hannerrd

I'm just a post college grad trying to figure out this adult thing, and getting fit while doing it. Instagram: hannerrd

[hannerrd-blog]

There’s more to life..

So a few people that I’ve spoken to about quitting my job even though I didn’t find a job before I left are silently criticizing me about it. Even though it is kind of scary not having job right now since I left my job 4 days ago, I think it’s completely O.K. Some people have been really supportive about this decision and you know what..you can’t please everybody. It’s not as if I haven’t been searching and applying to jobs when I decided to leave my previous job. I have been actively searching and applying to jobs for the past maybe month and a half. It is not easy to find a job even if you have a degree. And just because you have a degree does not mean you’ll automatically get paid 40k+ a year. 

I left my job because it was making me unhappy. I didn’t like the hours, I didn’t like selling jewelry, I didn’t like the atmosphere..I just didn’t like it. Yeah making money is nice (i wasn’t even making a lot, fyi) but its not worth anything if you’re hating your life everyday. I disliked it so much that it was affecting my daily life outside of work and I didn’t want that happening anymore. Recently I’ve decided I want to continue working on my goal of helping people better their lives. I love learning about health, wellness and fitness and I want to share what I learn with others. Ever since I’ve become dedicated to bettering my life, working on being happier and becoming who I really want to be, I’ve wanted to help other people realize that they can do it too. I’ve suffered from sadness because I didn’t like who I was and that I wasn’t good enough. I know a lot of people suffer from that same thing and I just want to help those people out. If I stayed at my job just to make money, I wouldn’t be able to put forth the time to finding what is out there for me that can help me achieve my goal. I was working 10hrs a day stuck in a box which was very uninspiring. I know I could just push myself to see what else is out there, but I really believed that I needed to break away from it to pause..take a breather..relax..reset and recharge my mind.

Life isn’t about just making money and constantly making money. I left without job security because I didn’t want to apply to another job that I knew I would get but would also be something I didn’t like. I want to take steps towards what I want to do (right now). and the first step for me means detaching myself from what was bringing me down so I could come back stronger. So i could be happier with my life. I know that in time something good will happen. I just need to continue to work hard and keep seeing the light. And sometimes relaxing and doing nothing is exactly what a person needs. 

I’m really just trying to say.. don’t be afraid of change, don’t be afraid to take a chance, money isn’t everything, being jobless isn’t a bad thing, do whatever it takes to be happy, and everyone is on their own path..so make sure to keep following yours.

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😍 Just got this in the mail today and I totally love it! Thanks @apeathletics

Go follow my instagram: hannerrd

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Purchased the Carli Bybel palette today at Ulta! Can’t wait to try it out. I low key love make up and wish I were better at it haha but I’m always watching Carli’s youtube videos for tips, tricks and just entertainment. She really inspires me so I was really excited that I was able to pick this up and support her! can’t wait to open this up and try out all of these beautiful shades. Honestly, I’ll probably mostly use the matte shades because I’m pretty basic. But the shimmery ones will be fun to try for when I go out!

If you don’t know who she is (though I don’t know why you wouldn't because she has over 4 million subscribers lol) go check her out right now because she is a wonderful and inspiring gem by clicking the link below! 

As if she didn’t need anymore promotions, here’s another one just to make your life a little easier

https://www.youtube.com/user/CarliBel55

Also click this link below if you wanna try out some of the Lenny & Larry complete cookie, muscle muffin or brownie! They’re having a huge sale on the muffins and brownies right now! so go snag some :)

https://www.lennylarry.com/a/16596

& follow my instagram: hannerrd

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🍪🍪💪🏼💪🏼you can shape your body to what you want it to be with a wittle bit of exercise and determination ..and cookies.

So I'm just gunna put my $.02 in. Apparently there's some post going around about some guy saying women who do Crossfit or powerlifting have ugly bodies and a hashtag #tryagainchad in response to it. WELL..I'm not necessarily a powerlifter but I train that way and honestly, this is the happiest, healthiest and most comfortable I've ever felt in my own body And I've gotten plenty of compliments about it 💁🏻 there are some people out there who are insecure about their bodies so you can keep your negativity to yourself if you think muscles, strength and health are ugly bc we don't need any of those bad vibes. if you do any of those strength sports, keep on keeping on bc you're sexy af inside and out💋👑💪🏼

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I Quit My Job

Yes, I did exactly that. Yesterday was my last day at the jewelry store. A lot of people asked me why I left, and honestly it was mostly because I was just very unhappy with where I was. I love being around people and at the store, the only people I would really interact with were the customers. I like being active and sitting around 10 hours of the day while assisting customers every now and then was not really something I wanted to continue doing. There were some points where I would have anxiety while being at work and it started to affect my mood in and outside of the work place. I knew instantly that something had to change. Yes I’m a recent college graduate, yes I need to make money to pay my bills. But there’s no reason for me to work somewhere that was making me unhappy. So I decided to apply to other jobs but still put in my 2 weeks at my current job even if I didn’t secure a job else where. If there is one thing I learned from college it is that your mental health is equally as important as your physical health. 

Your mental health will greatly impact your relationships and how you interact with people. Have you ever noticed that if you’re unhappy, the way you carry yourself infront of other people is drastically different than when you’re feeling content or happy? I truly think everyone deserves to be happy. If something is blocking your happiness or piece of mind, do something about it. Don’t become content with feeling unsettled. You have the power to change your life and your mood. For some people it will just come easier, and that is okay. But really, don’t you want to become a better you? Each day, I take steps toward being a person I am proud to be, a person I am happy with. Each day, I take steps towards the kind of life I want to live..and 2 weeks ago that meant leaving my job.

So now I am unemployed because I still haven’t secure a job, and that is fine. I’m enjoying my first day of not working. I’m not super ecstatic to not be making money right now, but to have no obligations is nice. Try to think of it as a mini-vacation. For now, I will relax, but still grind and look for a job. I’m all about new experiences and I’m young! I don't have to work in a jewelry store forever. So I’ll take whatever life throws at me and continue to grow.

Thanks for reading -H.

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Washington DC!

Yes! but not really. So this past weekend I flew down to Washington DC to visit one of my best friends from college, Melissa. I haven’t really gone on vacation yet this year and I haven’t Melissa since she moved down after college (which was an entire year ago!) so I decided to just make my visit to her my vacation. It was short and sweet but we fit so much into the short time we had. 

I landed at Reagan National airport on Friday and we went out for dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings which is just a hop skip and a step away from her apartment. I haven’t seen Melissa in such a long time, but it felt like we’ve still been seeing each other everyday since we graduated. Even so, it was still nice to catch up and hang out. So we had dinner, then went back to her place to hang out, pregame and get ready to have a chill night out in Arlington. We went to a bar called Clarendon and saw a live band. I’m not sure what their name was but they were really good. I was really diggin their wide variety of songs that they covered. Melissa, her boyfriend and I met up with their friend Blake who is also from the same area I’m from in New York! That was pretty cool to meet a fellow New Yorker all the way in Arlington. As the night was winding down, some girl came up to me and asked me to take her to the bathroom. It brought me back to being in college where drunk girls and bathrooms were always really good talks and some heart to hearts. She sat on the floor and told me she felt stupid and lost her friends. So naturally, even though I wasn’t drunk, I still helped her find her friends.

The next day, we drove down to Maryland to spend the day at their friends’ house which is on the river. We went boating and I got soaked because while we were out, the weather started to turn a little ugly and the small waves turned into 3ft waves. After, we got to shoot some guns which was something I’ve never done before. It’s not that I’m afraid of them, I just have never had the opportunity to shoot one. Its not really something I’d go out of my way to do, so I shot two clay pigeons and some water bottles. It was actually quite fun and exhilarating. After eating and such, we headed back to Arlington to get ready to go out on the town. We went to a bar called Madhatter which turned out to be really fun. I caught some Pokemon while we were there haha. After we had enough of rubbing against people and photobombing couples, we went to this place called “&pizza.” I love pizza, and drunk pizza is no exception. I went for a plain, because as a pizza lover, you appreciate the simplicity of pizza as it is. No need for toppings or anything extravagant. On my last day, we did some touristy things. I haven't been into Washington DC since the 8th grade DC field trip which was quite a while ago. It was so nice to finally see all the places and monuments I’ve seen years ago, with new eyes. I really got to appreciate the sights and really learn what they are. Also being in such a populated place for a change was very nice. Getting to hang out with Melissa and Christian all weekend was so fun. I forgot what its like to hangout with friends, which is kind of sad. When you get used to being alone all the time, hanging out with people can be a little overwhelming. 

I love traveling and I can’t wait to do more of it. I’ve been thinking of moving, and part of my trip was to scope out the area. I definitely like Arlington and that its a small city where there are a lot of people at different ages. That is definitely something I need right now..but I still have time before I decide anything. For now, I’m glad to be home..Definitely excited to go somewhere new again though. 

Until next time!

-hannerrd

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Pulling 280lbs

So on Friday I went to the gym to do my usual program. My main movement was spoto press and then some accessories. I also had to program in some deadlifting because I skipped it the day before. 

I got to the gym and started benching and my friend Alex showed up who had to do some deadlifting. I did I think 85lbs for my spoto press which went pretty well. I need to bench more just to get used to the movement, but I’ve been feeling some improvements which is good. So I finished up my bench and figured before I go to my accessories I’d deadlift first. I honestly haven’t been deadlifting too much since I hurt my back about two weeks ago. If anything I’ve only been doing light deads once a week. I worked up to 205 for 3 sets of 4 which went smooth. Easy peasy..but I was feeling a little rusty. My hip flexors were wondering what I was doing 0.0 . But I wanted to have a little bit of fun with it after wards and just see what I could really pull for 1. So I bumped up to 235 I think for 1, then 265 which was a new PR for me. I knew I could go up a bit more so I went for 275 which wasn’t the prettiest but it wasn’t too bad. So 275 was another PR for me! My friend Alex of course asked if I had any left in the tank, so I set up for 280. I went up to the bar, took my breath and couldn’t lift it. As I was setting up, I thought about how hungry I was and was not tight at all to lift the bar. I knew I had it in me though, so I took a second and tried again. There was no way I was going to drop it. I set up, tried to stay tight and ended up locking it out. Since I put a bit more chalk on my hands (and there was some left on my legs from the other pulls), My ring finger and pinky got stuck on my left leg as I was pulling which made locking it out take longer than it could have. I’ve got the bruises on my leg to show for it -____- But nonetheless, I pulled 280 sumo for my new 1RM!! It got me amped and ready to really dive into lifting again. Next up: 3 plates, 315 sumo. If I’m consistent enough with my dieting and program I know I’ll get there soon. yay!

When I started lifting, I honestly never thought pulling 280lbs would be within my reach. Even though I haven’t been the best with following my program or eating the best, I really want to get stronger. For someone who is about 115lbs, 280 is A LOT. A few months ago, I was only pulling about 205 for my working sets and it was such a struggle. But slowly, I’ve been setting my priorities straight and lifting is one of them. If you really want something, go out and get it. It is yours for the taking. Your progress may be slow, but slow progress is better than no progress. 

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😛

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Trying to eat better, trying to be better

So for the past few months I’ve been in a slump. I think it was ever since I decided upon not going to graduate school in the fall that I’ve just been stuck with wondering what my next move should be. I don’t know about you, but to me it’s really scary and difficult not knowing what you’re going to be doing or where you will be. I’ve always been the type of person to know my heading. Go to college after high school for music ed, drop ed and switch to performance because I wanted to become a studio musician..put every ounce of my energy into playing, didn’t want to go to graduate school but decided to audition anyway because I still really wanted to become a better performer to become a studio musician..eventually decided to not go to graduate school, then decided to work and save up and move somewhere far and find a job and just live...but that heading now is just not enough. 

It has put me in this state where I’m just not moving..I’m not making moves to..well...MOVE. I. Am. Stuck. I’m not entirely upset but I’m not exactly happy either. The positives about this situation are: I don't have AS many bills to pay as if I were to live on my own, I’m making enough money to survive, I have a roof over my head. Honestly though, just waiting to save up money is driving me crazy. I’ve become so comfortable with what I’m doing that I honestly think it is driving me into a negative mind space. I don’t eat well, my training has been suffering because my mind isn’t in the right place, my body is tired all the time..it is just one negative after the other. Today when I went to the gym I really tried to do some deep deep breathing and telling myself I’m enough and that I can pull myself out of my slump. That it happens and I just need to get over it..but those feelings only last for so long until I start being negative again. 

But I’m tired of it. Something needs to change. My mindset needs to change and I am so ready to take steps towards being a better me and being happier. Times will always get tough at some point, you just need to remember that you’re strong and you can do anything you set your mind to and you can be whatever you want to be.

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Angles, bruh. Angles. #gotothegym Go follow me on Instagram 😊

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Changes

So I think I’m going to start blogging weekly just about my life. It'll be an outlet mostly for me because I don't really have too many people around to talk to, and it will give my blog more content than just me posting about random topics. 

So I’ve been going back and forth about competing at nationals in October. I’m around 117lbs right now, but I’m having some back issues so my lifts aren't progressing as much as I would like right now. I’m feeling pretty weak and unmotivated but I really do want to compete at some point. My weakest lift right now is my bench which is also where I’m least confident in. My upper body has just always been really weak so there’s no surprise to me. So I’m on the fence on whether I want to compete or not. Right now I’m in the mind set that I’m going to sign up next week, but putting all my energy towards October and putting my summer towards October is making me not want to do it.

I’m not too sure what my squat or bench 1RM is, but I’ve pulled 250lbs for sumo (not with a bad back :( ) decisions. decisions.

I just haven't been able to get into the zone during training lately. which is probably why my lifts feel so much harder than they should feel. ugh. Has anyone ever felt like that? they don't wanna do something they really like doing? :/

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New sports bras give me life 😌

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This video made me happy and sad. But more happy now that I think about it. I love watching people make something of what they have and just growing. Truly inspiring.

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Lenny and Larry flash sale!! 25% site wide!!

Lenny and Larry are having a thank you sale for reaching 100000 followers on their Instagram! For the next 24 hours Everything site wide will be 25% off!! Go get your cookies and muffins while theyre still at this awesome deal!

Go to https://www.lennylarry.com/a/16596 to save 25%

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My Lenny and Larry box just came in last night!! I ordered a 12pk of the Birthday Cake flavor. I've never tried it before so I was really taking a chance on getting 12 haha but they're absolutely delicious (double chocolate is still my fave). Until Sunday, Lenny and Larry is having a 15% off site wide when you use code NOTIES16. I'm a big fan of saving and getting 15% off is pretty good for these cookies and getting them in bulk. If you're a person who likes to stock up a bit, you can use code 10AMB50 to get $10 off your $50+ purchase, 20AMB100 to get $20 off your $100+ purchase, or 40AMB200 to get $40 off your $200+ purchase! Go to https://www.lennylarry.com/a/16596 https://www.lennylarry.com/a/16596 https://www.lennylarry.com/a/16596 https://www.lennylarry.com/a/16596 To get your deals!

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Moving?!

So I’ve been dancing with the idea for about the past month about moving out of my parents home! (Long story short, I graduate college last May and moved back in with my parents last august and have been home ever since.) I live in a small city which doesn't even feel like a city to me. There’s not really much to do around here and there aren’t too many jobs. For a 20something post-college grad, my town isn’t something to be too jazzed about. All of my friends from home have moved away, and this town is literally just shopping and eating. I want somewhere to hang out and explore, but theres nowhere for that here. On my days off, I shop. But when I don’t want to shop, I do nothing. I’ll do some cleaning and laundry of course, but there’s not much else to do. Initially my plan after college was to apply to graduate school and do that for the next two years but after taking auditions I realized school wasn’t where I wanted to be. Yes, having a job and just working to pay off bills sucks but I don’t exactly want to be in more debt than I already am either. I’ve thought and thought about it. A lot of people I have spoken to have said to just stay with my parents for as long as I can, and I am doing exactly that. But the longer I stay here, the more upset I get with how my life is right now. I feel like I’m not growing and like I’m not experiencing life the way I want to. I could very well move down to NYC and start a new life there, but NYC is not where I want to be. I’ve visited and I love walking around but it’s not a place I can make a living. I want to get out of New York and experience what other places are like. 

To get myself motivated and actually follow through with my plan, I’ve been looking into apartments in San Francisco, San Diego, and The DC area. After living in the north my 23 years of living, I think it’s time to be somewhere southern..somewhere warm. I’ve heard these three areas are really nice, and I also have some friends in San Francisco and the DC area. I’m looking to move some time in the spring of next year. I get really excited just thinking about it, but hopefully but putting the thought out there, I’ll really get to do it.

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It’s about 11PM right now and I’m winding down my day with some Crest white strips and about to read The Road. 

Today was the start of my week (work out-wise) and it went really well! I was thinking about taking a break from powerlifting and training in a more body building style for summer, but after a week off I was just itching to break in my belt and see how strong my body is. I like balancing aesthetics with strength, but I really do want my body to get stronger. I’m currently still following Jonnie Candito’s linear strength/control program. I really like it because it gives me the flexibility of picking my accessories and lets me have time for more volume sets after what is already in the program. I’ve struggled a lot with my body, but recently I couldn’t be happier with it. While I was still in school I made the decision to get into shape and I’ve never looked back. Really focusing on what you want to do and actually doing it is such a liberating feeling. If you want something, go get it. Go do it. No one is going to hand it to you. Once you get started, you won’t regret it. You’ll be a happier you. 

This photo is what I wore when I went out to do my errands..not to the gym lol