๐ฒ๐๐ฎ ๐๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐๐/๐ฟ๐๐น๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ด๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐ณ/๐บ
๐ข๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐๐บ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐๐ณ๐ข๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐จ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ด๐ถ๐ณ๐ท๐ช๐ท๐ฆ, ๐๐ท๐ข ๐๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ต๐ต ๐ฉ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ถ๐ค๐ช๐ฏ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฎ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฎ .
It's mid february. I'm sipping on a half-cold coffee, with my coat behind me on my chair, sitting in a pretty spacious coffee shop. I'm all alone this morning. I chose a seat away from people, but by a floor window with colorful frosted glass. The barista is not even visible from hereโ which is very nice. I can rot in my own company.
On mornings like these, it's still fairly chilly, enough to make the pavement and windows sparkle in the sunlight. I've always adored winter. Back when I was in college, I loved just staying in my dorm and researching the axis of different planets in our milkyway. Earth is actually tilted 23,44 degrees.
This coffee is absolutely amazing. Caramel milky, smooth as velvet on my tongue. I understand now why Ryland visited this shop often. He told me about it once, about how he found out first about the Petrova Line in this coffee shop on his laptop. I can only imagine how he reacted, probably like he reacts to anything about space or science.
He leaned forward, put his glasses on and fixed his eyes on the thing like a fox. Full interest, full intention and intensity. It shook me sometimes, how such an objectively immature man could fall into this: this curiousity, this hunger for knowledge. I know it all too well.
Hell, if I could, I'd know the whole world. Not that I'm calling him immature, I believe in everything he does. Other people view him that way much more than I do.
This coffee is only lukewarm because my thoughts drift off from time to time. I'm not hungry. Not really. I know the significance of nutrients and hydration and vitamins that foods bring, but I fear if I attempt to down anything else than this coffee right now, I might throw up. My stomach is churning from nothing.
What if I'm sitting in the exact seat Grace sat all this while ago? When none of us knew about one another, when he was just a school teacher at Grover Cleveland Middle and I was just an administrator at the Europian Space Agency.
None of this would've crossed my mind, if I had found somebody else. Somebody else to send to space like this.
I... mourn him. I mourn Yร o and Ilyukhina all the same, but especially him, since I dragged him onto this mission and technically, very technically, murdered him. I've thought about the police, about court. They will get me. They will get me if they want to, because of my actions to save earth. Yes, perhaps I can get a lawyer, underline my decisions with the right color and walk out free.
But now, looking at the milk swirls in my coffee, remembering the pathways I drew, the decisions I made for this mission to launchโ do I even deserve to run free? I'm murdering innocent people. I'm murdering an innocent man.
The seat across from me squeaks. I look up. He's wearing the fox cardigan, the blue button-up, his glasses around his neck. His hair is as messy as on the first day.
Was zur Hรถlle? What am I seeing?
๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ข๐ณ๐ค๐ฉ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ (๐ข๐ฐ3) "๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ช ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ" ๐ฃ๐บ ๐๐ข๐ณ๐ท๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐๐ถ๐ญ๐ถ๐ถ
~ rentry dividers: ~ @kthice