Harry woke up and his chest rose and fell quickly. He knew it was just a dream, but it still felt real. He felt the fear flow through his body as if it were hot lava; burning him alive. The terrible images ate into his head as if they were annoying parasites that wanted him to collapse. Harry wished he could turn off his thoughts and dreams without taking his potion, but unfortunately it wasnât that easy.
He shivered as he sat up and looked around. Nights like these killed him. Harrys thoughts, dreams and memories were worse than what he had seen in the war because his fantasy made everything even darker. He imagined what would have happened if he hadnât defeated Voldemort and how dangerous it had been for all of them to just ⊠die.
His breath quickened as he thought about how he should have survived without Hermione, Ron or ⊠Draco. At the mere thought of it, his mind went blank. Harry stared straight ahead empty-eyed and got goose bumps as he remembered fragile screams, deep pain and the cold that came from the Dementors. Almost so cold like right now; he was freezing and hugging his own knees.
The dream was almost forgotten again and Harry only remembered a few fragments, but those few bits of memories were enough to keep him awake and shaking.
Harry felt Dracoâs hands on his back and shoulders, but he couldnât bring himself to look up. He shook his head weakly and Draco pulled him into his arms without hesitation. Dracoâs movements were calm and slow, so Harry couldnât tell if he was doing it because he was still tired, or because he didnât want to unsettle Harry.
âDid you take your potions before going to sleep?â, Draco asked quietly into the darkness of their bedroom.
Harry could only shake his head again, knowing that the small vial was still standing untouched on his nightstand. He didnât want to take the potion, preferably never again, even though it kept his nightmares away. The next day, after taking the potion in the evening, he usually felt sick, exhausted and broken. As if the potion suppressed the dreams during the night, but in the morning, they destroyed Harryâs head like a tornado, which left the foundations of a house but made it uninhabitable.
âI couldnât. We both want to go to the Weasleys tomorrow morning and I have ⊠I have so much to do when Iâm at work in the afternoon. Thereâs the report for Robards and the meeting withâŠâ
Draco tightened his hug as Harry spoke hastily and rambled. Although Harry was now distracted by his nightmares, he still didnât relax and was tense.
âCalm down a little bit and donât worry so much,â Draco said.
âItâs three oâclock in the morning, so you donât have to think about work, Harry,â he added.
Harry swallowed hard and pulled his lower lip between his teeth.
âBut if I donât distract myself, then Iâm thinking of my nightmares again,â Harry whispered, trying to focus on Dracoâs closeness. He felt Dracoâs warm breath on the back of his neck and hoped that they could stay that way for the rest of night.
âYou could just take off tomorrow, and after we went to the Weasleys we could have a day together,â Draco suggested, not knowing what else to say to break the sudden silence between them and Harryâs tension. Several minutes passed before Harry spoke again.
âNo, I canât, as I said, I have to finish the report tomorrow and I have to prepare the meeting before we âŠâ
âOkay, okay, I understand,â Draco lied as he felt Harry get more nervous and breathe faster again. Sometimes a little lie was better than telling the truth. Draco knew there would be no point in arguing with Harry about work in the middle of the night. He ran his fingers calmly over Harryâs arms and felt the tense and trembling muscles under his touch.
âYou know, sometimes itâs not important to do something, only is it important for you to be something. Be grateful, be satisfied, be happy and loving as always. You donât have to stress yourself over things like work and always do something. Just being is enough too,â Draco said quietly, hoping Harry understood what he meant, even though Harry was probably still confused from his own thoughts and nightmares before.
âAnd for the nightmares ⊠weâre finding a better solution. I promise youâ, Draco said and was glad as he felt Harry relax a little bit. For this night, Dracoâs words seemed to be enough, and tomorrow morning, with the sun rising behind the hills near their house, he would think again about how he could help Harry more with his nightmares. For now Draco had no real plan, only words to fill the space between them, which was mostly filled with helplessness.
- If you find mistakes while reading, then Iâm really sorry. English is not my first language.Â
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