Billy has been acting strange in the past few weeks. Giving her stuff that he thinks she’d like, old band shirts from California, his old Atari games that he doesn’t play anymore and some cassettes he thought she’d enjoy listening to.
The car rides had been quieter, no singing and the loud music turned down. He’d look at her a lot more, start to say things before cutting himself off before he could start a sentence.
Then one day instead of driving home, he’d driven to the quarry and sat there ignoring Max’s questions about why they were there and Billy finally says something that haunts her.
“If Dad” he coughs “If Neil ever says I’ve run away, don’t believe him”
“Why would he say that?” she asks
“The car is in his name” Billy ignores her “If he says I’ve run away and taken the car that’s a lie. I can’t afford to leave now and he knows that”
“Bil-”
“Max” he closes his eyes and takes a deep, shuddery breath “If Neil ever says I’ve run away, you need to tell the police”
She’d been silent after that. She slowly nodded, Billy’s word sinking in and scaring her. Billy seemed scared too but was trying to hide it.
“Okay”
Billy disappears on a Friday, one month and nine days after that conversation.
Max thinks nothing of it. It’s a Friday night so Billy was normally out until the early hours of the morning and sometimes didn’t return home until Sunday night. He’d picked her up from school like he always does and then after dinner when she’d gone to her room, she’d heard the camaro’s engine and the car peel out of the driveway.
Billy and his car didn’t come back on Saturday or Sunday.
Neil ends up driving her to school and Max is quiet the entire ride. Neil is too and seems to not be worried at all about Billy’s whereabouts. The radio is droning on about the freezing weather Hawkins is going to experience in the upcoming weeks.
She keeps her eyes trained on the scenery outside, the same scenery Billy complains about nearly every single time.
They reach the middle school and Neil turns into a parking space. She sits there before asking the one question that’s on her mind.
“Where’s Billy?”
“He ran away”
Max’s heart skips a beat as she nods and exits the car. She walks away slowly, not turning her back for a second and she hears Neil pull out and drive to work. Her mind is in a fog as she walks through the hallways of happy conversations and smiles softly as she passes her friends on the way to her locker. They follow her like they always do.
“No skateboard today?” Lucas asks
“No” Max tries to shrug it off “Billy didn’t take me to school today”
“Is he sick?” Will questions, always the polite one out of them
“I don’t think so” Max pauses “Neil said he ran away”
If Billy hadn’t told her when he did, she’d probably be cheering. Billy wasn’t the best brother, sometimes he was but as he got older it was more strained. He always talked about wanting to go back to California, to see his friends and find his mother. Some fantasy that he’d created that she’d take him with open arms and they’d live happily ever after on the beach away from Neil.
Billy’s voice keeps replaying in her head. You need to tell the police. It was weird hearing Billy say that. Billy hated them, always calling them pigs and purposefully pissing them off. Especially in a town like Hawkins where everyone knows everyone. Hopper always asked how he was and if he was ever going to pay the speeding fines that are stacking up or if he’s going to have to break up another fight. So for him to say the police should be involved if he ever goes missing, well, something is definitely wrong.
She doesn’t know how to actually go to the police without raising suspicion from Neil or her mother. She doesn’t really see El much and they’re what Max would say ‘nearly friends’ in that they’re friendly when around others but it’s kind of awkward when it’s just them two.
The days go by and Billy hasn’t returned. She stays awake most nights looking out the window just in case he walks up the driveway but he never does. The long nights allow her to think back to so many times where alarms should have gone off that something was wrong but she was too naive to even acknowledge it.
There was one time when Billy didn’t do the dishes and Max was sent to her room but she heard the sound of glass breaking and just thought someone had dropped it on the floor.
Another time, back in California, Billy left her alone so he could say hi to some people he knew across the street. He was supposed to be watching her while their parents ran an errand and when they came back Billy still wasn’t watching her. Neil had marched over and placed a rough hand on his shoulder and steered him back to where she was. He was muttering into Billy’s ear and when they were close enough she was able to hear Neil say ‘and so help me god, no one will find you’.
She supposed that’s what happened now, that Neil made good with his threat and that no one was going to find Billy.
The next morning, Neil drops her off at school again and she walks into the school and then waits for Neil to drive off. When he does, she slips back outside and hides from her friends so they won’t tell on her for running off.
The school is a decent drive from the town centre so it takes a while for her to walk. Eventually she makes it, out of breath and red in the face which clashes terribly with her hair. She stands at the edge of town and adjusts her backpack straps and stands up straight. She walks with purpose to the police station and takes a deep breath before entering.
It’s busy for a Thursday morning. Phones are ringing, the coffee maker is going and the fax machine is beeping.
She walks to the receptionist who’s drinking a cup of coffee and stares at her until she looks back at her.
“Yes?” she asks “Shouldn’t you be in school?”
“I need to talk to Chief Hopper” she says
“Why do you need to talk to him?” she asks, her desk tag says Flo. “What is so urgent you need to speak to the chief and no one else?”
“I’m a -” Max hesitates, she doesn’t know if Flo knows about El or not. “My parents know him, I have a question”
“I see” Flo clearly doesn’t believe her but in a twist of fate, the chief steps out of his office and does a double take when he sees Max.
“You’re Max, aren’t you?” he asks. Max nods. “Why aren’t you at school?”
“I need to talk to you” she makes eye contact with him “It’s an emergency”
Hopper must be thinking it’s upside down related and maybe it is, Max doesn’t know. She just has a terrible feeling it has something to do with monsters on the surface and live in her house.
Hopper closes the door behind him and sits down at his desk, gesturing for Max to sit in the chair across from him.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, hands clasped in front of him.
“My brother is missing”
Hopper has heard a lot of things but hearing that Billy Hargrove is missing isn’t something he’s worried about. The kid screams trouble. From the many unpaid speeding tickets to the fines for loitering in places he shouldn’t be to that memorable time at the Byers. The kid being missing doesn’t worry him, troubled kids run away all the time. But Max is clearly worried, biting her lip and leg shaking.
“Missing” he repeats. He leans back in his chair. “And what makes you think Billy is missing?”
“He hasn’t been home since last Friday” she rubs at her arm. “Hasn’t been acting like himself”
“Yeah” Hopper shakes his head “Max, I’m going to be real with you. Billy is probably just staying at a friends house”
“But he has no friends” Max blurts out.
“If he’s ‘missing’” Hopper uses air quotes “How come your folks haven’t reported it?”
Max looks visibly uncomfortable, like she’s debating whether or not to answer him truthfully. She runs a hand under her eyes and looks up, tears brimming in her eyes.
“Because I think his Dad is the one who killed him”
Killed. She’s gone from missing to killed. He listens as Max goes on a spiel about how Billy has been acting weird and giving away some of his things to her. That he drove her to the quarry and told her that if Neil ever said he ran away that she had to go to the police because he couldn’t run away. The car isn’t in his name and Neil takes all his money so there’s no way he could survive on his own.
He’s concerned now and has started taking notes. He nods as Max keeps talking, saying Billy has been abused for years and that Billy was so sure Neil would kill him one day.
Neil works night shifts most of the time so he’s home when Hopper pulls up in his squad car, Callahan and Powell close behind. He knocks on the door and waits impatiently for someone to answer the door.
Neil answers it and is shocked to see the police on his doorstep.
“Officers” Neil says politely “What can I do for you today?”
“It’s Chief, actually” Hopper replies. “We are under the impression that your son is missing”
“Billy?” he asks “No, you’re mistaken. This is something Billy has always done”
“Right” Hopper nods “But we have a history with missing kids and well, we just want to make sure he returns home safely”
“Of course”
“So, you won’t mind if we have a look around” Hopper smiles “We can get a better understanding on where he could have gone”
“Actually I do-”
“We have a warrant” Hopper shoves past him and steps into the lounge and takes a look at the photos on the wall. Lot’s of Max, some of the Hargrove Mayfield wedding. None of Billy “Nice place you have”
“This Billy’s room?” Powell asks, nodding his head towards a room. Neil has been glaring at him ever since he entered the house.
“Yes” Neil grits his teeth
“Weird that there’s a lock on the outside of the door” Hoppe flicks it “Normally it’s on the other side”
“Billy is a troubled child”
“Of course he is” Hopper opens the door and enters a baron room. Only the bare necessities present. “Boys will be boys”
“Are you sure you have a teenage boy?” Callahan asks looking around “Pretty clean for a teenager”
“Billy knew to keep his room tidy”
“Mhmm” Hopper hums “I’m sure”
Hopper walks around the entire house even going down into the basement to find that there’s a pile of blankets near the wall, like someone sleeps down here. He’s seen enough at this point and he walks back up to the main room where Callahan, Powell and Neil are standing silently.
“Don’t worry, Mr Hargrove” Hopper pats him on the shoulder “We’ll find your son”
It’s dark in the forest. It’s not even fully nighttime but it sure feels like it when they’re this deep in the forest. There’s a boat out on lovers lake and another at the bottom of the quarry. It feels eerily similar to when Will Byers went missing.
The flashlight light bounces off everything and casts shadows that make his double check what he’s looking at. He scans the ground for anything unusual. It’s the third day he’s in the forest searching and nothing has been found yet.
His walkie buzzes and he immediately answers.
“Hopper” he says and let’s go, waiting for a reply.
“We got a body at the quarry” the staticy voice replies “Over”
Hopper swears audibly and turns around to make the trek back to his truck and drive over to the quarry. He knows that Billy won’t be alive when he gets there but he can kid himself that Billy didn’t drown and had climbed up onto the forest edge at the bottom.
The red and blue lights cast shadows and stain everything in its path. The medics are crouched down near the shoreline, a body bag set in front of them.
He braces himself, takes his hat off and walks over.
There in the bag is the dead body of Billy Hargrove. Body pale and decayed, he’s been dead this whole time by the state of his body. There’s a hole in his forehead and Hopper nearly throws up at the sight.
“He was probably dead before he even hit the water” someone says.
Hopper straightens up as they close the bag and load Billy’s body into the ambulance. Hopper heads back to his truck and turns on the sirens, carelessly driving out of the quarry and speeding over to the Hargrove household. He pulls up and barely stops the car before he’s marching across the front lawn and banging on the door.
Susan answers the door, eyes wide and shaken when she sees who it is.
“Mrs Hargrove, is Neil Hargrove here” he asks, not beating around the bush.
“I-I-Yes he is” she stammers out and steps aside, like she’d been expecting this to happen.
“Neil Hargrove” Hopper grabs the man by the arm, yanking him up from the couch and turning him around and cuffing him. “You’re under arrest for the murder of William Hargrove. You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an attorney. Anything you say can and will be held against you”
Neil struggles in his grip but Hopper is determined. He can see Max standing in the entrance to the hallway, tears falling down her face. There’s a crowd outside, drawn from the sirens and lights who witness the arrest of Neil Hargrove, many with shocked faces.
“You’re going to go away for a long fucking time” Hopper threatens
Also, something that's been said about Billy before but that bears repeating is that, although not every child in Billy's abusive home situation reacts like Billy does, that doesn't make Billy's reactions unnatural or indicate a deficit of character on his part. That suggests that there is a "right" and "wrong" way to deal with parental abandonment and abuse, as though the issue at hand is the child rather than the behavior of the parents. It's victim blaming, and is something that is not only harmful in an irl sense, but is also something that Stranger Things tends to try to avoid with its characters.
Honestly, thank you for saying it this way and giving voice to what I’ve been trying to articulate.
As my job, I write grants for a residential treatment center for children who have lived through severe abuse and neglect. It is precisely the kind of place that Billy would have ended up if he had been removed from his home - which he should have been - and working here has made me extra sensitive to this.
A lot of our kids are angry. Our staff is trained in how to safely restrain a child if they get aggressive, and that happens frequently. They remind me of Billy. They don’t have the experience needed to articulate what they’ve been through, they aren’t prepared to process the horrible things they’ve seen, and they have absolutely no trust in anyone around them. They are constantly in survival mode, and yeah, that means they can be mean, and cruel, and annoying, and frustrating, and violent, and all these other uncomfortable behaviors.
Abuse is something lots of people who have never been through it think they could come through unscathed. You would not. Would you react like Billy did, become angry and sadistic (because he was, I’m not trying to erase that)? Maybe, maybe not. But to emphasize the point above, acting like a victim of abuse reacting in a very natural and predictable way makes him a monster really icks me out.
When all you know, day in and day out, is that you have to fight to stay alive and there is absolutely nobody that can help you, guess what you’re not super focused on? Being kind and gentle to people.
Your brain literally CAN’T. In the same way that nonessential bodily functions shut down in survival situations, your mental toolkit is severely depleted after years and years of fight or flight with no break. You have to be patient and willing to work with these kids, and be ok when they mess up, and be someone they can rely on even when it may suck for you.
This is long as hell and I’m sure very rambly, but people who think Billy is irredeemable would give up on the kids I work with, and that really doesn’t sit right with me. He was a child. He was a victim. He COULD have been saved, and nobody even tried.
if you ship Steddie, I’m not saying you have to ship Harringrove. I’m just saying that if you think Steve is attracted to Eddie, you must reckon with the fact that he was most likely also attracted to Billy. Eddie and Billy have truly so much in common in terms of like… this is Steve’s type. I’ll come back to this with more coherent thoughts I promise
Okay okay. Here we go. I’m going to start with things that are 100% canonical and move towards more fanon stuff
Feel free to ask me to elaborate on any of these points!!! Or lmk if I missed anything
Starting with physicality and appearance stuff because that’s quite literally visible on the screen and requires no interpretation or thought
Tongue out all the time. My god these boys and their stupid mouths
Tattoo(s) — Eddie has more, Billy’s is more visible
Jewelry — rings + necklace for Eddie, ring + necklace + earring for Billy
the biggest, saddest, wettest eyes you’ll ever see
long curly/wavy hair in a mullet
they’re even the same height
always crowding into Steve’s space, touching him, getting in his face
similar music tastes — Eddie’s metal overlaps with Billy’s rock and hair metal (enough for Steve to probably not care about the difference)
smokes, plus other substances — we know Eddie does weed and has done “special K” (lmao) at least once. and drinks beer. Billy drinks and while technically we don’t know if he does anything else, his familiarity with the party scene makes me think, like. He’s definitely done weed
Attacks him, lmao. True Eddie doesn’t do any damage BUT he does hold a broken beer bottle to his throat which is like. A one-way ticket to death. Billy beats the shit out of him ofc. Both Billy and Eddie are stopped by their younger-sibling figure, Max and Dustin respectively
‘crazy’ drivers. recall even MAX (who rode passenger with Billy all the time) described Eddie as “always drives like a maniac”
and more stuff… still canonical but has some nuance / could be read into differently
always wanting to get out. Both of them just desperate to leave Hawkins. Billy to go back to California… Eddie, it’s unclear where he wants to go, but just out of Hawkins. It’s implied he wants to go somewhere for his music + somewhere with an alt scene so… sounds like LA, baby.
Outwardly confident, inwardly terrified
Died saving people that hated them. Bled out while their not-quite-sibling sobbed over them. I could talk about this forever. Some people see this as sacrifice — Billy dying to save El (a child he doesn’t know but who was gentle and kind to him) and the rest of the party (who actively hate him) and Eddie dying to save Hawkins (which ofc hated and hunted him). Others see this as suicide — Eddie who had nowhere to go if he survived as he was still wanted for murder, wanting to finally face his cowardice and not run away. Billy who had nowhere to go if he survived other than back to his abuser (Neil) and who finally had the chance to stand up to his abuser (Vecna), who had killed dozens of people against his will and already behaved as if he had nothing to live for. either way they’re the same
The Chrissy / Heather foil. Both of them had a pretty girl as the first person they’d ever seen die, both completely out of their control
Extremely charismatic! Eddie with his sheepies, Billy with his whole King posse. Charmers to the max, even if in very different ways. Eddie charms Chrissy, Billy charms Heather (and a lot of moms, whoops) with different tactics but still effective. It’s an interesting foil that Eddie mostly charms people younger than him, while Billy mostly charms people older than him. I think this foil is to show Eddie’s gentle side and to show how Billy is so often targeted by predators
Both have daddy AND mommy issues. both with absent mothers (whether dead or abandoned or whatever) and shitty fathers. Eddie just escaped his situation earlier in life when his father got arrested
I love girl dad Billy as much as the rest of us. I love him choosing to put his macho-masculinity aside to be girly with his girl. However.
My heart will always be with boy dad Billy — at least, for his first kid. After that, fuck all. But the first needs to be a baby boy.
Because I need him to hold a tiny baby boy in his arms and feel such intense, incredible love that it completely shatters him. Knowing instantly that he could never, never leave this child. Could never hurt this child. No matter that. Knowing that even if this boy turns out exactly like him, he would never in a million years abandon or hit his boy.
I need him to cradle his son in his arms and look at his parter and be sobbing. Be asking not why but how. When before he wondered why his mother left him, what he did to make his father hit him — not it’s how. How could his mother leave him, when Billy has held his son for moments and already loves him this much? How could his father hit him, when Billy feels nauseous at the thought of his baby boy in pain? How could they do that to their son when Billy’s love for his boy could swallow him whole, could crush him under the weight, crush his heart and throat and lungs?
And the part of him that’s scared, that wonders if he’ll turn into Neil as he gets older — it dies. Slowly, but it dies. Because even when his son turns out to be a troublemaker, Billy loves him. Even when he’s a teenager, and you know how teenagers are, Billy loves him. No matter what he does. No matter what he says. There is nothing in this world that could ever make Billy not love him.
Steve looks up as a shadow falls across his newspaper.
He hadn’t even heard Billy’s footsteps, but that’s nothing new. Billy moves quietly now. Has done the whole time they’ve been here. This house. Their house. He’s barefoot most of the time, even when he’s been out in the few square metres of dirt that they call a yard.
Steve’s used to him coming in with soil embedded under his toenails and leaving dusty footprints all over the hardwood.
He doesn’t mind. It’s sometimes the only proof that Billy’s been there at all.
But today, Billy doesn’t move past him. Today he stops, right in front of Steve’s chair, blocking the sun and holding something out in a slightly shaking hand.
“Look.”
It’s the first thing he’s said this week.
(Steve’s not counting the words he hears at night. The begging and the apologies. It doesn’t count if Billy’s still asleep, and he always goes quiet when Steve wakes him up.)
Four days in. Thursday. And Steve’s finally been granted one word.
He keeps his expression neutral as he looks up, tempers the surprise down until it’s nothing more than an inquisitive raised eyebrow, “Yeah?”
Billy opens his hand, four fingers and a thumb falling away slowly to reveal strawberries. Five of them. Red and small and still with the little green leaves stuck on the top. Freshly picked.
“They grew. I grew them.”
Five more words. One for each berry. And said with just the tiniest hint of pride, rather than the monotone Steve had become accustomed to.
Billy runs a thumb over them lightly, a gesture that has Steve smiling with the tenderness of it, and then he picks out the biggest, reddest, juiciest one and holds it out.
Holds it up to Steve.
He doesn’t ask. But Steve nods anyway, newspaper falling forgotten onto his lap as he leans forwards and gently plucks the strawberry from Billy’s fingers.
“Looks good, Bill,” he murmurs, making a show of holding it up to the light and turning it around slowly, examining every single seed, “Really good.”
Billy’s stare never wavers from Steve’s fingers. He watches, eyes following the movement, as Steve puts the strawberry between his teeth and bites, severing it from the green stalk and slipping it into his mouth in a single, quick bite.
As the juice spills out onto Steve’s lip, Billy lets out the breath he was holding.
And then he smiles. Real. Bright. Happy.
The first one in months.
(Steve’s not counting the smiles he gets in the mornings. It doesn’t count when Billy’s still asleep, dozing against Steve’s chest.)
“I think there’s gonna be more. More coming.” Billy says.
Steve nods, “Yeah,” he says warmly, his eyes fixed on Billy’s face. On his smile. On the spark finally starting to fill those blue eyes, “Yeah, I bet there is.”
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