away, whether or not Toshiko followed was her own business. "Awe c'mon cutie." I could hear his steps pick up to follow as he whined at me. "Just one date?" I ignored him and kept walking, rolling my eyes as he persisted. "Please, cutie?" I shot him the best annoyed look I could muster and smiled when I saw a few girls heading toward the three of me.
"Sorry," I muttered to him in fake sympathy before stepping back to watch immediately as the girls quickly surrounded him. He immediately couldn't help himself from being nice to them and I took it as my excuse to slip away.
As soon as he was out of ear-shot, Toshiko was all over the interaction. "You know that cute guy?" She asked, her voice squealing and I rolled my eyes quickly. "Oh my god, why didn't you accept his offer? He's so cute and charming. He thinks you're cute!"
"Toda, stop." I sighed and glanced over at her confused face. "That's just how those types of boys act. I'm not interested. Please drop it."
Toshiko sighed but relented in her teasing for the day. She quickly changed the topic and didn't even mention it when I knew that she caught me glancing over my shoulder at him, locking eyes easily through his crowd of girls.
I didn't have time to think much of him in the next few weeks, busying myself with college courses and plots with Tadashi to hook up our two best friends. It wasn't until our plan had succeeded that I'd realized how much of my time had been taken up by trying to hook up Toshiko and Tsukishima.
The only time I'd even thought about the boy was when Toshiko threatened to 'give the cute boy from the other college' my number. But now, with my time suddenly incredibly freed up... I had nothing better to do.
I'd decided the easiest thing to do was to wander in and out of shops at the mall with different acquaintances from school. And every time, without fail, it seemed like I ran into him.
He, who insisted that I talk to him so I made a point to do anything but that. He, who insisted on adding 'chan' to the end of my last name. Calls of 'l/n-chan' always making me press my fingers into my temples and groan.
It seemed to me that he tried his hardest to annoy me every time he saw me. Trying his hardest to convince me to take him up on his offer for a date. Today was, surprisingly, no different. No different except for the fact that my 'friends' were watching from afar, taking up camp in the food court and making no attempt to help me.
"L/n-chan, come on." He whined, leaning casually on the railing next to him, a smooth smirk gracing his lips as he tilted his head towards me. "Just one date please." I sighed and rolled my eyes again, wanting so desperately to leave. "L/n-chan wou-"
"Y/n." I cut him off, tired of the name he'd been calling me. His smirk fell and one nearly picked up on my face as he pulled a confused look across his features, head tilting to the side. "It's my name. You know, like how yours is Oikawa Tooru. Mine is l/n y/n. Not l/n-chan."
His mouth dropped open. All his smoothness seemed to have disappeared as he floundered to find something to say. I sighed and shook my head before turning to walk away.
I missed the whisper under his breath as I stepped away. "She knows my name." If I'd bothered to turn around, I would have seen him trying to fully process what had left my mouth. I would have seen the dopey grin on his face as he played with the sounds of my name on his tongue, as he swooned over how his name sounded on mine.
Maybe I would've even seen the gears turning in his head as he suddenly turned into a 12-year-old girl, imagining how Oikawa y/n might sound.
"You can't date him, you know." One of the girls said as I reapproached the group I'd been with for the day. I tried to open my mouth to reply, to assure them that it wasn't even remotely in my plan, but she continued on before I could. "You'd just break him, kinda like you did with Tsukishima."
I froze at the words.
Break him? Did I break him? No. He was fine, sure we didn't talk for a while but that was normal at the end of relationships. Right? Things just hadn't worked out, we'd grown out of each other, it was fine now.
"Isn't he dating Toshiko now? But he was always quiet, was he not before?"
I stopped listening to their conversation, letting them carry on at their own pace, my opinion not needed - or wanted - on the matter. My fingers found their way to the necklace resting on my collarbones, dragging the charm back and forth across the chain easily as I thought.
I couldn't help the thoughts turning in my head.
Was I really scared Oikawa would break me? Or was I scared of what I would do to him? Either way, it was a good reason to stop going to places I would run into him.
It worked fine, my plan to stay away from Oikawa Tooru. Really, it did. Right up until I let Toshiko convince me to go support Kei and Tadashi during their official match against Seijoh.
I knew it was over the second that he locked eyes with me during warm-ups. Knew that I'd be hearing from him at some point during the course of the day.
I watched as the team I held dear to my heart slowly lost the game. The smug grin on Oikawa's face was enough to know he would be insufferable if I let him speak to me. And he was.
He was atrociously forward as he tried to catch me while I was grabbing Toshiko's things so she could go comfort Kei in his loss. It was easy to avoid him, really, his teammates trying to corral him as girls from all schools tried to fawn over him.
It was incredibly hard to want to hold my resolve to avoid him when he looked so incredibly attractive, high off of his win. He was so sure in himself and his team's abilities.
I knew that I couldn't ever admit it. Admit that he was wearing me down. That the constant attention and compliments he provided me with were getting to me. I knew that the second I admitted that I could fall for Oikawa Tooru, then my life would be over instantaneously.
As easy as it was to avoid him, I still found myself in the stands after my team's loss. Watching from my hiding spot behind taller bystanders as Seijoh went against the infamous Shiritorizawa.
It was painful, to say the least, watching Oikawa's confidence falter as his team lost. Watching the irritation on his face as his team wore faces of defeat to mirror his.
I felt bad for him, I did, but I still couldn't let him talk to me. I'd already pressed my luck by sticking around, by removing the safety net that was my friends.
I blamed myself, really, for the chain of events that happened next. Taking a back hallway with the hopes of avoiding any run-ins with Oikawa. How I'd run into a face I'd never seen before - an over-enthusiastic boy in a Shiritorizowa school uniform. A fan from the stands. A boy who couldn't take a hint, hovering over me, vulgar compliments leaving his mouth - anything but appealing as he cornered me against a wall.
I was quickly growing uncomfortable as his arm leaned on the wall near my head. "Come on, someone as pretty as me can't leave this place alone." He laughed loudly and I flinched from the sound. "Come home with a winner." I winced as I saw his hand moving closer to my arm.
I waited for the contact that never came. "You weren't even on the team. Honestly, taking credit for someone else's win? How pathetic." Oikawa's voice sent a wave of relief through my body. His hand was still mid-air in front of me from where he slapped the other boy's hand away. "Why don't you find someone from your own school to stroke your ego." Oikawa's harsh words were coated in sugar as he smiled at the offender. His arm slung around my shoulders casually, like it belonged there, and pulled me into him. "Now run along, she's spoken for."
The boy in front of me rolled his eyes violently. "Whatever," he scoffed, turning on his heel, "not worth the effort." I grimaced at the implication but trained my eyes on my own feet.
"Thanks, Oikawa." I whispered, not moving, still frozen in place, taking in the heat he was giving off.
"You can call me Tooru." I didn't have to look up to know he was smirking down at me.
I simply sighed and nodded. "Right, thank you." I sniffled lightly and stepped away. He, surprisingly, didn't protest as his arm fell from my shoulders. "See you around." I barely made it a step away.
"Why won't you give me a chance?" His voice was quieter. Not whiny like it usually was when he begged me for a chance. It was a genuine question. "Honestly, am I that bad? So bad that you want nothing to do with me?"
I didn't know what made me do it. What made me turn around and look up at him. But I knew what made me speak... the genuine search for an answer written on his face. I sighed and let my shoulders fall.
"Listen, Oikawa." I turned my head so I didn't have to see him, but I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my face. "I know what I'm like." It came out quiet, and it was a miracle that he'd even been able to hear me. But the hall was dead quiet, no one but the two of us.
"I know what you're like and that you have options. So," I took a large inhale and held my breath, "even if I was interested in you, even if you really are interested in me right now. One day you won't be anymore." I shook my head lightly, my fingers twisting the trinket around my neck again. "I don't wanna have to deal with that one day." It was like when I started talking that I couldn't stop.
I felt like my pauses were too long but for all I knew they could have only been a millisecond. I could have been speaking a mile a minute and I wouldn't have known. I wouldn't have heard over the sound of blood rushing into my ears to the beat of my heart.
"I know that the second I let you know that your stupid charm works on me, that you so effortlessly can wear me down, my life will be over." I sighed deeply, rubbing my hands over my cheeks. "Everything but you would cease to matter as much as it does. Please, I don't need that."
The silence in the hallway was deafening. I couldn't even know if he was still there, refusing to turn and look. My nerves felt like they'd been set on fire, painfully burning away one by one.
"Give me a chance." My head snapped up so that I could watch him with inquisitive eyes. There was no smile on his face, no teasing glint in his eye.
"Listen," it was his turn to sigh, "I know how I come off." He shifted awkwardly on his feet, a change from the graceful movements I was used to seeing from him, and his hand came up to scratch at the back of his neck. "But all I'm asking for is a chance. Just one." He gave me a hopeful half smile. It was awkward on his face, boyishly charming.
Fuck.
"I swear I'll try my hardest to never hurt you. That's not what I want. Not ever."
"Oikawa," I started but he cut me off again.
"Please. I just," sigh, "I can't get you out of my head. So just, one chance." He was dangerously close to begging, genuine begging, and I winced at the implications of what that meant for my resolve. "Just one chance, please. One date. And if it's awful and you never want to speak to me again then I'll leave you alone."
He stared at me, hopefully, and I could feel my resolve crumbling, like an old wall that he'd just laid his hand on, pulling pieces down. Fuck.
"One date." I watched his smile widen immediately and my eyes widened a bit in fear. Oh god... What had I done? "Only one date Oikawa. And then you leave me alone."
"It'll be the best date you've ever had!" I glared at him as he perked up. "Cross my heart!" He snapped a dopey smile on his face and threw his hand on his chest dramatically.
I sighed and shook my head in defeat. "Friday." He nodded enthusiastically as I rattled off my address. "God don't let me regret this." I muttered to myself.
"Could I walk you home?" He asked excitedly.
"No." I sighed as I started away from him finally. "I'll see you Friday."
The week that followed passed by excruciatingly slow. I didn't tell anyone about the date with Oikawa. Not even Toshiko. Especially not after Karasuno's loss to Seijoh. It felt wrong. Honestly, especially with how excited I actually was to see Oikawa.
When Friday finally came around, I couldn't help but feel happy all day. There was a giddiness consuming my demeanor through my classes as I got closer to being able to go home.
I couldn't stop fidgeting with my hair, my clothes, my jewelry. Nothing felt perfect. And I kept feeling like he was late, but every time I looked over at the clock to prove myself right, I wasn't and he still had plenty of time to appear.
And appear he did. Five minutes early. A quick knock on the door that I probably answered way too quickly.
God did he look good too. He was out of his school uniform, in nice jeans and a button up. There was a sly grin on his face as he pulled flowers out from behind his back.
"Wow." I laughed lightly, warmth flooding across my skin as I took the flowers. "Really pulling out all the stops?"
"Hey," he shrugged and mirrored my laugh with a soft one of his own, "I only have one chance to convince you to give me another date." I failed miserably at pushing down the smile that creeped across my lips at his effort. "If we could, m'lady."
He half-bowed and gestured his arm out for me to walk down the stairs first towards where his car waited at the curb. I rolled my eyes as he opened my door for me but couldn't help the happiness that clouded my head. Maybe he wasn't all bad.
Actually, he was nothing but sweet and genuine all night long. He excitedly talked about his interests, starting with volleyball (of course) and spouting off into other topics. I heard the pride in his voice when he spoke of his nephew and listened to how he loved his friends. And he always, always, made sure to ask about my interests - assuring me that he was listening with a genuine sparkle of interest in his eyes whenever I feared I might be talking too much.
I knew he'd done it before the night was even over. Knew that he'd slipped under my skin and made his home there. Knew that he'd ended my life that easily. Erased the importance of everything other than him.
I hated him for it. Except... I didn't. I couldn't hate him, not one bit. Not even when I was staring at him in disbelief as he walked me to my front door again, rambling about aliens. I was laughing along with him, genuinely laughing and he was beaming about it.
"How about," I started, pausing in front of my door to turn and face him fully, "the next time we do this, I get to choose where we eat?" I was smiling as I watched him freeze, his face contorting through a million emotions as he processed my words before settling on excitement.
"I get another date!?" he exclaimed, wide-eyed and smiling.
"Hmm," I hummed in faux consideration, "why don't you ask me?"
I let a soft smile quirk at my lips as he cleared his throat and slapped on one of his charming smirks. "L/n y/n, would you do the honor of going on another date with me?"
"Yeah," I laughed softly at the formality of it, "yeah I'd like that, Tooru." I smiled as he beamed at me, in awe. "So," I drew out the vowel of my word, glancing at my feet as I spoke the next, "you gonna kiss me goodnight too?"
He laughed heartily and wrapped an arm around my waist, easily pulling me to collide with his chest. My hands rested against it steadily, one of his arms holding me in place by my waist while the other hand tilted my jaw up softly.
His kiss was nothing but sweet. Lips soft and warm against my own. He was all-consuming.
I went inside on a high that day. The dizzy feeling only fizzing out when I hit my mattress for the night. The high that was the feeling of being absolutely wanted by someone who I wanted too. Of being absolutely wanted by one of the most wanted men.
Suddenly, as I hit my mattress, the feeling was calmed by the reminder of what the girl had said to me mere weeks before.
You're just going to break him.
The giddy feeling washed away by the reminder that I'd be disowned if my friends knew. If they knew I let him take me on a date once, let alone that I was doing it twice.
So the sneaking around began.
It was easier than I thought, really, to hide him and my relationship from my friends. Most of the places we frequented together weren't any places that my friends would show up. His friends seemed to warm up to the idea of me being around quickly too. Once they realized that I could snap Tooru out of a funk faster than even Iwa could, they basically begged to have me around more.
It took Tooru a whole month to officially ask me to be his girlfriend, wanting to show that he was serious about me. But then only one week after that for me to wind up with a new piece of jewelry around my wrist, a small 'T' dangling from the chain. And only one more after that for him to start sporting my initial around his own neck.
It felt like it was a whirlwind. Like every day I fell in deeper. All-consuming.
I hid it well. I both hid it well. Right up until Karasuno's match against Seijoh for the spring tournament.
It had taken Iwa, Mattsun, and Makki to pull Tooru away from my giggling form in the back hallway. Him trying to convince me to give him his 'good luck kiss' before the match. My playful refusal threw him into a whining fit that had Iwa threatening to punch him if he didn't get it together.
In the end, the whole fiasco had resulted in me giving him a kiss anyways. And in me being late to meet Toshiko in the stands on the Karasuno side. Something that Toshiko wasn't letting go.
"Where were you?" She stared at me warily as I shifted in my seat. "You're not usually late to things."
"Oh." My eyes flicked over to where Tooru was standing on the court, a small smirk crossing his lips when he caught me looking. I brought my attention back to my friend as quickly as it had strayed but my fingers fidgeted with the charm on my bracelet.
"How long?" Her voice came out irritated and I nearly jumped in shock as I met her gaze. I tilted my head in confusion and she let out an irritated puff of air. "How long have you two been dating?" She nodded her head to where my eyes had just lingered, where Tooru was practicing sets, and I sighed in defeat.
"Almost four months."
She nearly shrieked but quickly regained her composure, not trying to draw attention to the two of me. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I winced as she seethed the words out. "I thought you hated him."
"I tried to." I sighed, upset with myself as I finally confided in my best friend. "The first time I saw Tooru, I knew I never wanted to see him again. I knew what would happen if I did." I groaned and let my head fall in my hands.
"I signed my death warrant Toshiko, I know I did. I know boys like him. I know he'll leave me one day. They never stay." I tried not to look at her, knowing she was looking at me with pity.
"Even if he does leave one day though," I dragged my eyes up to watch him on the court, his eyes immediately finding mine with a proud smile after landing a particularly perfect practice serve. A smile carved its way onto my own lips, "I can't help it."
I looked at my friend and her features were softer now as she watched me. "I'm so goddamn head over heels in love with Oikawa Tooru."
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@x3nafix
I Fucking Hate You
PAIRING - Tsukishima Kei x Reader WC - 4.6K GENRE - smut CW - mentions of drinking, short(er) reader, manhandling, some degradations... i mean c'mon... it's tsukki, fingering, mentions of spit, unprotected sex, creampie. its in first person arrest me i guess A/N - i need to be shot down please. tsukishima brain rot is back
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If I would have known that letting my best friend Aiko convince me to come to the university volleyball team’s ‘end of trimester’ party would end with me here, like this… then I would not have come. I would have said to hell with her begging and her crocodile tears, the pout on her lips that was replaced with a huge smile the second I gave in and said yes.
I loved her… but she was manipulative.
“You’re worse than that Oikawa boy,” I’d accused her, just to watch her face twist up in disgust as she gagged and protested.
“Never compare me to him again.”
“You know he likes you right?” I joked, hoping that maybe if I pressed the right buttons and irritated her enough then she’d rescind the invite. It didn’t.
She’d only waved her hand at me in dismissal, “you’re not gonna make me uninvite you. You’re coming.”
So yeah… if I’d known that this is where it would have gotten me, I would have said no. if I’d have known that Aiko’s ex boyfriend would have been at the party (a fact I would put money on that Aiko neglected to mention on purpose), I would not have come.
And if someone had told me that I and the aforementioned male would be forced to actually interact thanks to my bitch of a best friend? I would have pushed her down the stairs the second I got here and ran for the damn hills. Because here I was… Alone… With one of the people that I hated most. The one person I argued with the most.
Honestly, knowing who was throwing the party, I could really only blame myself. I mean he was on the team. I should’ve expected him to be here. Really I just didn’t think he’d be the type to come to a party. The type to let himself be convinced to come. It was stupid. Really truly. I realized it the second I pulled up to Tadashi’s house with Aiko.
Because the same way that I would always show up for Aiko… Tsukishima Kei would always show up for Tadashi.
I had determined that the best way to avoid Kei was to drink with Aiko. To glue myself to her side because I knew he wouldn’t want to come around both a girl that he hated and his ex-girlfriend at the same time. As long as I didn’t let myself get pulled away by a teammate then I should’ve been fine. Golden.
Should have been.
What I hadn’t accounted for was being shoved down the hallway after him by the traitor I thought would be my safeguard. Being told to help find extra towels in the guest room because a couple of the boys wanted to jump in the pool.
It had taken me all of five minutes to give up on finding the towels and to sit myself on the bed, eyes trailing after the stupid bean pole as he kept digging through cabinets that I’d already been through.
“Would you care to repeat that?” he sneered out and it occurred to me that maybe I hadn’t called him that insult only in my head.
“Nope,” I popped the p on the word and rolled my eyes. I was suddenly aware of how stupid it was to have that many drinks with Aiko. It wasn’t that I was drunk, far from it, but I was compromised enough to have no filter between my mouth and my brain. No impulse control. “No one really wants to talk to you anyways,” I giggled then as I let the name Shouyou had recently taught me slip from my lips, “Suckyshima.”
I was trying so hard not to laugh at the glare he gave me as he heard it. He let out an annoyed huff of air as his tongue poked at his lip in irritation. He was towering over me then and my eyebrows cinched in confusion. When did he move in front of me? Why did he have to be so tall that it hurt my neck to crook back and look up at him? He was looking down at me with that signature condescending smirk that made my blood boil.
“Listen, shrimp,” his smirk widened as my eyes narrowed into a glare, “I’m sorry the simple task of looking for towels is too hard for that dumb little brain of yours to understand,” he emphasized his words with a flick to my forehead and I nearly growled as I swatted at his hand, “but don’t take it out on me.” He laughed and stepped away.
I clenched my jaw as I stood up, not that it helped much because he still towered over me as I straightened to my full height. I tried to keep my tone unbothered as I lashed out, trying to hit a nerve, “ya know, lamppost,” I couldn’t help but smile as I saw the slight tilt of his head and eye roll at the sound of the nickname I’d never once let up on since the first time I’d met him all those years ago, “if you weren’t such an ass maybe someone would actually enjoy talking to you.”
He scoffed, continuing to look around the room, for a third time. “Like you? I’d rather be deaf and mute for the rest of my life.”
I felt an amused sound vibrate at the back of my throat, “at least I’d never have to listen to your stupid voice again.” It was a childish jab, I knew it and he knew it, but I really couldn’t help myself. The need to piss him off, to annoy him, it was just too overwhelming. I really had to do it. “I mean, doing the world a favor really. Maybe knock that smug look off your face, sitting there, thinking you’re better than everyone.”
“Like you’re any better?” He turned to look at me, eyebrows raised and lips twitching, mocking as he re-closed the distance he’d just put between the two of us. Why did he have to be so stupidly tall? “Walking around, acting like a bitch, like the world owes you everything.” He glared down at me and I looked right back up at him in defiance. “Think you’d know better since you haven’t been able to attract a boy since high school - yeah Maki’s told me alllll about it. Walking around like you’re the shit just because you’re a pent up bitch.”
I felt my face heat up in anger. Embarrassment coursed into my system as I silently cursed Aiko for sharing that information with the enemy. It wasn’t like I had been actively looking for someone and had been turned down, so it wasn’t like it was something to be ashamed of. But knowing that Tsukishima knew about it suddenly made all rational thought leave my brain.
“You don’t know shit!” I shoved at his chest and he took a half-step back at the force. He let out a soft scoff, almost like he was impressed that I even had the gall to lay my hands on him. “Like you’ve landed a girl since you were with Aiko in high school?” I shoved again and watched as his tongue poked at the bottom of his cheek, a telltale sign that he was holding back his words, his insults. “You’re nothing but an ignorant,” I shoved him again, “arrogant,” shove, “asshole,” one last shove, “and I hate you.” I rolled my eyes and pushed past him, “not worth my fucking time.”
“I’m real fucking sick of you mouth,” Kei’s voice cut through the air and I barely registered the feeling of a hand on my arm before my back slammed against the wall. It took me a moment to register his frame caging me in but he was already speaking. “Watch your attitude,” the words were formed more into a growl as he pushed them through his teeth, one of his hands keeping me pinned to the wall by my upper arm.
I let out an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak at the motion and almost felt the need to submit overcome me before I snapped myself out of it. My mind was begging my body to ignore the proximity between the two of us. Begging my body how hot- I mean annoying it was that he was towering over a foot taller than me, caging me against that wall.
I felt the heat travel past my face and start down my neck. My head spun trying to figure out if it was still just anger or if there was a blush starting on my skin too. I hated the thought. I pushed at his chest again and tried to yank my arm away. “Fuck off!” I seethes at him and a final tug of my arm almost set me free only for him to catch me again and pull me back.
“I wasn’t fucking done talking,” I struggled against him but he didn’t let up, my body twisting in his grip. I groaned as I was once again pinned between him and the wall. But this time, my hands rested against the flat surface, just barely keeping my chest from being fully pressed against it.
"I don't fucking care what you have to say," I struggled to move and only grew more irritated when I couldn't quite get away before I was slammed back to the wall, again. "I'm fucking leaving, you asshole," I took a chance and tried to press my whole body weight back against him to throw him off and create a larger gap between him and the wall but it backfired quickly.
His quick reaction made me realize my mistake. He'd read my movements and his whole body quickly pinned mine to the wall, making it near impossible for more to move. I was reminded again of how bad I had messed up by drinking alcohol. The stupid alcohol that removed the filter between my mouth and my brain, between my body and my brain, as a desperate moan involuntarily clawed its way out of my throat. I froze and my eyes widened as I realized what I had just done, my body tensing up immediately.
"Oh?" I could almost see the smirk etching its way onto his lips. A light chuckle vibrated out of his chest against my back as he refused to move. "I get it now," he leaned down, lips leveling with my face, breath tickling the top of my burning ear as he taunted, "you're just a desperate little slut."
"I fucking hate you," I growled at him, jerking my body away from the wall, trying to get away from the embarrassing situation I'd just put myself in. "I'm fucking leaving," I barely got two inches away from him when his muscles tightened and slammed me right back against the wall. I groaned in irritation.
This time, however, he pulled me up on my toes and purposefully ground his hips into my ass. "You're a bitch."
I let out a pathetic whimper against my will, the heat crawling its way across my skin as I could feel him harden against me. The feeling of my core heating up was one I would have welcomed in any situation but this. Any situation where it wasn't Tsukishima Kei pressed against me from behind, I would have already given in. But it was him and I hated him.
My voice was weaker this time, "Get the fuck off me." I pushed again, struggling to escape his grasp.
His weight lifted off my figure and I thought I was home free. I wiggled against him, trying to escape the predicament I had gotten myself into. Of course, if I’d been thinking a little clearer, if the scent of his cologne wasn't fogging up my senses and the heat of his body wasn't suffocating me, I would have realized that I was only making it worse. He stifled a groan as I brushed against his hips a little too hard and suddenly it felt like I was even more trapped.
He slotted his thigh between mine, using it to separate my legs and keep them in place as he leaned down, pressing his cheek to mine. Even the slightest movement from either of us created a delicious friction that had my breath hitching and my panties dampening.
"Someone should put you in your fucking place," the way he growled sent shivers down my spine, the heat of his breath bouncing off the wall and fanning both of our faces.
I reached behind myself to try and push his thigh down and away, the heat in my body becoming unbearable. "I fucking ha-"
I was cut off by one of his hands snatching both my wrists and pinning them to my lower back. He forced me to arch against the wall, the motion causing my dress to hike up and me to lose my balance on my toes. He pressed his thigh up, angling it just right so that when I slipped off my toes, I unintentionally ground myself against his thigh. I let out a strangled moan and internally cursed my body for giving in so easily like this.
"Don't know where you think you're fucking going now."
I took a deep breath and bit my lip, trying to stop another moan from escaping as he began to move his thigh, the friction sending electricity through my core. There was no way I would let myself fall apart in front of fucking Tsukishima Kei.
No fucking way.
I ignored the pleasure flooding my body as I struggled to get my wrists released and get away from him. "I'm fucking leaving." Why did he have to be so fucking strong. "I swear to god Tsukishima-" a quiet whine interrupted my threat as a particular struggle of mine lined up perfectly with the movement of his thigh and the fabric of my underwear caught against my clit just right. "Let me go," it was supposed to come out as a hard demand but with the way my breathing couldn't steady, it came out more as a pathetic plea.
The cold of his fingers met the heat of my upper thigh and I gasped out as I felt them quickly trail up to pull my underwear aside. "Why don't you tell me to stop then," his condescending tone sent shocks straight through the center of my body in all the ways I hated but his movements slowed as he gathered the slick that had pooled in my underwear, like he was waiting for me to actually say it.
I couldn't. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't move. Couldn't stop the disgustingly needy whimper that clawed its way out of my throat. "I fucking hate you," I protested, but my body worked against me, pushing into his hand a little more.
A breathy chuckle left his lips, "Yeah, and that's why you're so fucking wet, right?" he mocked and sunk two fingers into me without warning. My mouth dropped open and my body lifted onto my toes as my hands clenched at the sudden feeling. "That's why your stupid little cunt is squeezing my fingers like this?"
"Fu-fuck," my breath stuttered and I didn't notice when his hand released my wrists, my hands finding purchase on the wall, holding myself up as he slowly curled his long fingers towards the perfect spot inside of me. A whimper left my lips as he pressed hard into me with his fingers.
"Go on then," he started with an amused huff, "thought you were going to leave." Reality crashed on me again and I snapped my jaw shut. I squeezed my eyes and begged myself to pull myself away from him now that I had the chance. But the way that his fingers kept rubbing so perfectly against my g-spot kept my mouth from forming the words, kept my body from leaving the dizzying sensation.
"You're dripping down my hand, you know," he taunted, twisting his wrist slightly and hitting a new angle. He pressed deeper and a cry left my body as I felt his thumb brush my clit. "Here I am, knuckles deep in you," my eyes began to roll back as the pressure in my gut started to build- God why were his fingers so long? Why did they move so well? "Bet you wanna cum on my fingers now, like a little slut." He laughed again as I let out a broken moan, nails starting to claw at the wall. "Go on and tell me you hate me now."
I bit back another moan and clenched my teeth. I reminded myself that there was no fucking way I was letting fucking Tsukishima break me like this. "I fucking hate you." I gritted out and pushed off the wall, going to separate myself from him.
He was quick to catch me by my waist with his free arm, pinning me against himself, this time with no help from the wall. He removed his fingers from my warmth and brought his newly freed hand to my hips. He pushed my dress up further and before I could register what was happening he had turned both of us and was throwing me down onto the bed.
I was pinned facedown on the bed before I could think. "You need a fucking attitude adjustment," he growled in my ear as he hovered over me, his hands still on my hips, trapping them in place under him.
"Fuck off," once again, it didn't come out as harsh as I meant it to, my out of breath tone ruining the purpose.
He only laughed at me and both of his hands left my hips, seeking out and finding my wrists quickly. He pinned them against my lower back, once again, holding them in one hand with a bruising grip. He used his other hand to pull my hips up, lifting the rest of my body onto the bed easily and pushing me forward, forcing my knees under my hips and my back into a deep arch. Easily, like I was a fucking ragdoll. The thought pissed me off but sent a new wave of heat rushing for my core.
I hated it. I hated him.
I could barely hear the rustling of fabric, and I definitely didn't recognize its meaning, over the blood rushing in my ears, the position I was in making me feel vulnerable to the one person I would swear up and down the coast that I hated the most.
I realized almost too late that his hand had left my hips and instead it was his knees and thighs holding me in my position. "You don't need these, right?" It was a mocking question that he didn't let me answer, that I didn't even register before the sound of fabric being ripped and my now-ruined panties were removed from my frame.
"You assh-" the sound caught in my throat and turned into a squeak as I felt the head of his cock brush against my clit. I couldn't see it, couldn't even shift my hips back to try and gauge how big it was. But the feeling of it, spreading my lower lips slightly made me want it inside of me.
"Why don't you keep quiet and let this slutty little pussy have what it wants." It wasn't a question. His fingers dipped back into me barely, just barely past the pads of his fingers and I let a needy whimper slip out at the teasing. He chuckled again, pressing the head of his cock right against my clit, sending a jolt through my body again. I couldn't move and I hated it. Wouldn't even if I could and I hated that too. "C'mon shrimp," he taunted, leaning down and lowering his voice, "tell me how much you want me to stop."
"Shut. Up." I panted it out, my cheek pressed against the mattress. It wasn't a stop. I knew that. He knew that. I could almost picture that stupid smirk on his face as he leaned back up. Picture him shaking his head in amusement, running his hand through that stupidly pretty blond hair of his.
"Have it your way." The feeling of something cold and wet dripping down onto your hole with perfect accuracy brought a loud gasp out of me. But before I could register how lewd it was that he'd not spit on my pussy, but let it drip onto it, he pushed the self-made lube in with the tip of his cock. "Fuck," he breathed out as I let out a pathetic squeak. He was thick. So deliciously thick. "Fuck you're tight."
He released my wrists and my hands instantly flew to fist the comforter by my head as he pushed the full head of his cock in. "Think you can take it?" His voice was breathy but the condescending, challenging tone in his voice was still there. I was nodding before I understood what I was doing. He laughed at me and I heard spit leaving his mouth again before I was distracted by both his hands on my hips. "Good." He bottomed out in a single thrust and my vision went white.
A choked moan escaped from me as I was suddenly engulfed by the feeling of being split open. He was seated deeper than I had ever taken anything and the pain that jolted through my core had never felt so delicious. And nothing had ever sounded as good as the moan that left his lips as his fingers on my hips tightened, no doubt leaving small bruises in their wake. I opened my mouth to say something but all that left was another cry as he moved his hips, starting at a brutally fast and hard pace.
I couldn't call the sounds that left my mouth moans, couldn't even call them whimpers. They were shrill cries of half-formed curses and pleas, desperate whines as he pounded into me. My hips were bruising as I tried to hold on to the comforter to ground me to reality. The pain and pleasure of the pace and force that he was rutting into me was making my mind go hazy.
He wrapped one of his hands into my hair and yanked, keeping my back arched but pulling my chest off the bed. My arms scrambled to find their way under my body, begging to hold myself up but failing as his hips refused to slow their pace. The new angle that his hips slammed into me at had my mouth left open, eyes finding a home at the back of my skull while pathetic, shrill moans left my body unfiltered. "Please, please, please," I begged without shame, heat burning all of my nerves.
"Please what?" he growled out, "what do you want slut?" I whimpered at the derogatory term. "Oh? Feel that?' he taunted, slowing down slightly to let both of us enjoy the way his cock stretched and rubbed against my inner walls, "the way your cunt just tightened when I called you a slut?" I cried out and tried to nod but couldn't due to the hold he had on my hair. "So tell me what you want, slut."
"Ple-" a cry left my mouth, "please wanna-" another broken moan escaped, "wan' cum." I slurred the words out as he tightened his grip on my hip and in my hair.
"You wanna cum on my cock?" I tried to nod desperately, a flurry of slurred "yes"s leaving my mouth. He laughed and halted all his movements. A frustrated groan ripped its way out of my throat as the heat dissipated ever-so-lightly. "Look at your cute little cunt drooling all over my cock." He laughed when I whined, trying to push my hips towards him to get him to move again. His grip steeled, making it impossible for me to move. "Ask me then." I widened my eyes at his words. "And don't you dare fucking cum without permission," he growled in finality.
"Wha-what?" He gave a harsh tug on my hair and my eyes fluttered. Fuck it. "Please," I whimpered lightly. He moved his hips lightly, drawing out and pushing back in ever so slightly. Not enough. "Please can I-" he cut me off by resuming his previously brutal pace as the heat returned in full force to my belly, tightening pressure building quickly.
I remembered his threat and struggled to get my tongue to form the question. "Can I-" a scream ripped through my body at a particularly hard thrust, "can I please." The last word was drawn out with a long whine, trying to catch my breath. "Please," I tried to catch my breath as moans fell effortlessly from my mouth, "wan' cum, wan' cum, cum ple-ah!" my mindlessly babbled pleas interrupted by my cry.
"Can I- can I- please," he mocked me, shifting his pitch up before laughing. "God so stupid you can't even ask a question?" His voice was strained but collected as he pounded into me impossibly harder, cries falling from my mouth, eyes rolling back again, tongue flipping past my bottom lip. "Fucking cum then. Cum on my cock like a good little slut." Like a command.
"Fuck!" I cried as I felt every one of my muscles tighten around him, his movements refusing to let up on my body as I started to shake. He released my hair and my upper body crashed down to the sheets as he resumed a two-handed grip on my hips, recklessly starting to lose his rhythm as he pulled my body to meet his every thrust, fucking me through my orgasm. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, Kei!" His given name fell from my lips in a shriek and almost immediately I received a response.
"Fu-ck." The word left his lips in a broken moan. A higher pitched one leaving right after I felt his length twitch inside of me, spilling his load deep into my core. He paused for barely a second before pushing me flat onto the bed, disconnecting our bodies easily.
So that was that.
Or so I thought, preparing to catch my breath and lay there in my shame.
That plan, however, was interrupted as Kei gripped my legs by my knees, easily flipping me onto my back and drawing me towards the end of the bed. I leaned up on my elbows, looking and watching, speechless as he rid himself of the pants that had been half-on this whole time. My breath hitched as he tore his shirt off next.
As much as I hated to admit it, he was a fucking sight to see.
Sculpted abs flexing with every movement. Sweat dripping down his perfect, lean muscles. Blond hair damp and mussed without care. And his still hard cock. Fuck. It was fucking gorgeous and glistening with a mix of both his and my cum.
I swallowed hard and met his eyes as he smirked down at me. That stupid fucking condescending smirk that made my skin burn with hatred, and now lust.
"Did you think I was fucking done?" He was inexplicably intimidating from this angle, towering over me. He laughed at my wide-eyed expression and reached to tear off my dress. "What's wrong, slut? No smart remarks this time?"
I groaned and lost my balance on my elbows as he quickly pushed two fingers back into me, watching with sick satisfaction as his cum gushed around them.
I moaned despite myself. "Yeah, I fucking hate you."
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PAIRING - Otoya Eita x Reader WC - 1.3K GENRE - Smut CW - first person fic (not sorry), smoking (weed implied), intox sex, dubcon to be safe, sex... its high sex... SYNOPSIS - smoking with otoya always ends like this.... A/N - someone commit me to a hospital....
I giggled as Eita pulled me into his lap, my legs clumsily straddling his as he situated me hips over his lower thighs.
“C’mon sweets, take another hit,” he twisted the joint in between his lips. I licked my own lips as I watched him suck another breath through the filter before he turned it around, offering it to me.
I didn’t answer him, just made eye contact as I leaned forward. My lips wrapping gently around the end of it and watched him watch me. Filters of smoke floated up between us, coupled with the warm feeling of his breath brushing against my chest. I exhaled my own smoke soon after, the two clouds mixing together in the air.
He gave a lazy smirk when I coughed slightly, and pressed the joint back between his own lips. “Easy now sweets,” Eita chuckled a bit as he inhaled another lungfull of smoke, pulling my head forward towards him.
It wasn’t the first time that my lips had pressed against Eita’s, and it definitely wasn’t the first time that he’d exhaled his breath into my lungs. His lips slotted against mine easily, naturally. I breathed in his smoke slowly, some slipping between the tiny gaps our lips created.
I hummed softly, my eyes falling closed as he cupped the back of my head, keeping my mouth against my own.
He distracted me for a few more seconds, the press of lips that had been for breath turned into true kissing. He was easy with it, pulling my body closer to his as I felt his tongue slip into my mouth.
I gasped slightly when I felt his hips grind up into me. The action and my reaction forced my lips to part from his, smoke exhaling from my mouth. Eita smirked and it took him barely a moment to have his lips right back there again, breathing more smoke into my lungs. I couldn’t help but giggle at the way the smoke felt against the back of my throat.
My mind was already hazy from the influence I’d been under for the past hour. Eita and I had been with friends when we’d begun, but they’d since left, gone home for the evening. Leaving me and Eita alone while smoking… that always ended this way.
Eita’s lips on mine, arm wrapped around my waist, keeping me pressed to his chest as our kiss got sloppier.
He leaned past me, snuffing out the joint on the coffee table and leaving it there. He relaxed back against the back of the couch, bringing me to lean forward with him. His hips bucked up into me as I whined directly into his open mouth.
It was messy, uncalculated and instinctual, as his lips slid easily against mine, saliva on our lips. His tongue licked along my bottom lip again, slipping inside. I was happy to let him control the pace, the drugs making my body willing to submit to his every touch and beckon. I was much too concerned with sliding my clothed core over his bulge, over and over, trying to give both of us the friction I was sure he wanted too.
My focus made my lips lag, and they quickly became too slow-moving for his impatience. I felt his kisses dip lower. Lips gliding against my jaw, teeth nipping at skin. Small noises slipping from my throat as he went.
My head fell back as he moved down to my neck, gasping as he sucked a bit of sensitive skin between his teeth. He worked it between his lips, only satisfied when the skin blossomed another color. He moved on to make another oneness my hips pressed down harder into his.
I could distantly feel the vibration of his groan against my skin. I barely noticed his fingers tugging at the button and zipper of my shorts, my mind only able to focus on one thing at a time.
“Hey, hey,” Eita drawled lazily as he pulled back, tapping at my hips. My head tilted forward, trying to take his expression in. He wasn’t even looking up at me, his eyes focused on where my hips ground against his, over and over again. “Up, clmon, just for a second, c’mon lemme just…” he trailed off, licking his lips as he got distracted by my movements.
I didn’t question him, easing myself up onto my knees and giggling as I toppled to the side a little when he helped drag my shorts and panties down in one movement.
I pulled myself back up and moved myself back up over his lap before he even finished, my shorts still hanging haphazardly off one of my ankles. My hands moved towards the band of his sweats as I caught his lips with mine again. I moaned as I desperately pulled down the top of his sweats and boxers, just enough to pull out his cock.
He hissed against my lips as my hand stroked him messily, smearing precum around his tip as I lifted back onto my knees over him. His hands stayed focused on my hips lifted over his, grip tight with barely-held control.
I dragged the tip of his cock through my soaked folds, trying to tease like he usually did to me. But impatience got the best of him, his hips jerking up, his cock sinking into me easile and without warning. He swallowed my cry and ate the moans that followed as he tugged my hips down further, until he was fully inside of me.
One thing at a time. That’s all my brain could focus on, fog covering everything except the most pertinent feeling.
Currently?
The feeling of how his cock felt pressing against my inner walls, stretching and dragging.
He groaned into my mouth. Mumbling something that resembled a curse of my name as he twitched inside of me. “Just relax, sweets, promise I’ll take care of you,” he mumbled, pulling my arms to wrap around his neck before grabbing my hips again.
I dropped my head again, unable to keep up with his kissing, my face buried against his neck. It was easy for him to move my hips up and down at his own pace, soft, whiny moans from my lips as he moved slowly, deeply, his thrusts stirring at my insides.
I whimpered and rolled a bit of his skin between my teeth, intent on making a mark that matched the one he’d left on my own. He couldn’t care less, he was focused on fucking his cock deep into where my cunt was sucking him in, over and over. His head tossed back against the couch, groans and curses leaving his mouth, eyes squeezed shut. Mumbling about how good I felt, too good for him.
I could feel his jaw clenching as I kissed messily along his neck.
“Fuck, wait, hold on,” he groaned when my hips started to move on their own, craving a quicker pace. It was slope but it was enough for me, his fingers were digging into my skin, broken moans coming from deep in his throat as I whined against his neck.
I could feel his cum fill me up, his length twitching inside, but it didn’t stop me. The broken jerk of both out hips only spurred me on as I chased after my own high. His cum leaking out of my, dripping down my thighs and pooling on his lap with my own juices.
“Sorry, sorry,” I whimpered, my hips still rocking against his as his hands finally caught on to the rhythm, “want more, please more. Feels sooo good,” I panted.
Eita’s curses slurred, spilling easily as his hands forced my hips into a slightly faster pace, his own hips finally moving up to meet mine, fucking up into me harshly. “Yeah, yeah I gotchu,” he groaned, “I’ll give you more.”
TAGLIST - FILL OUT THE FORM TO BE ADDED
County Fair
PAIRING - Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader WC - 3.3K GENRE - Fluff CW - first person fic (not sorry), pretty much just fluff SYNOPSIS - sakusa hates crowds and nothing is more crowded than a county fair, but if its with you then maybe he can find it tolerable. A/N - she comes back with her first fluffy fic ever, back in her original style...
Becoming friends with the MSBY team was inevitable. Going to Fukurodani for high school meant that eventually I had run into Koutarou and honestly, it wasn’t easy to avoid a friendship with the man. Our friendship was a small one, not being in the same year meant we only talked in passing or if I ended up showing up to a volleyball game - which I often did. And then, when I moved to Osaka, it was only a matter of time before I was being dragged to hangouts with the MSBY team by my old high school schoolmate.
Those hangouts always provided a second familiar face from my school days. Sakusa Kiyoomi. I’d known him longer than I’d known Bokutou, since middle school thanks to a friendship I’d made with Komori. I liked to think that those outings with MSBY were a little nicer for Kiyoomi when I was around, maybe that was delusional, but maybe it helped him to have someone who had known him so long that they could tell when he was uncomfortable without even looking at him. Because, well, if there was one thing his teammates liked to do, it was drag him into situations he’d never have comfortably wandered into on his own.
Like today, for example.
Standing in the middle of the county fair that was in town for the summer.
Koutarou, Shouyou, and Atsumu had decided to drag a whole group out to the fair since it would be ending in a few days. How they’d convinced Kiyoomi to go was beyond me, truly. All three of the boys had dragged along dates as well, which had left me and Kiyoomi on our own as they all linked hands with another.
Kiyoomi had shoved his hands awkwardly in his pockets long ago and I could tell by the way his eyes flicked around the crowd that he was wildly uncomfortable. Most of his face was covered by his mask, per usual, but the little crease between his eyebrows as they scrunched together gave him away.
The glares he was sending to Atsumu were becoming more and more frequent as the time went on, and if I wasn’t so worried about him and how anxious I could tell he was getting, then I would have found it all amusing.
“Omi-Omi!” Atsumu yelled, trying to swing an arm over Kiyoomi’s shoulder - a movement he easily dodged. “Bokkun!” Atsumu whined over his shoulder to Koutarou when he was rejected by Kiyoomi. “Omi-Omi’s bein’ mean!” But Koutarou was too busy dragging his girlfriend to the cotton candy stand to care about his teammate’s whining. As I watched Atsumu turn towards Shouyou to complain to someone else, I felt a warm hand wrap around my wrist and drag.
I gasped and pulled my eyes to look at my abductor and saw only the soft black curls that laid on the back of Kiyoomi’s head. He maneuvered easily through the crowd, practiced and methodical, touching the least amount of people possible as he dragged me along with him.
He kept the distance between us small, leaving very little room for someone to possibly step between us and ruin the flow of our movements. I glanced behind us and noticed that I was easily losing the heads of my other friends in the crowd the further we got.
“Kiyoomi?” I called softly in question once I noticed his pace starting to slow. We’d finally settled into easy movements and he glanced over his shoulder, waiting for me as I caught up to walk side-by-side with him. “What was that about?”
“They’re annoying me.” His words were blunt as he continued to lead us away, now seemingly without direction. “Didn’t want to leave you alone to deal with them either.” I smiled slightly as he cleared his throat. I tried to get a good look at his facial expression under his mask but he turned his head too quickly. “I find you tolerable.”
I let out a loud laugh at that, I couldn’t help myself. I barely registered that his head whipped towards me in surprise at my outburst, but I was too busy letting my smile split my face to mind the bewildered look he was giving me. “I’m sorry,” I giggled as I attempted to take deep breaths and calm myself down. I beamed up at him and saw a soft look pass over his eyes when they connected with mine. “Thank you for tolerating me. However, I do really want to be at this fair, and if you would rather go home, I would understand.” I laughed a little more, “I don’t mind being the extra wheel with them for a day so you can get out of here.”
His soft stare turned into a glare for a second and I momentarily thought I’d offended him before he rolled his eyes and looked forward again. “We’re already here,” he continued to walk with me, slowing his gait to match mine, “you enjoy yourself and I’ll try my best.”
I bit back my laugh, but I couldn’t help my smile. “Okay,” I agreed, nodding, “you let me know when you tap out.”
It was then that I was suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that Kiyoomi’s hand was still lightly wrapped around my wrist. The warm weight was foreign but not unwelcome as we walked. I decided to test the waters, letting my hand slip slowly into his. I gauged his reaction carefully, his eyes widening slightly and his grip tightening in mine for a moment before he relaxed into it. He didn’t say anything, but I could have sworn I could see the tips of his ears turn pink beneath his curls as we walked.
“Let’s get cotton candy!” I exclaimed then. If Kiyoomi was willing to trail along the county fair with me, then I would be making the best of it. I dragged him along by using our conjoined hands, finding my way to the front of the nearest stand. I bounced lightly on my toes, excited, as we waited to get to the front of the line. I was acutely aware of Kiyoomi’s eyes lingering on me but I chose to ignore them - worried that if I looked over, I would see him giving me one of the looks that he gave Koutarou when he was doing something Kiyoomi deemed as childish.
When we got to the booth window, I rattled out my order for cotton candy and went to reach for my wallet but was stopped by Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi who was already handing his card over to the boy who was running the booth. “A bottle of water as well, please.”
I smiled up at Kiyoomi and saw him glance down at me quickly before redirecting his eyes back to where he was being handed back his card. He sighed and released my hand as he grabbed my treat and the water.
My hand felt weirdly cold and I couldn’t help the small frown that pulled at my lips ever-so-slightly as I trailed after him and away from the booth’s line. My eyes were trained on the back of his shoes as I made sure to not lose him in the crowd. The sudden stop and turn of his shoes had me drawing my eyes back up to his face. He was holding my bucket of cotton candy out to me, the seal already broken off and ready for me to start eating.
“That stuff is awful for you so make sure to drink some water after.” I stared at him in awe for a moment but he just rolled his eyes and directed me to turn towards some of the enclosed tents nearby with a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t look at me like that.” He sighed at me but left his arm across my shoulders as we walked into the building. “I want to look at the shopping booths.”
I could barely hear his explanation over the blood pounding in my ears at the weight of his arm on my shoulders. My heart pounded furiously as I stood close to him. I had never been this close to him for an extended period of time and I could feel my skin heating up, the anxieties of possibly doing or saying wrong to ruin this moment rattled around inside of my head. I tried to keep the appearance of being calm on the outside as I placed a small piece of cotton candy in my mouth.
We wandered around the shops, chatting idly about the items we saw and how useless or ridiculous some of the things that were being sold were. I made a point to stick another piece of the cotton in my mouth anytime I thought I might say something dumb. I was determined to not ruin the rare moment I’d been blessed with. The moment of having Kiyoomi in public with his arm around me. I was sure that this chance was once in a lifetime.
As the shopping booths ended, so did my cotton candy. I winced at my safe-guard disappearing but I was left with yet another shocked expression directed to Kiyoomi. “Water please.” Kiyoomi requested, easily removing the empty container from my hands and replacing it with the bottle of water he’d bought with it. The same bottle that he’d been drinking out of every now and then.
I stared at the bottle in shock for a moment as he disposed of my trash. I brought it hesitantly to my lips to take a sip, washing out the sugary aftertaste left on my teeth from the pink candy. I expected the bottle to be mine now but felt my eyes widen as he took it back and pulled his mask down slightly to take his own sip before screwing the top back on it.
I watched in curiosity as he wiped a little bit of water off of his lip before pulling his mask back up. It was ridiculous for me to find the motion attractive and I quickly averted my eyes to look away from him when I noticed him glance over at me. “Let’s go look at the different games.” I gripped his hand easily and led the way this time. Pushing off the anxious feeling of touching him when he didn’t protest and instead let me drag him along.
I smiled as I pointed out the games and the cute couples playing against each other. I was oblivious to the smile he grew under his mask as he watched me coo at how cute the stuffed animals were that people were carrying through the crowd. Oblivious when his fingers started to rub circles into my hand, suddenly neither of us conscious about the way that our fingers were intertwined and felt warm as we made our way through the crowd.
The bright colors of the fair blurred out everything except Kiyoomi and I and whatever new thing I was pointing to and raving about. There was a pull on my arm and I watched as Kiyoomi dragged us to a booth to throw darts at a wall of balloons.
I smiled as I grabbed my assigned darts, only to miss horribly each time. I laughed and shrugged easily but watched as Kiyoomi furrowed his eyebrows and took my place, grumbling. “Kiyoo?” I questioned as I watched him hand over some cash to the man running the stand.
“Color to color, right?” Kiyoomi ignored me and directed his question to the booth manager. I tilted my head in confusion as he lifted his hand to aim. I watched in awe as he hit every balloon perfectly and a small little alarm went off at the top of the booth signaling a perfect score.
I jumped up and down in excitement, my confusion easily forgotten as I felt a rush of adrenaline at his win. “Oh my god! You won!” I jumped in front of him excitedly, smiling widely and I swear I saw his eyes glimmer at my excitement.
“That one right there.” He pointed to the stuffed animal hanging above us. The pink and fuchsia fabric catching my attention as the booth worker pulled it down and put it into Kiyoomi’s hands. “You know,” Kiyoomi sighed, turning towards me as he turned the animal in his hands, looking at it, “you should have just said something.” I tilted my head at him, pausing my movements to analyze his. He was holding the stuffed animal out to me, presenting it like a gift. “I saw you looking at it, I know you wanted it.” He cleared his throat and brought his hand up to scratch his neck as I slowly took the stuffed animal and turned it around in my hands, analyzing it while a small smile grew on my lips. “I mean it’s kind of weird, but it’s for you.”
“It is not weird!” I exclaimed, holding the stuffed animal to my chest protectively. “It’s an axolotl and it’s adorable!” I exclaimed with offence. He raised his eyebrows at me in curiosity and amusement as I began to jump up and down again. “It’s so cute! Oh my god!” I squealed and hugged the stuffed toy even tighter. “Thank you thank you thank you!” I exclaimed, beaming up at him.
He coughed awkwardly, adjusting his mask as he looked away from me. “Re-relax,” he muttered, looking anywhere but at me as I refused to look away, “it was whatever.” He cleared his throat and I tried to calm myself down. The light blush that had begun to creep up my own cheeks was burning my skin as I realized that he was beginning to feel awkward with my attention so plainly on him like this.
“Did you want to…” I trailed off and tried to glance around the fair, trying to spot something that we could do next that wouldn’t cause him too much discomfort. He’d been nothing but accommodating to my whims and wishes that I wanted to pay him back a little for it.
My eyes locked on the spinning lights of the Ferris Wheel that I could see in the dimming sky, just over the tops of the booths. The idea was instantly pushed out of my mind, however, because as fun as it looked, as much as I wanted to go on it, I was scared it would be too much of a “couple thing” for him to want to do it with me.
“How about the Ferris Wheel?” He offered, interrupting my thoughts as he already started to guide me with an easy hand on my back towards the line for the ride. My eyes followed his movements carefully, a small smile tugging on my lips as I trailed after him. “There’s um, there’s less people up there,” he reasoned softly and I nodded along to him, not having the guts to protest the words.
When we got to the front of the line, he let me into the small cart first, pausing to speak quietly to the ride worker. When he slipped in next to me and shut and locked the door, I swear my breath caught in my throat.
I could feel the heat radiating off his body and wrapping around my own. His side created a soft pressure against mine and I watched his curls bounce lightly as he nodded at the ride worker. His curls looked so soft compared to his hardened outside personality, that mask of stoicism he wore.
“What did you say to him?” I questioned softly as the ride jerked to life, pushing us up towards the top.
“He was telling me that the fireworks were about to start.” He pulled his mask down under his chin and relaxed against the back of the cart, his arm lazily draped over the seat behind me. “I asked if he could make the ride go a little slower.” He smiled and tilted his head to look at me easily. “No need to look so surprised.”
I quickly realized that my jaw had dropped open and I was staring at him. “Sorry,” I laughed breathily as I looked away from him, the heat returning to my cheeks. “It’s quiet up here,” I mumbled, looking out at the lights of the fair, “it’s pretty.”
“You’re pretty.” My eyes widened at the compliment that seemed to float easily out of his mouth and my head snapped back to look at him. “I’m not taking it back,” he said quietly, eyes analyzing my shocked features. His cheeks, tinted a soft pink, were the only giveaway to his current nervousness. “Actually,” he cleared his throat and turned to face me directly, the cart rocking slightly as he did, “you’re beautiful. And I thoroughly enjoyed my time today.”
“I-” I swallowed the extra saliva in my mouth and had an issue keeping the eye contact he was holding as he leaned closer to me, a soft smirk on his lips. “I enjoyed my time as well,” I whispered, my grip tightening on the soft animal he’d won for me still in my grasp.
His hand came up to cup my face, his thumb brushing gently against my cheekbone and his eyes trailing its path. “Could I kiss you?” he whispered softly.
I nodded quietly, not trusting my voice to respond to him. I let my eyes flutter shut as he tilted my head up, angling it towards his.
The first pop of fireworks went off just as his lips fit against mine.
His lips were soft, warm, as they pressed against mine and my body instinctively leaned in more towards him. That warmth from his lips sparked like wildfire, spreading across my face and setting off fireworks in my stomach, mimicking the fireworks now going off in the sky. I pulled away in shock as the cart came to a stop at the top of the wheel.
“I may have also paid him to give us a couple minutes at the top while the fireworks went off,” he confessed as he took in my expression. I was watching the colors of the fireworks light up the sky, a blush spread across my cheeks.
“Are you a romantic after all?” I teased him lightly, but he just rolled his eyes and pulled me back towards him with a gentle hand on the back of my neck.
“Shut up and kiss me again,” he whispered against my lips and I happily obliged.
The cold air that brushed against my skin was a stark contrast to the warmth Kiyoomi provided me. One of my hands wound its way into his curls - as soft as I’d imagined - and the other kept hold of the plush toy he’d won for me that I was sure I’d never let go.
When he finally pulled away, he refused to take his arm from around me, using it to occasionally pull me in for another kiss. The fireworks going off in the sky made me smile at the movie-perfect moment.
“We should come back,” he suggested as we started to move back towards the ground again.
I tilted my head to lock eyes with him, smiling softly, “but you hate being at the fair.”
He shrugged his shoulders, “I can make an exception for you.” He smiled at my lit-up face, “it isn’t so bad when I’m alone with you.”
“Is that Omi-kun!?” I heard a voice shout from the ground and laughed as I saw a mess of orange hair pop up from above the crowd to look at us.
“I’ll pay you to make it go around again,” Kiyoomi said to the ride worker as we almost reached the bottom. I laughed as he nodded and sent us back up. Warmth filled my body as he kissed me again. “They’re annoying,” he grumbled.
He didn’t have to justify himself. I didn’t mind if we never got off the ride.
TAGLIST - FILL OUT THE FORM TO BE ADDED
i’ve spent the past two hours emotionally devastating myself about my selfship with ran haitani… and the three different timelines it spans…
REGISTRATION INFORMATION
Character(s): Kazemi x Endo Yamato x Togame Jou Classification: Polycule Ship Manifest Status: ★ Main Manifest Archive Wing: 09 - Wind Breaker
RESIDENT INFORMATION
MANIFEST SUMMARY
Core Dynamic: An extrovert accidentally collects two introverts, only to discover that one of them becomes just as loud and chaotic once she’s comfortable. Relationship Trope(s): The Chaos Instigator + The Quiet Observer + The Introvert Who Was Secretly a Menace All Along. Golden Retriever × Black Cat × Black Cat Who Occasionally Barks. “These are my people.” Overall Vibe: Late-night convenience store runs. Reading in comfortable silence. Endo talking enough for three people until Kazemi gets comfortable and suddenly he has competition. Togame quietly watching the other two create problems while pretending he isn’t fond of them.
COMPATIBILITY ASSESSMENT
Why They Work: Each of them fulfills a different emotional need without asking the others to become someone they’re not. Endo brings movement and excitement, Togame brings stability and quiet reassurance, and Kazemi bridges the gap between them—understanding both the need for adventure and the need for peace. Strongest Shared Traits: Fiercely loyal once attached. Comfortable with quiet companionship. Affection shown more through actions than grand declarations. Most Important Difference: Endo seeks out the world; Kazemi and Togame are content letting the world come to them.
DOMESTIC OBSERVATIONS
Who Cooks: Togame handles actual meals. Kazemi likes baking or making little treats. Endo is banned from unsupervised kitchen experiments. Who Cleans: Kazemi and Togame naturally tidy as they go. Endo gets “assigned tasks.” Who Wakes Up First: Endo, mostly because he simply has an idea and refuses to wait. Who Says "I Love You" First: Endo. Kazemi says it quietly later. Togame says it through actions long before he ever says the words. Who Reaches for the Other's Hand Automatically: Endo reaches first; Kazemi and Togame unconsciously hold onto him once he does. A Completely Ordinary Day Together Looks Like: Hanging out at someone’s place, one person reading, one person scrolling on their phone, one person talking about something ridiculous. At some point they leave the house for snacks, despite two-thirds of the group insisting they didn’t want to go anywhere.
HISTORICAL RECORD
How They Meet: How They Fall in Love: Slowly, through shared space more than dramatic moments. The relationship grows from simply existing together until one day they realize they’ve become each other’s first choice. First Date: Accidentally wasn’t called a date until much later. First "I Love You": Endo blurts it out without planning to. The other two need more time—but they stay, which says enough. A Defining Relationship Moment: The moment Endo realizes the quiet girl he thought he had to coax out of her shell is, in fact, just as chaotic as he is once she feels safe. Their Future Together: A quiet life interrupted by very loud decisions.
ARCHIVE NOTES
Pet Names: Shared Hobbies: Reading together, wandering bookstores or convenience stores, sharing music, people-watching, and simply existing in the same space. Comfort Routine: No pressure to talk. Sitting together, sharing snacks, reading or doing separate activities side-by-side until conversation happens naturally. Gift-Giving Style: Endo: “I saw this and it reminded me of you.” Kazemi: Thoughtful little trinkets collected over time. Togame: Practical gifts that quietly solve a problem. Favorite Tiny Detail: Kazemi and Togame can communicate almost entirely through eye contact, which drives Endo absolutely insane because he is convinced they’re having full conversations without him.
ASSOCIATED MEDIA
Primary Playlist: "Supporting Women's Wrongs" Instagram Page: "It was like buy one get one free" Photo Album: Pictured | Yakijo ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ Collected Works: "The Company We Keep" Associated Aesthetics: Chunky boots by the front door. Three convenience store drinks. A book left open on the couch. Someone’s hand reaching into frame. Lavender evenings. Convenience store lights. Oversized hoodies. Messy bookshelves. Found family. Soft grunge. Comfortable silence. Sudden bursts of laughter.
OFFICIAL SHIPYARD RECORD
Related Entries: Wind Breaker Dock, Kimato, Joana Archivist's Note: “Approved for permanent residence following repeated incidents of one extrovert adopting two introverts, the subsequent discovery that one of said introverts was secretly just as chaotic, and undeniable archival significance.”
REGISTRATION INFORMATION
Character(s): Kazemi x Togame Jou Classification: Solo Ship Manifest Status: ★ Main Manifest Archive Wing: 09 - Wind Breaker
RESIDENT INFORMATION
MANIFEST SUMMARY
Core Dynamic: Two people who fundamentally believe they are too damaged for healthy love slowly learning to trust the gentleness they find in each other. Relationship Trope(s): Childhood Friends • Friends to Lovers • Friends with Benefits to Lovers • Mutual Pining • Reunion Romance • Hurt/Comfort • “Right Person, Wrong Time” • Healing Together Overall Vibe: Quiet yearning. Bruised softness. Surviving together in dim lighting. A relationship built through shared silences, lingering touches, and becoming the only place the other person feels safe enough to rest.
COMPATIBILITY ASSESSMENT
Why They Work: They see the version of the other that existed before life hardened them. Where everyone else sees the intimidating gang member or the girl who keeps accepting pain, they remember the softer truths underneath. They become a refuge from the stories they tell themselves about being unworthy of love. Strongest Shared Traits: Fiercely loyal to the people they care about. Emotionally observant, even when they struggle to express themselves. Willing to carry burdens alone rather than inconvenience others. Most Important Difference: Togame believes he would ruin the people he loves; Kazemi believes being hurt is simply what she deserves.
DOMESTIC OBSERVATIONS
Who Cooks: Togame, or the two of them making something simple together. Who Cleans: Kazemi starts cleaning; Togame quietly finishes the parts she leaves half-done. Who Wakes Up First: Togame. Who Says "I Love You" First: Kazemi, accidentally, in a quiet moment she doesn’t realize is important. Who Reaches for the Other's Hand Automatically: Both. It’s become instinct before either of them notices. A Completely Ordinary Day Together Looks Like: Sitting in the same room doing separate things, sharing snacks, trading quiet comments, falling into comfortable silence, and eventually ending up leaning against each other without ever discussing it.
HISTORICAL RECORD
How They Meet: Childhood friends who grow up together before life eventually pulls them onto separate paths. How They Fall in Love: They reconnect years later to find that neither of them is quite the person they used to be. While Kazemi remains trapped in an unhealthy relationship, Togame quietly becomes the place she escapes to. Friendship turns into late nights, shared silence, and eventually a desperate friends-with-benefits arrangement that neither of them can honestly call casual. First Date: Neither of them is entirely sure which day counted. First "I Love You": Comes long after they both know. It slips out quietly and changes everything. A Defining Relationship Moment: One of them says, “You deserve better than me.” The other answers, “I deserve worse than you.” Their Future Together: Learning, slowly, that love is not something they have to survive. Building a quiet life where both of them can finally stop bracing for impact.
ARCHIVE NOTES
Pet Names: Shared Hobbies: Comfortable parallel play, late-night drives or walks, sharing music, existing quietly in the same space. Comfort Routine: Checking in after bad days, sitting together in silence, physical closeness without pressure, and the simple reassurance of “Text me when you get home.” Gift-Giving Style: Practical, thoughtful things. Replacing something that broke, bringing home a favorite snack, remembering tiny details the other person forgot mentioning. Favorite Tiny Detail: They communicate through touch almost as much as words—linked fingers, a hand on the shoulder, playing with each other’s hair, the unconscious habit of checking that the other person is still there.
ASSOCIATED MEDIA
Primary Playlist: "and I keep you" Instagram Page: “me and the bad bitch i pulled by being socially awkward…” Photo Album: Pictured | Joana ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ Collected Works: "The Space We Kept" Associated Aesthetics: Hands • Hoodies • Bruises fading • Tangled limbs • Sleepy selfies • Half-hidden faces • Quiet intimacy • Dimly lit rooms • Purple hues • Touch-starved romance • Refuge
OFFICIAL SHIPYARD RECORD
Related Entries: Wind Breaker Dock, Yakijo Archivist's Note: “Approved for permanent residence following repeated incidents of quiet yearning, mutual pining, unconscious hand-holding, and undeniable archival significance.”
REGISTRATION INFORMATION
Character(s): Kazemi x Kiryuu Mitsuki Classification: Solo Ship Manifest Status: ★ Main Manifest Archive Wing: 09 - Wind Breaker
RESIDENT INFORMATION
MANIFEST SUMMARY
Core Dynamic: A childhood friends-to-lovers relationship built on remembrance, quiet devotion, and the slow return of everything life convinced Kazemi to abandon. Kiryu spends years noticing the pieces of herself she hides away and gently creating space for her to reclaim them. Relationship Trope(s): Childhood Friends to Lovers. ENTP × INFP. Quiet Boy × Quiet Girl. Healing Through Tenderness. Mutual Pining. “I’ve Always Been Here”. The Boy Who Never Forgot. “I Remember Who You Were” Overall Vibe: Falling in love slowly on purpose. Shared drinks, long phone calls, flowers “just because,” linked hands, matching outfits disguised as coincidences, and a love that makes softness feel safe instead of embarrassing.
COMPATIBILITY ASSESSMENT
Why They Work: Kiryu has spent most of his life watching Kazemi love people completely, often at her own expense. Over time he becomes uniquely skilled at recognizing when she is shrinking herself to survive. Rather than trying to change her, he quietly creates room for her to return to herself. Meanwhile, Kazemi offers Kiryu unwavering loyalty, warmth, and a kind of wholehearted affection that makes him feel trusted, needed, and deeply understood. Strongest Shared Traits: Deeply observant and emotionally intuitive. Fiercely loyal to the people they love. They find meaning in small moments that other people overlook. Most Important Difference: Kazemi’s instinct is to carry burdens alone. Kiryu’s instinct is to notice when she’s carrying them.
DOMESTIC OBSERVATIONS
Who Cooks: Both. Kiryu frequently uses food as an excuse to make sure Kazemi has actually eaten. Who Cleans: Kazemi accidentally starts six projects at once. Kiryu follows behind restoring order. Who Wakes Up First: Kiryu. Who Says "I Love You" First: Kazemi blurts it out accidentally. Who Reaches for the Other's Hand Automatically: Kiryu. A Completely Ordinary Day Together Looks Like: Kazemi arriving after work exhausted, immediately stealing Kiryu’s Switch and flopping onto his bed to check on her Stardew Valley farm. Kiryu pretends not to be emotional about the fact she voluntarily picked up a controller. The evening is spent sharing snacks, talking about nothing important, and existing comfortably in the same space.
HISTORICAL RECORD
How They Meet: They meet as children and immediately clash. Kazemi challenges boys to races, wins, gets teased for it, and learns how to be mean right back. Kiryu finds her suspicious, stubborn, sensitive, and impossible to ignore. Somehow they keep ending up beside each other anyway. How They Fall in Love: Over the course of years. Through school lunches, phone calls, shared history, heartbreaks, growing pains, and a thousand ordinary moments. Kiryu watches Kazemi slowly lose pieces of herself to criticism, insecurity, and bad relationships. Kazemi watches Kiryu become the one constant presence who never asks her to be smaller. First Date: Something so casual neither of them realizes it’s a date until afterward. First "I Love You": A confession that had been living in both of them for years before either was brave enough to say it aloud. A Defining Relationship Moment: The first time Kazemi laughs after failing a game level instead of freezing. To everyone else it’s two words and a snort. To Kiryu, it’s proof that a piece of her has come back. Their Future Together: A life built from a thousand tiny kindnesses. Grocery trips. Shared apartments. Matching outfits disguised as coincidences. Long phone calls. Flowers on random Tuesdays. A home where neither of them has to earn being cared for.
ARCHIVE NOTES
Pet Names: My Love. My Lover. Pretty Girl. Sunshine Shared Hobbies: Gaming together. Wandering cafés. Trying new drinks. Window shopping. Flower shopping. Talking for hours about nothing. Collecting little routines. Comfort Routine: Kazemi sprawled across Kiryu’s bed while he games nearby. Sometimes she’s playing too. Sometimes she’s just talking. One hand inevitably ends up tangled in her curls while they drift between conversation and comfortable silence. Gift-Giving Style: Kiryu: Notices what is missing. Replaces it before being asked. Buys matching shirts to create excuses for Kazemi to wear dresses. Makes care feel casual instead of transactional. Kazemi: Grand gestures. Handmade meals. Thoughtful surprises. Gifts that say, “I know you.” Favorite Tiny Detail: Kiryu secretly owns shirts that match several of Kazemi’s dresses and pretends this happened accidentally.
ASSOCIATED MEDIA
Primary Playlist: "The way you deserve to be loved" Instagram Page: "You look like you've eaten the sun." Photo Album: Pictured | Kimitsu ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ Collected Works: "You Were Here" Associated Aesthetics: Shared drinks. Flowers. Tangled hands. Skating together. Sleepy couch cuddles. Grocery runs. Soft lavender. Sunsets. Healing love. Domestic romance. Handwritten notes. Sleepy cafes. Curly hair appreciation. Matching outfits. Learning to be cared for.
OFFICIAL SHIPYARD RECORD
Related Entries: Wind Breaker Dock Archivist's Note: “Approved for permanent residence following repeated incidents of recovered confidence, unnecessary flower purchases, coordinated outfits, prolonged phone calls, returned curls, reclaimed hobbies, and one resident spending years quietly returning pieces of the other that were never meant to be lost.”
REGISTRATION INFORMATION
Character(s): Kazemi x Kaji Ren Classification: Solo Ship Manifest Status: ★ Main Manifest Archive Wing: 09 - Wind Breaker
RESIDENT INFORMATION
MANIFEST SUMMARY
Core Dynamic: Two quiet people slowly becoming each other’s favorite place to be. Relationship Trope(s): Friends to Lovers • Mutual Pining • Introvert × Introvert • Slow Burn • Idiots in Love • Quiet Romance Overall Vibe: Shared headphones. Waiting for the train together. Sitting side-by-side without speaking. Becoming inseparable so gradually that neither of them notices they’ve fallen in love until everyone else points it out.
COMPATIBILITY ASSESSMENT
Why They Work: Neither of them demands that the other be louder, softer, or easier to understand. They communicate through presence more than words, building trust in a thousand ordinary moments instead of dramatic declarations. Kazemi draws Kaji gently out of his shell, while Kaji offers a kind of quiet understanding that lets her simply exist without expectation. Strongest Shared Traits: Both value quiet companionship over constant conversation. Both show affection through consistency and small acts of care. Both are hopelessly awkward when it comes to realizing their own feelings. Most Important Difference: Kazemi’s warmth and emotional openness gradually pull Kaji into the world, while Kaji’s steadiness gives Kazemi a place to rest.
DOMESTIC OBSERVATIONS
Who Cooks: Kaji, usually. Kazemi helps and keeps him company. Who Cleans: Kaji starts cleaning; Kazemi joins in after insisting she “was about to do that.” Who Wakes Up First: Kaji. Who Says "I Love You" First: Kazemi… probably by accident. Who Reaches for the Other's Hand Automatically: Neither at first. Then one day Kaji does it without thinking and neither of them recovers. A Completely Ordinary Day Together Looks Like: Walking home after classes, stopping by the convenience store, sharing snacks and headphones, sitting somewhere quiet while Kazemi talks about whatever is on her mind and Kaji listens with the occasional small comment, both secretly thinking this is the best part of their day.
HISTORICAL RECORD
How They Meet: Two introverts end up sharing the same spaces often enough that silence becomes comfortable before conversation ever does. How They Fall in Love: Very, very slowly. Friendship comes first. Then they become each other’s default person—the one they save a seat for, wait for after things end, text first, and instinctively search for in a crowd. By the time either of them realizes it’s love, everyone else figured it out months ago. First Date: Neither of them realizes it’s a date until afterwards. Probably an aquarium trip or a local event they were “just going to together.” First "I Love You": Quietly. No grand confession. More likely it slips out through something smaller: “I always feel calmer when you’re here.” A Defining Relationship Moment: The day they realize that sitting together in comfortable silence has become the safest place either of them knows. Their Future Together: A life built from ordinary things: shared apartments, late-night convenience store runs, playlists traded back and forth, small routines, and the comfort of always having someone waiting beside you.
ARCHIVE NOTES
Pet Names: Mostly each other’s names. The occasional quiet nickname slips out when they’re alone. Shared Hobbies: Listening to music, concerts, wandering around the city, aquarium dates, late-night walks, people-watching, parallel play. Comfort Routine: Sitting together with shared headphones or simply existing in the same room while doing separate things. Gift-Giving Style: Small, thoughtful things. Favorite snacks. Trinkets that reminded them of each other. Songs added to a playlist without explanation. Favorite Tiny Detail: They both get flustered and look away at exactly the wrong moment, meaning neither of them ever actually sees the other blushing.
ASSOCIATED MEDIA
Primary Playlist: "Quiet Voices and Loud Music" Instagram Page: "some hearts understand each other even in silence" Photo Album: Pictured | Reki ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ Collected Works: "Left Unsaid" Associated Aesthetics: Quiet train rides • Shared headphones • Lavender evenings • Bus stops after sunset • Aquariums • Concert crowds • Convenience store snacks • Parallel play • Friends to lovers
OFFICIAL SHIPYARD RECORD
Related Entries: Wind Breaker Dock Archivist's Note: “Approved for permanent residence following repeated incidents of saving each other seats, mutually catastrophic levels of oblivious pining, and undeniable archival significance.”
REGISTRATION INFORMATION
Character(s): Kazemi x Endo Yamato Classification: Solo Ship Manifest Status: ★ Main Manifest Archive Wing: 09 - Wind Breaker
RESIDENT INFORMATION
MANIFEST SUMMARY
Core Dynamic: Mutual fascination. Two people who knowingly hand each other matches and gasoline and decide to strike them anyway. Relationship Trope(s): Mutual Obsession. “This Is Probably a Bad Idea”. Voluntary Corruption. Playful Menace. Emotional Addiction. Black Cat × Black Cat (with one pretending to be a feral wolf) Overall Vibe: Intoxicating. Consuming. Hypnotic. A relationship built less on healing and more on complete immersion in one another. Not one person ruining the other, not one person saving the other—just two people becoming a little worse together because neither wants to walk away.
COMPATIBILITY ASSESSMENT
Why They Work: Neither of them asks the other to become smaller. Endo is captivated by Kazemi’s refusal to fear him, while Kazemi finds herself drawn to the strange, playful sincerity hidden beneath his unpredictability. Their relationship isn’t built on rescue or redemption—it’s built on attention. Endo keeps showing up because she’s interesting. Kazemi keeps pretending he’s annoying while quietly hoping he’ll come back. Strongest Shared Traits: A tendency to chase excitement and escalate together. Deep emotional intensity hidden beneath teasing and humor. A desire to experience life—and each other—at full volume. Most Important Difference: Endo instinctively leans toward chaos, while Kazemi recognizes the danger even when she willingly steps into it.
DOMESTIC OBSERVATIONS
Who Cooks: Kazemi. Endo is technically capable of helping but quickly becomes a distraction. Who Cleans: Kazemi starts cleaning. Endo follows her around talking instead. Who Wakes Up First: Endo, mostly because he never really went to sleep. Who Says "I Love You" First: Endo, casually, in the middle of an unrelated conversation. Who Reaches for the Other's Hand Automatically: Endo. Half affection, half unconscious need for contact. A Completely Ordinary Day Together Looks Like: Wandering without a destination, collecting little gifts and inside jokes, sitting somewhere quiet after dark, and ending up tangled together while pretending none of it means anything special.
HISTORICAL RECORD
How They Meet: Endo first notices Kazemi while infiltrating KEEL. She’s the unhappy, long-suffering girlfriend of Shingo Natori and seems perpetually irritated that this strange, smiling boy keeps appearing out of nowhere to bother her. She insists he’s annoying. Endo keeps coming back anyway. How They Fall in Love: It starts as a game neither of them admits they’re playing. Endo seeks her out because her reactions fascinate him. Kazemi keeps acting annoyed while secretly enjoying the attention. The routine becomes expectation, expectation becomes attachment, and one day they realize they have become each other’s favorite part of the day. First Date: Neither of them ever officially calls it a date. They just spend an afternoon together, then another, until the distinction stops mattering. First "I Love You": Dropped with complete casualness, almost as if it were an afterthought. Somehow, that makes it feel even more genuine. A Defining Relationship Moment: The quiet realization that neither of them is trying to fix or save the other. They’re simply choosing each other, fully aware that the attraction itself might be the dangerous part. Their Future Together: A life made up of late-night drives, impulsive decisions, emotionally loaded gifts, and a love that never quite loses its edge. The excitement never fades because, somehow, they never stop finding each other interesting.
ARCHIVE NOTES
Pet Names: Mostly teasing nicknames, interrupted by the occasional unexpectedly soft use of each other’s actual names. Shared Hobbies: Night drives. Wandering with nowhere to be. Sending each other things that reminded them of the other. Building entire conversations out of inside jokes and stolen moments. Comfort Routine: Wordless physical affection. Sitting close enough to touch. A hand around the wrist, the back of the neck, fingers laced together—small reminders that the other person is still there. Gift-Giving Style: Thoughtful in the most unhinged way imaginable. Endo remembers tiny details and gives gifts that feel deeply personal, indulgent, and emotionally loaded. To him, grand impulsive gestures are simply another way of saying, I thought of you. Favorite Tiny Detail: Endo says incredibly intense things with a smile, as though they are completely ordinary facts. Half the time Kazemi can’t tell whether he’s joking until she realizes he absolutely isn’t.
ASSOCIATED MEDIA
Primary Playlist: "u own me" Instagram Page: "drink poison from my lips" Photo Album: Pictured | Kimato ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ Collected Works: To Bear Your Fangs Associated Aesthetics: Blurry late-night photographs • Intertwined hands • Lingering touches • Close-up glances • Mutual obsession • Dark romance • Physical touch • Purple neon • Late-night wandering • Emotional addiction
OFFICIAL SHIPYARD RECORD
Related Entries: Wind Breaker Dock, Yakijo Archivist's Note: “Approved for permanent residence following repeated incidents of mutual fascination, emotionally compromising gift-giving, and undeniable archival significance. Initial records describe the resident as ‘annoying.’ Subsequent investigation determined she was simply waiting for him to come back.”
Desiderium
PRONOUNCED - des·i·de·ri·um | \desəˈdirēəm\ DEFINITION - an ardent desire or longing. especially: a feeling of loss or grief for something lost
PAIRING - Oikawa Tōru x Reader GENRE - Angst SYNOPSIS - You never did want to be pulled into the cycle of loving Tooru. You told him when you admitted to knowing that he liked you, you weren’t ready for a relationship. He didn’t listen. Wormed his way into your heart with his stupid moves that shouldn’t have worked. You dreamed of futures together, then one day... “Is this even worth trying to fix?” STATUS - UPCOMING NEXT UPDATE - JUL 25 TAGLIST - OPEN
PARTS - 18
00. Accismus
01. Two Week Notice 02. Abbreviate 03. When vs If 04. Better and Worse 05. That Much 06. I Always Knew 07. 20s 08. Life Lately 09. Dirty Laundry 10. iCloud Storage 11. Almost You 12. Survivor's Guilt 13. Strangers 14. Out of the House 15. Phantom Pain 16. Closure 17. 7 Stages of Grief
A/N - This was a therapy piece for me. I would like you all to know this will be very angst heavy. I love Oikawa, I really do, he was one of my first Haikyuu crushes and I kin him very hard. This was just my free therapy, however, because at the time I wrote this, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me with no warning the day before we were supposed to put in an apartment application together. This is how I coped.
Hate You, Hate Me
PAIRING - Tsukishima Kei x Reader GENRE- Smut, Angst SYNOPSIS - After reluctantly agreeing to go with your friend to a party thrown by your university's boys' volleyball team, you end up locked in a room with the boy you hate more than anyone else. Maybe you have something in common after all... STATUS - NEXT PART ON JUL 25 TAGLIST - OPEN
PARTS - 4
01. I Fucking Hate You 02. I Still Fucking Hate You 03. Tell Me You Hate Me 04. Alexithymia
A/N - My very first ever smut work <3 dear to my heart
apply for the @/hanmaitani taglist
okay. i started to rewrite stuff and i am going to put out the first two series masterlists tomorrow for the first series im trying to work on.
i forgot how scary posting was...
REGISTRATION INFORMATION
Character(s): Kazemi x Aiku Oliver x Shidou Ryusei Classification: Polycule Ship Manifest Status: ★ Main Manifest Archive Wing: 02 - Blue Lock
RESIDENT INFORMATION
MANIFEST SUMMARY
Core Dynamic: A retired defensive menace, a world-class center back, and the most unhinged striker alive somehow discover that they all speak the same language: soccer. Relationship Trope(s): Chaos x Competence x Chaos. Friends-to-Lovers. “I thought you were normal?” Entire Soccer Team in One Relationship. Two Boyfriends and a Former Sweeper Named Cujo. Overall Vibe: Late-night convenience store runs. Floodlit neighborhood games. Loud tactical debates during the World Cup. Oliver providing structure, Shidou providing mayhem, and Kazemi somehow encouraging both.
COMPATIBILITY ASSESSMENT
Why They Work: Each of them fills a different role without ever overshadowing the others. Oliver offers stability and quiet understanding, Shidou brings honesty and unfiltered passion, and Kazemi bridges the gap between them—matching Shidou’s energy while sharing Oliver’s tactical mind. Together, they create a relationship built on trust, competition, and a mutual appreciation for the beautiful game. Strongest Shared Traits: Fiercely loyal to the people they love. Deeply competitive, but never afraid of hard work. Communicate through teasing, banter, and acts of presence more than grand speeches. Most Important Difference: Oliver thinks problems should be analyzed. Shidou thinks problems should be headbutted. Kazemi thinks the correct answer depends entirely on whether the referee is watching.
DOMESTIC OBSERVATIONS
Who Cooks: Oliver (with Kazemi helping and Shidou “taste testing.”) Who Cleans: Oliver starts it, Kazemi finishes it, Shidou gets bribed into participating. Who Wakes Up First: Oliver. Who Says "I Love You" First: Shidou. Accidentally. Mid-conversation. Who Reaches for the Other's Hand Automatically: All three; whoever is closest. A Completely Ordinary Day Together Looks Like: Grocery shopping that turns into a debate over dinner, a local soccer game under the lights, and ending the night on the couch watching highlights while Kazemi and Oliver discuss defensive shape and Shidou complains that everyone should simply score more goals.
HISTORICAL RECORD
How They Meet: A chance late-night encounter at a convenience store leads to an unlikely friendship between three people who weren’t ready to go home. How They Fall in Love: One ordinary night, Oliver and Shidou accidentally discover that the quiet girl they’ve been spending time with is a former 14-year sweeper nicknamed “Cujo” who still plays neighborhood soccer for fun. It turns out they all understand the game—and each other—far better than anyone expected. First Date: An unplanned walk after midnight that somehow ends with convenience store snacks and sitting together under streetlights until almost dawn. First "I Love You": Shidou blurts it out before anyone is emotionally prepared. Oliver says it quietly later. Kazemi realizes she’d been saying it through actions long before words. A Defining Relationship Moment: The first time Oliver and Shidou stand at the fence of a local field and watch Kazemi take a shoulder challenge, win the ball cleanly, and casually reveal that “Cujo” was not, in fact, a joke. Their Future Together: A home that is somehow both peaceful and loud, full of soccer boots by the front door, late-night food runs, and at least one person yelling tactical advice at the television.
ARCHIVE NOTES
Pet Names: Cujo (affectionate), Pretty Girl, Troublemaker, Captain. Shared Hobbies: Soccer, late-night walks, convenience store snack runs, people-watching, and watching matches together. Comfort Routine: Sitting together after a long day, sharing food and talking about absolutely nothing until someone falls asleep on the couch. Gift-Giving Style: Oliver gives thoughtful practical gifts, Shidou gives things that simply reminded him of them, and Kazemi collects little keepsakes that become treasured memories. Favorite Tiny Detail: The moment Oliver realized Kazemi was a sweeper, Shidou realized she played like a menace, and both of them independently came to the conclusion that this was the coolest thing they’d ever seen.
ASSOCIATED MEDIA
Primary Playlist: "I Can Explain" Instagram Page: "not codependent but a committee" Photo Album: Pictured | Ryukioli ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ Collected Works: "By Association" Associated Aesthetics: Floodlit soccer fields • Convenience stores at 1 a.m. • Twin braids and muddy cleats • Sports drinks and shared headphones • Chain-link fences under stadium lights
OFFICIAL SHIPYARD RECORD
Related Entries: Blue Lock Dock, Oliki, Ryuna Archivist's Note: “Approved for permanent residence following repeated incidents of late-night convenience store gatherings, mutual soccer brainrot, and the discovery that one resident was a retired sweeper known only as ‘Cujo.’ The Shipyard Committee would like to clarify that tactical fouls are not, in fact, an officially recognized love language.”
REGISTRATION INFORMATION
Character(s): Kazemi x Shidou Ryusei Classification: Solo Ship Manifest Status: ★ Main Manifest Archive Wing: 02 - Blue Lock
RESIDENT INFORMATION
MANIFEST SUMMARY
Core Dynamic: Apex Predator × Attack Dog Relationship Trope(s): Enemies to Lovers • Rivals to Lovers • Recognition Through Conflict • Opposites Attract • “I Can Make Them Worse” Overall Vibe: Two instinct-driven people colliding headfirst and realizing the other one bites back.
COMPATIBILITY ASSESSMENT
Why They Work: Neither of them asks the other to become smaller. Shidou is fascinated by someone who isn’t intimidated by him, and Kazemi is drawn to someone who sees the ugliest, loudest parts of her and doesn’t flinch. Their attraction grows through challenge, competition, and mutual recognition rather than comfort. Strongest Shared Traits: Fiercely competitive and driven by instinct. Emotionally honest through action rather than words. Unafraid of intensity, conflict, or physicality. Most Important Difference: Shidou exists to break through barriers; Kazemi exists to become one. His ego is explosive. Hers is immovable.
DOMESTIC OBSERVATIONS
Who Cooks: Kazemi. Shidou hovers nearby and steals ingredients. Who Cleans: Kazemi tries. Shidou “helps” by creating three new messes. Who Wakes Up First: Kazemi, though she regrets it whenever she has to wake him up. Who Says "I Love You" First: Shidou. Absolutely zero hesitation. Who Reaches for the Other's Hand Automatically: Shidou, but Kazemi is usually the one who doesn’t let go. A Completely Ordinary Day Together Looks Like: Morning training, arguing over something stupid, turning a casual one-on-one into a full-blown competition, grabbing food afterward, and ending the night tangled together while pretending the argument from earlier actually mattered.
HISTORICAL RECORD
How They Meet: When Kazemi visits Blue Lock to support Bachira after he leaves home, she ends up meeting the other players during one of their rare breaks. After the boys invite her to practice with them, Shidou’s attention is immediately caught by the tiny defender with enough confidence to think she can stop the country’s best strikers. She proves she can. How They Fall in Love: They don’t. Not gently, anyway. They antagonize each other into attraction, every challenge and argument revealing another piece of themselves that the other refuses to run from. First Date: No one is entirely sure they realized it was a date. It probably started as an argument and ended with food. First "I Love You": Blurted out by Shidou in the middle of an emotionally charged moment, followed by Kazemi staring at him like he’d grown a second head. A Defining Relationship Moment: The first time a heated one-on-one on the field stops being about winning and becomes the moment they realize the line between wanting to fight each other and wanting each other is much thinner than either expected. Their Future Together: Loud. Chaotic. Competitive. The kind of relationship that makes outsiders nervous and the people inside it feel completely understood.
ARCHIVE NOTES
Pet Names: “Cujo” • “My Girl” • insults used with suspicious amounts of affection. Shared Hobbies: Soccer, training together, provoking each other, late-night city walks, turning everything into a competition. Comfort Routine: Existing in the same space after a long day without feeling the need to soften themselves for the other. Gift-Giving Style: Kazemi gives thoughtful, quietly personal gifts. Shidou gives whatever reminded him of her five seconds ago, usually with complete confidence that it’s perfect. Favorite Tiny Detail: Everyone else sees “Bachira’s childhood friend.” Shidou sees “that tiny defender wants to fight me.”
ASSOCIATED MEDIA
Primary Playlist: "and she hit him in the face" Instagram Page: "i don't get jealous..." Photo Album: Pictured | Ryuna ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ Collected Works: "A Thin Line" Associated Aesthetics: Chain-link fences • bruised knuckles • late-night city lights • collarbones and crooked smiles • rooftop conversations • soccer fields at sunset • instinct meeting instinct.
OFFICIAL SHIPYARD RECORD
Related Entries: Blue Lock Dock, Kichira, Ryukioli Archivist's Note: “Approved for permanent residence following repeated incidents of attempted homicide disguised as flirting, unchecked ego collisions, and undeniable archival significance.”