Harl3y Related Problems @harl3ys - Tumblr Blog

I shouldn't post things when I'm emotional. Everything comes out and you can see me raw. Like a open book. I'm not one.

I feel as if everything is always mytfault. Like I asked to feel like shit. I asked to be shut out of all the drama. Every fight is my fight. I started it all. I wish I could get over it. And ebey little sentence didnt take me back.

Its not true. I always go back. It always hurts. I'm never gonna be over this. I'm always gonna cry.

Hate them for not undertansing. I hate everyone for not understanding. I hate them all for never being there for me. They never cared about Me .no one ever did. Its just me against. The world. Like always.

I'm gonna die in pain and nobody will ever come until it's too late. They don't care. They do what they want.c

I wanna know what it feels like to have someone want you. To think that there is someone who is out there for me is complicate and utter bullshit. I hate everyone and everyone hates me. Thubga are better this way.

trivialblog

lets play “did that childhood memory actually happen or did i just dream it”

Shattering my Trust

So the very thing I've been afraid of my whole life happened. Well not the most but the one that has been the cause of my nightmares. The fear of it getting out. The fear of my secret be repeated. As if it no big deal. Yeah. It's out there for the world to know. Tell me how does one trust anybody if you can't say something to one person without them telling the whole fucking world. Like seriously? Why? Why? What ever did I do to deserve such disloyalty? Why? You weren't doing it to "save me" so why say anything anyway? Why? It wasn't yours to share yet you still did. You claim no fault in any of this but what you did was wrong. It was oh so wrong. You wronged me in a way I don't see is ever forgivable. I told you. I trusted you. Why? Why could I be so stupid? I trusted a snake and that's putting it nicely. You're so quick to turn the other cheek and blame every one else for what you did. NO!! YOU ruined my trusted you betrayed ME. Not the other way around. I wish I could express exactly how I feel.. it's as if I'm crushed, broken, flatten, deflated, raw even like I don't know how to get passed this. How do I over come this? How do I fix this? I did nothing wrong yet here I am always paying for this mistake. Ugh!! This has been the worst week or two since as long as I can remember.. like why? Why? Why? Why? When am I ever gonna be free?

#letting go

#y3lrah confession #confession

Haunting my dreams

I couldn’t sleep last night.. nightmares plaque my dreams. I’m afraid to fall asleep tonight. What if they come back? What if ***** comes back? I swear I thought I was done with this. I thought I had made it to the land of peaceful slumber. I guess I was wrong. It keeps coming back every night the same face haunts me. I can’t seem to be rid of it. It comes for me and I wake up startled as if I need to reach under my bed for the my “escape”. For years I sleep with it under my mattress from sheer terror that my nightmares would become my terrifying reality. I just wanna sleep. I wanna be free. Sometimes I wonder if I was attracted to females my lies would be so much easier to go by. My secret would be safe. No one would wonder nor question me as to why I always take a step back and walk away before.. I just wanna be rid of ***, of it. I want to sleep. I want to be free. I want to be okay. Not happy but okay. I just want it all to be over. Why cant I have that? Haven’t I had to deal with it enough?

#confession of the night #story of my life #harl3y #i am charlie #i've been drinking