the tea

-- better lock it in your pocket, taking this one to the grave. What's up, losers? You wanna talk shit about your fellow peeps with powers? Good. Imma help you.

[havgossip]

One time, Lucy punched me in the face. It was awesome.

Somehow I doubt that, but thanks for the gossip input, I suppose? Is Lucy Harper the undercover Regina George? More to come!

[havgossip]

gordon's evil plan must be to turn everyone in NYC into himself. That's name-brand narcissism isnt it? >:O

Well, even if it was, it would all just be an illusion. Dear Gordon is nothing but a grand scam, isn’t he? Even with all his madness and assumed trips to “wonderland” (if you know what I mean), magic still isn’t real.

[havgossip]

I was on my Ouija board yesterday and the spirits told me Carlos and Lily did the devil's deed in the pit of sin first on an Internet forum, Omegle, then used sonar navigation to find each other in a laundry shop. You heard it here first, peeps. Can Audrey Chen confirm these findings or can anyone add to this juicy headliner? What's your take, AK &47?

Oh dear, I hope Lily is prepared for Carlos’ fucked up mind. And I hope that you stop playing with Ouija boards, friend. Those are creepy as hell.

Anyway, let’s ask @audreyxchen to investigate these rumors from the spirit world.

[havgossip]

who do you think would survive the longest in an NYC version of the Hunger Games?

Either Sammy or Rory, because they can hide in a tree and be invisible. I was going to say Xavier because he can talk everyone into liking him, but he won’t live long without alcohol. And Carlos could make everyone turn against themselves, but Lily appears to be immune to that, so she could still kill him.

[havgossip]

any specific couples you'd like to see interact more?

Carlos and Lily. Gordon and Ryder. Jeremy and Mason. Dakota and Xavier. They’re definitely couples.

[havgossip]

A reliable source tells me Ryder subscribes to Marie Claire and he has secret aspirations to be on Project Runway Junior, since he original career plans of working at Kaiser Permanente was permanently ruined. Thoughts?

Would he be a judge? Because he’s too old for a junior. Maybe he secretly has kids? Stay tuned for more, peeps!

[havgossip]

Do you think Robin writes dirty Glee fan-fiction or does he actually write serious stuff?

I think Robin Anderson is currently writing a better version of 50 Shades Of Grey, featuring sloths. It’s going to be a best-seller.

[havgossip]

A pro-tip for Pearl, I hear Xav has a database of low-calories, no-fructose memories of working at Walmart, using the VR headsets as a discount weed trip. Any confirmation on these sources?

No confirmations here, but I hope Pearl makes sure to look into it.

[havgossip]

I’ll leave some questions for my partner in crime. My crime is being the greatest. Seven’s crime is being an idiot with a conveniently attractive face. But listen, once you spend time with him, you’ll realize that’s all he is. A pretty face. 

Yet still better than Trump. #707ForPresident 

Anyway, send us more things to answer, because I know you all want to know the most ridiculous things. And I love it. 

[havgossip]

Thoughts on Carlos and Lily?

Carlos needs to stop trying so hard. We get it, you’re a dick because you have daddy issues. You can calm your tits. Find Jesus. Practice some yoga. Inner peace is around the corner. Or you can just continue being an evil little prick.

Protect Lily. She feels too much and she’s precious. Also her parents are assholes and need to do the same as Carlos. I want to pet Lily’s face and tell her it’ll all be okay. No homo.

[havgossip]

Grade the people of NYC of how much they need Jesus.

From least to most, because suspense.

Diondra (needs less Jesus)

Jeremy

Lily

Orion

Lucy

Poppy

Dakota

Audrey

Pearl

Sammy

Robin

Rory

Ryder

Carlos

Mason

Xavier

[havgossip]

Best partner for Lily, platonically and romantically?

Platonically I want to say Jeremy or maybe Orion. Romantically, no one deserves her. All these people are too messed up. 

[havgossip]

Do you think Jeremy and Orion sleep with teddy bears at night? Twenty dollar says Xavier, Carlos, and Lily sleep with Mr. Bear Bear too.

Oh, yes, absolutely. Though I think Orion sleeps with that cat of theirs and Jeremy might just sleep with a bag full of money, like Prince John from Robin Hood. You know, the lion version. Xavier sleeps with Rory, Carlos sleeps with the devil and Lily might actually own a teddy bear.

[havgossip]

A is the best though.

I’ll fight you, IRL. Just don’t punch my face because I need my face.

Your face is literally the only valuable thing about you. I love my munchkins. Boycott 707.

[havgossip]

Seven, you're HOT. Like, 98°F. So as the resident hot-butt, who do you think are the modt attractive people here?

1. I’m obviously 100°F, don’t undercut me. 2. I’m the most attractive.

But fine. Top five, regardless of gender, in no particular order because I don’t want to pick a favourite child.

Robin - he is like a really hot dad. Not my dad, but if he wants to be my dad, I’m fine with that.Mason - He could be me so that makes him hot.Lily - She just looks like she would be a good cuddler and cuddles are fucking hot.Diondra - She has that innocent thing about her is unbearably hot.Pearl - Pretty much the opposite of Diondra, she’s got the bad girl thing going on and SHUT UP OKAY, GIRLS ARE HOT. GUYS ARE HOT. I’M HOT.

[havgossip]

orion and sammy or orion and mason?

My personal vote is Orion and finding themselves someone stable because let’s be real, both of those choices are a little messed up. But if I had to choose I guess Orion and Sammy because at least they have history and Sammy is basically a cat so Orion could pet them.

[havgossip]

Hi hoes. I’m not A, I’m not so pretentious to have a letter for a name. My name’s Seven, because that isn’t even a little pretentious, right? I personally think y’all need jesus but I thought I would pop in to say hi to you motherfuckers. If you want to ask me questions, go for it!