Not my circus! (Tfc x reader)
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Chapter 19: Ring Ring goes the telephone
__Before starting! Warning! WARNING!
From this chapter on, things WILL get ugly and dark DARK. But REALLY dark. I'm talking about Chainsaw man level of dark. It won't be NSFW but it WILL be disturbing nonetheless and the warning at the starting of the fanfic will be heavily applied.
PLEASE, I ask of you, if you are under age this is not the content for you. I know I can't physically stop you from continuing to read this, and I know that you think you have seen worst but, first of all, the VN was thought for an adult audience, it has adult themes AND SO IT WILL HAVE THIS FIC FROM NOW ON.
Out of respect for me and Neko, if you are under 15 (at least) the fic is over for you now. The MC decided that the Circus life was not that bad, the Circus crew welcomed them with open arms and they all went to see Livia graduation. Happy ending!
Because from here on its gonna be heavy. Angst! Angst! Angst! Trauma! Angst! Angst! You are gonna hate your favorite character, I can assure you that.
This will be your only warning. Don't get caught being a minor and for God's sake dont comment your age__
Two sharp eyes stared down at you, hate visible behind the sunglasses covering them while fierce red lips were pulled into a nasty snarl. You nervously toyed with the rim of a chalice, the water inside swirling slowly as your eyes followed the movement rather than settling on the older woman sitting in front of you.
How. . .How did you end up in a situation like this?
Before Livia’s parents divorced, you used to come to this house rather frequently but since Ciela moved it, she had made it extremely clear that you weren’t welcomed in. You never liked the woman. Livia never liked the woman. Your parents never met her before the. . .point is. No one ever liked this woman.
It’s a wonder why Livia’s father even ended up marrying her.
And Ciela never liked you.
Yet there you were, sitting on her luxurious couch, drinking from her luxurious glasses, breathing her luxurious air, being in her luxurious sight. And you were a mess at the moment, a very nervous mess. Because this woman could be really terrifying when she wanted–no wonder she is a rather successful business woman with that cold stare of hers. Even you would obey her orders without question.
“You are here” she finally said, placing her wine chalice down on the coffee table diving you two with a soft *Cling*. A cold statement. Not a ‘Thank you for your time’, or a ‘How has the journey been?’ nor a simple ‘Thank you for coming after I called you in an ungodly hour’.
Not that you expected anything really, but still.
The urge to whip out some sarcastic remark was strong, but you bit down your tongue and nodded, subtly searching with your eyes to catch a glimpse of Livia somewhere “That I did” Ciela hummed, opening her fan in a way that covered your vision– of course she knew what she was doing and soon enough your attention was back on her.
“I called you here to discuss some. . .things about you and my. . .step-daughter” at her words, you felt yourself tensing, wondering what the witch may be planning now “As you might know, however I have my strong doubts about that, since joining this family I had tried to mend all that mess the previous. . .Lady left in my care. Such an undisciplined child was O’Liva when I arrived. . .not a pinch of respect nor politeness in that girl”
You still remember when you were thirteen and Livia’s step-mother just entered the picture, how much she cried on your shoulder asking why on earth was this new woman so mean to her? Why was she so harsh and strict and criticising her constantly.
Ciela never lifted a hand on Livia, but she never had to.
Then there was the fact that she hated Livia’s birth mother for whatever motive, but you guessed that just a common factor with new partners and exes or something like that. More often than not, she blamed all the family problems on her and openly bad-mouthed her in front of Livia herself.
“That’s to say” Ciela brought the wine glass to her lips, taking a sip “I no longer want you and her to interact”
You must have heard wrong, yes. . .Ciela says weird things so this must be another one of them. Because you haven’t just heard her tell you to stop being friends with your Livia.
“Do not look so confused ____, I haven’t used words that aren’t above the elementary comprehension level. I did hope you could at least understand them, was I wrong?” Ciela narrowed her eyes just as you quickly shook your head “No, I did hear you Miss Ciela, it’s just. . .excuse my vulgar language but I’m seriously hoping you are joking right now” as expected you were totally opposed to this request.
The older woman kept her eyes on you before slightly tilting her head down “I do not joke, ____. As a matter of fact I should've had this conversation a long time ago” she then pointed one of her long nails toward you “I worked so hard to fix the mistakes of that woman, to make sure that O’Livia could have a proper successful life. The world out there is cruel and harsh to women like her”
Her tone got firmer but never louder “Polite, smart, a good career, I thank the stars all the days that she willingly chose the medical field. One less hassle to deal with at least. . .yet. . .yet there was still something. . .something that kept tainting her life” her eyes narrowed dangerously “You”
Your heart missed a beat for a second, dread and anger washing over you at the same time while a sense of deja-vu knocked on the door of your memories.
Ciela scoffed, leaning back on her couch “Why she is keeping you in her life is a mystery to me, especially when all you are doing is dragging her down” your fingers curled in your lap from frustration, teeth biting harshly the inside of your cheek “You are nowhere near the standards I placed for her. . .too rowdy. . .to impulsive. . .too much of a punk. Look at those injuries. Do you perhaps pick fights? How do you pretend of me, a mother, to be okay with such knowledge”
You hung your head further down, your hair framing your blank expression as she just went on and on berating you without missing a beat and the worst part? Is that you can’t blame her. You can’t say that she was lying because it is true that you are too rowdy. It is true that you just picked a stupid fight because you childishly wanted to take revenge.
It is true that you are not a good friend.
“And dear O’Livia started picking after you! At this rate she will soon leave medic school so near her graduation and go who knows where! You are like a curse. Making the worst out of people come out”
It is true that you are a bad person.
“I. . .I learned my lesson. . .” you tried to weakly argue back, trying to explain that you finally saw your mistakes and that you won’t repeat them. Those days are over, you. . .you can be a good version of yourself and won’t be a burden further “I’m not. . .gonna pick fights–”
“That won’t be enough!” Ciela cuts you off harshly, making you flinch “No, no, you already have done enough damage good lord. To think that a sweet girl like O’Livia would do something as rebellious as running away mere nights before her finals! She must have learned that from you, stars” she sighed in exhaustion, pinching the bridge of her nose with a shake of her head.
You froze in your spot, snapping your head up with wide eyes and shock written all over your face “She. . .ran away? What do you mean Livia ran away?!”
Ciela clicked her tongue and scoffed “Out of all the bad habits you had to imprint on her it had to be running from home. . .when she was underage it was easier to deal with. But now that she is an adult the police won’t listen to me since she is ‘capable of making her own decisions’. . .but I know that you have something to do with it. So tell me.” then glared at you, such a glare that almost made you curl on yourself.
“You better bring O’Livia back here in time for tomorrow. I know you know where she is. . .and so god help me, if she fails her last exam about medicine I will make sure you fail in life. And after that. . .”
“Stay out of her life forever. You are nothing but a disgrace”
Leaving that house once brought you a sense of sadness, knowing that playtime was over, but now? Now you felt nothing more than a hollow shell. The power that woman had on people needed to be studied because you didn’t feel like a person anymore. She destroyed you from the inside out. . .and she didn’t even have to use force.
You were left to look at your tired expression on the mirror of your bike as a strom of thoughts slammed on the walls of your mind. What if. . .What if Ciela was right? After all, didn’t Nate also say something similar? That you were a curse? That you were dragging Livia down? Maybe. . .Maybe she would be better without yo–
WOAH THERE! Slow down with that sentence! Now it’s not the time!
Livia ran away who knows where.
Your house couldn’t be. It burned down after all. So she must have gone somewhere else. . .but where exactly?
Mulling over the possibilities, you suddenly remembered that you and her used to have your location active on your phones. Surely, that way, you will easily find her! It is worrying that she hasn’t answered you in these last few days. . .so hopefully she hasn’t left her phone at home.
However, to your luck, the GPS in her phone seemed to work–and it wasn’t pointing at her house but. . .at the Circus?
Right! Last time she ran away, she went to Ticket Taker because you weren’t at home! Maybe she went there again because she saw your house burned down? That could be an explanation.
The ride back to the Circus took quite some time, as Ciela house was a city away from your town and, while taking the train like Livia usually did. . .you would rather get caught under heavy rain with your bike than get on something like that ever again.
Once you arrived, you were welcomed by the sight of the Circus starting to look more and more skeletal. Most of the biggest tents were already taken down, with the exception of Ticket Taker’s, Columbina’s and the black tents. Checking the GPS once more, it pointed to one of the smaller tents, tucked away in the far back of the Circus.
You walked closer and slipped inside, noticing just how dark it was. You took out a torch you took with yourself and turned it on, revealing a singular table in the center with documents and books over it. But no sight of Livia. . .weird. . .ah, but knowing her, she probably offered to help take down the tents.
Your eyes caught sight of a very familiar maroon book, there, without any Jester around guarding it, all alone. . .you bit your lip in curiosity, dying to know what was its content and why it made Jester so attached to it. . .it won’t hurt. . .if you read just a couple of pages, right?
You basically rushed toward the grimoire like a happy child and opened it.
Your eyes skimmed over the pages of the ancient book, fingers brushing over the ink– taking care to not smudge or ruin it, seeing as it was all hand written. It was weird, something like this looked to belong in some sort of museum about old relics or perhaps as a diary about the time period it was written in. . .maybe a museum about the supernatural– just right beside the Annabelle doll.
You wonder what might be the content of the book, leafing through the pages, finding it hard to understand the words inside when it was all written in cursive and especially in an older version of your language, mainly forgotten if not by older professors or historian fanatics. Your eyes managed to read the titles, raging from witch-craft and how to make spells or curses to down right satanic rituals.
You saw a way to make your enemy be struck by seven years of bad luck, smiling to yourself at the idea of making the concoction for Nate before shaking your head. You were done with all the revenge thing, you have matured “Gather a couple of hair strands from the person thou summon to place this beshrew on. . .thou hast to be sure they are plucked from the root of the hair and tie 'em up with a wax seal mixed with the person blood– Woah!” you scrunched your nose and grinned “This book certainly doesn’t hold back”
Led by morbid curiosity, you began to look at the contest of the rest of the book– disappointed whenever some of the information faded away. You managed to read spells tied to sorcery– how to make someone fall in love with you– how to communicate with spirits– how to build salt circles to protect yourself from evil– there was literally everything a paranormal fanatic could desire. . .and in a scarily detailed description.
“How to ward off evil spirits. . .a guide for summoning your ancestor. . .uhm?” turning the next page brought you to a new section, called ‘Rituals’ with big bold letters in the middle of the page “Chapter one. .how to tie a wandering soul back to their corporal agent” It seems like you stumbled to some sort of cultish thing. Turning to the next page, you were welcomed by a wall of words and next to the drawing of a summoning circle perhaps. Your eyes snapped over the title in curiosity “The summoning ritual to bring a human soul back to life”
—”Wishing for someone you lost to come back is a common heart-wrenching desire all beings with a soul are bound to feel, albeit in different degrees. Before starting considering going through with the ritual, it is important that the soul you are trying to bring back is still wandering on earth. If they already joined Mother Nature's immense existence– the chances of bringing back someone or something undesired are higher.”
—”First of all, after making sure that the spirit is still among the living, is it required to gather a suitable host that will be inhabited by the spirit itself. It is recommended to find one near the same age, gender and race as the spirit’s previous body for a smooth transition. Additionally it is required for the host to have a certain. . .affinity with the spirit. To check out the affinity, the host has to establish a connection with the spirit. Meaning that they are able to see and interact with them, their personality and belief must be as close as possible– a complete doppelganger.”
—”If such a host is not available or does not exist, do not fear. Anything as close as possible is still gonna be fine, the only requirement that can’t be ignored is them being able to interact and see the spirit. If it’s the case that you have in your hands a semi compatible host, then it is required for you to prepare them before starting the ritual. This period can vary from host to host, taking up from a couple of days up to months, depending on their affinity.”
Your eyes narrowed, the light of your torch lighting up the weird words on paper while an uncomfortable dread started swimming in your guts.
—First, you have to gather some blood from the future host, it will be required to draw the circle to permit the maximum power. Same thing with taking a portion of their hair, saliva and breath”
Somehow, you couldn’t help but think back to when Doctor visited you. Insisting on getting your blood himself instead of letting you go and have the results from a clinic.
—”The blood from a vein in the arm is to be the best as it's closer to the heart”
The puncture on your inner elbow throbbed.
—”It is necessary for the transition between souls to go smoothly if the host gets to spend as much time as possible in the places the previous person used to live in. A city, a house, a room. To help with it, is it recommendable to also make them wear their clothes, follow their routine and preferably follow the same diet. In addition, calling them by their name might help.”
The words made a shiver run down your spine. To pretend that someone is the exact replica of the dead person. . .that’s another level of delusion you hope to never reach. Grief was hard, you are too well aware of that, but to be this attached to the past. . .was it a good idea to feed such lies to already broken people?
You felt chills all over your body.
But maybe that was because funnily enough. . .you seemed to have gone through something similar to this ‘host’. . .how funny. . .how funny that you can’t help but overlap your experiences with a silly book when–WHEN–
—”The host has to be kept monitored as long as possible.”
Oh, how your life has been filled with just the circus these last weeks.
—”The host has to be unaware to preserve their cognitive functions.”
Oh, how Ticket Taker and Jester made their best to hide things from you. . .shady things. . .things, that even if they were monsters, still had no business being kept away with so much dread and insistence.
—”Under no circumstances the host has to sustain wound, nor their health has to degrade”
Oh. . .how angry was everyone once seeing you hurt. . .or were they? Maybe that was just frustration and annoyance instead. Frustrated that you ruined yourself. . .
Your eyes swept over the words quicker, your lips pressing together and teeth sinking in your tongue while everything was slowly starting to blink together. The content was becoming a mess, you weren’t even sure if you were still reading or simply lost– no longer able to push away all the questions you have swept away for this Circus.
—”Once the host is ready, the ritual can start. It is necessary to draw the summoning circle represented beside, strictly following these passages and the same exact amount of materials requested. Failing to do so could tear both souls into nothingness or mix them inside a body fighting for control. The human soul will be able to inhabit the human body in the small fraction after you have killed the host”
The beating of your frantic heart echoed in your ears, an ugly sense of deja vu eating your insides while an unexplainable sense of dread washed all over you. Your trembling hand flipped the page, perhaps a bit too hard–yet all you could do was freeze when you read the title over it ‘How to tie a wandering monster soul back to earth.'
A wandering. . .monster soul. . .?
Monster– this book is talking about the same monsters you just discovered being real.
Thump, thump, went the heart behind your ribcage– slamming itself while you read “While monsters possess souls as well as humans, they are functionally different from them for they miss the most crucial passage for the ritual. . .a host. . .”
—”A host is someone who should function as the new link to the living plane, someone who looked and acted like them. And especially someone who has a connection with the spirit. For monsters is far more complicated for they are cut off from the spirit world”
“It is required a human then. A human host– but just a human isn't enough since they will never look like the monster you are trying to get back. For that you also need to gather animal meat but even just more human meat is gonna be fi–Okay what the hell?!” You harshly took a step back, expression twisting into a grimace and eyebrows furrowing in shock.
Your sudden movement prompted the book to be pushed away, falling down from the table and onto the floor with a ‘THUMP!’, scattering around photos you weren’t aware were tucked inside the pages. Not when you were too busy with not freaking out.
What kind of book was that–why the hell would Jester be so obsessed with a book like this–!?
A-Ah! You are exaggerating now, take a deep breath. You are letting a simple book mess with you for no goddamn reason. Getting heated up just because it's a creepy old thing and seemingly feeling called out was not cool at all–. . .uh?
Among the sea of photos, a specific one attracted your attention.
A woman. . .blonde long wavy hair. . .deep blue eyes. . .she wasn’t looking at the camera. Like the photo was caught without her knowledge. All around was a mess of bright colorful lights, people caught in a blurred movement, all except for this lady standing still and giving the camera her profile while she was talking to someone.
Someone tall, so tall that his face was just out of the frame– yet your heart couldn’t help but get stuck in your throat as your finger shakingly touched over the white uniform of the performer– looking at the black pom-pom in the middle, the long sleeves covering his hands, the single liripipe down to his waist. He looked just like a. . .
But his uncanny similarity with your Pierrot wasn’t what made a chill run down your spine–no. . .after all this was a book that Jester held close to him, may–maybe these were family photos or confiscated from visitors caught taking pictures–no.
That wasn’t the reason for your uneasiness as much as recognizing the woman in it.
That blonde haired woman, with a sweet smile. A picture you have seen plenty of times in Mister Blake house, as the home screen in Samuel’s phone, plastered in missing posters all over the city.
Oh god. . .that. . .that was really Thalia wasn’t it?
Talking with. . .Pierrot? Or at least a past form of him– whe-when was this photo taken?!
Almost feeling your torch slip past your fingers, from how much they were trembling, you lifted the photo closer and turned it around, eyeing the neatly handwritten 13/06/2XXX. . .just five years ago. . .the same date that Thalia went missing.
Mister Blake did tell you that she was last seen in a Circus, to think this being said Circus though. . .moreover, why do they have a missing person photo with them? Why keep it? What were the rest of the photos?
With your heart loudly beating in your ears, you started frantically picking up the rest of the picture, turning them around, eyeing every single person that got unknowingly captured forever in them. There was a man with his back turned, looking at the plushies in one of the vendors' stalls. A young adult caught mid laugh while eating cotton candy. A redhead male speaking with a performer wearing a uniform identical to the Arlecchino from Commedia dell’Arte. And more. And MORE.
Your head started spinning while you read each date behind, it was always the same place. This town, or at least nearby. The days varied but the years had a usual pattern. Five years. Each five years a different person.
Your eyes snapped on the book laying on the ground and you hastily grabbed it, eyes sweeping over the words till ending up in one of the warnings ‘Once tried the ritual there has to be a 5 years gap before it could be attempted again’.
You felt light, you felt nauseant.
There were so many coincidences. . .so many oddities you can no longer ignore.
And then there it was, a singular photo far away from the pile of others. It must have slid away when you threw the book to the ground. You slowly got closer. It was face down. 05/04/2XXX.
Just barely more than a week ago.
You felt your breath pick up, your limbs going numb and light as you knelt beside it before slowly picking the corner and then quickly turning it around.
An unbearable cold washed all over as your wide eyes held eye contact with. . .yourself. Just like the others, your picture-self seemed unaware of the photo being taken– too busy with standing in the middle of the Circus and gazing toward the pink tent while harsh blurred lights danced all around you. Almost like a cage.
A red circle made with a marker, surrounded your head which was connected to a series of words with an arrow. The urge to not read anything and simply tuck away every single photo you had the misfortune of seeing and pretend like you knew nothing of this cultish bullshit. But a part in you wrapped its hand around your throat, pointing out how you were too far now to forget everything.
And it was right. Damn it if it was right. This time. . .you couldn’t cover your eyes just because they said so.
Finding the courage to finally read what you avoided with all yourself, the phrase said only one simple thing ‘This time, the host will work. We will bring her back’.
You must have read wrong. . .
Pierrot’s voice called out your name from behind, pushing aside the tent’s flap and welcoming himself inside “I have something I wish for you to try. A new cake I baked with Columbina. Why don’t you have a bite?” his voice was joyful, a harsh contrast with the feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach and somehow. . .his voice was no longer a beacon of comfort for you. Not when all you could think was him speaking with Thalia on the night she disappeared.
Turning around, you were welcomed by him smiling down at you– a slice of cake in his hands as he proclaimed. You thought back at the stark contrast of him in these last days from what you were used to. The way he started to act weirdly after you got seriously hurt. . .the way he didn’t seem sad in the slightless at the knowledge of going away when he begged you so heartily to keep coming to the circus–Oh. . .
That was why he insisted so much. . .they. . .they wanted to keep you close to be used as a host for whatever monster they are trying to get back.
With this knowledge. . .so many things suddenly acquired a whole different light.
“My dear?” Pierrot murmured softly, his smile stretching with a bit of uneasiness when he noticed your shell shocked expression. Those beautiful eyes he oh so much love, so wide and terrified at the same time.
“Do you know a Thalia?” the words tumbled out of your lips faster than you intended as you quickly stood to your feet and tried to keep your heart from bursting out “Thalia?” Pierrot repeated, tilting his head to the side “Five years ago, blonde hair, brown eyes– she went missing. The town is upholstered with her missing posters” you pushed on, the torch in your hands illuminating his wide smile.
“I’m afraid. . .” Pierrot started slowly, carefully. . .too carefully for someone like him “It’s hard for me to know someone from a town I never visited” and the corner of his grin lifted higher as he bluntly lied to your face “But no matter. Why don’t you try my new cake–?”
“I don’t wanna” you cut him off, plunging the tent into a loud silence.
“You. . .don’t want to?” he repeated with a slight disbelieved tone, after all. . .you never refused him “You seem pretty stressed, my dear. Have you eaten? You know what Doctor says about breakfas–”
“I said that I don’t want it!” the words came out louder than you intended as you took a quick step back. Something that did not go unnoticed by Pierrot who now grew quiet and his smile tugged into a blank expression but you didn’t care, all you wanted was to go away from this Circus so you could process everything you saw “Why are you so insistent with me eating that cake?”
You narrowed your eyes in suspicion, your mind pushing on the surface every single time you have eaten something from the circus–from Pierrot and linking an unsettling pattern “Everytime I eat something. . .I always have some weird memory gaps. . .I always feel sick. . .I–”
You always seem to fall asleep or forget what happened later. That food. . .that food had always had something in it, didn’t it? It wasn’t stress, it wasn’t your imagination, it never was. And when Pierrot gave you that cake slice after you told him you wanted to go home. . .a-and you swapped the two of them. . .he fell asleep after eating what was supposed to be your slice.
Immediately your eyes snapped on the cake in Pierrot’s hands and he followed your gaze, prompting his claws to dig in the ceramic and leaving dents as the air around got extremely tense. It seems that you figured out a bit too much.
“My dear. . .” Pierrot breathed out, slowly following your every movement with his golden eyes– in such a way that it reminded you of a cat keeping a close eye to a bird “I love you” he then confessed out of nowhere, making your skin prickle from the whiplash of such a statement.
“What. . .” you muttered out, wide eyes and muscles stiffening further.
Pierrot, however, seemed to not care because he took a step further, the blank look turning back into a joyous one– the corner of his lips stretching so much that it looked to be splitting his face in half. He was in front of the only source of light, casting a shadow over his feature yet his eyes still managed to be visible– like they were a source of light themselves.
“I love you, my dear” he repeated with a shiver running down his own spine and the heart pounding furiously against his ribcage while he tilted his head to an uncomfortable degree “I always loved you since first landing my eyes on you, since you came to my aid against that human male. Don’t be so afraid!” despite those words supposedly having a positive connotation, all you could feel was an immense fear coiling around your lungs.
“I love you so much I want to tear my own heart out and bare it for you to see! For you to grasp just how much I would do for you, so–!” he gasped out, breaths elaborated like he had just run, taking a step closer “Why are you looking at me like I’m a monster?” at those words you exhaled shakingly, trying to bare enough courage to not seem absolutely terrified, especially knowing you were basically cornered with a monster who is planning to sacrifice you.
“Oh, my dear savior. . .my perfect love. . .it feels so good to finally get all of this out in the open, albeit I hoped for a better setting. . .” Pierrot went on, not giving you time to cut it and speak, even less to find a plausible explanation “But I can no longer hold back–! I want you–! I need you more than anything, I love you–Ohhh if I love you, I think I would not know how to breath without you”
Your heart kept hammering in your ears as Pierrot continued his nonsense about loving you, rambling over and over, so fast it was starting to get hard to follow. It was starting to get hard and convince yourself this was the same friend you spent time together. He was so terrifying and unstable at the moment.
“I love you–I know I shouldn’t for you are so perfect and I'm a nobody but I can’t lie to myself. I ache for you, I crave your kindness, your sweetness, your willingness to choose me. . .” he reached a point in his own monologue where he started to drool. You could see his saliva leaking from the smile on his mask and trailing down his chin. Paired with those two golden eyes fixed on watching you with so much hunger made you feel like you are about to be his next meal.
“You are lying. . .” you swallowed, taking a step back “Uh?” Pierrot blinked in confusion and you went on, more determined “You don’t love me, you are lying to yourself” that got a nervous chuckle out of the silver haired man “What are you talking, my love? I’m mostly sure these feelings I have for you are one of devotion. . .and what better devotion there is that is not love?!”
Shaking your head, you denied it “You are wrong! You are not in love with me! You never were! You were in love with the idea of what I was to you”
Pierrot shook his head in turn, now his heart was beating more out of fear to have given you the wrong hints rather than love “I do love you! This burning sensation that I feel is—”
“You don’t love me! Not the real me!” you cut him off again and again and again whenever he tried to repeat the same ‘I love you’ bullshit, the grip on your torch getting the more painful together with anger climbing up your veins “Well then! Tell me! Tell me my worst traits!” you snapped and immediately Pierrot froze.
He froze because he didn’t know what to say. After all. . .his amazing dear did not have a single wrong trait, no. . .if someone had a problem with them was only because they were the rotten ones. No. . .His darling was truly “Perfect. . .” he sighed dreamily “You are perfect–is this a trick question? Why are you asking me something so impossible? You are literally the most amazing human being on earth, what is there for me to dislike? I would do anything for you”
So. . .it was as you imagined. . .he. . .he is delusional. . .or maybe he is still trying to trick you and shoving lie after lie down your throat. It doesn’t matter as this confirms everything.
“No. . .” you shook your head with a grimace “No. . .no, no, no, you are so wrong–I’m far from being perfect. I’m so flawed– someone who could never aspire to be defined as a savior. I’m impulsive– stubborn– petty– aggressive–!”
“Oh my dear. . .I only see the best that there is in you” Pierrot tried again, his eyebrows furrowed like he was trying to convince you–!
“Then you have never seen me in the first place”
Those words felt like a dagger piercing his heart.
You felt your intestine twist with anger as he just wouldn’t stop “Why the hell should I trust you when you guys want to sacrifice me, Pierrot?!”
He flinched–he actually flinched, eyebrows furrowing in worry while his smile wavered for a second before he forced it back “No, no, my dear– you are mistaken! We would never sa-sacrifice you! Where are you taking that–?!”
“Stop lying! For once stop lying to yourself and me! Do you think that I’m stupid?! This book–!” you pointed the torch at grimoire “Had an awfully similar experience to mine!”
Pierrot felt himself starting to panic, not expecting for Jester to leave the grimoire out in the open “No! That wasn’t you–!”
Oh? So now he is not even denying the fact that they wanted to do a ritual?!
“That big red circle would say otherwis–!”
“We used the other one to bring Columbina back! I would’ve never allowed the other to use you!”
You felt your heart drop to your stomach as you mutely stared at Pierrot with wide eyes. He stared back at you with the same shock, like he let something slip up.
“The. . .the other one. . .?” you repeated under your breath only for a horrible feeling to take hold of your guts “Pierrot. . .”
Two golden eyes just stared at you intensely, then–
The soft ringing tone of a phone echoed inside the tent, that ringtone you were so familiar with. . .that ringtone that sounds just like your favorite song. . .that ringtone she chose for you especially.
Your eyes were pinned to the floor, your left hand held your phone shook as a choked breath slipped past your lips in realization. Then your gaze snapped over the performer in front of you, the beating of your heart was the only thing you could focus on and the doom choking you.
“Don’t.” Pierrot’s voice came out cold, stern yet also desperate “If you run away. . .I will be forced to hunt you down. Just. . .just come here”
He stretched his claw toward you, smile wide– unnerving– on the edge of snapping.
You looked at it for one more second.
Then turned on your heels and sprinted away–
With the sound of the ceramic plate smashing down on the ground.
A/N: Soooooo guuuuuys!?!?!? How do we feel?!?!?!? Volume 1 officially ended and from the next chapter Volume 2 will start!!!! No more rose tinted glasses, the real fucked up horror starts now!
Time to let the monster out.
Ahhhh, I'm so proud of myself for reaching this part! I hope all that build up wasn’t for nothing! Also in the next chapters I plan to make a proper MC and Circus crew relationship analysis on my notes eheheheh. There are so much symbolism I wanna point out!!!
【 Tag list: @crazyfor230 @worshipping-blue @jupitermoonnnn @anaxaver. @neptuii 】
