Viewer discretion is advised on this blog lots of spice and mature content and there is a healthy amount of fluff on here but be warned: if you’re looking for good wholesome content on my other blog:
Fluffy blog: @headingalaxys-sweet
Other Blog where more content is posted: @headingalaxys
The Masterlist will be updated when my brain can get its shit together and there might be more master lists than planned because I do like answering asks and it makes these things long. Regardless I’m trying to make sure you have a fun time on my page even though let’s be real : I’m a depressed degenerate who’s on here because reasons.
Masterlist I : Cardverse and Demon
Masterlist II: Golden Nightingale, Mafia, Magical Strike, and Mating Season
(Update 4/29/2024 10:07am I still have to work on the full new master lists that will separate by character but I will keep these up that separate by AU)
1. When you send in asks keep it to 5 characters per ask.
2. No being r@cist, h0mophobic, tran$phobic xen0phobic, or being a nuisance in general I'll delete your ask in a heartbeat. I don’t try to be super political on here but it will be present to some degree with that being said Free Palestine 🍉, Congo, Haiti, and Sudan! We’re not free until we’re all free! I said what I said anyways.
3. On this page I write purely for Hetalia only. I may write for other fandoms in the future but I'll do it on a different Tumblr and on Wattpad. (Creates the Wattpad and Ao3 and hardly EVER touches it XD)
4. I can answer intense asks that involve subject matter like $mut, mental illness, angst, death, and other things like that but depending on what it is will determine if I answer it or not. Some stuff freaks me out. I do write male reader inserts too. So don’t hesitate to ask for it.
Overall don't be a jerk. Seriously we're all here to have fun and be the nerds that we are. Life sucks already offline.
It is with some sadness that I must announce that my fellow admin and I have decided to shut down this blog.
CanUkr means the world to me and I had been on the fence for so long about even WANTING to run a ship event for them because every time I posted an interest poll, the results would came back on the side of “not interested”. I knew going into this that we wouldn’t get a lot of participants, but I wasn’t expecting the turnout to be this low.
It’s been incredibly hard on me to see this event that I and my friend put so much hard work into for a ship I love and care so much about, only to be ignored by the wider majority and feeling as if we practically had to resort to begging people to join. It’s taken a huge toll on me mentally and emotionally, which is why Spider and I have agreed that it’s best to just shut down the blog.
Thank you to everyone who showed so much support for and participated in our short run at a ship event for CanUkr. 💕
I know this sounds silly but like I want this event to come back. And like I really didn't appreciate the artists and the girl behind it more. Maybe if I did they'd be here maybe? Idk but I'll do more of CanUkr art on @headingalaxys-sweet since well I have more fluffy thoughts for them and cuteness this page is well its in the name for spicy couples.
Hell yeah! I apologize that I haven't been writing as much lately but I do have projects and asks that I will start posting in Summer. ☀️ I just hope I'm not too late responding to this lol. I hope you have a great evening/ day!
I rarely use tumblr unless it’s to repost my indie project no one cares about but I forgot that this is how a lot of people connect with fandom spaces and I could totally dump my fanworks here.
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I don’t usually publicly talk abt my heta interest bc I’ve got a big history special interest so I always redo the characters in my headcanons which makes them a bit older and crustier usually and ALWAYS with lore accurate uniforms.
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If you’re curious, it’s Arthur in a ww2 Royal Airforce Uniform, François in a ww2 French naval uniform, Ivan in a ww2 Soviet Infantry officer’s uniform and Alfred in a ww2 American combat engineer uniform.
Low key headcannons incoming? (Yall want me to do that hit me in the DMS I can probably hit a headcannon out before a fully realized story and currently the "code speakers" timeline is invading my thoughts and will likely be the next story that is out on this page.)
I swear I am moving out of my depression and into asks.
Transcribing the handwriting:
Navajo reader x Ivan / Russia during WWII ? Specifically a gender neutral reader w / few she/ her pronouns and could I request it to be angsty. With a hint of suggestiveness.suggestive nesscary.
Characters of your choosing with an eight foot beefy lady as a partner. Could be a demon or just a really freaking jacked fae lady. Or some other being. I don’t know. All I know is big strong women are hot.
Going to go with a lady of the fae this time :) Hope you enjoy! This has one moment of slight NSFW but nothing too crazy.
America
Alfred is going to be Instagramming, tweeting, and ensuring the fan page you have is accurate. Much more specifically in the area of who you're dating *cough* HIM AND to obsessively check to make sure your height on their reads no more than 8"5. (His ego is lowkey hurtin' he prefers shorter darlings but you were to awesome of a choice for him to consider passing over)
Will buy cameos from you daily so that the world knows the two of you are an item. Or to imply that there is "funny" business going on OR he will make you walk into a pun.
Alfred is astonished but loves a challenge when it comes to going to places like Golden Corral, Waffle House, or like a Taco Bell. You can eat, fight, and have an unbothered digestive system.
Will always ask you to do some enchanted stuff but you never really take him seriously. You do this because you know he's overly obnoxious when it comes to new things and he still has some level of disbelief about the Fae. (Which we all know is a dangerous combination to have when dealing with your kind. )
Germany
Ludwig is thrilled to have a partner that now makes his workout routine far more difficult than working out with Prussia.
"MEIN GOTT! MEINE BENIE! MEIN ARM UND MEIN BAUCHMUSKELN ALLES EN SCHMERZ!"
Ludwig's new favorite activity: Measuring your biceps circumference every morning. He loves keeping track of your progress. He thinks you're the perfect specimen physique wise.
He enjoys it whenever you decide to take him to your realm for a challenging hike or an enchanted evening jog.
"I didn't know I vanted to be in a fairytale book." (He will say this while wanting to hold your hand but will speed up instead to poke at how much faster he's going than you.)
Every Saturday is now Stark Samstag (Strong Saturday) where he will have a push-up challenge, marathon he's mapped out with stuff along the trails, wrestling, etc. Anything that can be a show of strength or capabilities you're doing it.
Italy
You know that every time the 5"7 tall Italian comes to hug you...He wants to be lifted by one of your arms.
"Veeeeee~ lift me! Lift me Y/N!!"
Whenever you're sitting on the couch he liked to climb all over you like a curious cat. That and he likes to poke at your bulky biceps and cup your calves and marvel at them.
You're his favorite to come to when he's trying out a new pizza pr pasta recipe. You do have impeccable taste and would be able to give him advice that helps him beat the likes of France, Turkey, and China. (The Gastrounauts)
Loves being carried by you. Feliciano doesn't care he loves being held bridal style, over your shoulder, on your shoulders. He feels safe in your big protective Fae arms. (And it gives him different angles to squeeze your muscles.)
England
At first, when he encountered you in the forest, chopping trees, he was highly intimidated. Now that he's dating you he's still intimidated just with a red face and a higher status as a Fae himself.
Arthur may not challenge you in the strength department, but he will test your wit, strength in magic, and spellcasting abilities, in which you're both relatively evenly matched due to you both being seasoned magical beings.
Guilty of loving to grope your boobs/pecks. Arthur loves the balance of thick hardened muscle vs the soft undulating tissue. (It's a pass time for him like reading a book is or having tea time.)
At the end of every year, he does have you do a boudoir photoshoot to create a calendar and a private photobook he keeps for himself. The sets primarily concentrate on your incredibly defined 8 pack which, to him, makes you incredibly enticing.
So like my intrusive thoughts in fan fiction form.
Enjoy the crack fan fic of “Como Agua Para Chocolate” with Hetalia yeah I’m not sure how I got here either roll with it. XD
*I’ll update with the Cowboy Slang meanings later 4:19am 21 Juli 2025
This content is 🔥🌶️ Spicy 🌶️🔥 as fuck so viewer discretion is advised as you prepare yourself for
Cowboy! America x Fem! Reader
“For the last time, Alfred: I’M. NOT. INTERESTED. IN. BEING. IN. LOVE.” The venom and frustration coated your voice. His blues were doing their best to hold back the high noon tides that wanted to spill over his under eyes.
“Y/N, you don’t really mea-”
“I DO! For fucks sake! How much more direct do I have to be???” You spit in his direction. “Out of my way! I have things to do.” With that, you mount your horse and speed off. You had no time to entertain his stupidity today. You were one of the special workers on the de la Garza ranch. Your primary duties consisted of dealing with trade, tending the floral garden, and helping/watching over Tita. However, securing better trade deals with other merchants and ranches was your main concern over stifling the love life of a twenty-something. You provided alibis for Tita when necessary. You hated the way the ornery old bitch had the poor woman in a hellish bind.
Regardless, you shook those thoughts from your mind. You had to concentrate on the lucrative trade deal on silk that could bring you such a profit that you wouldn’t have to be an indentured servant anymore.
As your figure receded into the distance, Alfred stood there, feet planted to the ground, heart lonely, and cock in ever-growing pain. He bit down so hard on his lip that he didn’t realize that it had begun to bleed a little. Holding back all he felt for you was difficult. It became increasingly harder every passing day to hold himself back. His fists were clenched, and Alfred was likely on the verge of tears until Tita, the head cook of the ranch, touched his flexed bicep.
“Mr.Jones? Are you alright? Did something bad happen between you and Y/N? I can feel the sadness, rage, and heat of desire coursing through you.”
“You really know how to read people, Tita.”
“I’ve had years of always walking on glass and meeting the flames in which my instincts were formed.”
Tita’s eyes did their best to avoid the struggling python that was being suffocated in Alfred’s pants. She could tell it was dying to be free. Then an idea occurred to Tita. If she was able to penetrate Pedro through her cooking, then she’d be able to help Alfred penetrate you, even through your dense shield of stubbornness.
“Come, I need your help prepping the meal for tonight. We can have a special plate for Y/N to be ready when she gets back. However, Alfred?” Tita touches his pale face and momentarily admires/ inspects his sky blue eyes. “I will need a few drops of blood and some of your tears.”
While preparing the meal, Alfred still wasn’t able to concentrate much on helping Tita prepare the meal. She didn’t mind guiding him gently through the process.
“Alfred, I’ll have you tie the quail's legs together so that they can fry properly. While you’re tying, think about the act of subduing in sensual ways.”
Tita bumps into Alfred’s large body playfully, while doing so, she pricks him, drawing just a bit of his blood. She added it to the pan that was cooking the chestnuts.
“So that your undeniable passion can penetrate the flavor of the dish and thus Y/N’s heart.” Alfred bit down on his lip. A little sweat leaped from his brow into the quail. He thought of how lovely you would look in this very position of the small bird. Heat began to inflate his pants snake. Alfred longed to grab your legs, hold them steady, and massage them into the bed. He thought about how pretty you’d look covered in his seed right after doing numerous rounds. Your soft skin being molded in just the way he wanted, your pained but pleasured moans. He’d…….
“That’s enough, Alfred, don’t break the bones. That will ruin the presentation.” Tita interrupts his dissent into the depths of desire.
‘The heat would loosen bristles on the wild hog. Damn it Y/N why do you have to be so damn hot that even prunes started stewin’ in their own juices???’
“Right.” He replies sheepishly. Alfred gritted his teeth and began to sway his hips back and forth to try and shake his awoken rattlesnake that wanted nothing more than to burrow inside of you.
“Next, I’ll need your help with turning the chestnuts into a puree. Having you grind them can help you release some of that aggression that you’re feeling.” Tita wandered over to the uncut garlic cloves and freshly churned butter, so she could start the next part of the complex dish. As she started to chop the cloves into tiny shards, the intense smell of vegetable sulfur scent made Alfred’s cerulean hues well up with fresh salt water. One tear managed to fall right into his freshly ground chestnut puree. He was going over all the worst possible scenarios of what might be happening to you right now. Were you kidnapped? Did you get injured because your horse kicked you off and left you stranded in the forest, or did you have a treacherous trek back to the ranch from the city that was at least 10 miles away? His real feelings of love within this alchemical process. This dish was kind of like making a Cupid’s arrow meant to shoot through barriers like a blazing star drawing together beings that shouldn’t be separated.
Tita, the Universe, and Alfred all knew too well that you and he should be together. Just you were stubbornly unaware.
Your horse trodded trepidatiously through the dirt road. You decided to take the more covered way to avoid being seen by federal soldiers. You were determined not to share or be taxed for the goods you were able to procure. As you rounded up to a winding curve, you had to halt your horse abruptly.
“Fuck these pigs.” You spat under your breath.
“Señora, I’m afraid I have to ask you a few questions and inspect your bags.”
“Make it quick. I’m on a tight timeline with my ranches’ owner.” You narrow your eyes in contempt and frustration that you have to do this stupid dance for arrogant military men. You dismount your horse and step aside.
“Inspect as you please.” You mockingly bow at them as the few soldiers and their commander take apart your bags. As they began their “inspection” you noticed one of them open the bag that had Rosaura’s pearls for her necklace and tiara. You made sure you kept your attention on him especially.
“How did you obtain these goods senorita?” The commander takes a few steps closer to you. You take one step back. You cautiously rubbed your ankles together to ensure that you still had your pistol on you.
“I know a well established merchant. I’m using this connection to help pay off my debts to the family I’m currently indentured to.” Your eyes then wander back to the solider that had the bag of pearls was stuffing them in his satchel. That made your blood come to an immediate boil.
“Hey! Senor hands off the goods! They’re for the de La Garza wedding and I have to make good on my delivery. Puta.”
Your voice made the already tense air quake with anticipation. Your trigger finger is itchy.
“Señorita, I know you’re not accusing one of my men o-”
A bullet whizzes right past the commander's ear.
“You’ll be a dead man if you and your pathetic lot don’t drop the pearls.” Your index finger is ready to fulfill that promise.
“Cretina arrogante.” His small group of soldiers grabs their swords and rifles. “Matar a la puta!”
Alfred was pacing back and forth in the kitchen furiously like a slowly heating bull in the early morning sun.
“Where in the high heavens is that woman?! The cows have long since come home, and I’m fit to be tied if she’s not here right this second!” His boots boom against the terra cotta colored tile. The spurs spinning in unison with his boiling frustration.
“Alfred. Amigo. It will be fine, Y/N is a fighter like my older sister Gertrudis. She’ll come back. She always has.” Tita calls out to him amidst the smoke that was billowing out of his ears when a train engine, which shouts about its arrivals and departures.
“Yes, but what if this time she’s gone and got herself all hurt, and I know nothing about it? What if she-” Alfred’s ears perked up at the sound of hooves trotting towards the kitchen.
“Tita….” She heard her name be faintly uttered into the night once the trotting stopped. The voice sounded as if it were in agony.
“Y/N!” Alfred was halfway to the door before Tita could even respond to you calling out her name. When he came into your now somewhat fading eyesight.
“Damn it. Not him. Not now.” You utter under your breath.
“Y/N WHAT IN TARNATION?!? Who dun put all these blue whistlers in ya? Where are they? Let me at em?” Alfred angrily rambles on about how he’s going to fuck up the people who dared to put their hands on you. You were in his arms as he carried you inside to tend to your wounds. With each drop of blood that got onto his clothing and boots, some of his hot air was turning back into heat that burned underneath his skin. Feeling warmth of any kind radiating off you, even your blood, sent Alfred’s hormones into a frenzy. His once sleeping trouser snake was awoken by the new wave of heat and essence being emitted by you. Alfred laid you down gently on his Velvet Couch. Tita wasn’t far behind Alfred with the medical supplies.
“She knows how to get into trouble at times.”
“Don’t blame me, it's those cabrones who tried to steal the shit for Rosauras’ dress.” You manage to shout. You hated when you had to half ass your job, it meant that it was going to take longer for you to gain your freedom.
‘Rosaura’s wedding dress!’
Those words ricocheted in Tita’s mind as soon as they tumbled out of your mouth. It was like having hundreds of beestings hit the heart all at once.
Pedro…..
“Tita?”
“Yes?” Snapping out of her sad haze that was beginning to form around her.
“Can you pass me some of the disinfectant and a cloth, please? I’ll tend to Y/N ‘s wounds, and you look like you’ve seen a ghost, darlin’. Maybe it’s time to hit the hay.”
“I….yes…..” Not meeting Alfred’s gaze, she defeatedly handed him the medical supplies box, exited, with her mind still flooded with Pedro. She leaves, leaving the two of you alone.
A pregnant silence fills the room, minus the grunts and movement of gauze, the two of you dared not speak out your feelings. You were appreciative that for once, the blonde cowboy was quiet; however, the look on his face and the heat coming off him gave you new problems to worry about. You wondered if he was still upset about your rejection from earlier and if…..
“Y/N?” Puncturing the silence with a sharp but low voice so as not to disturb the others still sleeping within the house. It took all of your strength not to let out an exasperated sigh.
“Yes…..Alfred?” You wince in pain from him pulling the gauze on your ankle too tightly. The blonde man bites down hard on his lip, drawing a few drops of blood. He felt his other head twitch, and his heart was drumming in his chest.
“What happened?” Alfred started. “Why do you have to be so reckless and run into a bunch of curly wolves. I could’ve had to bury you in the bone orchard.” He chides you as his grip on your calf increased slightly, where he wrapped one of your wounds. His grip made you let out a short yelp of pain. Thoughts from earlier were resurfacing in his mind, where he got to tie your soft (skin color) legs and prepare you to be stuffed.
“Your stupid cowboy phrases don’t read well in Spanish.” You chuckle lightly in an attempt to cut the tension that only increased the moment Tita left. It’s difficult to read the man's expression when anger is the primary emotion, and the secondary emotions: desire, sadness, and fear, all blend in a potent dish. A lightning bolt of pain shot through your calf and your entire body. Alfred’s hand was gripping it tightly while one of his digits prodded the gunshot wound he’d just finished tending to.
“Alfred! Que pedo!?” (What the hell? Vulgar) You try to break free from his might, but his strength feels like that of thousands of men. Your heartbeat begins to pick up. To no avail, you couldn’t break free. With the swift movements of a pouncing rattlesnake, the dirty blonde was on top of you. His breathing was labored and heavy. Sweat beads were dripping down his forehead. His pale cheeks were flushed. His large hands had planted themselves on both sides of your head. Alfred’s gigantic body began to pulsate with a growing level of fire raging beneath his skin, causing him to produce heat. If you didn’t have diminishing candlelight, you would have thought he was a sweaty bull. Alfred’s blues bore themselves into your sou,l searching for something.
“Why do you hate me, y/n?”
Truth be told you didn’t ‘hate’ him. You just had other dreams in mind that came before him, like being able to go worldwide wide see all the cultures, people, animals, etc. You wanted to be able to step out into ice-cold open sea while on a warm sunny beach. You wanted to be fed tropical cuisine by …
“Y/N?” Alfred says loud enough for you to hear it and much too low in tone for it not to be a command for you to answer him.
Your eyes pull away from his gaze to concentrate on the candle that had only an inch and a half left on it. The tiny orange light being the only distraction you had within your dilemma…you just wanted enough to pack up and travel….
“Y/N!” Louder this time to snap you out of your thoughts.
“Please…Alfred, not now. I’m in pain. My head hurts.” You plea,d hoping that giving him your best ‘I’m imploring you to leave me be,’ look will be enough to get him to back off. You bite down on your lip, trying to be convincing. You allow your eyes to grow wide, filling with translucent bubbles. They begin to flow upwards and hit Alfred in all the right places.
His heart filled with bubbles that transformed into butterflies, making his heart speed up. His head received a flurry of white, red, and pink kisses. His body was alight with scarlet warmth, it craved, and lastly his cock got him with a new wave of blood.
Alfred grabs your chin and ensures that your gorgeous orbs are locked within his. You were in sync with his labored breathing. You could hear the delicate wings brush up against Alfred’s lungs. The silvery wings feathered at his heart. The strings that were attached to it began sending harmonic vibrations throughout his entire being. Even Alfred’s soul was touched.
His pants felt way too tight. He felt as though a beast was trying to escape.
“Al…Alf…Alfred? Are you alright?” You studied his features. He was completely drenched in sweat. You weakly reach up to touch his forearm that was caressing your cheek.
“Ye…I CAN’T HOLD MY HOG BACK ANYMORE!” He blurts out while swiftly undoing his belt and zipper, allowing his pants python to spring free from its prison. Alfred’s prodigious pulsating penis looked like it was in pure agony. He leans down to give you a sloppy kiss on the lips. He sucks away all the air from you greedily. Alfred only lets go when you’re beginning to squirm violently for oxygen. He lets go of your lips with an audible pop.
“You can’t keep doing this to me, Y/N.” Alfred puts his forehead to yours. “I’m soft down on ya and I can’t lose you darlin’. Seeing you come back with all those lead plums…” He maneuvers his hands to capture both of yours. “Scared me, darlin’, please…”
Alfred placed a kiss on your forehead, sending a wave of sparkles to flood your entire being. For a moment, you considered whether you were being hit with the euphoria of opium.
‘What in the world is happening to me?! Why is the world around me beginning to feel like a dream?’
“I’m going to ask you again, Y/N. Why do you hate me? I’m not going to drop it until I get an answer that is as fine as cream gravy.”
Alfred’s ocean blues concentrate themselves on your tired (eye color) orbs. His other hand trails its way down to your underwear, where he begins to prod at your womanhood. He does so first through your panties, then his monstrous length takes over the duty of teasing you. You wanted to slink backwards, but your body responded by jerking forward to meet his fire. Just as you were about to kiss again, both of your stomachs grumbled loudly in unison. The two of you couldn’t help but laugh.
“Heh. Shucks, that's one way to kill a mood.” Alfred’s cock goes flaccid somewhat. He did want to be at full strength while riding you all night. And he knew exactly how to do that: The Quail with Rose petal sauce.
“I’ll be back.” He kisses you once more on the lips. Even as he breaks the kiss, his lips linger above yours for a few moments. Alfred felt that if he let them go, he’d never be able to have them again. “I made dinner for you, darlin’.” Alfred caressed your cheek as he hesitated to leave you, as if you’d vanish into smoke the moment he’d let you go.
“I’m glad you’re above snakes, Y/N. You’ve got sand darlin’ and it's one of the many reasons I’m soft down on you.” He continues to stroke your cheeks lovingly as he brushes some loose strands of your hair back behind your ear. “Just while I get your supper, please don’t mount your horse and burn the breeze while I go get it.”
Alfred’s hand catches your uninjured hand and places a kiss on it.
“Promise?”
Rose had been windswept across your cheeks as your eyes darted across the room as if you were trying to sharpshoot the words you needed to respond to him properly. He didn’t wait for your response since he was also sharp set and required sustenance.
Alfred began to follow the instructions on how to properly heat your meal so that it wouldn’t lose flavor or have the wrong texture. As he stirred the honey into the sauce, the sweet smell reminded him of you whenever you got out of the shower, spent the day in the floral garden, came back from a spice trade deal, assisting Tita in the kitchen…you had him roosting on you. His cock started to rustle in his trousers full as a tick once more.
“Y/N…” He whispered and moaned under his breath as he continued to cook. He could begin to feel the fire beneath his skin rekindle itself. Alfred just wanted to be permanently connected to your heart and hips.
Your mind was caught up in a hurricane of emotions, and you didn’t dislike the man entirely, but he was highly obnoxious … but kind at times, too. He did treat your wounds, make you supper, along with various other things, during his time with being at the ranch. He once wrangled a bull with his bare hands to save you. Then your mind wandered back to your other desires, like being able to roam the world freely and be fed tropical cuisine by ….
“Y/N darlin’ FLY AT IT! Tita taught me this one! It’s her special Quail in Rose Petal Sauce.” He brings over your tray. The smell wafting from it made your mouth water and your hormones activate.
“It does smell delicious. I have to admit.” Watching you lick your lips made Alfred think about how great these same lips would look wrapped around his dick. A shockwave of desire sent more blood flow to it. He’s sure he’s never felt his pants be this tight before.
“Let me help feed you.” He cuts into the tender quail meat as he does so, and you could feel your body tingle with anticipation. For once, it felt like one of the things you’d always dreamed of was coming to fruition. As you took a bite of the bird, you now knew what heaven tasted like.
“It’s a dish for the gods!” You blurt out weakly in an attempt to keep the mood light. You need more time to think over everything. The kiss…the touching…. Which….you’d never admit to Alfred that it felt good….and you never knew men could be that large. Alfred gets your second fork full.
“I’m glad you like it, Y/N.” As the fork retracted from your mouth, all he could think about was his cock sliding out of your cunt with hopes that his seed took root in your womb. Alfred wanted to create his own family tree with you.
Alfred picked up your third bite. Your heart was already accelerating, and you could feel your nightgown become drenched in sweat. You were beginning to enjoy being around Alfred. He was becoming different somehow….he was being transformed by the pink mist that…. Was it coming from him… or was it the wonderfully made meal? For a few minutes, you allowed Alfred to feed you in silence while you tried to ignore how your heart suddenly became a hot air balloon. Why had your inner thighs felt like they’d been submerged in the Gulf of Mexico? These thoughts plagued your mind while Alfred was above you, shifting his uncomfortably massive and still-growing dick that yearned to have your tight, warm squeeze.
The sexually charged stillness was broken by the sound of Alfred’s pants button popping off his pants. His python had burst free from prison. Alfred was fully erect and slightly embarrassed that he couldn’t shuck off his clothes like a fancy fille, but bursting in also makes an impressive entrance too.
“Al…Alfred…” You bite your bottom lip, taking in the sight of his chorizo.
Suddenly, you’re being grabbed by your uninjured leg, and your new position is beneath him.
“Y/N….” He lowers himself onto his forearms. You can smell mint, sweat, tobacco, and the late summer midnight breeze on him. His breath is hot and sticky as he inhaled you while he held his face in the crook of your neck.
“Yes…Alfred?” You bring your good arm to run your hand through his dirty blonde locks.
“Why do you hate me?”
You swear you could hear cracks forming on the surface of your heart.
“Alfred…I don’t hate you.”
He begins to plant kisses on your neck. Your feet curled with excitement.
“Heh. You are finally acknowledging the corn. I always knew you were soft on me.” Alfred brought his cerulean hues to take in yours. The second that your gazes interlocked with one another, a magical kind of chemistry overtook the two of you. You slowly tried to unbutton his shirt, but struggled since you only had the use of one of your arms. He lets out a soft chuckle and places your hand on his well-defined chest. It felt as if it were stone that merely had flesh covering it. He unbuttoned his shirt and showcased his abs. Shirking off everything but his choke strap. He looked like a proud, powerful stallion with a cock to match his daunting physique.
Alfred brushed the hair from his bright sapphires that gleamed in the fading candlelight. He was staring intently at you before taking both sides of your face within his palms and placing a tender kiss on your soft lips. As your lips intertwined, your clothes burned off into the rose colored smoke that your erotically inflamed bodies created. Alfred intensified the kiss by forcing his tongue into your mouth and trying to devour your tongue. He’d waited for so long to be able to have you warm his hay sack.
Alfred’s cock pressed itself against your stomach. It felt as though a fleshy branding iron was trying to penetrate your being. Alfred’s weight overpowered you, and his hands roamed upwards so they could entangle themselves with yours. One hand wandered over to grope your breast, playing with the nipple, making it rise to meet his touch.
His hips align with yours like stars making a constellation. Between your legs, it felt like hot coals had been brought fresh from the fireplace. Alfred was moving his tip between your soaked folds as if he was tending to the fields: rough & punishing.
“Ah…” You begin to moan at being so close to the sun. You buck your hips forward to prompt him to prod at your womanhood and claim you. He picked up your injured leg and gently rested it on his shoulder. When Alfred retracted his lips from you momentarily, your heart gained a few more cracks. You now wanted to be close to him like this, always.
Relentlessly, he started to rub his length on the outside of your pussy. You could feel the veins on it pumping blood through them.
Alfred roughly but slowly dragged his coated length against your womanhood that was practically begging to be stabbed by the rugged cowboy. Alfred was intentionally toying with you. This was payback for taking so long to confess to him & making him have engorged blue balls.
“Hmmmmm…….Al….please…… I need you.” You groaned desperately.
The room was growing dimmer with each passing moment, the warm red glow giving way to the pure white luminescent light of the moon pouring into the room from the window. You were now only able to make out an outline of Alfred. You were able to see his azure eyes that carried with them petals of blue, pink, & yellow hydrangeas. The flurry of emotions that flowed through his heart, you could now thoroughly feel what was swarming in his heart, and damn, did you know how to make him feel your ire.
‘I’M. NOT. INTERESTED. IN. BEING. IN. LOVE!’ Ricocced in your mind and shot a bullet down to your heart, making you have a visceral reaction to the thought. Your heart had been successfully hit by a Cupid Carrier’s arrow.
“Y/N? Y/N?” Alfred whispered as he lightly massaged your upper thigh.
“Alfred?”
“You had a thousand-mile stare on your face, and I was lik,e damn. I didn’t know my rattlesnake could knock a lady out even before I could stick er.” He moves back down so he can be beside you while lying on his side. Alfred is diligent to maneuver himself so he doesn’t harm you anymore, but also so that you two could be face-to-face. Even though it was dark, it felt as though Alfred could see that your body had a sunny, warm glow. Your (eye color) spheres, it felt like he was in his tiny universe that was created just for him. The tiny stars that drew him to you and the black holes that stared at him and sought to keep you and him separated. The arrow acted as a needle in the sky, sewing the holes up.
Alfred was in awe of your eyes until you brought him back down to earth when you kissed his slightly chapped lips. He placed his hand on the back of your head to deepen the kiss. Alfred entangled his legs with yours, all while keeping his throbbing member between your drenched folds. You move your hips erratically against his cock. The teasing was becoming too much, and you just wanted him to take you already.
Alfred’s hips buckled.
“Ahh…fssssssss….please…….Alfred……please…….” You could feel the copious amount of preparation rolling down your legs and arms. Along with Alfred’s body heat raging like a midnight forest fire, you needed him to make being injured and encased within an inferno worth it.
“Heh. You’re Barkin’ at a knot darlin’. You’ve got to pay yer dues fer playing hard to get for months on end. [He says your entire legal name here] S’no fair darlin’.”
You rolled your eyes in annoyance. Maneuvering your arm down to his member, you grip him tightly and begin to pump. Alfred sucks in a sharp breath. His head is becoming overfilled with a few shockwaves of pleasure.
Alfred loved the feel of your delicate but strong fingers around his dick. He wanted to release so badly, but he didn’t want to waste his seed. Alfred felt his body instinctively coil around your legs to keep you still while he thrusted. His pre-cum made him slick. It made it easy for him to be able to glide in and out of you with ease.
After a few minutes of relentless grinding against your yearning heat, he finally decides to break the rhythm of panting, thrusts, moans, and bangs.
“I won’t hang fire over ya no more Y/N. I’m no fool. And besides.” He leaned down closer to your neck and dragged his tongue up it. Alfred loved the taste of your sweat, blood, gunpowder & honey that melted together on your skin to craft you. You were the perfect mix of sweetness and danger. You were beautiful chaos incarnate. It’s what drove him wild. It’s what made him hard.
“I have a hankering for a hot heap of Y/N.” Alfred moved his lips to kiss up to your jawline so he could capture your lips with his.
It looked like two universes were being sewn together. Alfred’s rattlesnake acted as the needle that pierced the fabric of your womanhood.
“Al….!Al….!ALFRED OH! OH!!!” You break away from the kiss to gasp and moan in awe at his size and performance. Alfred made sure to slide himself back in slowly. There was nothing he could do about his massive girth. However, your extremely constrcting walls were particularly punishing for him. He wasn’t lasting as long as he intended to.
“Y/N.” He gasps into the air, he perspires, and swears that he’s in a different reality. When he looks at you, all he can feel is your heat, which envelops him in a sense of comfort. When you looked into his sapphire eyes, you felt like you’d been blanketed by strong arms that you felt only wanted to protect you. Fervor was rising within you. You wanted Alfred to continue to plow into you deeper, like a star being crushed to form its being. You now had a desire to create a new being…a new life.
Alfred began to pick up the pace with his ‘sewing’. You could feel every pulse, movement, and thrum of his heartstrings as he plowed into you passionately. As he continued, you playfully ran your hands through his golden locks. You imagined you were a kid again, running your hands through the fields of wheat. Your legs swung listlessly against Alfred’s heavy thrusts. Your body was useless to do much against his natural raw power. Alfred could feel himself preparing to be thrown off a cliff. Judging by how your legs were trying to coil around his waist like his belt, and your walls beginning to milk him dry.
“Darlin’ I can’t hold back my hog anymore.” He says one more time before drawing you into a kiss that melted down his entire being with yours. The way that your bodies interweave themselves together was like the universe’s way of permanently tying you to each other.
Alfred’s hot seed filled you like Turkey in Mole, creating the first part in your ‘oven. Erotic labored moans filled the room for a while while the two of you rode out your orgasms. Your hearts were humming together in harmony and came together in song that would be heard through the fabric of time forever.
Alfred had a difficult time letting go of your lips. When he finally did so that you could allow some oxygen back into your lungs. He closed his eyes and rubbed his nose against yours. He felt like he’d reached heaven.
“I love you Y/N.”
Alfred trails kisses from the bridge of your nose up to your forehead. You loved the way his lips tickled your skin.
“I love you, too, Alfred.” With that, you doze off, and his trouser snake chooses to burrow inside of your comfortable walls for the night.
In the morning, Tita whipped up special soap made of honey and saffron to keep the romantic mood up between you and Alfred. She’s guilty of being a tad bit nosy since she needed something to distract her from Rosaura’s and, worst of all, Pedro’s betrayal. She was pleased to know that Alfred got his way. Tita did believe that you and the rugged cowboy made a powerful couple. Alfred was a fantastic farmer and bounty hunter when Mama Elena needed some dirty work of sorts to get done. You, on the other hand, were experienced as a black market dealer, and you proved to be useful around the house, too.
Since you were injured and needed a good reason to leave the oppressive ranch for good…Tita decided that this was the best opportunity to get you pregnant. Mama Elena won’t want you there anymore if you are carrying a child. She’d get rid of you and ensure your separation is permanent.
Tita was crossing all kinds of boundaries when she spent the early hours of the morning brewing a special bath for the two of you…In Mama Elena’s sacred tub! She didn’t care, though. You’d been a friend to him when she was lonely, especially when Nacha died and Gertrudis left. So time to return the favor.
The bath she’d made contained ⅓ Cup of Lavender Flowers (dried and ground by mortar. Is the active aphrodisiac. Mainly to help Y/N. Since Alfred needs no help in the libido department.)
1 Teaspoon of Honey (to heal and cleanse the wounds) with just these two simple ingredients combined it would encourage the love making to continue. She also added a few ruby rose petals to really give the room an added charm. They decorated the room like it was being set up to be a theatrical scene of sorts.
‘Then I can have breakfast and a picnic ready for them.’ Tita went to Alfred’s quarters and knocked gently.
“Y/N, are you and Alfred awake?”
Tita hears some quick shuffling around the rooms before you answer the door.
“Yes?” You had hobbled over on your crutches to answer the door, while all Alfred managed to do was hang his hat over his morning wood.
“Neither of you should bother getting dressed. I’ve made a special bath for the two of you.” She bit her lip and looked away from the scene in the room with a blush.
‘I wish I could do that with Pedro.’ She thought solemnly. Then she mentally slapped herself. ‘Concentrate, Tita! You don’t have all the time in the world!’
“Come! Both of you! You can not allow the water to become cold or Mama Elena to come back from her business trip this evening.” Tita tossed towels over both of you and hustled you across the courtyard to the ‘dark room’. As you did so, Alfred was enjoying the view of seeing your butt jiggle as you hobbled behind Tita.
Tita pushed open these double doors that were ivory white like clouds in the sky. When the lavender scent hits your nostrils, you both immediately relax from your brisk walk and wanted nothing more than to have your hands all over each other again. Alfred already had his hands on your hips. He gave you a few soft kisses that made your skin tingle with excitement. From there, he picked you up bridal style and gently placed you in the tub.
“Your soap and fresh clothes are on the table to the right of you. Enjoy lovebirds.” Tita quickly makes her exit so that you two can begin. Alfred inhaled your hair. It had noticeable traces of gunpowder from your encounter with the imperial guard. Yet he still kissed your hair. He was just happy to have a hog killing time while he got to be able to embrace you in the ways he’s always dreamed of.
“It can’t be a hog killing time if it’s rising again. I feel it poking my butt, hahahah.”
“I didn’t know you could read minds.”
“That’s what happens when you use supernatural remedies to solve love problems.” You turn to look at him with your eyebrows raised high and a smile wide on your face. You tease him by wiggling your butt against his snake to aggravate it. It was working as you allowed the fragrant lavender and honey to fill your lungs and allow both of you to melt into the heated water. He took off your soiled bandages so he could clean your wounds and get you fresh gauze.
“How many curly wolves did you square off with, darlin’?” He kissed the sides of your cheeks, and he cleaned you and massaged your thighs. His fingers expertly kneaded your soft flesh, releasing you’d taken seven gunshot wounds in total. Yet, you still managed to get back to the ranch in one piece with most of Roasura’s stuff.
You smile and drag your teeth across your bottom lip, thinking about how nice it will be for the next round of soldiers who will find their bodies.
“Five. It was just five. Nothing crazy, and it seemed that only one of the five was actually trained properly to be in battle. Or really, how to use a weapon for that matter. I got unlucky catching a few loose strays and two direct hits in my left arm from the commander.”
“I’m in awe of you, Y/N.” Alfred says before giving you more butterfly kisses on your damp skin, which sent you straight to heaven. The steam within the room grows thicker and rosy. When he came back up for air, he saw delicate ivory rope that caught his eye. Then he remembered what Tita said while making the Quail: ‘Think about the act of subduing in sensual ways.’ Alfred grabbed the rope, dragging it through the water first so it would be gentler on your skin. He swiftly captures your ankles and binds them as if they were the tiny quail’s legs and ties the rope tightly but not uncomfortably so.
“Alfr-” He cuts you off with a kiss. He forced his tongue in, and the thick muscle controlled your tongue. When he finally released your lips, Alfred was admiring your nude form for a few moments.
‘I’m ace high for being able to finally get Y/N to warm my velvet couch.’ Not only that, she loves me too. I wonder how pretty she’ll look pregnant and what our children could look like. I want them to have her-’
Your adorable giggle broke the early morning serenity and brought him back to the present.
“Alfred, what are you doing, amor?”
“Wrangling you in darlin’ because…” He brings himself inches away from your face.
“Yous” He pecks your forehead.
“A” He pecks your right cheek.
“Wild” Pecks your left cheek.
“One” Pecks your lips before he concentrates his blues back onto yours. Alfred’s enormous hand was lightly stroking your cheek as he gazed at you and bit down on his lip. You studied the way that he was shifting his eyes to a certain spot in the room, then back to you. His other hand swept the tile for something metal and proceeded to capture your hands. You could feel a harsh cold that contrasted with the hot water. The feeling gave you goosebumps. You were unable to move your arms freely, and they were now stuck behind you.
His boner popped up from beneath the surface of the water.
You burst into laughter at his silly yet sexy antics. You lift your feet up to prod at his member playfully. Feeling his thickening, pumping flesh with your toes, you felt his sexual energy travel from his length to your body. Synapses in your muscles reacted accordingly. It felt like a sensual lightning bolt travelled from your foot, to your calf, to your thigh, building up in power the closer it got to your vagina.
“Try me, cowboy.” You looked at him in the eyes while you continued to bounce his cock up and down.
“Darlin’ …” He lowers himself back into the fragrant water. Alfred stays just an inch away from your face. You can feel the water that may have gone frigid since the start of your bath reheat due to the intensity that was coming off of Alfred’s fair skin. He takes a few moments submerged in your pools of (eye color) before he states:
“Them is fighn’ words.”
Alfred suddenly grabbed your legs & hoisted them above your head. Too stunned, bound, and horny, you allow Alfred to contort your body in the way he desired. Stroking himself some before he entered was crucial. Your erotic whines, pants, & grunts kept him hard. With you hog-tied, penetration into your womb will be much deeper. Alfred lined himself up at your entrance & without hesitation entered you with one major thrust.
“AH! Al…. so..rough.”
He leaned down to kiss the top of your head and inhale the scent of beautiful chaos in your hair. The gunpowder, the sweat, the spices, and the flowers combined created you. You who never failed to rile him up. He always looked forward to seeing you at breakfast, tending to the garden, riding your horse…..
“Heh. I’m just getting started, darlin’.” Alfred could feel the multitudes of lava bubbles boiling inside of him. You drove all of him wild: his head, his heart, his soul, his cock. He felt his balls swell up painfully. Instinctively, he began to move his hips at a frenzied pace. He kept a tight grip on the sides of the tub.
He grabbed your waist aggressively. His breathing was heavy. His cock was sharp-set….Alfred propelled his hips forward one more time. The pleasured shriek rang out through the entire ranch.
Tita was in the kitchen making the cream for the fritters when she heard the “funny business” the two of you were getting into.
“Well, at least Y/N gets to be with who she's in love with.” She continued to gently stir the cream and egg whites.
The intense friction of moving in and out of Y/N made Alfred feel like he’s had a high-class cup of Scamper Juice. It’s a high that he only got to have when he was connected to you.
“Y/N…..Y/N…” Alfred panted out as he continued to plunge himself deeper and deeper into you. As Alfred practically sang out your name with reverence, like he was a choir boy. You and he were beginning to reach your zeniths. Alfred’s python was beginning to spurt out pre-cum, and for you, it may as well have been spurts of hot ash. His pace started to burn the breeze and sear your insides.
“Ah! Ah <3! AH<3!” Your maons grew louder with each punishing ram. Alfred is hitting the hilt of your cervix, hitting that magical spot that life sprang from. Your pelvis was doing its best not to break under Alfred’s immense force while your back was being plowed into the porcelain. You wouldn’t have to hang on for much longer since Alfred paused his movements so he could readjust for the finale. He got onto his knees. His thigh muscles flexing in that position made it look as though it could crush a watermelon. With his dick standing at attention, he was ready to harpoon his prize.
As the sun made its way across the sky, the changes to yours and Alfred’s lives had been altered forever. Now, intertwined till the end of time. However, Alfred and you had to run off before Mama Elena had a chance to separate the two of you, too. All knew she was the destroyer of love. With one last hug for the final goodbye. Tita handed you the Fritters and some food that could last the two of you for a few days.
“Thank you for everything, Tita.” Alfred shakes her hand with a plethora of gratitude. While he held you in his other arm, since, after this morning, you’d lost the ability to walk for a while.
“No problem. Mr. and Mrs. Jones.” Tita teased. Flashing a cheeky smile at you.
“Remember to eat the cream-soaked fritters first as a snack! It’s sure to uplift you as you look for a new place to call home & start your family.”
‘Cream Soaked.’ The only words that bounced around in Alfred’s mind before he imagining you naked and completely coated in his cum. Alfred didn’t notice that he got so caught up in his fantasy of you that the button on his pants flew off into the sky.
For Friday who would you want to go on a date with ?
🇨🇦Canada 🇨🇦
🇯🇵 Japan 🇯🇵
🇷🇺 Russia 🇷🇺
🏴 England 🏴
Voting ended onJul 17, 2025
Headcannons or Short Stories who knows?
I just want to post more content I suppose.
Also America isn’t on here due to the fact his Como Auga Para Chocolate 🍫 crack fic will be posted within the next 48hrs (hopefully) I’m 30% of the way done with typing.
