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[harveysresturant]

I hate and love how quick I am to trust someone. Kendrick once said “I’ll risk it all for a stranger”. That’s completely me, I take everyone so literal and so much to the heart.

I’ve met someone, he seems so more than worthy of investing in. His morals and I’s line up so well, he knows how to sit and listen to the music I show him, he makes me laugh, he makes me feel safe, I can be as open as I want, he loves his own company, I love him.

He reminds me of how Matty and I first started, no guy who as come in my life from Matty July 2025 to now with his new amazing man, have I felt such a INSTANT connection. In a sea full of Hinge likes, I replied to him with confidence and he was just nothing be a sweetheart and someone who seem worth getting to know.

I want to remain my independent self and also have an outlet to relax my mind and he’s doing that job amazing so far.

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Waiting for the day he comes back, till then I’ll work on myself and really learn me. Not just for him but to be the best version of me. That’s what he deserved the first time around…

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Miss picking the lint from his bellybutton

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Missing someone who felt like home

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I miss him. I like to think he knows it, I do know he doesn’t care.

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It not a question whether he wants me to show effort, it’s a question if he’ll accept what I have to offer in the effort…

I can try and say all the right things but will he take it the way I want him to or “settle” in his own ways? The last thing I want is for him to feel like he’s settling or feel like there’s someone else out there who will do it right (the first time too)

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I am convinced Matty only sees me as a friend. He has no interest in me as a girlfriend or passion to pursue me as a life partner.

I am crying as I am writing a part of his birthday letter which I will be blocking him as he will be reading on a plane across the world. For him and I to finally heal from this relationship.

I love him with all my heart, I feel terribly bad that I couldn’t show him my love for him in the way he wish i could.

I truly believe after this relationship I will be years single, not the “single” that I crave male attention but the “single” that male attention becomes foreign.

Pray for me

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As I sit with my family it feels weird when they’re the ones to bring up matty. My heart pounds and my arm pits start to sweat. No on matter what they ask I still tell them “he’s the one I want”

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He don’t love me no more

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As I sip on my wine, I always find myself thinking about matty and the couple we could’ve been. It brings me to tears when I think about it hard enough.

I just wish he didn’t give up on us so easily, especially now that we broke up. He seems too comfortable to not text me through his day and it’s not that I want to know what he’s doing, I simply just want to be apart of his day when I know I’m not going to see him.

And we when we don’t text for awhile, I think maybe he shouldn’t be in my life. Maybe we’d be okay with out one another and then I start to think of him with someone else and it absolutely crushes me cause I know how he can love someone, i only want to be the girl to experience that from here on out. So it does make me double text him and ask him pointless questions just remind him that I am here for him and us.

I sometimes i find myself wishing some elderly person told him what people who have been married for decades tell me. “You’re going to make mistakes, stick with someone who sticks with you when you mess up” so that he’ll know that not every relationship is perfect and ours definitely isn’t.

I just want him to know I’m willing to be here for as long as he is.

I love my Matty, I hope he feels that.

[harveysresturant]

My matty mckibben is starting to act different, I don’t want anyone else no matter how many other people I run into. He’s the only person I can think about.

But taking a free drink isn’t such a crime nor a ride home right (uber isn’t cheap around here)?

It’s not even that I can’t leave him alone or freak out when he does something out of our “ordinary”, I don’t want to leave him alone. I want him to be my end goal and I pray every night that I am his.

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I fear I may have found my Matty Mckibben!

The person who I love more than anything but also the person who I can’t seem to leave alone! No matter what they do or no matter what I do, we cannot leave one another alone.

Our relationship was perfect in the beginning (as beautiful as the scary/ traumatizing movies we all love). I got really drunk at a party and let this one drunk kid put his arm around me. Word got around that I was there and said boyfriend was upset. Rightfully so though, I didn’t know what to do or say other than 1000 sorry’s. And even now I feel like if I said a couple hundred more maybe we could’ve stayed in that relationship.

Point being, if you haven’t seen Awkward. You must!! If you love that lovey dovey, rom com shows that make you cry one minute and laugh the next.

[harveysresturant]

The movie “Ask me anything” has truly been a revelation in my life.

From been “too mature” for a young girls age to being in love with some you shouldn’t be is all far too real in my life.

Has anyone truly felt so seen by a single movie? I mean to the point where you question you’re own life. Or when too many things line up between your life and the movie, do you start think that’s how your life looks from a 3rd persons perspective?

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From friends to lovers, from lovers to friends

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y’all still use this stuff?