I hate being the responsible one @hatebeingtheresponsibleone - Tumblr Blog

I never wanted to do this... But I have no choice..

I am going to be straightforward, with the facts and just lay it all out there M… Dawnmarie Simon needs your support for Struggling Afte

Please share the link... just sharing would help...

gofund.me/818e8f99

but if you want to donate, I wont say no lol

#gofundme #needs #no money #hate asking

Venting cause today was shit:

Omg my husband is a fuckin asshole... I hate the way he talks to me sometimes. I feel like he's my dad and I know nothing. I know a friend if his wants him to leave me and move to new Hampshire because there would be a job for him... btw.. I don't like this friend but hubby is a big boy. He wants to take his advice, I'll pack his bags (I think like this: you ain't happy and want to leave, then leave cause no reason for both of us to be miserable) #husbands #venting #ugh

#husband #venting #bad day

Did something I never thought I would do....

Yesterday I had an event, being in charge of making sure the food buffet and the cake was set up, filled up and cleaned up. According to my friends, it was small, no frills, relaxed event, some family and friends.

Um,

Yes

It wasn't small

It was 4 hours and anywhere from 75-100 people depending on me to keep the food coming, making sure everyone got what they needed, made sure not to cut the cake pieces too big, make sure I packed everything for easy transportation and make sure to clean up so the venue didn't have to clean up my mess. And it was humid! And I was sweating buckets! And my makeup ran! and no one told me!

With dad, I was in a bubble for 5 years. There weren't any nights out, days out except for doctor's appt. and the occasional trip to the supermarket.

This was a huge deal as I haven't been in a social situation like this in years.

Was I nervous?

Yes!

Was I a wreck?

Definitely

Did I ask for help?

Yes, I actually accepted the help that was offered

Am I happy I did?

Absolutely!

Do I want to do this again?

For family and friends: Abso-fuckin-lotuely!!!!

For strangers: Um I dunno,

the MIND is willing

But

The 53 year old body has reservations about that.

Bottom line..

I'm tired

I'm overwhelmed

I'm achy and sore

It was stressful as hell but my friends were so thrilled with everything. Seeing the smiles on their faces was all the confirmation I needed to know.

..... and I got some bomb ass cake & Finback Cherry Ale!!!!

#grateful #over some #overwhelming #faith #hope #struggle #introvert #introvert in a social setting

Yep, Im still alive

I never said I would be on here daily so Im going to come and go as I please lol

Life is kicking my ass hardcore. Im so scared and petrified of the future. I have to leave my house where I loved for over 50 year due to a reverse mortgage that is now $750k. Im so angry at my dad for taking this one out. I never thought I would be without a home. He said so long as you keep up the maintenance and insurance, you will always have a roof over your head...

Yea

Right

What a crock...

But I cant just throw away all the years he was there for me and bailed me out of so many situations.

This fuckin sucks ass

Want to help me without handing money to my Gofundme? And get something in the process?

Head to my Poshmark and ebay stores!

Just click the links..

Poshmark:

https://Www.poshmark.com/closet/ditzy31

eBay:

https://Www.ebay.com/usr/ditzy31

Happy shopping!!!

bloombound

“If you see the beauty in something, don’t wait for others to agree”

— Sherihan Gamal

remanence-of-love

I feel like..

No one sees me

seabeck

Bonnets

Life after your loved one passes

Its like everyone wants you to bounce back to "normal' After 4 years of caregiving for my dad, what the fuck is normal? My life was on hold for 4 years.

People are already asking me if I'm looking for work. Shit I forget how to socialize, much less work with people.

I'm grieving.. or at least I think I am. I've been grieving my loss of my dad, the person he was for year now that I'm just, I don't even know the words.

Fuckin people suck

Just figured out something..

I really want my life to have a purpose,

a purpose I GET TO CHOOSE,

not one that gets thrust upon me,

#grief #life purpose #choose