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Not happy about my birthday being next month, I’m so scared of celebrating it, I don’t want to expect anything (besides spending time with bf) because I’m scared of getting disappointed.
It’s not that I don’t want to celebrate it, it’s just that I don’t want to plan everything nor want to leave it to my parents and be disappointed.
I just don’t want to be doing the work for my own party, even if I wanna have it. Cuz after my 15th party my parents never cared to organize other party’s for me, which I understand, I was big enough to plan my own (and couldn’t even celebrate on the pandemic), but I just always feel like I have to do the work to be seen, I can’t just exist and be loved/seen for existing.
I also don’t want to deal with seeing my deadname on my birthday. Last year I had to suck it up. But I don’t want to deal with that this year now that I picked the legal name I wanna go by.
Maybe I’m just being dramatic and overly sensitive rn but I always seen birthdays as celebrations of the people but I don’t want to celebrate who I am this year, because I just feel broken and a mess.
It could also be that my distain to/fear of all holidays had been also applied to my own birthday. But idk.
baby regressor sniffling and clinging to their carer... not particularly upset over anything in specific just feeling emotional in general... head buried into their shoulder as your carer gently bounces you in their arms... carer letting you drift off to sleep against their chest, head on their shoulder...
Very personal n very embarrassing so posting here (tw neglect-related + brief mentions of abuse and declined mental health)
I never was nursed as a baby and it makes me so sad to think about :( I just refused to eat! And my mom had to spoon feed me formula, so I never got the chance to baby bond.
In psychology we learn how important is that bond n how in some theory’s (mainly gonna talk about psychoanalysis buh it shows up in other literature) how the first contact is so important for feeling wanted/cared for and how sometimes the baby just realizes it not wanted by the mom and causes these odd behaviors n what makes me the most angry I how no one thought to try baby therapists buh I also know people really don’t know about it… it just makes me sad that I never got to feel safe this way :(
And also sad about how I was so quiet and made myself small that no one realized I was struggling, no one realized I was an autistic child and I almost didn’t get diagnosed with depression as a tween due to that too :( and now I just have to deal with the consequences of everyone just letting me be the less important option
And I just really want parents that see me, that hear me and want to be there for me, and that notice the little things :( I had a really rough patch of my tweens where I was so angry and rebellious but all I got was yelled out for being bad. No one ever asked why I was being bad. I just sometimes want parents that could be a little overprotective but never demanding or rude or invasive, just care so much about me, I really want parents that care and would ask the “why” questions instead of just punishing me or calling me dramatic or yelling that I need to respect them or hitting my bum for being overwhelmed.
I just wished I wasn’t a bad baby , that I would nurse so I can at least cling to a time I was able to be comforted but that never existed.
I just feel like I always been a bad kid and I want to be a good kid but I wish someone (cg figure mainly) would tell me I was never a bad kid, I was just a kid, a disabled kid.
I just always chase to comfort I was never/poorly given.
⤷ Friendless Regressor—
A flag for Regressors who feel as though they have little to no friends or overall struggle with creating or maintaining friendships and/or past superficial levels. It makes them feel isolated, impact in their self-esteem and/or overall regression.
Colors have no particular meaning
⤷ Please do not vent in tags, thank you.
⤷ Credits—
Flag Template || Icon
Idk if that’s smth most people relate to but childhood for me is not comfort, is pain, I was such a lonely child, an undiagnosed lonely child, one that was constantly (socially/emotionally) neglected. I was a happy child for a very short period of time, and even the good memories hurt. But I still deeply long for the comfort of childhood, of the small things that made me safe and happy, even if it was briefly.
Childhood will always be bittersweet due to that, not because it was “simpler” but because of everything I needed and didn’t get, or the things I had being taken away from me instead of me being able to let go.
⤷ Corporal Punishment Regressor—
For regressors who suffered corporal punishments (such as shoving, spankings etc.) in their life, no matter how often it happened, and still carry that trauma. These regressors may fear being (or might expect to be) physically punished for mistakes/accidents/misbehavior etc.
Orange represents uneasiness, fear, anxiety and hypervigilance. Red represents anger and danger. Purples represent bruises, being literal or metaphorical.
⤷ Please do not leave vents under this post or on tags, thank you.
⤷ Credits—
Flag Template | Icon
⤷ Sexual Trauma Regressor—
For regressors who regress due (or have their regression impacted by) their sexual trauma, that being sexual assault, abuse, COCSA, being shown pornography at a young age etc. This flag is gender neutral.
This flag was inspired by the Abuse Survivor Unity flag.
⤷ Colors meanings—
Dark Purple — Domestic violence awareness and representing the courage of those who have gone/are going through sexual trauma of any kind.
Dark Blue — Child abuse awareness and wishing care and empathy for those who have gone/are going through sexual trauma of any kind.
Teal — Sexual abuse awareness (inspired by the ribbon) and representing renewal/new beginnings.
White — Violance against woman awareness (inspired by Australia’s campaign) and representing hope and healing.
Symbol — Fire Rose Unity Survivor symbol by Jacqueline Lin, representing solidarity, strength and power.
⤷ This flag and term was made by a survivor for others survivors and those still fighting, the colors have important meanings and I ask for the meaning to not be altered, although adding on to them or making your own version is allowed.
⤷ Assets—
Flag template, Colors ref
(Tw SA n Abuse mention)
I was gonna say I never been SA’d as a child but that’s a fucking lie, I did, and twice 😭
I say this cuz I always picture my vent regression as a child that went through abuse/neglect, which in fact I did, and I always go “oh I’m just exaggerating” when I actually am not, I went through those things.
Spent a few days with mama and it was so nice now I’m all alone :(
ღ Porcelain Doll Regressor icons requested by @blossomtreeangel (please reblog if you save)!
❤︎ 𓏏𓏏 sexual assault𓏼abuse regressor。 𓏼 ⓘ ── coined by @muttere。
a flag for regressors who are𓏼were victims of sexual assault or abuse。 no matter what type or form of sa or abuse one experienced, anyone who has experienced trauma of this nature may use and interpret this flag as they desire or see fit。 whether one's regression is shaped by this trauma, a response to such trauma or is otherwise affected by such trauma, this flag is for survivors who use regression to cope。 perhaps one can only process their trauma through regression, is permanently regressed due to what they've been through, or one experiences feelings of shame, guilt, dirtiness, humiliation, etc while regressed。 perhaps one's regression has been deemed "unsavory" due to stigma, or is non──traditional in nature due to one's experience as a survivor。 no matter the reason for regression or the feelings which come along with it, this flag may be interpreted as needed for each individual who resonates with it。
teal is the color of sexual assault awareness, hence the color of this flag。
please only use this flag if you yourself are a survivor in some capacity。 non──survivors may reblog and uplift this post as much as desired without use。 if using please credit me somewhere on the post or on your profile。 do not repost, use without credit, or claim as your own。 please tag me in edits/creations𓏼 i'd love to see ^_^。 tagging @bunnelbaby for archiving。
ⓘ : this post is worded similarly to the flags posted by @ffawnkit。 that blog is one of mine。 i was conflicted on whether to post here or there so i am adding a disclaimer in case anyone notices the similar wording。
Lonely Regressor flags for those who regress to cope with or as a result of loneliness, grew up feeling lonely, feel lonely while regressed or in the regression community, etc. (please reblog if you save)!
While I am very sorry to anyone who experiences this, please refrain from venting in the comments or tags of this post.
childhood neglect age regressor flag
for those who age regress/dream due to experiencing childhood neglect (whether it be physical, emotional, or any other type), or use age regression/dreaming to help cope with childhood neglect
the green/browns are supposed to look like murky or muddy water, and the blues are meant to look like clear and clean water
Trauma Girl Regressor flags for those who identify with girl regression to cope with or as a result of trauma (please reblog if you save)!
Please note this is a gender neutral term, meaning anyone and everyone can identify with them regardless of their identity! If this flag doesn’t resonate with you, please feel free to design your own! This is based on my personal experience as a nonbinary regressor who identifies with girl regression to reclaim my childhood.
🧸✨ Trauma Regressor flag for those who regress to cope with personal trauma of all kinds (please reblog if you save)! ✨🧸
Fragile flags!
Fragile regressor -
A regressor who is fragile in some way, emotionally or physically or mentally.
Fragile caregiver -
A caregiver who is fragile in some way, emotionally or physically or mentally.
Fragile flip -
A flip who is fragile in some way, emotionally or physically or mentally.