serendipity

sometimes i wonder if i have enough time left to make myself who i want to be (all credit to original creators—nothing i post is mine unless i specifically say so)

[phlegathon]

i loved you and now you’re gone

1. nicole homer 2. kate mcgahan 3. panic! at the disco; the calendar 4. @ojibwa 5. 朱一龙, 郎朗 Zhu Yilong ft. Lang Lang; 叛逆者 Pan Ni Zhe 6. louise bourgeois

[moonstoast]

—longing for love

what i could never confess without some bravado by emily palermo // nickie zimov // homosexuality by frank o’hara // normal people (2020) // the unabridged journal by sylvia plath // holly warburton

[theorangepdf]

getting that august feeling (things that have ended endlessly are ending again)

[haunt3dh0use]

My favorite weather is the stillness that settles over the mountains after hours of wind and heavy snowfall that indiscriminately blankets everything in a layer of ice-cold calm. I like to walk outside then and appreciate the way the snow muffles any trace of other life, leaving only the huff of my own breathing to reach my ears. . .and when I slow my breathing enough, the world goes completely silent. Some nights, I lay for hours in the drifts of snow that mute the world and leave me privy to only my own thoughts; you’d imagine that I would eventually get tired of it, yet I find solace in the utter isolation, peace in being completely alone, but never lonely.

Supposedly, utter silence can drive the human mind to its breaking point, according to to some study or other, yet it is a condition which I force upon myself whenever possible. Perhaps the chaos inside my head compensates for the silence enveloping my body, or maybe I truly do seek to lose my mind, as it is the only escape from the vast emptiness I hold within me that demands to be felt in every aspect of my being.

- s.f.

[haunt3dh0use]

"I'm not used to being loved. I wouldn't know what to do."

- F. Scott Fitzgerald, More Than Just a House

[haunt3dh0use]

"Please don't expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand."

- Sylvia Plath

[haunt3dh0use]

"I am starved for tenderness and that is what is the matter with me and has been the matter with me for months.”

- May Sarton, Recovering: A Journal

[haunt3dh0use]

"I am a very boring and unpleasant man, drowned in literature.…But I love you."

- Vladimir Nabokov, in a letter to his wife Véra (1924), Letters to Véra

[haunt3dh0use]

“So this was how you died; in whispers that you did not hear.”

- Ernest Hemingway, from The Complete Short Stories

[haunt3dh0use]

"Suddenly you're ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you're alive and it's spectacular.”

- Joseph Campbell

[haunt3dh0use]

[haunt3dh0use]

“I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life.”

- Virginia Woolf

[haunt3dh0use]

perhaps i find some perverse enjoyment in being taken advantage of; used and discarded without a second thought, because feeling wanted—albeit for only a moment—distracts me from my craving for the love that i was never meant to have

-s.f. (me)