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@hawkmetrianon
hello world! its me. hawkmetri anon of no attachments and spit the blood back baby fic writing fame. im on tumblr now! im usually a fandom lurker, but i honestly miss being in fandom spaces so im making a tentative return after a long while
so, hi, again! im very excited to be here and would love to talk about the boys :). totally down to chat hcs, my fics, my FUTURE fics (i have so many in my head), anything at all. these losers have infested my brain
They are the hawkmetri we need, but don't deserve 🥺
so true! its been so long since this was asked so i honestly dont remember whatever the context is for this but im sure its so true my friend
HIII DUDE!! So like I just watched transformers and idk if ur part of the fandom but I had an idea... Okay so, I just got back into the Transformers fandom and I had a sudden thought. While Demetri was sad and depressed that all his friends are caught up in karate and that Eli was not Eli and was Hawk now, he was suddenly slammed into finding a cool car and getting in the middle of a 1v1 Decepticon vs Autobot fight so they got no choice but to take him in now So basically who needs friends and more karate drama when you got huge giant emotionally constipated alien robots constantly at each other's necks?
hello! i unfortunately know very very little about transformers so i dont know how many cents i can add to this idea! i do however think eli would get momentarily distracted from being karate-evil because WHOA SICK ASS GIANT ROBOTS and that somehow the transformers would end up doing karate
HawkmetriAnon! Hope you're doing good this April :)
hello my friend! tyvm for the check in. very busy april for hawkmetrianon! hope youre doing alright too x
this one went CRAZY on tt, just a joke guys PLEASE it's just a joke
scp// cksscenes
maybe a weird question but have u ever considered doing a crossover fic? you just have so many cool ideas, so j was wondering :)
oh hmmmm i guess not? idk what i’d even crossover with yk?
roy is a flop #hewillbedealtwith #getridofhim
im sorry anon (who might be eli moskowitz in disguise) roy is HERE and theres NOTHING you can do about it!
hawkmetri time travel au!
i briefly mentioned this au in an ask a bit ago, so i thought, hey, let me actually talk about it! this au is insane as per usual, and deals with timey wimey bullshit combined with eli's stupidity. match made in HELL <3
enjoy this insanity!
we begin season six part one - hawkmetri has just divorced for the bajillionth time in the woods and eli is ANGSTING
hes all "my girl is mad at me i hope i die" and is like "man, if only i was never hashbrown evil way back when i joined cobra kai maybe things would be different... if only i could go back in time- WAIT"
and creates a time machine in like two hours. for demetri. no he does not realise he is in love with him at the time
then he time travels to season one on the day miguel showed up
things go mostly as normal except maybe hes a little more hawk-ish as eli (which raises eyebrows with demetri bc WHOA you just called kyler a bitch since when did you do that)
he joins cobra kai as normal but, you know, doesn’t start acting like a complete supervillain
he respects that demetri doesn’t want to join, doesn’t instantly decide all nerd shit is awful, has better control over his impulses. all that stuff
he completely forgets about moon at the party and never ends up making out with her because hes so focused on making sure demetri is okay and having a good time and just never ends up dating her
demetri is a little caught off guard by how suddenly attentive eli is being but whos he to look a gift horse in the mouth and all
at the all valley, eli doesnt dislocate robbys shoulder. this leads to robby winning the all valley over miguel
the robguel beef goes even crazier, and miguel is so mad that he lost that sam is EXTRA breaking up with him and thats when eli remembers why time travel is always a bad thing in movies
he forgot to account for the butterfly effect (idiot) but its too late now isnt it
toryguel get together and make each other SO much worse, and samrobby are basically endgame now, and kreese is getting to miguel and everything is sort of falling apart
EXCEPT for him and demetri! theyre great! in fact, they start dating! because eli has finally realised that hes maybe a tad in love with the guy hes ruining lives and time itself for
but its also kind of bad because demetri has Basically no friends outside of eli, since miguel is being Evil, moon and eli never dated so their friendship never happened, and demetri was never driven to join miyagi do so the miyagi do trio also never happened
surely this will have no further consequences
eli keeps an eye on sam and miguel at moons party, but nothing happens between them, so he thinks the school fight simply wont happen
which means hes caught really off guard when robby starts fighting miguel in the middle of the school day over their shared johnny related daddy issues
the fight escalates like in canon except instead of robby kicking miguel off the balcony, sam ends up paralysing tory by accidentally pushing her down the stairs
sam goes to JUVIE and the larussos DIVORCE, basically ending miyagi do, and this causes johnny to go all in on kreese and his evil plots
it is at this point that eli really begins regretting his decisions
miguel is now basically ultra evil because hello his girlfriend just got PARALYSED and he is even beginning to turn on eli for not being as committed to cobra kai as he could be (too busy with demetri)
and he does love demetri and enjoys being able to have a mostly karate drama free relationship with him but at this point he knows he HAS to go back because hes made everything ten times worse
this demetri is so similar to HIS demetri but hes also so different. hes more subdued, less confident, more melancholic. hes lonely, still feeling outcasted and lame. he has eli, and theyre in love, but its like theres something more that hes just missing
and all of this bullshit is what it takes for Eli to realise he needs to own up to his mistakes and that the past is the past and he can’t (can, but shouldn’t) change it, but that doesn’t mean it has to define him.
demetri means so much to him and so he should be able to talk to him, and whether or not demetri will take him back is unknowable but he has to try in order for their relationship to be stronger and grow etc etc etc
so now the issue becomes fixing his time machine. and theres only one person he could call for that
which does mean that he has to reveal to demetri, his boyfriend, that he invented time travel because his version of him was mad at him for a lot of things stemming from his history of karated based war crimes
and eli is so scared that thisll chase demetri away again and hes just learnt how much he loves him and how much he missed out on in his timeline so telling him is almost impossible because he did this all so he and demetri could be okay and now hes revealing all the things he did in the first place that ruined them…
but he has to go back to his time and if that means demetri knowing all the fucked shit hes done then it has to be like that
and demetri is like wow thats a lot to process. youre such a fucking dick you know that right. youre also really dumb
he chews eli out for being an asshole AND an idiot (“the premise of almost ALL time travel media is that you dont do exactly what you just did. you understand that right?”) but also reassures him that no matter what, demetri always loves eli
so they fix the time machine, not without demetri asking so many questions though. like sure eli just admitted to committing karate crimes against him and others and generally being the worst but how could he focus on that when time travel is REAL
“your version of me sounds… a lot cooler than me.” / “nah, hes still a loser. but you two are kind of different.” / “in a good way or a bad way?” / “thats a trick question.” / “what? c’mon, tell me! i promise i wont be mad. i mean- hes still me!” / “no way. doesnt that break time travel rules?” / “oh so now youre worried about the rules? also, you just told me all about your karate war crimes! we’re way past breaking the rules here!”
and once the time machine is fixed and eli is set to go back to his timeline he of course gives this demetri his love and promises to be better and to love him how he deserves in all timelines blah blah blah they’re sappy and adorable
eli gets back to his timeline at the exact same time he left it despite having lived like a year and a half in between, and just beelines to demetri’s house
demetri, who is angsting about their divorce less than 24 hours ago, is very pleasantly surprised when eli bursts into his home and starts grovelling at his feet
like whoa! hes getting a genuine apology from eli! and an explanation! and also a love confession! what is happening!
and what is happening is that it took eli inventing time travel to realise: hey, maybe i should just say im sorry
fellas is it gay if i invent time travel because my best friend is mad at me and i want you to always be happy with me?
hope this was fun for you guys! i love timey winey bullshit aus
HELLO TUMBLR NATION
new chapter of spit the blood back, baby is finally out. sorry it took so long. love you all
find it on an ao3 page near you! or, right at this link here
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64929919/chapters/209910061?view_adult=true
im very excited to be back guys you have no idea. i hopefully wont be away for too long in between this chapter and the next (though i Cannot promise you anything im sorry) BUT im very excited about the next chapters of this fic so i hope to make time to get to it!
to make up for my multiple month long absence and to hopefully soften the blow for when i inevitably disappear for even more months, here are some sneaky out of context peeks at what is to come in the next few chapters:
insanely freaky vampire smut. like, so freaky that idk if ill have the strength to write it when i get there LOL
coyotes in californian suburbs
more hashbrown vampire lore/eli backstory in this au
80s new wave and 90s west coast rap
demetri falling out of a window
roy.
robby taking up a new career
naruto shipping discourse in the big 2018
hopefully that will tide you guys over until the next one!
Wait a second..... FALLING OUT A WINDOW?! BROS GUNNA PULL A DANNY DEVITO PENGUIN MOVE 😭😭😭😭
i fear i don’t understand this reference please enlighten me my good tumblr user
If I remember in one of the batman movies Penguin (played by Danny Devito) was thrown out a window
ohhh i see. well... to be as vague as possible, he doesnt get thrown out the window...
HELLO TUMBLR NATION
new chapter of spit the blood back, baby is finally out. sorry it took so long. love you all
find it on an ao3 page near you! or, right at this link here
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64929919/chapters/209910061?view_adult=true
im very excited to be back guys you have no idea. i hopefully wont be away for too long in between this chapter and the next (though i Cannot promise you anything im sorry) BUT im very excited about the next chapters of this fic so i hope to make time to get to it!
to make up for my multiple month long absence and to hopefully soften the blow for when i inevitably disappear for even more months, here are some sneaky out of context peeks at what is to come in the next few chapters:
insanely freaky vampire smut. like, so freaky that idk if ill have the strength to write it when i get there LOL
coyotes in californian suburbs
more hashbrown vampire lore/eli backstory in this au
80s new wave and 90s west coast rap
demetri falling out of a window
roy.
robby taking up a new career
naruto shipping discourse in the big 2018
hopefully that will tide you guys over until the next one!
Wait a second..... FALLING OUT A WINDOW?! BROS GUNNA PULL A DANNY DEVITO PENGUIN MOVE 😭😭😭😭
i fear i don’t understand this reference please enlighten me my good tumblr user
HELLO TUMBLR NATION
new chapter of spit the blood back, baby is finally out. sorry it took so long. love you all
find it on an ao3 page near you! or, right at this link here
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64929919/chapters/209910061?view_adult=true
im very excited to be back guys you have no idea. i hopefully wont be away for too long in between this chapter and the next (though i Cannot promise you anything im sorry) BUT im very excited about the next chapters of this fic so i hope to make time to get to it!
to make up for my multiple month long absence and to hopefully soften the blow for when i inevitably disappear for even more months, here are some sneaky out of context peeks at what is to come in the next few chapters:
insanely freaky vampire smut. like, so freaky that idk if ill have the strength to write it when i get there LOL
coyotes in californian suburbs
more hashbrown vampire lore/eli backstory in this au
80s new wave and 90s west coast rap
demetri falling out of a window
roy.
robby taking up a new career
naruto shipping discourse in the big 2018
hopefully that will tide you guys over until the next one!
The words "80s new wave and 90s west coast rap" were spoken and I'm just here swinging my legs, humming and being like "yeah, be as freaky as you want"
oh trust me, i will be!
okay listen... listen... imagine robby entering the hawkmetri chat... how would that work in ur opinion? I'm saying they DO end up being a throuple,,, but how do they get there? like who approaches who first and what drama would be funniest for this ot3 journey 🤔?
(you got me thinking about this thru hawk and robby's jacob/edward emo moments in STBBB... please indulge this brainworm ask 👀)
this ask comes to me at a hilarious time as i quite literally was saying to a friend today that one day, eli hawk moskowitz is gonna make me so mad that i write robmetri just to spite him
this is an interesting question for me! im personally not on the robhawk train (sorry robhawk nation! power to ya! i fear their joint inferiority complexes and anger issues irritate me too bad). tbh i dont really ship eli with anybody beyond demetri because i think demetri is the only person who could love eli as a whole (pre-hawk included!) because he always HAS loved eli as a whole. i do enjoy shipping demetri with others (whoremetri is hashbrown CANON and demetri deserves all the love ever) but hawkmetri is king to me of course
HOWEVER. robhawkmetri throuple fries… i could be peckish. i guess in my head the only way for robby and eli to actually. talk to each other and Connect and communicate on that level is with demetri mediating (which, basically happened in the egg episode). demetri will give these toxic bisexual karate boys the therapy they need while also. making out with them. with the inferiority complexes both eli and robby have and the way they both suffered from emotional neglect theyd probably be competing for demetris love and affection to an annoying degree. somebody save him (and me)
do i think robmetri had a bit of a thing in season two? well yes! demetri totally couldve had a crush on the punky golden retriever boy who would defend his honour from his evil ex (best friend) thank you very much much! like, that scene after demetri dunks on eli at moons party and robby steps in to protect him from eli? im sat! hawkmetri are soulbonded but demetri can have a little fling as a treat!
it did dawn on me early on in writing stbbb that id created such a bella/edward/jacob vibe between these three by making robby a werewolf and i found it hilarious. the concept of robhawkmetri in stbbb is so funny because itd just be demetri being tormented by TWO annoying emo supernatural boyfriends and they hate each other, as if eli wasnt enough of a problem for him. and then robby and hawk in their weird emo dick measuring contests as per usual. somebody drop hammers on these losers now!
in stbbb canon, its heavily implied that eli does Think that robby has something for demetri. though its more intended as stbbb!robby’s desire for connection and community in General, it can be read as a romantic thing! eli is a very unreliable narrator he has no clue whats going on in his own head let alone other people’s. both eli and robby feel like demetri is “their” person (eli because of the Bond, robby because he considers demetri part of his Pack), and that combined with their usual disdain for each other makes for a really strange dynamic. they also are two sides of the same coin to me (esp in this fic) and are constantly projecting onto each other. theyre just… so… emo…
i fear stbbb!eli (and, probably normal eli) would never allow this throuple to happen though because he could and would NOT share demetri (which TOTALLY isnt a Thing that is really relevant to the next few chapters of stbbb). i think eli would rather die, honestly. especially if it was ROBBY of all people he had to share with (or god forbid, TAKING demetri from him. his crazy ass)
very fun ask! robby is actually one of my favourite characters (and i am sat on the robmetri train with sunglasses and a hat on) so this was interesting. lowkey it would be very easy to persuade me to write robmetri (so if thats what you want to see… yk what to do). robby and hawks dynamic is also a really interesting one for me to explore (because theyre cut from the same annoying angsty emo cloth). i again apologise to robhawk nation for my disinterest in gaining citizenship. im sorry that i cannot see your vision </3
i will now be pondering this concept for the next few business days. thanks for the ask!
HAWKMETRI NATION WE ARE SO BACKKKKK.... ANON HAS RETURNED :DDD
Glad you're back! Loved reading Hawk in his pathétique yearner redemption arc... demetri by power of the narrative is gonna get w this guy and I think Hawk and the rest of us know that he's SO DAMN LUCKY this is a hawkmetrianon production™ because otherwise there is no wayyyyy my GOAT Alexopolous is going anywhere NEAR that punk ass Edward Cullen cosplayer.
Hawkmetri stan by birth but DEMETERI STAN by choice 🙏😤
<3 <3 <3 !!!
HELLO! IM ALIVE!
eli is soooo pathetic yearner boyfailure in this au its crazy. hes so wet dog he might as well be a werewolf. demetri is going to get with him (sorry goatmetri you gotta have the freaky vampire sex its in my contract) but TRUST ME when i say its going to. take a lot to get there. and also that eli will suffer greatly in the meantime LOL
i fear eli’s actions in the next few chapters will make him v edward look like the whole coughing baby v hydrogen bomb meme. he gets. unusual(er than normal) and insane(r than normal), to say the least. jumping from NA to THIS was crazy because its so much more unhinged (and im not just talking about the smut…)
demetri is my beautiful angel baby who deserves the world and eli is my stupid chud son who i need to kill with a spanner and a wrench. i love them both dearly. one more than the other but yk
thanks for the love! excited to be back <3
HELLO TUMBLR NATION
new chapter of spit the blood back, baby is finally out. sorry it took so long. love you all
find it on an ao3 page near you! or, right at this link here
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64929919/chapters/209910061?view_adult=true
im very excited to be back guys you have no idea. i hopefully wont be away for too long in between this chapter and the next (though i Cannot promise you anything im sorry) BUT im very excited about the next chapters of this fic so i hope to make time to get to it!
to make up for my multiple month long absence and to hopefully soften the blow for when i inevitably disappear for even more months, here are some sneaky out of context peeks at what is to come in the next few chapters:
insanely freaky vampire smut. like, so freaky that idk if ill have the strength to write it when i get there LOL
coyotes in californian suburbs
more hashbrown vampire lore/eli backstory in this au
80s new wave and 90s west coast rap
demetri falling out of a window
roy.
robby taking up a new career
naruto shipping discourse in the big 2018
hopefully that will tide you guys over until the next one!
HELLO TUMBLR NATION
new chapter of spit the blood back, baby is finally out. sorry it took so long. love you all
find it on an ao3 page near you! or, right at this link here
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64929919/chapters/209910061?view_adult=true
obligatory “im still alive” post! hello! sorry for the radio silence - im still getting absolutely Life’d. i WILL return i swear. i miss hawkmetri like a mf. i am itching to get back to writing and also making my way through my inbox but its on hold for now. thank you for the patience and support. love y’all!
guys i just KNOW hawk never shut up about demetri during the s3 divorce. like his ass was 100% like "yeah miyagi do sucks lol...but seriously what was up with demetri's right jab? what a loser lol. and did you see his shirt? he's such a dork, like grow up already amirite? guys? anyone?" they had to be just the slightest bit relieved when he finally switched to miyagi do and not at all surprised when they saw him next to demetri 24/7 like yeah that checks out actually.
they're so maniac coded, editing this brought me back to 2019 actually, that was surreal
scp// cksscenes
