[bouncystyles]

[pinsandweevils]

New and Updated Career Options for 2019:

Rakish dandy who spends three hours on his cravat every morning

Romantic poet (who dies of consumption)

Whaler c. 1850, in love with a harpooneer

Late Victorian occultist

Ambiguously gay Victorian/Edwardian groundskeeper

Oxford student with a dark secret, c. 1910

Bertie Wooster

The subject of a J.C. Leyendecker illustration

Climber in the Lake District during the Golden Age of Mountaineering

Teddy boy

[flutejesus]

when the flute part goes real high

[flutejesus]

band but everyone tunes to the picc player

[durito]

My chem 1 professor pretended to be my orgo 2 professor and no one noticed until my actual orgo 2 professor walked in wearing the same outfit 💀💀💀

[wyrmwizard]

you ever have teeth just to flex on birds

[artichuka2]

[wyrmwizard]

Hm. This post got bad

[fakehistory]

Monsanto Has Farmer Arrested For Saving Seeds (circa. 2014)

[carrionthrash-deactivated201904]

when people say shit like “if you’re at an antifacist event, don’t talk to reporters” they mean you. you aren’t an exception to that. you can be the smartest, most articulate person on the planet and right wing news stations can still edit shit to make you look like a dipshit.

when people say to not take selfies or leave your face uncovered at antifacist events they mean you. when people say not to get into public debates with nazis (because it just gives them a platform and a persecution complex) they mean you. the way to actually, effectively combat fascism is by organizing en masse - you can’t be a hero or get famous as a black bloc activist and you shouldn’t be trying to.

your fifteen minutes of fame on local news isnt worth potentially giving your political opponents soundbites of “crazy sjws” to pass around on reddit and recruit more scumbags with. it’s not worth risking the safety of other people to take photos at events that might get other, more vulnerable people identified. it’s not worth it to get into pointless arguements with fascists in atmospheres where you’re just giving them an excuse to spout their bullshit and a soapbox to do it on. if you think feeling like a hero is more important than the actual, physical safety of the people you’re supposedly trying to protect, you’re just a narcissist who happens to have left wing politics.

[valtsv]

oh, sure, when SPIDERMAN leaps from rooftop to rooftop, performing death-defying extreme parkour stunts as he swings through the city, he’s “a hero” and “protecting the city”, but when i do it i’m “illegally trespassing on private property” and “a menace to society”, THAT’S how it is, huh,

[m1lfbatman]

peter parker said this in civilian clothing

[valtsv]

yours is the only funny and correct addition to this post

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

this is the only funny thing on yhe internet

[just-shower-thoughts]

Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

[blogtitletaken]

I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.

[castiel--for--king]

*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about

[sonneillonv-deactivated20220218]

*leans over and whispers back*  Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

[cameoappearance]

I agree with your actual point, but the way you phrased it makes me suspicious: the Tumblr experience

[pettycentral]

[cumdumpstiel]

when will a husband and wife who are widely rumored to be vampires invite me up to their once-gorgeous mansion which has fallen into some disrepair and then serve a beautiful meal that they barely pick at, sipping from glasses of dry red wine instead as they take turns complimenting me borderline-salaciously while shooting each other conspiratorial looks that i don’t know how to interpret before one of them insists that it’s getting far too late for me to be going back home alone and now i simply must spend the night…..

[cumdumpstiel]

in case the implied ending wasn’t clear enough: and then i get railed.

[mujersin]

My dream movie is a nun who moonlights as a gay nightclub DJ in 80s Berlin who opens the gates of hell by remixing what she thought were ancient gregorian chants w Italo disco

[sagihairius]

i hate public bathrooms for all the obvious reasons but also because one time somebody in the next stall silently reached under and untied my shoe

[hardoncaulfield]

Absolutely no one asked for this but we should bring back dueling scars as a fashion statement. I just think I’d have so much more sex appeal if I strutted about with a delicate scar on my cheekbone because absolutely nothing is as sexy as a young person of ambiguous gender in a ruffled shirt except for a young person of ambiguous gender in a ruffled shirt who obviously wields a sword

[kittensnax]