Hope
Contain warning: self-loathing, suicidal thoughts, spiraling
Grace Ashcroft survived a nightmare that has destroyed so many lives. She escaped but not unscared, what happens when the scars start bleeding?
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Her ‘home’ was as empty as ever but darker than she remembered
Let’s play
She stood frozen on the door of her apartment, the girl is gone, she can’t get you, she gone…she is gone, she was only a child, she didn’t deserve that
And you killed her
No, I didn’t have a choice
Keeping telling yourself that
Her feet growing a mind of their own remained exactly where they were, “Miss is anything wrong” she jumped a little completely forgetting about the agent beside, shit I must look like an idiot, “Uh-um-no-o I am fine” great, just what she needed right now, embarrassment,which fueled her to take a step in, say thank you to the guy Grace,
“Th-Thanks” “Just doing my job” she nodded, atleast someone knows professionalism, she closed the door to reduce any other interaction. Now she stood in complete darkness, no no no no no no no, before she would comprehend her moves she was running around the tiny room apartment turning on every single light available, even the bathroom, she step on all the things she had left behind and something stung her feet, she worry about that later. Soon she was standing in front of her kitchen, it was the only one left
Click Click
It doesn’t work, guess not going in there, are we. She slumped on the couch landing on some clothes and a charger? Anyways the apartment was luminated and silent, no hissing no screaming, it was just her, it is just her…now she laid face first on the couch, her whole body hurts, being tossed and thrown around like a rage doll is not fun, she is surprised she can still walk,, the last 48 hours were…what do you call it? Gruesome, horrifying, total batshit carzy… yeah that accurate, it started from a rusty burned down hotel to a secret bio-terrorist base in the ruins of the city where it all began, that place must be cursed. She had seen a lot in these 48 hours, zombies, monsters, scientists, killers, agents and a child, quite a bunch isn’t it? Emily… she is going to be fine, maybe she will get to meet her again, maybe take her in? Only if she wants to see her again… she hopes she does…
“What do I do now?” she asked the cushions, and they didn't answer, thank god that would be another problem if they did. As the adrenaline wore off realisation settled in, “I am adopted” she said to the thin air, that logical didn’t seem like a problem, but she was adopted by a narcissistic mad scientist who called himself Lord, the same person who started this bio-weapon program, “I was his atonement” she feels sick, like being reduced from a person to an object, after all the destruction that he caused, Elpis was his duty, nothing noble… but her… there was no reason to be conflict, Alyssa, might not be her bio-mom, she is the mother Grace grew up with, she was there for her when she had no one, that was the logic of the matter but emotions, they don’t work on logic, they have a mind of their own, they do whatever the fuck the want, and they did. Tears started to pour out of like a dam broke inside her, she was crying-no-wailing in the solitary of her apartment, her sobs were so loud that someone might file a noise complaint, but she couldn’t stop, it is just too much to bear, too much to bear all alone, she was alone, and she deserved it, she deserved to be locked way, not Emily, she deserved a hatchet to her neck, not her mother, she deserved the pain and guilt, not some like Leon who has done shit in his life, not like her sitting in corner watching people get what she deserved-”Ah!” there was a sharp pain coming from her core, it was unbearable, good she deserved this pain.
It took her an embarrassing amount of time to identify that she was hungry, great she left her brain back at ARK.
The ARK, what if she had destroyed Elpis… Leon would be dead, he too would die trying to save her, just like her mother, and just like then it would be all her fault. Only if she never have had that panic attack, her mother would still be alive and she would never let any of this happen, the experiments on Emily would never have taken place, she would have never been kidnapped and Leon would have never followed her back to his nightmare, not even one of them would through all that shit, it’s her, she is the problem, it all her fault!! Now she was having another of those stupid attacks, heaving like an idiot, clutching onto herself, why didn’t I just die…
Ring Ring
“Hello… is anyone there??”
“Grace?”
It was an old, wary voice, Mrs. Fawn, her 80 year-old neighbour. Why was she at her door? She tries to get up, a sharp searing pain stops her in her tracks, the world is spinning and she is sinking in, no no no no no I need to get up…
THUD
Beep Beep
“Ouch”
Her head felt heavy, is this what being ran-over felt like? She tried and failed to open her eyes, she must have slept for a long time, can’t remember when was the last time she did that. After a while she was able to command her eyelids to move and regretted it immediately, bright lights hung above her on a plain white ceiling made square tiles
Beep Beep Beep Beep
She turned her head towards the sound, she couldn’t see much, maybe she didn’t have her lens on. She squinted to clear her vision…it was a heartbeat monitor… it was a heartbeat monitor… she was in a hospital, she was in a hospital. Her heart was fighting to rip out of her chest, the monitor picked its movement beeping intensely. SHE HAS TO GET OUT ignoring her body’s protest she got off the bed ripping the IV tube from her arm staggering to the door, this won’t happen again, no no no no no no it can’t happen again the heartbeat monitor gave a flat line its voice echoing through the room, the smell of medicine and bandages was a cruel reminder of the horrors she faced not even 24 hours ago, how is she back here?? Her steps were slow and painful, her head was not on her side, amplifying every little detail that would only mean one thing, they were not done with her, she needs to find a way out, how will she do this alone, will her boss notice…this time? She wouldn’t bet her marbles there. She finally reached the door, she turned the handle and all the pain was worth it when it opened the door, at least she was not locked. The halfway was quiet and the distinct hospital smell lingered around, there no one was here? This is a very bad idea, but she did it anyway, she ran using whatever strength she had left, her feet were burning with pain, her head had given up on her long ago, somewhere in her lower abdomen she felt being torn apart. It was so close, she will leave this place once and for all. The double door burst open and there were people now staring at her, nurse and doctor, as she halted,her body gave up. She fell, they rushed forward, no no no no no… they can’t catch her, no no no no not again I can’t do that again I can’t please, she tried to crawl away but it was so hard to do so. They got her, they were dragging her back to the room… “Please! No don’t th-this… ple-please…I-I am begging you” she was crying whatever will she had remaining in her was used to get out of their grasp. Tears were rolling down her check, now her eyes burn too, no Grace you can’t give up, think of Emily you have to get out. So she put up a fight, elbowing one of them, kicking the other and just using her body weight to unbalance them, and she succeed, she fell to the ground crawling away from them, all her energy was sucked right out of, she looked back to see her progress only to see a trail of blood, was that hers? She will never find out as she knows she can't get away, not now, she is going to die here.
I probably deserve this
“You just can’t stay out of trouble can you?”
Did she travel through a wormhole… her eyes… oh not again…someone else was here…she has heard that voice somewhere… but where? Through heavy eyelids she scanned the room, she couldn’t see anyone, but she couldn’t move her head much so… it was still the same ceiling. Okay no rash decisions this time, she will get out. Her determination was worth a round of applause, because physically it seemed impossible to move at all, but she has too and she will. First step, get up, she couldn’t move… her hands were tied somewhere, shit shit shit shit, panic started to rise in her, she tugged at the restraints desperately, the heart rate monitor beeped dramatically. She was stopped, by force, someone was holding her still. She tried to look at them, her vision was blurry, still. “Hey calm down, you are going to be okay” she heard that somewhere, she tried to focus, the face felt familiar, but she couldn’t place it properly, she tried to break free, but it was no use whoever this was they were strong… the voice sounded like a man’s… “Grace, it's me Leon” Leon…Leon! He is here too!! Oh no… well he can help now “W-we ne-need to l-leave-” she tried to get up but he pushes her gently back to her place “Grace, we are not in the care center” what then were? “W-what are you sa-saying?” “Grace the squad went to check on you, and found you passed out bleeding on your floor” he still had his hands on her shoulder “S-so th-theres no d-danger?” he sighs pulling his hands to his side “No” she sunk down on the pillow, looking back at the ceiling. She had hair in her eyes from all that shifting, she lifted her hand only to be stopped by the restrain, she looked at Leon asking him without words “You tried to ‘escape’ and I have to say you put up a good fight, unfortunately you popped your stitches a second time” she notice how he said escape, oh god she is an idiot “Are the staff injured…did I hurt them?” she whispered stopping herself from crying, no don’t cry in front of someone! “Hey they are fine and it’s not your fault these painkillers are pretty solid” she laughed not at the joke but at herself, how stupid would she have to be! Drunk on painkillers?! “You are not the only one who has done that” she hoped she looked annoyed but knew that was probably not what she looked like right now “I have a record myself, don’t even think of competing” his tone seemed humors but she could identify the worry behind it, she knew this avoidance all too well.
She wanted to know more about it but didn’t want to press either “When I first woke up after… the incident… in the government facility… their painkillers were brain damaging… I attack the doctors… two of them had to seek medical attention… that was not the last time it happened…” he was staring at the floor, she felt bad for making him do that, but didn’t stop him either, her curiosity wining against her empathy “You don’t have to worry about it, I have got you, okay” he was looking her in the eye which she found difficult to hold but she did. In them she thinks she saw something, something she hadn’t seen for years, 8 years to be exact. It was overwhelming but she didn’t break the contact, a few seconds later he did. She has no idea how long they sat in silence, he didn’t leave, which in any other circumstances would be a gesture she wasn’t fond of but this was not her daily life, maybe it was now and somehow that wasn’t frightening… “Hey, when can I take these off” she pulled at the restraints yet again “Let me get a nurse and check if the drug has worn off” this was the first time he left her since she woke up. Grace was an analyst, she can very well track patterns and this is so similar to… a nurse entered with Leon behind her. He took his previous position as the nurse checked her. She seemed distant and a little scared, oh no what on Earth did she do? “All good” she said and rushed out “Let me help you” Leon got hold of her restraints and undid them. Did make much of a difference she still felt like shit, now with more mobility unlocked “Grace can I ask something of you?” He looked sad… “Yeah” god why does she sound like a little girl! “You can decline if you want… but I would like to remain in contact with you, I know what you are going through right now, I have walked this path before and I can help you, things won’t become easy but… I won’t let it get worse, I promise, that is if you agree” now she was crying, she couldn’t stop, she was always afraid of being abandoned, of making the wrong decision…but that nightmare has taught her something, she has to move forward and she will. So while she had a million questions in her head and even more doubts she said “Thank you, I think we should, I am clearly a danger to myself” he laughed and leaned back in his chair, “Oh kid you don’t know ‘danger to oneself’ lucky for you I have got a manual”
God is that a dad joke?
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This is my first Resident Evil fanfic. This has been sitting in my docs for so long, so why not let it see the light of day. I have no beta readers nor english is my mother tongue so if there is any mistake point it out (if you want) kindly and politely.
Grace doesn't know this but Leon has adopted her, and the series of Dad jokes will never end, and Grace don't talk to your old man like that he has been through a lot
