"(which, alongside yuri, having been picked up as The Words for queer stuff right now is really. Interesting to me in certain ways but I wont go into my thoughts on that in this ask though it is sort of related)"
curious what the context to this was if your willing to share your thoughts...?
Bit of etymology first. So, yaoi and yuri don't mean 'gay love' and 'lesbian love'. In fact, they're not even complimentary terms to each other.
Yaoi is a portmanteau of 山なし、落ちなし、意味なし (yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi), which means 'no climax, no point, no meaning'. It came about as a sort of ironic way to refer to self published works (doujinshi) that focused on male/male content that just focused on sexual content, with no interest in story, narrative, or character. It is specifically associated with male/male content written by and for women for titillation, not so much story, in a kind of self-deprecating way. Yuri, meaning 'lily', came about in relation to female/female romance stories as a counterpart to Bara ('rose') referring to male/male romance stories, which stems from the first real gay-media-focused Japanese magazine being called Barazoku (sort of 'rose tribe'). It does have a more specific usage towards very beefy, masculine gay men, whereas BL (boy's love) is a more general term nowadays.
So they don't literally mean queer couples in the way they're commonly used in western conversation, they're moreso genre labels. They were adopted when the english-speaking audience began getting into anime generally and did become more of a general terms for those configurations of queer relationships over here somewhat.
Over the past few years those terms have escaped anime fandom almost entirely. You'll see people talking about real people, Minecraft streamers, live-action TV, films, original characters, basically anything. 'Yaoi' has stopped meaning 'this specific genre of Japanese media' and has become shorthand for 'two guys with any sort of romantic or sexual tension'.
And I don't think that's a bad thing necessarily! Language changes all the time, and queer people use the words jokingly too. What I find interesting is the way it's being used in the MCYT space.
The use of 'yaoi' I think is allowing people to turn the concept of queerness into a genre label rather than actually adressing the topic of queerness and queer stories. They're not doing something queer or acting gay, they're 'doing yaoi', it's own, marketable little thing. It creates a bit of distance between the actual concept of queer people existing and what they're doing.
That's kinda what I'm noticing in the MCYT space. Creators aren't really talking about queerness as an identity or as relationships between actual people, they're 'doing yaoi'. It's almost a euphemism, or a seperator, or an abstraction. They can keep it being a joke.
I don't think using the word 'yaoi' caused any of this, obviously. It's more that I think the word becoming so widespread is a symptom of an attitude where queerness is profitable and marketable to these streamers, but still a joke, and still something they want to seperate themselves from the reality of. So utilising a foreign word where the meaning is obscured for most people and it just Sounds Different allows them to keep that distance. It sounds fictional.
Compare 'they're being gay' versus 'it's yaoi', you know? They don't feel like they're talking about the same thing.