Sceptically Hopeful

Living as best as I can Nonbinary

[hiveswap]

[Doesnt do it] [gets stressed] [gets scared thinking about doing it] [doesnt do it because it's scary] [keeps not doing it]

[bandalbitch]

what would i Even dm my moots like Hello Internet Friend

[ilya-sweetheart]

hayden who is not grossed out when shane talks about his sex life because that’s his buddy! his best friend! and he loves gossip

“you know i can depthroat right?”

“dude - my guy- how the fuck do you do that, isn’t he like enormous?”

“yep, like 9 inches”

“fuck me man, i gag brushing my teeth idk how the hell you do it…think you’d give jackie some tips IM JOKING i’m joking!”

[shanesloverboy]

Ilya Rozanov's freak husband btw

[lowcenterofgravity]

SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM

[bambicoded]

shane getting high or drunk and not being able to get it up but begging ilya to use him anyway send tweet

[khaleesiofalicante]

i laughed for a good five minutes 🤣🤣🤣

[puckwanger]

— dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

[gaygoatshane]

shane hollander size queen

[emmiegoesinsane]

shane when he joins the ottawa centaurs:

[notahungrywish]

Love how much the show specifically refuses to engage in the pseudo recreation of hetero gender roles when it comes to queer relationships and bottom/top dynamics.

For ethical and queer rep reasons but ALSO because this means Shane can and potentially would just body people even off ice. Incredible. Ilya would instantly come in his pants and so would I.

Imagine Ilya gets a little Too Much. Like he’s just running his mouth so much or trying to fight someone especially out in public and Shane just…picks him up and slings him over his shoulder real casual. “Bye guys sorry about my husband.”

They’re doing the push pull thing they do as foreplay and instead of just getting back with a “fuck you” like usual Shane decides to pick him up off the ground and pin him again a wall. Just to see what will happen. And what happens is Ilya brain leaks out of his ears.

Guy at a bar is being racist to Shane and Ilya gets up to go beat his ass because Shane is too good and pure to throw a punch out of anger usually but before he gets there Shane has just grabbed him by the shirt and is lecturing him about not being a dick while his feet kind of dangle off the floor.

[notahungrywish]

Revisiting this because I have a loose WIP where post-cottage long distance Ilya decides to surprise Shane. So he uses the key Shane made him to let himself in waiting for Shane to get back from practice or a meeting. And whenever he hears Shane at the door he decides it will be fun and cute to literally surprise him by kind of popping out from behind the door like “surprise!”.

And then the next thing he knows he’s been slammed into the wall, feet barely touching the ground, something metal and sharp pushing against the side of side throat. And then he’s just staring at Shane who’s staring back at him in shock, and it turns out it was just keys but like holy shit Shane were you going to shove your key through someone’s carotid artery??

And Shane’s like I’m so sorry! I thought you were a burglar! What are you doing here??

And Ilya’s like I came to surprise you Jesus Christ RIP to any burglar who tries to break into your place.

But Shane’s still kind of got him up against the wall and when he goes to let Ilya loose they realize Ilya’s like super hard and he has an Idea.

Cut to smut.

[enki2]

[anxietyproblem]

[c24c24]

Ilya after an Ottawa vs Boston game “Sorry boys, I can’t go out tonight. The old ball and chain wants me home.”

“…You mean Hollzy?”

“First of all, Shane would never chain me down, he picks me up he is the wind beneath my wings. He is the light of my life my moon and my stars. He doesn’t bring me down, he raises me up. Don’t you dare ever fucking suggest that again. I meant Cliff Marlow. We’re cooking him dinner.”

[heatedrivalryfanarts]

@ardeniart

[kaijuerotica]

much like everyone simultaneously going "ilya rozanov wears lightning mcqueen crocs" a bunch of us keep independently saying "ilya would be incredibly horny for shane in scrooge pajamas" and that's honestly so fucking funny

[themoonandmyman]

because both are objectively true

[shaneposting]

they’re trying to do a cnc home invasion scenario but shane comes out of the bedroom looking like this and says ‘who goes there’ and ilya comes instantly

[hiveswap]

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis