knockin' on @hcavensdoor - Tumblr Blog

i made a new blog if anyone wants it hmu

i constantly feel second best goodnightttttt

so heres a lil life update for u

on my birthday, the boy i’ve loved since i was probably 9 years old had a baby to his fiance, i knew about it, but then he was born on my birthday - making it the second ex to have a baby on my birthday in the past two years.

i got a ‘job’, it was supposed to be all of january, i’ve done 3 days and i spend my wednesday’s constantly checking my phone to see if the rosters come out to see if i actually got any fucking shifts. i didn’t last week, lets hope for this week lmao.

both of which are fucking with my mental state, i’ve always had this feeling of second best and neither of these things are helping and i feel like i’m losing my goddamn mind.

i went to see a star is born with my mum the other day, no one warned me about the ending, my uncle hung himself nearly 6 years ago now and i cant watch that shit without having a mental breakdown

my best friend is moving to a town 3 hours away and its gonna be so shitty too

i kinda wanna die

so all in all my mental health is shit and everything is trash and i think about writing and then nothing happens

#ooc.#this doesnt even make sense

i still exist my mental health is just like -17

#might be here tomororw maybe #mobile is ugly

it’s my birthday and i want to die

#this is 22 apparently #ooc.

its a new year, it’s my birthday tomorrow, i start work in less than a week but i’m here and trying to get back into writing. we’ll see how that goes

#ooc.

about hazel; just got out of a toxic long term relationship, lots of abuse of all kinds, etc. is a little bit broken bc of it, is just trying to move on. she works in fashion, prob dressed v fancy. take this wherever u want. could be friends, complete strangers - be platonic, take advantage of her, i’m here for anything!!

“i just had the tinder date from hell, i’m pretty sure he would’ve murdered me or something if i hadn’t gotten out of there. dude was next level crazy, like, could’ve outdone my ex kinda crazy, and he was the kind of guy to just hit me for the sake of it. i guess i owe you one for getting me out of there, thank you for that.”

#interactions; hazel stewart.#indie rp #indie smut rp #does that tag still exist lmao