Nobody talks about the grieving that comes with healing
Hi beautiful mamas.
Healing is far from linear, it's a strange path you have to take to BECOME. It's strange because you're not only healing from what happened to you; but you are grieving a version of yourself that HAD to survive it.
There are moments where I look at my daughter and feel a rush of overwhelming love, at the same time I quietly mourn the 6 year old little girl I was. The little girl who needed comfort. Softness. Emotional safety. Makes me think how many women become mothers while secretly carrying versions of themselves that were never fully loved properly. If they were loved at all...
How healing is talked about like its one big beautiful journey? Honestly? It's anger. Its exhaustion. Its detaching. Its crying while folding baby clothes. Its realizing you deserved better. Sometimes, its choosing to be soft after everything life still put you through. I think that's the part I'm learning now.
How to remain soft without becoming weak.
How to mother with absolute love even when life did not always love me gently.
How to believe I still deserve beautiful things.
I am still learning.
I think that counts for something. Doesn't it?
-A healing mom